Chapter 3 How to get the most out of this book

(1) If you want to get the most benefit from this book, there is a necessary condition, a basic condition that is more important than any rules or techniques.You must have this basic condition.Otherwise, no matter how much you study, it will not be of much use.With this gift of intellect, you can do wonders without looking at the advice that would benefit you most from the book. What is this wonderful condition?It's a deep, propelling desire to learn, a burning determination to increase your ability to deal with others. How do you trigger such an impulse?Remind yourself often and let yourself know how important these principles are to you.Picture this for yourself--if these principles are applied well, they will expose you to colorful environments; how can they be more helpful in financial rewards.You have to say to yourself again and again: "The reason why I am popular, the happiness I get, and the increase in my compensation income is because I know how to deal with others."

(2) Read each chapter quickly and get an idea. You may want to read the next chapter, but I hope you don't.Unless you're reading it just to pass the time -- if you're reading it to increase your interpersonal skills, it's time-saving and most effective if you read this chapter in detail way. (3) When you are reading, you might as well stop for a while and think about what you read?You ask yourself this way - where When, where, and how you use each of the suggestions in the book. (4) While reading this book, hold a red ink pen, or a red ballpoint pen in your hand—whenever you come across a suggestion that you think you can apply, draw a line next to the list of words.If you see a great suggestion, put a column of "XXXXX" symbols next to those sentences.If there are underlines and symbols like this in this book, it will not only make you more interesting, but also allow you to review quickly and effectively, and at the same time bring you greater benefits.

(5) I know a man who has been a manager of a very large insurance company for fifteen years.He reads the insurance policy issued by the company every month, and he reads the same insurance policy every month and every year.What is he doing it for?Because experience told him that was the only way to make him remember the terms of the insurance policy. At one point, I spent almost two years writing a book on oratory.I found that I had to reread the manuscript repeatedly in order to memorize the contents of the manuscript clearly. Therefore, if you want to gain real and lasting benefits from this book, you can't just read it once and think it's enough.After you have read this book in detail, you should set aside a certain amount of time each month to review it, and at the same time put it on your desk and read it from time to time.Don't forget that only long-term and in-depth review can make the application of these principles a habit.

(6) George Bernard Shaw once said: "If you teach a man something, he will never learn it." What Shaw said is right Learning is an automatic process. So, if you are going to use the principles studied in this book with ease, you should use them whenever you have the opportunity.If you don't do this, you will quickly forget what you read in the book-the reason is that the knowledge you have used will remain in your mind deeply. You may feel that it is difficult to find these principles to implement anytime and anywhere.Yes, I feel that way too, because at the time of writing this book I found it difficult to implement what I suggested.

I can find an example of this... When people make you unhappy, it is much easier to criticize and blame than to understand the other person's point of view.That is to say, it is much easier to find fault with others than it is for me to find praiseworthy things about them.It also seems much more natural to talk about your own needs than about the other person's needs.So when you read this book, don't forget that you not only want to acquire the knowledge in the book, but also develop your new habits.You are trying a new way of life, and it takes time, persistence, and daily implementation.

So you should read this book often, and regard this book as a practical manual on how to communicate between people.Whenever, if you have a particular problem - such as how to manage children ... how to get a wife to obey you ... .How to Satisfy an Angry Customer!These are some things that often come across. When you open this book and try to do one of the suggestions, you will find miraculous discoveries if you don’t want to go. (7) This may be a novel and outstanding attempt. When your wife, children, or colleagues find out that you have violated a certain principle, you might as well pay them a dime or a dollar as a fine for your own punishment.

(8) A manager of a highly reputable bank on Wall Street once gave a speech in my workshop and told how he achieved a very effective way to improve himself.The bank manager, with only a short formal schooling, is now one of the most respected financial managers in America.He believes that his achievements today are due to the method he conceived by himself, and the following is his approach.I will now tell you what the manager said at the time: Over the years, I have kept a date book where I keep track of all my appointments.My family never takes care of me on Sunday 6. Make an appointment; the reason is that they know that I will use some time on Saturday night to do self-reflection and inspiration.After dinner that night, I was alone in a room, looking through my appointment book, recalling the meetings, discussions, and gatherings that had passed through this week, and I asked myself:

"That time, I did something wrong. ． 』 "What is the right thing to do -- how can I improve myself? 』 "What did I learn from that experience? 』 I find it unpleasant to do this weekly introspection, but I'm often surprised by my own mistakes.After several years in this way, these errors gradually decreased, and finally no longer occurred.Now, after such self-reflection, I sometimes find comfort in myself. This method of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after year, has been more beneficial to me than any other method I have tried. This approach has helped me improve my decision making and has greatly benefited me in my dealings with people. "

Why not review your implementation of the principles in this book in a similar way to the bank manager?If you do this, there are two outcomes: First, you will find yourself engaging in an interesting and valuable educational lesson. Second, you will find that your ability to deal with people is gradually stretching and growing. (9) You might as well add a notebook... Record the results of your implementation of these principles in this notebook, write it clearly, and write down the date, effect, and the name of the other party.Using such a notebook can motivate you to work harder... These records are interesting and meaningful work.

In order for you to benefit more from this book, you must: 1. To develop a deep, forward, and comfortable application of the principles of human relations. 2. Before you read the next chapter, read this chapter carefully twice. 3. As you read, stop and ask yourself how you can implement each of the suggestions in this book. 4. Add some symbols next to the important words and sentences. 5. Review this book on a monthly basis. 6. Whenever you have the opportunity, implement these principles, and regard this book as a "useful manual" to help you solve your daily encounters The problem.

7. Whenever your friend discovers that you have violated one of these principles, give him a dime or a dollar.treat your learning as a fun game. 8. Review once a week.Jiao asked you what mistakes you have made, what areas need to be improved, and what to do in the future. 9. Add a notepad and write down when and how you apply these principles.