Chapter 24 Part Four Nine Ways to Get People to Agree with You Chapter One If You Must Criticize, Here's How to Begin

When President Coolidge was in office, my friend was invited to the White House on a weekend.As he walked into the president's private office, he heard Coolidge saying to one of his female secretaries, "You are wearing a beautiful dress today. You are a young and beautiful girl." President Coolidge, who is usually taciturn, rarely praised others in his life, but this time he said such words to his female secretary, and a bright blush appeared on the face of the female secretary.The president went on to say: "Don't be embarrassed, what I said just now is to make you happy; from now on, I hope you will pay a little attention to the punctuation of official documents."

Although his approach to the female secretary was a bit obvious, the psychology he used was very ingenious.When we hear other people's praise for us, it is easier to accept it if we hear other unpleasant words. When a barber shaves someone's face, he first applies a layer of soapy water--a method McKinley used when he ran for president in 1856, using this principle. A leading member of the Republican Party racked his brains to write a speech which he felt he had done very well.He was very happy to read this speech aloud in front of McKinley-he thought it was his immortal work. Although this speech had merits, it was not perfect, and McKinley felt uncomfortable after hearing it. Inappropriate, if published, it may cause a storm of criticism.McKinley didn't want to disappoint his enthusiasm, but he couldn't help but say the word "no". Now, let's see how he handles the situation.

McKinley put it this way: "My friend, this is a rare and wonderful speech, and I don't believe anyone will write it better than you. On many occasions, this is indeed a speech. A very applicable speech, but if it is on a special occasion, is it also very applicable? From your standpoint, it is very appropriate and prudent; but I must consider the impact of the publication of this speech from the standpoint of the party.Now go home, write another article according to the points I have specifically raised, and send me a copy. " He did, and McKinney revised his second draft with blue pen, and the party member became the strongest campaigner in the campaign.

Here is the second most famous letter written by Lincoln.One of Lincoln's most famous letters, to Mrs Bixby, mourned the deaths of her five sons in battle.It may have taken five minutes for Lincoln to write that letter.However, when that letter was sold at public auction in 1926, it sold for twelve thousand dollars, more money than Lincoln could have saved in fifty years. This letter was written by Lincoln on April 26, 1863, during the darkest period of the Civil War.It was the eighteenth month then--Lincoln's generals, leading the Union armies to repeated defeats, all but useless, stupid human massacres.At that time, people were panicked, and the whole country was shocked. Thousands of soldiers fled the battle, and even the Republican members of the Senate also rebelled among themselves.More notably, they wanted to force Lincoln out of the White House.

Lincoln said: "We have now come to the brink of destruction - I seem to feel that God is against us, I see Not a glimmer of hope. ’” This letter was written during such a dark, chaotic time. The main purpose of citing this letter is to show how Lincoln managed to convert a stubborn general on whom the fate of the nation depended. This should be the sharpest and most impolite letter written by Lincoln since he became president.Still, you will notice that Lincoln praises General Hoag before pointing out his grave mistake. Yes, those were his grave mistakes, but Lincoln didn't phrase them that way.Lincoln wrote steadily, with conservative and diplomatic skills. He wrote: "Some things, I am not very satisfied with you." He used wit and diplomatic words.

Here is the letter to General Hogg: "I have appointed you Commander of Bottmac's army, of course, for all good reasons I have. But I want you to know, too, that there are things which I am not entirely satisfied with you. I trust you I am a wise and capable soldier, of course, this is what I am gratified for. At the same time, I also believe that you are not mixing politics with your duties. You are right in this regard. You have a strong sense of yourself. Faith in God—that is a worthy and precious virtue. You are very ambitious, and that, to a certain extent, is beneficial rather than harmful.But when General Bornscheid was leading the army, you let your ambition go and thwarted him.In this one you have made a great mistake against your country, and against a most meritorious and honorable fellow officer.

I have heard, and heard it lead me to believe, that you say that the army and government need a dictatorial leader.Of course, it is not for this reason that I give you command of the army.At the same time, I didn't think about those. Only generals who win the war are eligible to be dictators.At present, what I expect from you is military victory.At that time, I will take the risk and grant you dictatorship. The government will do what it can to sponsor you, just as it sponsors other generals.I am deeply afraid that the distrust of your superiors that you have instilled in the army and officers will fall on you, so I am willing to do my best to help you and calm your dangerous thoughts.

If this kind of thinking exists in the army, even if Napoleon is still alive in this world, what can he get from the army?Now do not advance rashly, nor is there too much haste, but be cautious and sleepless for our victory. " You are not Coolidge, you are not McKinley, and you are not Lincoln. You want to know whether this philosophy is really useful to you in daily business?We now take the example of Mr. Cave of the Walker Company of Philadelphia.Mr. Kavu is an ordinary man like you and me, and he was a student in a workshop I gave in Philadelphia.Here's a story he told a workshop.

The Walker Company contracted to build an office building in Philadelphia, and specified that it must be completed by a certain day.The project, everything is going very well, and the building is almost complete.Suddenly, the businessman who contracted the copper decoration outside said that he could not deliver the goods as scheduled.what!The whole construction work has to come to a standstill!Failure to complete the work on schedule will result in a huge fine!A heavy loss - just for the businessman who contracted the copperwork decoration. Long-distance calls and heated arguments were of no use, so Kavu was sent to New York to meet the man face-to-face.

Cave walked into the manager's office, and the first thing he said was: "You should know that your name is unique in Brooklyn?" The manager was surprised and surprised when he heard this. , he shook his head and said, "No, I don't know." "I got off the train this morning, looked in the phone book for your address, and realized you were the only person in Brooklyn with that name," Kavu said. The manager said, "I've never paid attention to it." So he took the phone book to check it with great interest, and it turned out to be not bad at all.The manager said proudly, "Yes, this is an uncommon name. My ancestors were originally from the Netherlands and have been in New York for two hundred years." Then he talked about his ancestors and family background.

Seeing that he finished talking about the matter, Kawu found another topic and praised him for owning such a large-scale factory.Cave said: This is the most neat and complete copper factory I have ever seen. " The manager said, "Yes, I have spent my whole life running this factory, and I am very proud. Would you like to visit my factory?" During the visit, Kawu repeatedly praised the organizational system of this factory, and pointed out that it was better than other factories in that respect, and also praised several special machines.The manager told Kavu that those machines were his own inventions.He spent a long time explaining how to use this type of machine and its special functions.He insists on taking Kavu to lunch!You have to remember that, until now, Kawu has not said a word about his purpose for coming this time. After lunch, the manager said, "Now, let's get down to business. Of course, I know what you are here for. But I didn't expect that after we met, we would have such a good talk." With a smile on his face, he continued, "You can start Back in Philadelphia, I guarantee that your order will be delivered to you on time, even if it sacrifices other businesses, I am willing." Kawu didn't have any requirements, but his goal was achieved smoothly.All those materials arrived on schedule, and the building was completed on schedule without any impact.Then again, if Kawu had used the method of fierce debate, would there have been such a satisfactory result?Therefore, to change a person's will without embarrassing or disgusting the other person, the first rule is: Start with compliments and genuine appreciation.