Chapter 4 Being a good wife is a lifelong career - leave one of the two husbands behind

Sir Chad Fair's research shows that: in fact, every man has two selves - the real self and the ideal self. For example, if a man is very shy, he wishes to be brave; if he is not very popular, he wishes to be liked; if he is not confident, he wishes to be fearless. All a wife can do is not to be too critical; not to compare her with people she knows; not to burden him with work, but to encourage and appreciate him gently and patiently, so that he will have confidence in himself and help his husband to be as good as he can. His ideal look. "When a man hears compliments from his wife such as 'You are amazing', 'I'm so proud of you', 'I'm so blessed to have you', almost all of them feel elated and jump for joy." Marjorie Holmes said.There are many successful men who have fully proved the truth of this statement with their experiences.for example:

Mr. Picos, president of Picos Cargo and Equipment, wrote to me: "A man can become not only what he wants him to be, but also what his wife wants him to be. I am convinced of this. Over the years, I have hired many people, but I have to talk to their wives before I can decide whether to give him a responsible position. A man's career success is often determined by The wife's attitude towards life, and how much she lifts her husband's morale. I'm a good example of that myself." "My wife's family is very rich. Before she married me, she never lacked in material life. She almost had everything she wanted. She was also well-educated and lived a very happy life. As for me, I had neither money nor education. , and no assets that can be used, only her trust in me and a desire to break into the world, nothing else.

The first few years of our marriage were very difficult. In the face of constant failures and setbacks, she never complained and kept encouraging me to keep trying.The success of my business today is entirely due to her constant encouragement and support.She has been in poor health for the past few years, but she is still very cheerful, without showing the slightest unhappiness.Every morning when I leave the house, she always asks, 'Bob, is there anything I need to do today?' When I come back in the evening, she listens to my day.Her obsession is to help me, and I hope I will never disappoint her. "

But there are some women in life who act the exact opposite of Mrs. Pikes.They want their lives to be the way they want them to be—richer than others, with sleek new cars and new clothes, joining clubs of all kinds, regardless of their husbands' abilities, and as a result their husbands never get married. Satisfactory results will be achieved. Blind demands cannot make a man progress, the best way is to encourage him.So how should we encourage a man to become what he wants to be? Find out what talents he has already demonstrated, and then give praise and encouragement. When he lacks confidence, find out the courageous things he has done, such as: "Remember the time when you proposed to the boss in order to reduce the waste in the department? Such a thing that requires great courage, you It’s been done! It’s really not easy.” No matter how cowardly a person is, he will continue to work hard.If a woman assured him of his competence, he might even feel that he might have acted braver—and he would have done so in the end.

As a wife, you must give your husband some guidance, and you must never say to your husband, "You can't do it, you have failed." "You never fight for yourself, I even doubt if you dare to say 'hum' to a goose!" What effect will such words achieve? Say an 'hum' higher up.This advice is given to us by Margaret Cagin Bonin, published in Cosmopolitan Magazine. "If he really can't, his boss will tell him mercilessly. But we all have to encourage him at home - as long as you work hard, everyone can succeed, including breakfast, in bed. A man who said to his husband 'you A wife who won't succeed anyway will only make her husband fail faster."

This is by no means alarmist.What a woman says wisely can really make a man see himself in a whole new light for the better. Tom Joston is a young World War II veteran who was wounded in the war, not only with a limped leg, but also with scars all over his body.Thankfully, none of this prevents him from enjoying his favorite sport, swimming.One Sunday shortly after he was discharged from the hospital, he and his wife went to Huntington Beach for vacation.Mr. Johnstown ended his simple surfing exercise and sunbathed on the beach, and soon he found that everyone was looking at him with strange eyes.He knew it was the scarred leg that drew the attention, he had never paid attention to it before.

Mrs. Josstown proposed to go to the beach again next Sunday.But Tom refused, he would not go out, preferring to stay at home.His wife understood what he was thinking.She said: "Tom, I know why you don't want to go out, the scar on your leg is giving you the illusion." Mr Josstown said: "I admit she was right. Then she said something that moved me so much that I will never forget it. She said: 'Tom, remember what an honor you are. These scars are well earned, they are badges of your courage, don't be ashamed to show them, you should be proud of them. Now let's set off together, let's go swimming."' Mrs. Tom Jostown has successfully removed his With a shadow in their hearts, they went out happily.

In various places, chambers of commerce often hold courses on salesmanship, and the sales manager club of the Boston chamber of commerce once sponsored it.About 500 salesmen and salespeople attended the course over five nights.On the last night of the course, all the wives of marketing reps are invited to come, because there is a program specially designed for them, instructing them on some ways to encourage their husbands, so that they can become smarter and achieve better sales score. One of the speakers is Dr. David Guy Bowles, author of Live a New Life and a marketing consultant.He suggested that every wife should be able to make her husband feel that she has become the ideal person, so that when they go out to work every morning, they will be full of confidence, and they will even whistle happily, and the sales performance will also be able to achieve Improve rapidly.

Says Dr. Bowles: "Praise him for his good manners, even if his attire is outdated; for his favorite tie, even if it's not pretty; for his good speech, and never mention his faux pas at the dinner party the night before. .Let him believe that he has the ability to conquer all customers. Do not doubt that he can really do it!" Why do we not believe it?Now that even brilliant marketing consultants like Dr. Bowles are convinced it works, let's try it too.Think what we get for our little effort - a more confident, happier husband, well worth it! It is no exaggeration to say that many world-renowned figures who have gone from failure to success in history owe their words of appreciation.Look again at the example of Eli Caperson, a great bridge player.

My husband once interviewed Mr. Capersen. He said that when he first came to America, he couldn't do anything well. He even suspected that he was the worst bridge player.Then everything changed when he married Josephine Thielen, a charming bridge teacher.She convinced him she had potential, a bridge genius.His wife's encouragement finally made him persevere on the path of bridge. Praise and encouragement from the heart is indeed one of the most effective ways to make men play to their full potential, and it is totally worth trying.Are we doing our best?No one can answer.In the end we will only keep one of the two husbands - the ideal him, and abandon the other real him.