Chapter 7 Six Ways to Make People Like You Chapter 2 If you do this, you will be popular everywhere

Why read this book to learn how to get friends?Why not learn this trick from the world's most friendly animal?Who is he?You can see him in the street tomorrow.When you come within ten feet or so of him, he will wag his tail.If you stop and pat him gently, he will jump up for joy and tell you how much he likes you.And you also know that after he expressed such intimacy, he has no other intentions. He is not planning to sell you a piece of land, and he is not planning to marry you. Have you ever thought that dogs are the only animals that don't need to work for their own lives?The hen has to lay her eggs... the cow has to give her milk... the canary has to sing.But a dog does not need to give anything to maintain its life, all it has is "love".

When I was five years old, my father bought me a yellow-haired puppy for fifty cents.It brought me the light and joy of childhood.Every afternoon at around 4:30, it sits in front of the courtyard and looks at the path ahead with its pair of beautiful eyes. When it hears my voice or sees me turning the lunch box through the bushes At that time, he rushed up the hill like an arrow, jumping and shouting happily to welcome me. Dibbe was my good friend for five years... On a tragic night that neither I nor Shui will ever forget, Dibbe was struck by lightning just ten feet away from me.Dibe's death was a tragedy in my childhood!

Diba, you never read psychology, and you don't need to.Because of your wisdom, you know that if a person sincerely cares about others, he will make more friends in two months than if he makes others interested in you in two years.Let me say it again.... If you are always caring and interested in people, you will make more friends in two months than if you just want people to care about you and be interested in you in two years Make more friends However, you and I both know that someone's lifelong mistake is to only want others to care about him and be interested in him. Of course, none of this comes to fruition. Not only are people not interested in you or me, they are not interested in anyone else. Morning, noon, and evening, all they care about is themselves.

The New York Telephone Company once conducted a survey to study what word is most commonly used on the phone. You may have guessed the answer correctly, that is "I" in personal pronouns. "I"...... In 500 telephone conversations, 3,990 "I" words were used. "I", "I", "I"... When you see a group photo of you, who do you look at first? If you think people care about you and are interested in you, please answer this question... If you died tonight, how many people would attend your funeral? Unless you care about others first, why do others become interested in you and care about you?Take out your pen and write down the following:

If we're just trying to get attention, to get people interested in us, we're far from going to have many genuine friends... Friends, real friends, that's not how it's made. Napoleon once tried this. When he and Josephine met for the last time, he said: "Josephine, I was the luckiest person in the world, but at this time, you are the only person in the world I trust. "In the eyes of historians, it is still doubtful whether Napoleon really trusted Josephine! "Adlo", a famous psychologist in Vienna, wrote a book called "The Meaning of Life to You".In that book he said: "A man who has no concern for others, who is not interested in others, will meet great hindrances, difficulties in his life, and at the same time cause great damage, distress to others, and all human failures , all happened because of these people.”

Maybe you have read many esoteric psychological books, but you haven't realized that there is such an important sentence... I don't like to repeat it again, but Adello's words are too meaningful, so I will repeat them below: A person who does not care about others and is not interested in others will encounter great obstacles and difficulties in his life, and at the same time will bring great damage and trouble to others. All human failures are due to these people. . I once took a course in short story writing at New York University. During this period, an editor of a famous magazine gave us a lecture.He said that he can pick up any of the dozens of novels on the table every day, and after reading a few paragraphs, he can detect whether the author likes others... If the author does not like others, then neither will others I like his work.

The worldly editor paused twice during his speech to apologize for moving away from the subject.He said: "What I'm going to tell you now is the same as what you listen to the pastor, but don't forget that if you want to be a successful novelist, you must first be interested in other people." If this is the secret of writing novels, it applies to dealing with people", and you can be sure that it should be more so. Seston was a successful magician. When he was performing on Broadway, I visited him in his dressing room and we sat down for an evening.In the past 40 years, Seston has traveled all over the world. His amazing magic skills have swept countless audiences. More than 60 million audiences have seen his performances, and he has an income of 2 million yuan.

I asked Mr. Seston to talk about the secret of his success. He told a piece of past history...,...: His school education has nothing to do with his immediate success. He ran away from home at an early age and became a wandering Homeless people stole trains, slept on haystacks overnight, and begged from house to house.Watching the advertisements on both sides of the railway through the car window allowed him to recognize a few words. Does he have a superior knowledge of magic?No! That's what he said to me himself.Hundreds of books have been published on magic.At present, in terms of magic, there are dozens of people who are as accomplished as him.But he has two things that no one else has:

He has the personality of acting, he understands human feelings.Every movement, posture, and tone of his speech have been strictly previewed in advance. He behaves agilely, responds flexibly, and does not miss a second. Besides that, Seston had a genuine interest in people, and he told me that many conjurers, looking at the audience, said to himself: These idiots, bumpkins, I'm going to play tricks on them. But Seston is not like that at all. He told me that every time he takes the stage, he must first say to himself: "I want to thank these audiences who support me. They make me have a comfortable life. I want to give my best. Strength, do this show well."

He said that whenever he walked to the stage, he would say to himself: "I love my audience, I love my audience." Ridiculous?Unreasonable?You can think what you want, I just put the skills of the most famous magician, the way of life Coincidentally, it is provided for your reference without comment. Sumen.Mrs. Henk told me the same thing.Regardless of her poverty, she held back her sadness. Her life was full of tragedies. Once, she even wanted to commit suicide with her child in her arms... Although she encountered such a harsh environment, she still sang her favorite song , continued to sing, and finally became a sensational singer of the "Gurner style". She admits that the secret of her success is her deep interest in "people".

The old President Roosevelt had amazing achievements and was welcomed by people, which is also one of the secrets of his success.Even his servants respect and love him.His black squire, Emers, once wrote a book about him, titled "Sidore Roosevelt Follow the hero in your heart", in that book, Emers tells a touching story: Once my wife asked the President what a bob quil bird looks like.Because she had never seen a quail bird, and President Roosevelt told her in detail.Some time later the phone rang at my house—Emers and his wife lived in a small house in President Roosevelt’s Oyster Bay residence—and my wife answered; it was the President himself.President Roosevelt told her on the phone that there was a quail bird outside the window, and if she looked out the window, she could see it. Such concern for a small matter is one of the characteristics of President Roosevelt.Whenever he passed outside our house...and sometimes didn't see us, we could still hear "Hi...Emers!", "Hi...Annie!" How can such a master not be loved by the servants?Who can not like him? One day Roosevelt went into the White House to meet President Taft, just as President Taft was out with his wife.Old Roosevelt sincerely liked those underlings. He greeted all the former servants in the White House, even the maids who did chores, by name. "Archer Bade" once had such a record: "When he saw Alice, the maid in the kitchen, he asked her if she was still making Yushucheng bread. Alice told him that sometimes that kind of bread was made for the servants to eat, and upstairs they I didn't eat it all. After hearing this, Roosevelt said loudly: "It's because they have no luck. When I saw the president, I told him about it." . Alice gave Roosevelt a piece of Yushu season bread; he walked to the office while eating, passing the gardeners and workers, greeting each of them..." Roosevelt greeted and talked with each of them kindly, just like he did when he was president... An old servant said with tears in his eyes: This is the happiest day I have been in these years. Among us, is If someone brings a hundred yuan, I will not change it. " Dr. Elijah, the president of Harvard University, has a deep concern and interest in other people's problems, so he will be loved by every teacher and student in the school.Here is an example of how Dr. Elijah behaves: One day, a first-year college student "Clayton" went to the principal's office to spend fifty yuan on the "poor student loan".Then that Clayton said: "After I got the money, I was very grateful. When I was about to leave the office, Principal Elijah stopped me and said, "Please sit down for a while... I heard that you are in the dormitory and cook with your own hands. If you can eat well Appropriate, adequate, I don't think that's bad for you, I used to do that when I was in college... I was surprised to hear that, and he went on to say:, Have you ever cooked meat Cake, if it is rotten and cooked, it is a very delicious dish, and I liked to eat this dish in the past... He also explained the method of meat pie in detail." This is what I have learned from my own experience that if we genuinely care about others, we can gain the attention and cooperation of the busiest people in America!Let me give such an example: A few years ago, I held a course on novel writing at the White Rock Linz Academy of Arts and Sciences. We hoped that famous writers at that time, Norris, Hested, Taber, Xu Shi, etc., would come to our class and tell about their novels. writing experience.So we wrote a letter to each of them, saying that we appreciate their works very much, so we hope they can spare some news, come to our class once, and talk about their writing experience and secrets of success. Each letter is signed by 150 students.We also said this in the letter... We knew that they must be very busy and had no time to speak, so we attached a question form requesting explanations to each letter, and asked them to fill in their writing methods, etc. After the entry, send this form to us.They love such a letter.So they all came all the way from their homes to Berkshire to help us with this problem. Using the same method, we have invited the Secretary of the Treasury under President Roosevelt, the Attorney General under President Taft, and many other celebrities to give speeches in my speech class. All men, whether he be a butcher, a baker, or a king on his throne, like someone who honors him.Kaiser Wilhelm has such an example.After the end of the First World War, people all over the world identified William as the culprit of the war. After he fled to the Netherlands, even the Germans refused to talk to him.There are more than millions of people who hate him, and some even want to arrest him and tear him into pieces. In the midst of this raging public indignation, a little boy wrote a simple and sincere letter, full of sincerity and admiration, to Kaiser Wilhelm.After reading this letter, the Kaiser was greatly moved and invited the little boy to see him.The little boy did come, accompanied by his mother.Later the Kaiser married the child's mother.The little boy didn't need to read books on how to make friends or how to influence people, he already knew how to do it by nature. If we want to make friends, we should first come out and do something for others—something that takes time, energy, justice, compassion.When Duke Edward was the crown prince, he had a plan to travel around South America. Before he set off, he spent a period of time studying the Spanish language so that he could talk directly to people from various countries in South America...so after he arrived in South America , is especially welcomed by the people there. Over the years, I have seriously inquired about my friends' birthdays...how did this matter work?Of course, I don't believe in the kind of opinions in "Astrology", but when I met my friends, I asked them if they believed that a person's birthday is related to each person's character and personality?Then I asked him to tell me his date of birth.If he said that he was born on November 24th, I will firmly remember this date myself.When he turned around, I quietly wrote down my name and birthday, and wrote it down in a "birthday book" when I got home. At the beginning of each year, I write these birthdays on the calendar on my desk, and when someone’s birthday comes, I send him a congratulatory letter or telegram.How happy that person is when he receives a congratulatory letter or telegram... :.Apart from his relatives, I am the only friend in the world who knows his birthday. If we want to make friends, we must welcome them with all our sincerity.When someone calls you, you should feel the same way, and add "Hello!" in a very welcoming tone. The New York Telephone Company holds a training class to train operators...  : When the inquirer asks "what's the number", you should add "I am happy to serve you".We should also keep this in mind when we receive calls in the future. Is this philosophical application effective in business?I could give many examples, but I don't want to waste too much time, so I will just give two examples... Charles.Walter was working at a highly respected bank in New York City, and he was assigned to investigate a secret report on the business of a company.Walter knew the manager of an industrial company who knew the situation best and could provide the information he needed, so Walter called on that manager.Just as Walt was ushered into the manager's office, a young woman poked her head in and told the manager that she had no good stamps for him that day. After the manager nodded to the girl, he explained to Walter, "I'm collecting stamps for my twelve-year-old kid." Walter sat down to explain his purpose, and immediately asked his questions.But the manager was vague, generalized, and dealt with it for a while. Obviously, he didn't want to say it.In all his efforts Walter could not get him to talk, and the conversation was short and dry and lacked the gist. Walter, who was also a student in my workshop, said, "Honestly, I don't know what to do... Then, I suddenly remembered what his secretary told him, stamps, twelve-year-olds My child, at the same time, I also thought that the foreign exchange department of our bank often communicates with all over the world, and there are many foreign stamps that are rarely seen at ordinary times, and now they can be distributed for use. In the afternoon of the next day, I went to visit the manager again, and at the same time sent a message that I had a lot of stamps and brought them specially for his son... Do you think I was warmly welcomed?That was a matter of course, he squeezed my hand tightly, his face was full of joyful smile.He looked at the stamps and said repeatedly: "My Qiao Qi must like this one...well, this one is better, it's rare to see." We talked about stamps for half an hour, and looked at pictures of his son... and then, I didn't need to say anything more.It took him more than an hour to provide all the information I needed.After he finished what he knew, he called the staff of the company to ask, and then made a few phone calls to ask his friends... and also pointed out the various reports and letters on the company's property status, so that I got a great harvest. Here is another example. Knaf is a salesman in a coal factory in Philadelphia. For many years, he has been trying to sell the coal in the factory to an affiliated department store, but that company has never bought his coal, and still buys from a coal company in the suburbs.What made him unable to hold back his anger was that every time he transported coal, he happened to pass by the door of his office.For this matter, Knaf complained loudly in the workshop, scolding the affiliated department store, which is harmful to the country and society. He said this, but he was still unwilling...why couldn't he persuade that company to buy his coal? ． I persuaded him to try a different approach. This is how it happened. I divided the students in the workshop into two groups and held a debate. More benefits less." On my suggestion, Knaf joined the opposing group, and he agreed to defend the company.Then, I asked him to go directly to the person in charge of the company that did not buy his coal. When Knaf saw the person in charge, he said to him, "I'm not here to ask you to buy my coal. I have one thing I want to ask you for..." After he finished his explanation, he went on to say : "Because I can't find anyone other than you who can provide me with this information... I really want to win the debate, and I hope you can provide more relevant information." Here is Knaf's own account of the situation: I asked the person in charge to give me a minute to talk, and after passing the word like this, he agreed to see me... After I explained my purpose, he asked me to sit down.We ended up talking for an hour and forty-seven minutes.He called another chain executive who had written a book about department store chains.He wrote to the National Association of Affiliated Department Stores and found for me quite a few records of the debate on the subject. He feels that his company has achieved the purpose of serving the society.He is proud of his work.As he talked, his eyes shone with enthusiasm.So as far as I am concerned, I have to admit that it opened my eyes, made me see things that I couldn't imagine in my dreams, and made me change my original thinking about him. When I was about to leave, he personally walked me to the door, put his hand on my shoulder, and wished me victory in the debate. Finally, he said to me: "At the end of spring, you come to see me again, and I am willing to order coal from your factory." It wouldn't be a miracle to me, I didn't mention it, I didn't beg him, but he wanted to buy my coal.Because of my real interest in him and his problems, I have made more progress in two hours than in ten years.The reason is that I used to only care about myself and my coal, but now I care about him and his immediate problems. What Knave discovered was not a new truth. A hundred years before the birth of Christ, a famous Roman poet "Siros" once said this: "When we want others to be interested in us, We have to be interested in other people first.” So if you want others to like you, the first rule you must follow is: Genuinely take an interest in others. If you want to develop a pleasing personality, personality, and a more effective skill in human relationships, I urge you to buy a copy of "Turning to Religion" by Dr. Link. ". Don't feel fear or disgust after reading the title of this book, it is not a preaching book. The author of this book is a famous psychologist. He once personally met and guided more than 3,000 people who thought they were depressed and asked him to answer questions about "personality and individuality". Dr. Link told me that his book could be renamed "How to Develop Your Personality" because the content of the book is to discuss this issue.I believe you will find this an interesting, concise, and original read.