Chapter 13 Chapter 12 Body language: more personal than spoken language

A man who can speak uses more than his mouth.In daily life, we can often find that as soon as some people speak, others stop and listen; while when others speak, the audience still does their own thing, and often even interrupts his words.Of course, there are many complicated reasons for this situation, but one of the important reasons is that some people know how to use facial expressions, and use various parts of the body such as eyes, chest, and shoulders to match their eloquence to attract people. But some people don't understand.Just think about it, if a person only moves his mouth when he speaks, while other parts of his body are numb, will he be attractive to the audience?

From the moment you appear until you speak, you are speaking, but not with your mouth, but with other parts of your body.Every movement of your eyes, hands, feet, etc. can reflect an expression, and this expression can make people ready to listen to you, or make people not want to listen to you, and even make people feel disgusted with you . Therefore, before a speaker can speak, he must mobilize all parts of his body to convey his respect and affection to the audience, and hint the tone and importance of what he is going to say.This is a necessary prelude to a successful conversation.Even if he stands up suddenly during the conversation, or moves his seat closer to the other party, or makes an unusual gesture suddenly, as long as he is natural and decent, it will greatly help the effect of his speech.

Many people who participate in speech contests pay attention to the above methods.They pay great attention to practicing the posture of walking on stage, how to bow, and how to look at the audience, so as to make the audience interested in them and focus their attention on them.These actions of theirs generally succeed in paving the way for their language. 1. eyes The most important thing in language expression is the eyes.Hegel said in "Aesthetics": Not only the shape, face, posture and posture of the body, but also actions and deeds, language and sound, and their ever-changing changes in different living situations, all must be transformed into eyes by art. The inner limitless free mind can be recognized in the eyes.

The phrase "eyes are piercing" is used by people to describe a person who is energetic, alert and capable. From this sentence, we can find the connection between "eye" and "spirit".The brilliance that emerges from the eyes is called the eyes.Eyes are the most expressive non-verbal communication in interpersonal communication.Human eyes are expressed through the opening and closing of the eyes, the movement of the eyeballs, the contraction of the pupils, the changes of the line of sight and the cooperation of the eyebrows.There are many types of eyes, such as warm and friendly, affectionate, harsh, kind, kind, vicious, timid, firm, and contemptuous.

Eyes can convey a variety of information to the outside world.When expressing admiration, the eyes are expressive; when expressing provocation, the eyes are fixed; when expressing acceptance, the eyes are calm.Eyes can also convey rich content such as orders, requests, admonitions and comforts. Eyes, like a focusing mirror, condense a person's charm and temperament.Anyone who has listened to Premier Zhou's speech with his own ears has been attracted by his resolute and wise eyes, and has been inspired by it; anyone who has heard Chen Yi's speech with his own ears has been awed by his heroic and keen eyes, and has learned from it. Be encouraged.

Remember that our eyes are "speaking" all the time.Stare at each other for a moment, expressing frankness; staring at each other, expressing hostility; squinting and sweeping eyes, expressing contempt; staring squarely at each other, expressing orders; looking each other up and down constantly, expressing provocation; lowering eyebrows secretly, expressing embarrassment; paying attention salute, To express respect and concern; to give him a blank look, to express disgust; to open his eyes wide or look at each other, to express surprise; to blink continuously, to express doubts; to squint, to express happiness or contempt.As for expressing love with eyes, it is self-evident.Young men and women must look at each other when they are talking about love, and there are thousands of emotions in their eyes, so the psychologist Merribian said: The longer a person looks at someone, the more he likes this person.

2. Eyebrows The function of eyebrows is to protect the eyes, but it can also convey information about people's psychological behavior.When people's mood changes, the shape of eyebrows will also change accordingly.The movement of eyebrows generally has the following five manifestations. Raising eyebrows: When some kind of grievance is avenged, people often use the word "raised eyebrows" to describe the mood at this time.When the eyebrows are raised, they part outward slightly, causing the skin between the brows to stretch, flattening out short, vertical wrinkles, while the skin across the entire forehead is squeezed upwards, creating long horizontal lines.Raising your eyebrows can expand your field of vision.But at the same time, it must also be realized that a person with high eyebrows is just a person who wants to escape from the vulgar world. They usually think that this is an arrogance of showing off their loftiness, and they are called "high eyebrows".When a person raises both eyebrows, it means that he is very happy or extremely surprised, and when a single eyebrow is raised, it means that he does not understand or has doubts about what others are saying or doing.When we face some fearful event, we can frown to protect our eyes, or raise our eyebrows to expand our vision. Both are beneficial to us, but we can only choose one.The usual response is to frown to protect the eyes, sacrificing the benefit of expanded vision, when threatened;

Frowning: There are two types of frowning: defensive and aggressive.A protective frown just protects the eyes from external damage.But frowning is not enough, the cheeks under the eyes need to be squeezed up, the eyes are still open to pay attention to the outside world.This form of squeezing up and down is a typical avoidance response when facing external attacks, sudden exposure to strong light, and strong emotional reactions.As for the aggressive frown, the basic point is still defensive, it is worried that one's aggressive emotions will arouse the opponent's counterattack, which is related to self-defense.A truly aggressive look should be staring straight in the eye without frowning.The most common frown is easily interpreted as boredom, disgust, disagreement, etc.

Shrugging: Shrugging refers to raising the eyebrows first, staying for a while, and then lowering them.The difference between shrugging eyebrows and flickering eyebrows is in that moment.The eyebrow shrug is often accompanied by a quick and brief twitch of the mouth, with no movement in the rest of the face.The mouth shape moved by shrugging eyebrows is sad, sometimes it expresses an unpleasant surprise, sometimes it expresses a look of helplessness, in addition, when people are talking enthusiastically, they will do some small movements to emphasize what he said If so, when he talked about the important point, he would keep frowning.

Slanted pick: Slanted pick means that one of the two eyebrows is lowered downwards and the other is raised upwards. This silent language is often seen on the faces of adult men.The message conveyed by slanted eyebrows is between raising eyebrows and frowning, with half of the face showing agitation and half of the face showing fear.The raised eyebrow is like a question mark, reflecting the skeptical psychology of the person with slanted eyebrows. Flashing: Eyebrows flashing means that the eyebrows rise first and then fall again in an instant, like a shooting star across the sky, with quick movements.The flickering of eyebrows is a common welcome signal for human beings, and it is a kind of friendly behavior.This is the gesture that occurs when two long-lost old friends meet, and it is accompanied by a nod and a smile.But it rarely occurs during close contact such as handshakes, kisses and hugs.In addition to being a signal of welcome, eyebrow flashing can signal reinforcement if it occurs in a conversation.Whenever the speaker wants to emphasize a certain word, the eyebrows will naturally raise and then fall down instantly.

3. Mouth The mouth itself is an organ that transmits vocal language, but it also transmits a silent language.why?Because the mouth is the busiest part of the human body-laughing, crying, biting, licking, kissing, eating, sucking, tasting, chewing, swallowing, coughing, talking, roaring, smoking and other actions are all done by the mouth.Human survival needs to deliver food through the mouth, and communication needs the mouth to speak.At the same time, the mouth is also the most expressive part of the face - open and close, forward and backward, up and down, and tighten and relax. These four basic ways can form complex and diverse mouth movements. Every move of a person's mouth can clearly express a person's attitude.There are several situations for the changes of a person’s lips: a person who opens his mouth but cannot close it is a weak-willed person; a person who speaks articulately and speaks clearly has a good eloquence; when a person’s lips are pursed forward, It may be a manifestation of defensive psychology; when people pay attention to the words, the two ends of the lips will be slightly pulled back; the corners of the mouth are upturned, this kind of person is open-minded, easy-going, easy to talk and easy to persuade; Careful work, very suspicious, easy to close oneself, not easy to trust others; people with high chin, proud personality, sense of superiority, strong self-esteem, when looking at you, often with negative or hostile eyes; biting when speaking or obedient Lips, indicating that he is condemning himself, mocking himself, or even reflecting on himself; slurred, slow-spoken, but firm-minded, with extraordinary insights, this person must be outstanding; covering his mouth with his hands when speaking, his personality is more introverted and reserved, Don't dare to expose yourself too much, there is another situation, which means that the other party is wary, or is doing some kind of self-disguise; the person who purses his mouth into a "one" shape at the critical moment has a strong personality, and he must be sure of the tasks entrusted to him. It can be done, no matter what the cost. 4. Nose When the nose is slightly swollen during a conversation, it usually expresses satisfaction or dissatisfaction, or emotional suppression.When beads of sweat emerge from the nose, it means that you are anxious or nervous; if the other party is an important counterparty, you must be eager to reach an agreement.The shape of the nose is like an eagle beak, and the tip hangs down into a hook shape, which is sinister and fierce. People with eagle noses and deep eyes are greedy and dissatisfied by nature.The color of the nose is completely white, which shows that the other party's mood must be timid.The nostrils are facing each other, which means to despise each other and despise others.A person with a strong nose has a strong personality, and he must do what he decides.Rubbing his nose and meditating means that the other party is thinking and hopes to find an expedient solution to the immediate problem. A scholar who studies body language, in order to clarify the "expression" of the "nose", made a trip to observe the "nose language".He went to the station to observe, to the pier to observe, to the airport to observe.He traveled for a week and observed for a week.Two conclusions can be drawn from this: First, the journey is the most abundant expression area of ​​body language.Because people from various regions, ages, genders, and personalities gather together, and they are all strangers, there is little verbal communication, but there are many psychological activities, so a lot of mentality is revealed in body language.He said: "Journey is a laboratory of body language." Second, the human nose can move.Therefore, the nose is the organ with silent speech.He said that according to his observations, when there are peculiar smells and fragrances, the nostrils will obviously stretch and contract. In severe cases, the whole nostrils will vibrate slightly, followed by "sneezing".He believes that these "actions" are all sending out information.In addition, according to his observation, people with Van Gogh's bridge of nose more or less have a certain sense of superiority, showing an arrogant attitude of "straightening the bridge of the nose".On this point, some female stars in the film and television industry are most obvious.On the road, he said, it was harder to deal with people with such "high noses" than with people with low nose bridges.His travel observations may be a big contribution to body language. 5. smile Smile is an expression that everyone can show countless times.There are many types of laughter: for example, the "laugh" in Yue Fei's "Man Jianghong" in "Laughing and Talking about Thirsting to Drink the Blood of the Huns" is a heroic, fighting smile; The "smile" of "is a smile full of confidence and victory; for example, the "smile" of "asking the guest where he came from with a smile" in He Zhizhang's "Homecoming Puppet Book" is a polite and civilized smile; The "smile" in "She laughs in the bushes" in "Bu Suanzi Yongmei" by the chairman is a modest and noble smile; it is like the "smile" in Lu Xun's novel "Only when Kong Yiji comes to the store can he laugh a few times" , is a teasing laugh, a lively laugh. Among all kinds of smiles, the most touching one is the smile. A man named William Steinha said when talking about his communication experience: "I am a sullen person. In the 18 years of marriage, I seldom smile at my wife. Later, someone encouraged me to smile, and I promised to try. So, when I woke up early the next day, when I greeted my wife: 'Good morning, dear.' and smiled at her, she was stunned and surprised. I said, 'From now on my smile will be a common Don't be surprised.' As a result, it changed my life. Instead of being depressed in the past, I got happiness and warmth at home. Now, I smile at everyone, and they smile back at me. I can bring Talk to some disgruntled people with a relaxed and happy mood, smile and listen respectfully. The original difficult problems are now easy to solve. This is the convenience and more income brought to me by smiling. Smiling makes me happy, rich, have friendship and happiness. People who don't smile will find difficulties and inconveniences everywhere in life." The famous Japanese film actress Momoe Yamaguchi left a deep impression on audiences all over the world. Many fans still miss her and long for her comeback even after she ceased acting for many years.Momoe Yamaguchi's ability to make the audience love her so much is of course inseparable from her excellent acting skills, but it cannot be denied that her innocence, cute and moving smile and the unique charm of the two canine teeth when she smiles have attracted many audiences. Obsessed with her performance. A smile should come from the bottom of your heart, enough to warm someone's heart and melt ice and snow.A smile without sincerity will not only fail to impress people, but will be annoying.Among people of equal intelligence, the more smiles you have, the more likely success will be yours. Body language is a silent language, a language that expresses a person's emotions and personality desires better than vocal language.American psychologist Edward Cole said in his book "Body Language": Body language shows much more meaning than vocal language, and it is much deeper. Body language occupies a large proportion of the verbal information sent by human beings.Body language has richer connotations than vocal language, and is more variable, multi-meaning and associative.The symbols of body language are like a colorful picture. It is often said that every man has an image of Lin Daiyu in his heart, and every woman has an image of Hamlet in his heart.That is to say, when everyone comes into contact with artistic symbols, they rely on their own life experience to supplement, perfect and create a new image.To date, scholars have discovered and recorded 2 million nonverbal messages.Morabin found that the communication of a message is composed of 7% verbal, 38% vocal and 55% nonverbal.Davis also reached a similar conclusion in the article "How to Identify Body Language": the total effect of information = 7% text + 38% voice + 55% facial expression.Therefore, British scholar Morris believes that "human beings are still 'animal creatures' from the inside out—a primate that expresses and communicates through movements, gestures, and actions." Understanding people's thoughts and feelings from the movements of each part of the other's body is a skill to understand and master the essentials of speaking.Such as: sitting upright means respectful, dancing with hands and feet means joy, raising arms and head up means impassioned, nodding and bowing means flattery.It can be said that there is no one who does not use actions.At the same time, movement is also a need to adjust the balance of the body, and it also strengthens you to express your emotions here and now.For example, when a child makes a mistake, the mother often puts her arms around the child while reasoning.This action fully embodies the sincerity of maternal love, which makes it easier to influence the hearts of children. Body language has various manifestations, which are relatively complex and subtle, but in any case, unnatural movements are stupid movements.Many years ago, the New York City City Hall invited Regal to give a speech at a rally.Beforehand, Minwell, a local secretary who is not good at words and pays attention to body expressions, made the opening remarks.Minwell's stuttering made the audience's reaction less enthusiastic from the beginning.What was even worse was that Minwell began to panic. His legs kept changing positions, from separated to crossed, and even slightly facing each other with his toes, causing the women in the front row to burst into laughter. He quickly pulled out his hands and embraced Then, there was another commotion in the audience. As a result, this clumsy performance dampened the interest of the audience present. A good posture must first give people an impression of being full of energy. A hunchbacked appearance not only gives people a sense of depression, but also is not good for speaking.At present, Western scholars put forward the posture of the speaker, emphasizing that the head should be raised higher, the back straight, and the eyes fixed on the audience. This posture is not only full of vitality, but also makes your words authoritative, because this posture shows A kind of confidence and firmness.Of course, some people deliberately pretended to be depressed out of strategic needs, so as to dispel the other party's interest in being obedient.In some cases, this is also a trick.Darrow, a famous American lawyer, sometimes plays tricks when his opponent presents evidence to the jury. He shakes and shakes, and even makes the ash of the cigar in his hand gradually grow until people's eyes look at him, until the ash in his hand falls. , making the opponent speechless. Everyone has their own unique body language style when they speak, but there are three types, namely emotional, indicative and declarative.These three types of body language are coordinated and related to each other in the specific application. 1. Emotional type This is the body language that expresses the function of thoughts and feelings. It is divided into two types. The first one means that you are not welcome.For example, if two people are talking and you walk over and stand with them, if they just give you a flat look, it means that they are not interested in your presence, and you'd better leave.The second is the meaning of welcome.For example, if two people are sitting at a table, their postures are naturally symmetrical to each other, which shows that one of them is very interested in the other. In addition, sometimes several people are combined to form a circle of influence, but to the people in the circle, it is a whole.This shows that emotional body language has the characteristics of unity of opposites. 2. Schematic Body language is the language that can express meaning in words.For example, the posture of "please" when welcoming guests is typical.This body language is expressed in all parts of the body.For example, legs: you are waiting for someone at the bar, but no one comes after waiting for a long time. At this time, your legs start to shake, and you even have frequent foot stamping movements, and your head frequently twists towards the door, and your eyes flicker from time to time. Looking in the direction of the person passing by or looking at the watch, this series of gestures will expose your restless state of mind. There is also the waist, which can express a certain "humble" or "respectful" attitude.A person who often stands, walks or sits up straight indicates that he has strong self-confidence and self-control, and may also indicate that his personality is too rigid. There are quite a few other body languages.For example, if you straighten your chest and raise your arms behind your head, it means you are confident, sure or have a sense of superiority; if you straighten your abdomen, it is intended to expand your sphere of influence or deter the opponent.Conversely, the abdominal crouching shows restlessness, depression and depression. 3. Declarative This is the type of body language that supplements and explains the content of thought expressed in words.First, it helps to enhance the feedback effect.For example, when Americans talk, their heads move frequently.If he wants to wait for a reply, he always moves his head, and every time he finishes speaking, he also moves his head, which means that he has finished speaking and asks the other party to continue.If he continues speaking in a declarative tone, he doesn't move his head and keeps the same tone. Second, declarative body language helps reinforce semantics.For example, when a person speaks to a group of people, when he talks about something particularly important, he will stand up involuntarily, and even lean his upper body towards the audience, in order to emphasize the importance of what he said. Finally, declarative body language also helps to improve the audience's understanding, helps to maintain a smooth flow of speech, and helps to call attention to the audience.Therefore, the proper use of declarative body language is the skill of good talkers. Freud once said: No mortal can hide himself, if his lips are still and his fingers are tapping his knuckles, secrets will flow from every pore of him.This is not surprising, it is determined by the nature of body language itself. The characteristics of body language have the following three points. 1. Continuity As long as two people are together, whether you are sitting upright or dancing, you are sending information, and the whole process is continuous and inseparable.This is different from the "separation" that the process of language information exchange is over once the words are finished and the article is written. 2. Interactivity The transmission of language information only passes through one channel. For example, obedient words can only be listened to word for word, and there is also a sequence for reading articles.Body language information can interact with "multi-channels". For example, when a person is sitting and thinking about a problem, he rests his cheek with one hand, taps the table with the other hand, and overlaps his ankles are vivid examples. 3. Reliability People always manipulate verbal information consciously, which will inevitably produce false information. Most body language speaks in an unconscious state, so the information transmitted is more reliable. The reason why the silent films starred in by film performance master Chaplin in his early years are widely welcomed all over the world is precisely because of the cooperation of Chaplin's accurate and exaggerated body language.This coordination shows the power of body language. Body language conveys "silent communication" between people, and its functions have the following four points. 1. Alternate function "Book of Jin Ruan Ji Biography" records that Ruan Jishan, who was known as one of the "Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove" in the Wei and Jin Dynasties, had blue eyes.The so-called "green" means black. "Blue eyes" means that when a person is happy, the eyes look straight ahead, with the black pearl in the middle, which is relative to "white eyes" (the eyeballs are upward or sideways, showing white eyes).Ruan Ji often used "blue eyes" to express approval and joy; "white eyes" to express disgust and contempt.When he saw refined scholars, he had "blue eyes"; when he saw ordinary people, he gave them "white eyes".During Ruan Ji's funeral, Ji Xi went to offer his condolences, but he looked at him with cold eyes. Ji Xi was so embarrassed that he had no choice but to retreat.When Ji Xi's younger brother, Ji Kang, heard about it, he brought a big jug and a qin to mourn the funeral. Ruan Ji immediately cast his eyes on him and expressed his welcome.Words such as "favor" and "favor" that we often use today come from this.Psychologist Argyle believes that emotions such as recognition, love, provocation, rejection, provocation, superiority, submission, humility, satisfaction, compromise, fear, sadness, joy, pain, sorrow, etc., can usually be directly expressed by body language. express instead. 2. Exposure function Sometimes, the thoughts and feelings that are difficult to express in thousands of words, or the words from the bottom of my heart that cannot be said for a while, can be expressed subtly with body language, so that it is easy for the other party to understand. 3. Accessibility To speak vividly and powerfully in social situations, and to leave a deep impression on people, body language is indispensable.If the auxiliary means are used properly, it can strengthen the language power and achieve better information communication effect. 4. Adjustment function When someone visits you and you are busy, when the other party is still chatting, you will use body language such as looking at your watch or fidgeting to imply that the other party "stop talking nonsense and go away quickly".When the teacher can’t explain clearly, the students’ faces will show confusion, and some may shake their heads to show that they don’t understand. At this time, many teachers will understand the adjustment signals sent by the students to themselves in time, and quickly respond positively . The above four functions of body language reveal the significance of "silent communication" that cannot be underestimated.If a person can't correctly decipher body language and how to use it in interpersonal communication and communication, it can be said that the door to his success has not really been opened. The so-called acronym is to convey information through head movements.It includes nodding, shaking the head, tilting the head, raising the head, bowing the head, etc.The acronym mentioned here only refers to the information conveyed by the overall activities of the head, and does not include the information conveyed by the organs of the head. Nodding can express the following meanings: agreement, salutation, affirmation, recognition, agreement, thanks, promise, satisfaction, and can also express understanding, obedience and other emotions. Shaking the head expresses the following meanings: dissatisfaction, doubt, opposition, negation, rejection, disagreement, incomprehension, helplessness, etc. Tilting the head (sideways head) also has multiple meanings, which can express thinking and innocence.For example, when a child is listening to an adult or thinking about a problem, he likes to tilt his head and rest his cheeks. Head up can be used to express confidence, victory, defiant, proud and complacent, etc.The head is thrown back all the time, also expressing intoxication. The emotions expressed by bowing the head include: obedience, obedience, grievance, and other thoughts. In terms of the use of the first language, we should pay attention to the following principles. One is that the action should be obvious, especially when it performs a substitute function.If you are nodding or shaking your head, let the other party see clearly and understand correctly. The second is to pay attention to the use of other communicative languages.If you cooperate with "um" when nodding, there will be no misunderstanding.It can also be used in conjunction with other body language.There are many idioms that reflect this feature, such as "nodding and bowing", "strutting" and so on. The third is to pay attention to some cultural differences.For example, the Serbs in the former Yugoslavia expressed their agreement by stretching their heads forward, and the Turks expressed their negation by raising their heads. Especially some ethnic groups in Bulgaria and India, they nod to express negation and shake their heads to express affirmation, which is exactly the opposite of our habit. .This requires us to figure out their habits before interacting with these ethnic groups with cultural differences. The fourth is to pay attention to the natural coordination with the sound and language, and to make the movements obvious so that the other party can understand correctly. Fifth, the frequency of using the first language should not be too high. Although when listening to the other party, nodding or tilting the head appropriately will make the speaker feel that you are listening attentively, but too high frequency of use will affect the speaker's attention or attention. It feels like you're a little superficial. Sign language is a kind of body language with strong expressive force. It makes the thoughts and emotions to be expressed richer, more attractive and persuasive through the changes of hand and finger activities.For this reason, someone said: "Gestures are the second language of spoken language." Linguists believe that gesture is the earliest communication tool used in the evolution of human beings, and it preceded vocal language. Sign language was used in communication at that time with a high frequency and a wide range, which is unmatched today. As early as two thousand years ago, an ancient Roman statesman and rhetorician said: "All mental activities are accompanied by actions such as gesticulating. The expressive facial expressions of the eyes are especially rich, and the gestures are like a language of the human body. Even the most savage people can understand.” A professor of psychology who was teaching in China met a group of deaf-mute children by chance, and he was able to communicate with them smoothly using the sign language popular in Europe and America.Afterwards, the professor said humorously: "It is more convenient and less troublesome to communicate with gesture language than for people who do not understand English to use gestures." Sign language can make up for the lack of spoken language and facial expressions, and proper use of sign language can help express special emotions, but gestures must not be abused regardless of time, place, and occasion.Sign language should be graceful and generous, and the range, posture, and frequency of using sign language should be in harmony with spoken language and facial expressions.If you abuse sign language subconsciously, it will cause the other party to misinterpret your meaning, and even be regarded as lack of education and cause resentment. In our daily life, gesture language is used in a wide range and at a high frequency.For example: when we "take a taxi" on the street, the driver will know what you mean by waving your hand; Hands represent embarrassment; crossed hands represent self-confidence and a sense of superiority; spread hands represent frankness or helplessness. In Europe, it is customary for people to greet each other by "waving their hands" when they meet.The specific method is: extend the arm forward, palm outward, but the arm does not move, just swing up and down with the fingers.If Europeans move their entire hand back and forth, it means "no", "wrong", "disagree" or "no".Americans always wave their hands when greeting.And in many parts of the world, waving is a sign to let someone go.In Greece and Nigeria, waving your whole hand in front of others is considered extremely insulting, and the closer the distance, the more insulting it is.In Peru, moving the whole hand back and forth means "come here". It can be seen that sign language cannot be abused and must be properly used in a suitable context. Sign language is also a very expressive body language, and it is one of the powerful means of expressing emotions.In life, people often use gestures to enhance the emotional color of spoken language. For example, when people are happy, they often pat the table, beat their legs, touch their beards, and rub their eyes; when they are sad, they beat their chests; when they are embarrassed, they rub their hands; Touch your hair, give a thumbs up when you praise, and extend your little finger when you despise or look down on people.During the Second World War, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill raised his right hand and clenched his fist at the end of his televised speech, stretching out his index finger and middle finger to form a "V" shape to symbolize the initial letter of the English word "victory", which caused the audience to cheer .People still use it to express wishes and confidence. In people's daily conversations, the speaker's palms are stretched out, which means he is honest and straightforward; if he speaks while pointing his fingers at the other party, then he may be quite conceited; Playing on the table shows that he is nervous; if he clenches his fist with one hand and his arms are up during the conversation, as if he is swearing, then you have to be careful. Although he is pretending to be honest on the surface, he may be fighting what an idea. Handshake is the most common and widely used communication etiquette in people's daily life. When people meet each other, they shake hands when they say goodbye. This seemingly simple and commonly used movement, because of the subtle changes in the emotions to be expressed, also hides profound knowledge behind it. First of all, shake hands to pay attention to the minimum etiquette.When shaking hands, you must shake hands with your right hand, and hold each other's hand tightly. The time is generally 1 to 3 seconds.Of course, it's impolite to shake hands too tightly, or to casually touch someone's hand with only your fingers.After being introduced, it is best not to reach out immediately.When a young person or a person with a low position is introduced to an elder or a person with a high position, he should act according to the reaction of the elder or a person with a high position. Those who are lower should also nod accordingly.When shaking hands with young women or women from other countries, generally men should not reach out first.When shaking hands, young people should bow slightly to the elders, and those with low positions should shake hands with those with high positions.Sometimes in order to show special respect, you can greet with both hands. Secondly, the handshake must distinguish the object.When a man shakes hands with a woman, it is generally only appropriate to hold the woman's fingers lightly.Men should take off their hats when shaking hands, and avoid shaking hands with gloves.When shaking hands, keep your eyes on each other, smile or say hello, and shake hands with multiple people in sequence, and avoid cross-shaking.When shaking hands with foreign guests, you should take into account the other party's customs and habits, and at the same time be warm, friendly, generous, neither humble nor overbearing. Finally, the handshake must be measured.It is impolite to refuse the other party's offer to shake hands under any circumstances, but when there is water or unclean hands, you should refuse to shake hands, and you must explain and apologize.The strength of the handshake varies from person to person.When meeting for the first time, it is not advisable to shake hands with people who are not familiar with each other.If the two parties are acquaintances and meet occasionally, they can use appropriate force or prolong the time of holding each other; no matter whether they are familiar or not, it is not advisable to use too much force. There are many functions of shaking hands, such as expressing friendship, sincerity, best wishes, understanding, cooperation, expectation, encouragement, welcome, farewell, enthusiasm, full of confidence, reaching an agreement, eliminating misunderstandings, etc. Sitting posture language is a language that conveys information through various sitting postures.In ancient my country, it was very particular, the so-called "standing has a standing posture, and sitting has a sitting posture".A person's sitting posture is the embodiment of his self-cultivation and personality.A decent sitting posture can create a good image of the speaker, otherwise it will be offensive.From this point of view, it can also be said to be "sitting like a person". Sitting postures include sitting and sitting postures.Take your seat lightly and slowly, walk to the seat, turn around, and sit down quietly without making any loud noises.The lady should push the skirt forward with her hands.After sitting down, keep your upper body straight, keep your head upright, and look straight ahead or the person you are talking to.The back of the back is slightly leaned against the back of the chair. In formal occasions, or if there are venerables present, the seats cannot be filled, and generally only occupy 2/3 of the seats.Put the palms of both hands down on top of the legs. The legs are naturally bent, the calves are basically perpendicular to the ground, and the feet are flat on the ground. The distance between the knees is suitable for men to loosen one or two punches, and for women It is better not to loosen.非正式场合，允许坐定后双腿叠放或斜放，交叉叠放时，力求做到膝部以上并拢。 无论是哪一种坐姿，都要自然放松，面带微笑。在社交场合，不可仰头靠在座位背上或低着头注视地面；身体不可前俯后仰，或歪向一侧；双手不应有多余的动作；双腿不宜分开过大，也不要把小腿搁在大腿上，更不要把两腿直伸开去，或反复不断地抖动。这些都是缺乏教养和傲慢的表现。 在交流中，选用什么样的坐姿，受语境的限制，我们要根据场合选用适当的坐姿。运用正确得体的姿势语言可以配合有声语言更加有效、生动地传递信息，运用得好可以增强有声语言的表达效果，甚至在不便说、不愿说的情况下，巧妙运用体态语言可以收到无声胜有声的效果。 立姿也可以叫站姿，立姿语就是通过站立的姿态传递信息的语言。从一个人的站姿可以看出一个人的状态，有很多人站立时喜欢用一只腿做支撑，处于一种十分放松的状态，有的人喜欢倚靠在什么东西上，这些都不是可以在正式场合运用的站姿，让人感觉松懈、不礼貌。我们一定要注意挺身直立，脊背挺直，目光平视，表现出愉悦、自信的感觉。 站立是人们生活、工作及交往中最基本的举止之一。正确的站姿应是站得端正、稳重、自然、亲切。上身正直，头正目平，面带微笑，微收下颌，肩平胸挺，直腰收腹，两臂自然下垂，两腿相靠直立，两脚靠拢，脚尖呈“V”字形。女性两脚可并拢，肌肉略有收缩感。如果站立过久，可以将左脚或右脚交替后撤一步，但上身仍须挺直，伸出的脚不可伸得太远，双腿不可叉开过大，变换也不能过于频繁。站立时，如有全身不够端正、双脚叉开过大、双脚随意乱动、无精打采、自由散漫的姿势，都会被看做不雅或失礼。 可以把立姿分为庄重严肃型、恭谨谦虚型、傲慢自负型和无礼粗鄙型。在这四种不同的形态中，傲慢自负型（一般是双手交叉在胸前，两脚向外分开，斜倚式站着，目光睥睨）和无礼粗鄙型（通常表现为歪斜着身子，一腿在前，一腿在后，或交叠着双膝站着，抖动着脚尖），对于一个有教养、有身份、善于交际的人来讲，都是要尽量避免的。不管对方的态度如何，也不管交际是否顺利，都要注意自己的形象，不能失礼。 走姿语或者说是步姿语，就是通过行走的步态传递信息的语言。与坐姿语和立姿语不同，走姿语是动态的，所以要放到动态中来研究。 经理在礼堂作年终总结报告，宣布年终奖励名单，念到了一个职员的名字，这时，他从座位上走出到领到奖品，这个过程大概需要变化运用三种走姿，由最初的稳健自得型到自如轻松型，再到庄重礼仪型，正是这种走姿的变化，适应了交际需要，给人们留下良好的印象。 简要介绍一下上面提到的三种走姿的类型。所谓稳健自得型就是行走的时候，步履稳健，昂首挺胸，仰视阔步，步伐较缓，步幅较大。这种走姿的含义就是“愉快、自得、有骄傲感”。自如轻松型是指行走时心情轻松，步子的幅度适中，步速不紧不慢，上身直立，两眼平视，两手摆动自然。这种走姿的含义就是“自如轻松，比较平静”。再有庄重礼仪型是指行走的时候，上身挺直，步伐矫健，双膝弯曲度小，走姿幅度和速度都适中，步伐和手的摆动有强烈的节奏感，眼睛正视前方。这种走姿的含义就是“庄重、热情、有礼”。另外还要介绍一种沉思踱步型的走姿。行走的时候，步子速度时快时慢，快的时候，步子比较急促，慢的时候，低视地面，缓缓徐行，或者偶尔抬起头来看一下。 一般情况下，要求人们行走稳健自如，步子不可迈得太大，双臂的摆动要与脚步相协调。每一步都要抬起脚来，鞋子不要在地板上拖拖拉拉。女性的行姿要在稳重大方中略带矜持，切忌扭捏作态和矫揉造作。做到这些就是基本礼貌了。