Chapter 20 Chapter 8 A Formula That Works Miracles

We must remember that when the other party does not admit that there is a mistake, don't reprimand him for being wrong.In this case, maybe only a stupid person will blame others, but a smart person will never do this. He will try to understand the other party and forgive the other party. There must be a reason why this person has such thoughts and actions.When we find out the hidden reason, we can have a clear understanding of his actions and personality. You put yourself in his situation and you say to yourself, "If I were in his trouble, how would I feel and how would I react?" You can save a lot of time and trouble by thinking this way.Since you already know the cause, you will not hate the effect.In addition, you can add many human relationship skills.

Goode said in his book "How to Turn People into Gold": "Stop for a minute... and compare the level of concern you have with your own affairs with the indifference and calmness you have for others. Then you will know that the rest of the world is like this. Then you can grasp the solid foundations of any career, like Lincoln and Roosevelt. That is, dealing with human success and understanding other people's perspectives by empathy .” For many years I have spent most of my time walking and riding in a park not far from my home.Therefore, I gradually developed a love for the trees. When I heard the news of the burning of the forest, I felt very sad.these fires

, not from the carelessness of careless smokers, but mostly from children coming to the woods to light a picnic fire.Sometimes the woods catch fire and burn so badly that it takes the fire brigade to put it out. On the edge of the park, there is a bulletin board that reads: Anyone who starts a forest fire will be fined or imprisoned.But that bulletin board is standing in a very remote place, few people will see it.There is a policeman on horseback who seems to be in charge of the park, and because he doesn't take his duties seriously, fires often start in the park. Once, I hurried to the police and told him that a fire was spreading rapidly and asked him to notify the fire brigade immediately.But

His reaction was extremely cold.He said that was not his business, because it was not his district.Since then, whenever I rode a horse to the park, I performed the task of protecting the public property myself. At first, I never thought about the children's point of view, and when I saw them making a picnic with a fire under the trees, I was so upset that I immediately wanted to do something about it.Actually, I did it wrong!Immediately I rode to the children's place and told them that if a fire was lit under a tree, they would be detained and locked up. In a serious tone, I asked them to put out the fire.I also told them that if they didn't listen, I'd take them away right away--that was just venting my emotions and not thinking of their opinions.

What was the result? Although the children complied, they were not convinced. When I rode away, they started a fire again, and even wanted to burn the whole park down. A few years later, I began to feel that I should learn more skills in dealing with people, learn all kinds of skills in getting along with people, and often look at things from the perspective of others.So, I no longer order others.If I were in the park a few years from now and saw children playing with fire, I would say this: "Children, are you having a good time? What are you going to cook for dinner? When I was young, I also liked to have a picnic with a fire. Now I think it is quite interesting. But you must know that it is very interesting to have a fire in the park." Dangerous, but I know you're good boys and won't cause any trouble.

But other children, I believe they will not be as careful as you.When they saw you playing with the fire, they also started to play with the fire. They didn't extinguish the fire when they went home, so they easily burned the dry leaves, and even the tree was burned.If we are not careful and take good care of the trees, there will be no trees in this park. Do you know that playing with fire in parks is forbidden and you will be jailed.But I'm not interfering in your game, I hope you have a great time.But you'd better keep the fire away from dry leaves, and don't forget to cover the fire with some earth when you get home.If you want to play next time, I suggest you go over there and start a fire in the sand, okay?There will be no danger there, children, thank you, I hope you have a good time. "

If I say those words, I believe there will be amazing results, and those children will be very happy to cooperate with me.They don't resent, they don't complain, they don't feel compelled to obey orders.They saved their face.They were satisfied then, and so was I, because I took their point of view into account and dealt with the matter. When we want someone to accomplish something, we might as well close our eyes and think about it for a while... Think about the whole situation from the other person's starting point!Then ask yourself, "Why is he doing this?" Yes, it is troublesome and time-consuming.However, doing so will gain more friendship and reduce the friction and unpleasant atmosphere that should have been.

Tauheim, Dean of Harvard Business School, said: "When I have a meeting with a person, I am willing to walk for two hours in the corridor outside the person's office...that is, I want to think about what I have said. more organized, and I imagine for him how he would He's answer... I will not rush into his office rashly. " After you read this book, you will be able to increase your tendency, that is, when you come into contact with everything, you will always consider others.And look at it from the other side's point of view.Although this is all you get from this book, it will affect your lifelong career achievements.

So, if you want to get people to agree with you, the eighth rule is: To sincerely see things from another person's point of view.