Chapter 32 Chapter 9 Make People Willing to Do What You Want

In 1915, the entire United States was shocked, because in one year, European countries killed each other; the scale was rarely seen in the history of human warfare.Can peace be achieved?Nobody knows.However, President Wilson is determined to work hard for this matter. He wants to send a representative, a peace envoy, to discuss with the warlords in Europe. At that time, Secretary of State Bryan, who was the most powerful advocate of peace, wanted to fight for this matter.He saw that this was an excellent opportunity--to perform a great task that will last forever.But President Wilson sent another person, Colonel Haus, Bryan's good friend.If Colonel Howes told Simbrain about this matter, it would not be easy to do without arousing Brain's anger.

Colonel Howes wrote in his diary: "When Bryan heard that I was going to Europe as a peace envoy, he was obviously very disappointed. Bryan said that he had originally planned to go on his own. I replied that the President considered it highly inappropriate for a senior member of the government to be in this position.If you go there, it will attract people's great attention-how can the US government send a secretary of state to discuss this matter? " Do you see the implication in this statement?Colonel Howes seemed to be telling Bryan how important his position was and how inappropriate it was.And Brian was satisfied.

Colonel House, who is alert and rich in social experience, has achieved an important rule in the relationship between people, That is: "Always make people happy to do what you suggest." President Wilson also used this rule when he asked McDoo to be a member of his cabinet!That was the highest honor he could give anyone, but what President Wilson did made others feel twice as important.Here's McDoo's own narration of the story: "President Wilson said he was collaborating and would be very happy if I agreed to be Secretary of the Treasury. He talked about it very happily; he made me feel that if I accepted the honor, I would be very happy. Seems like I've done him a big favor."

But unfortunately, President Wilson did not always use that kind of trick. If he did, the evolution of history might be different from what it is now. For example: Regarding the entry of the United States into the League of Nations, it has not won the approval of the House of Representatives and the Republican Party.President Wilson refused to bring Lord, Hughes, or other prominent Republicans with him to the peace conference; instead he brought two relatively unknown members of the party to the conference.He snubbed the Republican Party to make them feel that it was their idea to create the League of Nations; it was his idea to leave them alone.Wilson's careless handling destroyed his own career, damaged his health, and even affected his longevity.The United States never joined the League of Nations and changed the history of the future world.

The publishers of the famous Doubleday Pages have always obeyed this rule: "Make people willing to do what you suggest." They clearly fulfill this rule. The famous writer Henry said that Doubleday Pages, sometimes Refusal to publish a certain book for him was done in such a modest manner that it never gave any unpleasant feeling.Henry felt that although Ershuang Riye refused, he was more happy than others who accepted his novel. I know a man who had many invitations to speak, and therefore he had to turn down quite a few.Those who came to invite him were all his friends or those with whom he had very close contacts.However, his euphemism was very clever, and although the other party was rejected by him, he was still satisfied.

How did he cope with them?Is it to tell his friends that he is too busy to spare time?Or something else.No, it is not.Expressing his gratitude for the invitation and his apologies, he suggested someone who could speak in his place.That is, he does not make people feel unpleasant. He would make a suggestion like this: "Why don't you ask my friend, Mr. Logos, the editor of the Brooklyn Eagle, to speak for you? Did you ever think of that, Mr. Icock, who had Having lived in Paris for fifteen years, I'm sure there will be many amazing stories to tell about his experience as a correspondent in Europe. And that one, Langfaleau. Monsieur, he has a lot of hunting videos in India."

"Wante" is the manager of a "Wante Printing Company" in New York. He wants to change the attitude and requirements of a technician without arousing resentment.The technician was in charge of several typewriters and other machines that were running around the clock.He's always complaining about the long hours, too much work, and the need for an assistant. But what was the reason that Mr. Vander, who did not shorten his hours, did not add any assistants, cheered up the technician?Vander came up with the simple idea of ​​giving the technician a private office.A sign outside the office bears his name and title, "Director of Services."

In this way, he is no longer a repairman who can be ordered by anyone at will.He is now the director of a department, and he has a sense of self-respect and self-respect. The "service department director" is now very happy and no longer complains. Is it too childish?Maybe yes... But there is such a thing that happened to Napoleon.When he trained the Legion of Honor, issued 1,500 ten-dimensional badges to his soldiers, named his eighteen generals "French generals", and called his army "the great army", people also said He was "childish" and laughed at him for giving toys to old soldiers who were born and died.Napoleon replied, "Yes, sometimes people are ruled by toys."

This method of gifting by title or authority worked for Napoleon as well as for you.Example: Earlier I mentioned a friend of mine, Mrs. "Jinde" in New York.There is a piece of grass in her home, which is often trampled by naughty children, which troubles her a lot.Mrs. Qinde's persuasion and scaring to those children didn't work, but she finally figured out a way for her... She picked out the worst child among them and gave that child a title that gave him a sense of authority.She called the boy her "spy" for children who trespassed on her lawn, and it worked.The child who was her "secret agent" lit a fire in the back yard, burned an iron rod red, and threatened the children that whoever broke into the grass would be burned with a red-hot iron.

This is human nature. So you have to change the will of others without arousing his resentment and complaints. The ninth rule is: Make people happy to do what you suggest. Summary Nine Ways to Change People Without Offending or Disgusting Rule number one: Start with compliments and genuine appreciation. Rule number two: Indirectly point out people's mistakes. Rule number three: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Rule number four: When asking questions, don't use direct commands. The fifth rule: take care of the other party's face. Rule Six: Celebrate the slightest improvement, and praise every improvement.

Seventh Rule: Give people a good name to keep. Rule Eight: Use encouragement to make it seem easy to do what you want to correct; make it seem easy to do what you want the other person to do. Rule Nine: Make people happy to do what you suggest.