Chapter 6 Chapter 5 Sincerity is the best way to socialize

Sincerity, as the name suggests, is true and sincere.When we get along with others and pursue success, good goals and principles should be for ourselves, others and society, all of which are beneficiaries.The essence of communication is giving and taking.If it belongs to spiritual giving, without sincerity, others cannot get your giving; if it is material giving, without sincerity, the other party can only regard it as a gift, and may have to accept it out of helplessness.There are many hypocrites in society.They see social skills as a means of defrauding each other and gaining personal gain.Those treacherous ministers in history were able to succeed in their shady deeds precisely because they were good at flattering horses and pretending to be honest and sincere.However, hypocrisy and pretense can never stand the test of time, and will be seen through sooner or later.Therefore, if a person has this kind of problem in speaking, he is doomed to failure.

It can be said that human nature is sincere, and falsehood is the distortion of human nature by society.Due to the difference between economic status and social status, some people aim to pursue fame and fortune. When the way to achieve this purpose is shown in social interaction, it creates falsehood.It will cause greater damage to the deceived party.For a person who puts his self-realization goals on money and power, hypocrisy is almost a chronic problem.A person who uses wealth and power as his social capital will never get sincere returns from others, and he will never be able to achieve ultimate success.Only by treating people with sincerity can we get corresponding returns.

A proverb says: "Sincerity is more expensive than jewels, and faithfulness is the treasure of the people." People who speak sincerely can gain the trust of others.Yan Shu, a poet in the Northern Song Dynasty, was known for his sincerity.When he was 14 years old, he took part in the palace examination, and Zhenzong asked him to do a question.After reading the test questions, Yan Shu said, "I did this question 10 days ago, and the draft is still there. Your Majesty, please come up with another question."During Yan Shu's tenure in the embassy, ​​during holidays, officials of all sizes in the capital often went out to eat, drink and have fun.Yan Shu was poor and had no money to go out to play, so he had to study and write articles at home with his brothers.One day, Zhenzong asked Yan Shu to be the official of the East Palace to assist the prince by name, and many ministers were puzzled.Shinzong explained: “Recently, the officials often go to dinner and banquets, and only Yan Shu and his brothers study behind closed doors. They are so self-respecting and cautious, and they are the right candidates for the East Palace.” The people who are at the banquet are just from poor families, if I had money, I would have already participated in the banquet.” After hearing this, Zhenzong admired his sincerity more and more, and trusted him even more.It can be seen that sincerity is very important to both the speaker and the listener.If you don't treat people sincerely, you will be deceiving and fooling people. If you trust others' false words, you may delay major events and cause bad consequences.

Speaking is a process of conveying information.Therefore, improving one's speaking confidence and enhancing one's speaking charm depends not only on whether the speaker can express his thoughts accurately and fluently, but also on whether the thoughts and information you express can be accepted and resonated by the audience .In other words, to speak well, the key lies in whether the words can touch the heartstrings of the listeners. In life, some people make long speeches or are impassioned, but they just can't attract the interest of the listeners; while some people have a few words, but they are powerful and magical.why?Because the latter understands people's self-esteem, can put themselves in the position of the other party, and observe problems from the other party's perspective.Therefore, their conversation is full of sincerity and very touching.

In 1952, former U.S. President Nixon had a serious political crisis when he was a young senator and Eisenhower's running mate.While he was running for the campaign, the New York Times ran an article accusing him of secretly accepting bribes during the campaign.The news flew all over the country, and there was an immediate public outcry, and the pressure was mounting.The miracle that saved him from danger was that he made a speech that shocked the United States. Nixon was forced to speak on television for half an hour.National TV stations pointed various cameras and microphones at Nixon.When Nixon appeared on the television screen, all of America fell silent.In a rare move, he made his financial history public, from his fortune to his debts.In this way, Nixon first gained the sympathy of the audience.Immediately afterwards, he detailed his financial situation, and even told the audience how to spend every penny.He also told everyone, "After this nomination, I did receive a gift, which is a puppy from someone in Texas for my child." When he finished, there were cheers everywhere .One million people called, telegraphed or sent letters, and the small donations remitted from the post office reached 60,000 US dollars, and 60 million people nationwide listened to and watched this speech.The speech not only clarified the facts, but also gained a large number of sympathizers.

Deep love can be thrilling.Nixon's speech won the hearts of the public with sincerity and simplicity. Muhammad Ali suffered from his popularity due to his inability to speak well when he was young.Once, Ali injured his knee while participating in the competition, and the audience was disappointed, and the impression of him was even worse.At that time, he did not waste time and immediately asked to stop the game.Ali said: "The knee injury is not enough to prevent the game, but in order not to affect the audience's interest in watching the game, I request a suspension." The sincere explanation of the matter made everyone have an excellent impression of him.His request to suspend the game for the sake of the overall situation is indeed for the sake of the audience, and everyone was deeply moved by this.

The above few examples are enough to show that as long as the speaker is sincere and his words are full of sincerity, he will definitely be able to touch the hearts of the listeners. The famous Japanese salesman Hara Ippei once said: "Being a person and doing business is the same. The first key is honesty. Honesty is like the root of a tree. If there is no root, then the tree will have no life." Yuan Yiping's own success also proves that up to this point. Yuan Yiping worked as a salesman in a machine company when he was young.Once he made business with 30 customers within half a month.Soon, he found that the machine he was selling was more expensive than the machine with the same performance produced by other companies.He thought: If the client finds out, he must think that I am deceiving them, and he will doubt my credit.

In order to properly solve the problem, Yuan Yiping took the contract and the order, visited the customer door by door, explained the situation to the customer truthfully, and asked the customer to reconsider the choice.This honest approach touches every client deeply.As a result, none of the 30 people terminated the contract, but all became more loyal customers. The law of business is that if one of your products is faulty, all of your products will be suspect.The same is true with speech, if one out of ten of your sentences is a lie, all your words will be questioned. Many people try to use a witty language to convince the other party of their words.But in reality, this approach is not impossible, it's just too difficult to do.

Living in this modern society, you must believe that although there are not many people who are smarter than you, at least there are many people who are as smart as you. So why do you want people who are as smart as you to believe your words? As the saying goes, it is better to be able to speak than to be able to listen.It is not easy to convince the other party to believe your words. There was a college student who joined a large company after graduation.This is a company that deals in jade, and its scale is quite large.Originally, this college student was applying for a job as a company employee, but the leader assigned him to stand at the counter in a store under the company and asked him to sell jade to customers.

Although being a salesperson is not the ideal of this college student, he thinks that since he is assigned here, he should work with peace of mind.After working for only one month, this college student turned out to be the one who sold the most jade among the shop assistants. So what kind of sales method does this college student use?He did it the honest way. When a customer arrives, the general clerk will tell the customer how good the jade they are selling is and how reasonable the price is. This is not the case for this college student. He first told the other party the price of this kind of jade, and then said to the guest: "This kind of jade is a top-grade jade. If it is not slightly flawed, then its price is not the same as it is now. price."

Then he pointed out the slight flaws of the jade to the guests, and then explained some jade identification skills to the guests.As a result, customers always happily buy the jade recommended by him. It can be seen that honest language is also a skill of argument, and sometimes this method is more powerful than eloquence.Of course, pleading with wit and honesty can not only save those in adversity, but also sometimes achieve unexpected good results. In ancient times, Marquis Wen of Wei got a swan and sent a man named Wu Ze to deliver it to Marquis Qi.Zhu Zhe carefully carried the swan forward, but unexpectedly, the swan flew straight into the sky and flew away.Wu Zhe was terrified, and after thinking hard, he resolutely came to Qihou's palace, knelt down on his knees, respectfully presented an empty birdcage, and said to Qihou: "My lord, my king sent me to come here. Here comes the swan for you." "Excuse me, where is the swan?" Qi Hou asked angrily when he saw that the cage was empty.The surrounding ministers also showed expressions of anger and contempt. But Jian Wuze replied calmly: "I watched the swan very carefully along the way. When I found that the swan was very thirsty, I couldn't bear it, so I let it out to drink water. At that time, it flew into the sky and never came back. At that time, I was extremely sad. I originally thought that there are so many swans in the world, why not just buy a similar one and give it to the king, but then I thought, wouldn’t this be deceiving the king? I blame myself again, I can’t even send a swan, it’s better to commit suicide, but if it spreads in this way, won’t others think that the king values ​​birds and beasts more than people? I think again , how can I meet the king without a swan? Just run away, but won’t this affect the friendly exchanges between the two countries because of me? In the end, I have no choice but to present an empty birdcage to the king, please forgive me .” After listening to Wu Ze's words, Qi Hou was moved, and instead of blaming Wu Ze at all, he said to him: "Your words are far better than a swan, may I grant you a land of a hundred miles? "Thank you very much. From this story, we can see that, relying on his wisdom and honest answers, not only was he not punished for losing the swan, but he was valued and rewarded by the Marquis of Qi.The reason why his words have such strong eloquent power is that he uses the honest argument, that if you change a swan, you deceive the king; I cannot deceive the king, so I cannot exchange a swan. Of course, honest words don't always get the results you want. A teacher kindly reminded the parents of a student: "You should go home and give your child a good bath, because his body smells bad, and the classmates don't want to sit with him." The parent said arrogantly to the teacher: "You are really nosy, my son is not a rose, I sent him to school to let him learn, not to let you smell him!" The teacher used an honest method, but it was not accepted by the students' parents.But the teacher was not in a hurry. She smiled and said to the parent: "Yeah, he is really not for me to smell. But because the students around him can't bear his smell, they use it in class." Covering your nose with your hands, so that you don’t have free hands to write and raise your hands to answer questions. And the school’s regulations are such that if a student disrupts the classroom order and prevents other students from attending class, then the student can be sent back to the classroom. Go home, do you think your child is in this situation?" The parent was silent after hearing this, and he promised to take a bath for the child after he returned.