Chapter 40 Chapter 7 Don't be a "Marriage Illiterate"

Dr Davis, she is the general secretary of the social health agency.Once, she persuaded a thousand women to frankly answer some questions about them.The results obtained are astonishing... almost unbelievable.That's the sex life of the average American adult. After Davis received the answers from these thousand women, she solemnly expressed her opinion... She pointed out that the main cause of divorce in the United States is the error of biological coordination. Dr. Hamilton's research results also confirmed the existence of such a fact.It took him four years to find this clear answer from the sex lives of a hundred men and a hundred women after they got married.

Hamilton raised about 400 questions and asked each man and woman about their married sex life; at the same time, he also discussed in detail the various questions they raised.This research took four years, and this work is considered to be extremely important in sociology, so it has attracted the attention of various philanthropists, and they have donated funds. If you want to know the results of this experiment, you may wish to read the book "What is the crux of marriage" by Hamilton and McGovern. What is the crux of marriage?Dr Hamilton said: "Most conflicts in marriage are not due to sexual misfits -- that's the fault of arbitrary, negligent psychopathologists.

Opinion.That is to say, if the sex life between husband and wife is very happy, many other small conflicts will naturally disappear. " Dr. Bobino is the director of the Los Angeles Institute of Family Relations. He has studied the marriages of thousands of people. He is also an authority on family life in the United States.According to Dr. Bobbino, the failure of marriage is usually caused by four reasons.He listed four situations: 1. Sexual disharmony. 2. Opinions on recreation differ. Three, threatened by the economy. 4. Physical and emotional instability and abnormalities. The above four points are listed one after the other according to their importance, and "uniqueness" ranks first, which makes people feel strange, and "economic difficulties" only ranks third.

All experts who study the causes of divorce agree that "sex" cooperation is very important.For example, a family court judge "Hoffman" declared: "Nine out of ten divorces are due to sexual problems." A well-known psychologist "Wesson" said: "Sex is the most important issue in our lives. Most of the breakup of happiness between men and women is caused by the issue of sex. started." Some of the doctors who came to my lectures have also talked about this problem... Well, in the 20th century, when all sciences are advancing by leaps and bounds, it is still difficult to ignore the natural "sexual instinct" to make people happy. Wouldn't it be pitiful if your marriage broke up!

The Reverend Butterfield, after eighteen years of missionary work, suddenly gave it up to become director of the Family Guidance Service in New York City, and he married like any young man.He once said: "When I was a pastor in the early years, I discovered from my experience that those men and women who came to the church to marry, although they had the desire to love each other for a long time and wanted to get married, they were blind to what they should know about marriage. I know, I don't know at all." Blind and ignorant! He also said: "We entrust the big problem of mutual adjustment in marriage to the word opportunity. As a result, the divorce rate has reached an astonishing 16 percent. Such a union is not a real marriage. It's just that you haven't divorced yet, that is, let yourself suffer.

A happy union, their marriage does not depend on chance, they choose and plan carefully for themselves, just like an architect who builds a house. " In order to assist this project, Butterfield insisted for many years that all the men and women who asked him to marry must frankly discuss their future plans with him.From the results obtained from this discussion, he came to the conclusion that men and women eager to marry were "marriage illiterates". Dr. Butterfield said: "Sex. It's just a satisfying and pleasant thing in married life. However, this matter must be reconciled very well, otherwise, there is no need to talk about other things."

But how to make it suitable? We still use Butfield's words to explain: "Emotional silence must be replaced by the ability to discuss objectively, and the ability to conclude Detachment of married life.The most effective way to acquire this power is from a book of precise scholarship and high interest...except my own, Marriage and Sexual Reconciliation.In addition to one book, I always have a few books like this around me. Of all my books of this type, there are three that I think are worth reading for the general public, and they are "Wedding Ceremony Sex Techniques" by "Hatton", "Married Sex Life" by "Eckner", and "Ladd "Sexual Elements of Marriage" three books.

Do we learn this kind of knowledge from books?Why not? So, if you want to make your family more happy and complete, the seventh rule is: Read a good book on the sex side of marriage. A few years ago, Columbia University and the American Social Health Association jointly hired well-known scholars to discuss the issues of college students' sex life and marriage.In that seminar, Dr. Bobino said: "The proportion of divorces is gradually decreasing. The reason for the decrease is that most people are now reading a lot of good books about sex life and marriage. This makes me deeply feel that in the article "How to Make Your Family Happier and Completer", I must introduce several valuable and good books on "sex", so that this One will be more perfect.The attitude towards seeking knowledge about sex life must be serious, just like we read a world literary masterpiece.If you have this kind of attitude and this kind of mood, you will get what you deserve.

●Feed Seven Ways to Make Your Family Happier Rule number one: don't gossip. Rule number two: Don't try to reform your partner. Rule number three: Don't criticize randomly. Rule number four: Give genuine appreciation. Rule 5: Always pay attention to trivial, small details. Rule number six: Be polite. Rule Seven: Read a good book on the sex side of marriage.