Chapter 3 Pascal survived

Painter Yazawa Tatsuo is listening carefully to the story of art magazine reporter Mori Yoshiro with unprecedented seriousness.Mori, who is about ten years younger than Yazawa, originally aspired to be an editor of a literary magazine before becoming a reporter for an art magazine.Yazawa didn't read much about novels, and at this time they were on the second floor of a bar in a back alley of Ginza. The story Sen told was the novel "The Man Who Died Twice" (II Fu Mattia Pascal) written by the Italian writer who won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Yazawa still remembers why he talked about that novel until later.They were originally talking about a northeastern farmer who left his hometown and worked hard for many years. After learning that he was mistaken for a murder victim, he hurried back home after being shocked.The farmer was "little rooted" and hadn't written a letter to his wife or relatives for three years.His wife happened to find that an unknown man who was murdered had similar characteristics to her husband through a TV report, so she reported the case to the police, and it was only after the news was reported that he returned to his hometown.

Although the newspaper described this man who hadn't written a letter for three years as a "little guy", was he really like that?After Yazawa Tatsuo read the report, he told Mori how he felt. "That man has been freed from the shackles of his family for three full years. Maybe he is living freely and happily. This is the wish of all husbands in the world. If the episode where he was mistaken for the murder victim hadn't happened, he must have continued No audio at all." "You should be talking about the kind of 'evaporated husband' who is not short of money and has no worries about food and clothing. Farmers who leave their homes and go out to work hard don't seem to have such an easy life." Sen said.

"Why? The price of rice has risen recently. Don't farmers have a lot of pockets? Most families have their own cars. In addition, agricultural machinery and fertilizers have been modernized, and manpower is no longer needed. The second and third sons of the family have moved to the city one after another. The population has plummeted. Not only because young people yearn for urban life, but agriculture no longer requires as much labor as in the past. No, not only the second and third sons, but I am afraid they don’t even need husbands. Even if there are only a group of women left in the countryside , as long as you know how to operate mechanized farm tools. Especially during the slack season, it’s not an option for your husband to do nothing at home. He can simply leave his hometown to work, which can at least increase his cash income. The government will buy white rice at a high price. This kind of life is more secure. I think it’s a good thing. When I used to talk about wage earners, I thought of poor peasants who were enslaved by life, and I felt quite miserable, but these days, wage earners should become a channel to increase cash income.”

Yazawa said while drinking. Sen's answer to this was: "The wage earners who came out of the countryside in the past were indeed as you said. But in fact, there has not been much change in essence. The rich are still nouveau riche or large farm households who got rich by selling land. Life is not so easy. There are mainly two problems in consumption: one is the purchase of agricultural machinery and fertilizers. The mechanization of agricultural machinery is changing with each passing day, and new developed and improved products are launched every year. After two or three years, before buying It becomes an old thing, and the new product must have a stronger function to induce consumers to buy it. This is the same as the psychology of liking to change cars. In addition, buying pesticides is also a big expense. Once used Farm machinery and tools, once you get used to not needing manpower, it is impossible to get rid of farm machinery and tools. In addition, even if the rice is sold to the farmers association, the government will deduct taxes, and the actual money farmers get is not much. However, this is of course also It can be said to be a necessary cost of production, so there is nothing to complain about. The trouble is that the cost of living has continued to increase, and the standard of living in rural areas is now similar to that in urban areas. It is true that farmers can realize their wishes for many years and eliminate differences in life. Very well. In short, the bicycle became a motorcycle, and the motorcycle became a car; the radio became a television, and the television changed from black and white to color; Food revolution. The thatch-roofed farmhouses have been renovated and rebuilt like houses in the city, and the consumer culture of the city has naturally penetrated into the countryside. Coupled with the influence of TV, it is even more boundless. This is the unified culture of the city using the medium of TV At first glance, the countryside is indeed rich, but when it comes to the economic situation, it is actually no different from the poor rural areas of the city.”

"So that's how it is, that's how it is." "Since the Edo period when the land economy lost to the circulation economy, this law has never changed. For a while, the countryside did make money, but it was slowly taken away by the city. Coupled with the land reduction system implemented last year, this The problem became quite serious." "So you have to leave your hometown to work?" "At least that's what I think. Farmers don't like to leave their homes to work because it causes family problems." "family problems?" "It's always unnatural for husbands and wives to be separated for a long time. I heard that family tragedies often happen when the husband who goes out to work finds a new love in a foreign land."

"You've got the point... After listening to your description, I have already understood the reality of wage earners, but I think there should be many people who escaped from their families. Maybe part of the reason is that farming is too hard and they go to the city Escaping from reality, but another kind of escaping from reality is to avoid your wife. This is not divided into cities or rural areas, but the common aspiration of all husbands in the world. I always feel that the wage earner who was mistaken for a murder victim must be very sad now. Hate that murderer, why did he cause such trouble, if that murder hadn't happened, he would have been free for a longer time... No, I guess there must be some husbands in this world who think the same way, if you are that Men, just pretend they were killed, and never have to go back to their wives."

"Honestly," said the literary-loving art magazine reporter with a smile on his red eyes, "when I saw that report, I also thought that there should be many husbands who felt the same way as you. At the same time, I remembered at that moment "The Man Who Died Twice." "Did twice..." "... the man, the story described in the newspaper is somewhat similar to the setting of the novel. The difference is that the protagonist in the novel is not mistaken for a murder victim, but a suicide. So the protagonist simply does not return to the The wife's side, just walk away. The wish of all husbands you mentioned has become the plot of the novel."

Sen narrates the plot of the novel "The Man Who Died Twice" by the Italian writer Luigi Pirandello. "Matia Pascal... I remember the main character's name should be this." Sen took a sip of wine and took a breath before continuing, "Pascal originally grew up in a wealthy family, but he lost his father when he was young, and the property was taken over by the housekeeper. Stealing little by little, he was almost penniless by the time he was an adult. At the same time, he was seduced by the housekeeper's niece, Romeda, and made a big mistake, so he had to marry Romeda as his wife.

"With the help of his friends, Pascal managed to get a job as a librarian, but his married life was miserable every day, trapped in poverty, the greed of his mother-in-law and the indifference of his wife. However, with the world Like most husbands, he accepted the situation with joy and lived a life of despair and depression until later, when his only comforting daughter and old mother died one after another, his life became even more gloomy. Desperate, he could no longer endure his own life, and one day, in a flash of his head, he left his family and set off on a wandering road, with only the five hundred pounds his brother sent him to buy a tombstone in his pocket."

"Living in this kind of family, it's no wonder that the protagonist will run away from home. He must have endured it for a long time. He is probably a very weak husband. Under the attack of a greedy mother-in-law, endless nagging and a ruthless wife, who can stand it?" ! Then what happens after he embarks on the wandering road?" Yazawa interrupted and asked. "Unexpectedly, an unexpected fate was waiting for him. He ran to Monte Carlo to gamble casually, and the unexpected good fortune allowed him to win a huge sum of 82,000 pounds in one fell swoop." "Five hundred pounds turned into eighty-two thousand pounds!"

"Not only that, during this period, a man who looked exactly like him in his hometown committed suicide in his family's former territory. Everyone mistakenly thought it was him, and his wife and mother-in-law also thought it was him, and the police also That's the case." "That's it..." "Pascal was ecstatic when he heard the news. He knew that he had finally got rid of his gloomy life and was freed from the shackles of his wife forever. Since Mattia Pascal no longer exists in this world, naturally he doesn't have to worry about his wife chasing him. He was ecstatic to have money and freedom." "I suppose so." "Pascal immediately changed his face and changed his name to Meis. I remember that his full name should be Adriano Meis." "He must think life is as sunny as the Adriatic." "Pascal, who became Meis, traveled around as he pleased, and enjoyed it for a while. He tasted the supreme happiness brought by a free life. He once felt that even if it was used to offset the gloomy life in the past, it would be okay. Get back several times the change." "At one point?" "Yes, just once. Then he found out that wasn't the case." "why?" "Because he gradually understands what is the freedom he has been looking forward to for a long time. At this time, he has not yet obtained the real freedom. He traveled alone for a whole year, but the lonely wandering made him physically and mentally exhausted. Then, he Wanted to buy a house to live in, but couldn’t register because of a false name. Mattia Pascal’s account has been canceled due to death, and the name Adriano Meis is of course not on the account.” "Ok……" "In desperation, he had no choice but to stay with a middle-class family in Rome, and fell in love with Adriana, the housekeeper of that family." "Oh? That girl's name is Adriana?" "You can't blame me, that's how the novel is written, so after Pascal disguised as Meis got the love of the girl Adriana, not only did he no longer feel lonely, but he could finally immerse himself in the dream that he had longed for since his youth." In that kind of devoted love. This girl was the exact opposite of his wife, she was kind and tender." "Can this kind of happiness last?" The painter showed suspicion. "You're right. The bland happiness only lasted for a short while, because the husband of Adriana's dead sister came back. This brother-in-law was a hooligan. Because he didn't want to return the dowry property of the dead wife, he tried to get married with Adriana. Married. But Adriana loved Meis, so of course she refused. Later, her brother-in-law stole 12,000 pounds from Meis, but Meis could not call the police, because once she called the police, she would use the The pseudonym thing will be exposed." Sen continued: "Mays found himself living outside all laws. After 12,000 pounds were stolen, he knew who stole it but could not call the police, and was not protected by all laws. No, not only laws, he Even excluded from 'birth'." Having said that, Sen took a sip of his wine. "He loves Adriana deeply, and she loves him deeply. The end of this relationship should be marriage. But how can he get married under a false name? He is very upset. He has to come to a conclusion—continue How much it hurts Adriana to talk about this love that is impossible to marry. Not only that, but sooner or later the other party will find out that he is using a pseudonym, which will mean the destruction of love. Because the other party will definitely lie to him Angry. Meise, who could not bear to face the cruel end of the breakup, was cornered, so he became a suicide again. This time he deliberately faked suicide, and then left Rome to resume the identity of Mattia Pascal. " "What did he do after resuming his real name?" "He went home." "Back to the house where the wife who bound him, and the greedy mother-in-law?" "No way, Pascal has fully understood the sorrow of the undocumented. As long as he has no household registration for a day, he will be excluded from the law and life forever. He is eager to regain the protection of the law and want to have various rights, so Knowing that his life would return to gray, he still returned to the front of his former home, facing the misfortune that was waiting for him... Then, guess what?" "His wife rushed out and yelled at him? Or she was so happy to see him come back alive, so she became more gentle for a while." "It's not right. The development of the matter is very unexpected. His wife has remarried, and the object is the man who introduced him to be a librarian. His wife thought he was dead, so Pascal is really a very unlucky man." "Unlucky? Where is it!" The art magazine reporter raised the glass to eye level. "Now, Pascal has finally obtained real freedom. No one is more fortunate than him. Because of the rights granted by the law and the freedom of life, he has both. His wife's remarriage has given him real relief." The painter nodded, then raised his cup. "This is a happy ending...but it seems too coincidental." "It is said that there seemed to be such criticism at that time. Literary critics all pointed out that this kind of plot setting was too divorced from reality. The author Pirandello protested this, and even quoted the fact that someone was forced to sweep his own grave. Case lamented the meager imagination of those critics." "This part is mentioned in the commentary written by Mie Sato for this novel in the "Dictionary of Appreciation of World Literature". As far as I remember from that commentary, Pirandello's attitude should be 'individual General Protest', and that is why he wrote such works. If Pascal gets rid of the inherent rules and regulations of life, he will be banished from life. What the author wants to express here is 'life' and 'form' , and the eternal contradiction between the issues of 'the actual existence of human beings' and the question of 'leaving aside the objective existence of human beings'." "It sounds a little difficult, but it's more or less understandable." "Sato believes that what the author wants to emphasize is that all things, objects and life in the world have this kind of distress before death, and besides this, this trouble will not appear in other forms." "Ok……" "Hey, Mr. Yazawa," the art magazine reporter looked at the painter with a smile in his eyes and said, "Although the author Pirandello won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1934, his private life seems to be not very satisfactory. .The same commentary from Sato said that Pirandello's wife had a mental disorder when he was thirty-seven years old, and he was tortured by his wife's unreasonable jealousy for a full fifteen years. During this period, writing It became the only hope for him." "..." "He is a playwright and novelist born in Sicily. Maybe he didn't have such a miserable life, and it is impossible for him to create such works." The painter's expression seemed to have been splashed with a bucket of cold water. "Drink!" he raised his glass again, "to that Piran of Italy..." "Pirandello." "You can call it whatever you want. In short, I respect the man who is tortured by his wife's unreasonable jealousy and regards creation as his only hope!" Yazawa Tatsuo looked at his watch before ringing the doorbell at the entrance, it was fifteen past eleven.The taxi turned back on the same road behind him and headed downhill.There is no one on the deserted and narrow road, only rows of street lights on both sides.From time to time, circles of halos appeared on the road, but the street lights were not seen because they were blocked by overhanging branches. He rang the bell and waited, a light came through a window, then the door opened and his wife, Suzue, appeared.Yazawa walked past his tall wife, who locked the door while he was taking off his shoes, took off his slippers, and walked straight into the house.Neither of them said a word. As soon as Yazawa came home, he could see his wife's mood at a glance.Even if his wife readily sends him out when he goes out, he can't be careless, because his wife's attitude is often completely different when sending him out and welcoming him home. Now she doesn't seem very happy, there is no smile on her face, and it can be seen from her actions clues. Yazawa walked into the living room, took off his suit, and changed into a jacket and loose trousers.His wife didn't follow in, and when his wife was happy, she would immediately come over to pick up the clothes he took off, and when she was unhappy, she would have to wait until tomorrow morning.Yazawa has long been used to it. While changing into his trousers, he was thinking about the reason why Ling Hui was unhappy, but he still had no idea after much deliberation.In the past, even if he went out for business, his wife would think that he was going out with other women.However, she has become much calmer recently, and it stands to reason that there should be nothing to make her unhappy, but the wife will find fault with old scores whenever she has a chance. Suzuki is in the living room.When Yazawa walked through the corridor, he wanted to go directly to the studio, but if he went directly to the studio, his wife would definitely think that he was avoiding him, and most likely would accuse him of doing something wrong and go back to the room to avoid it according to the usual practice. As soon as she opened the paper door of the living room, she saw Linghui sitting in front of the Decola Japanese-style low table, sitting upright without raising her head.Now that I have shown my face, I can't retract it anymore-in fact, I can do it, but my wife will scream and curse.So Yazawa also sat down at the table. Suzue turned around and took out two teacups from the top of the dining cabinet.This action can be done without standing up for tall women.Judging from the profile, the wife is obviously in a bad mood. She silently filled the teapot with boiling water, and made tea for him even though she was unwilling.It can be seen that the mood is not too bad, Yazawa suddenly looked up and found a box wrapped in department store wrapping paper beside the dining cabinet, the fancy pattern was particularly eye-catching under the light. "Has anyone been here while I'm away?" Yazawa found Huatou and asked, this was also to find out why his wife was in a bad mood. "Mr. Amano came in the evening." Suzue said while pouring the tea from the teapot into the cup. "Amano..." Amano Senta is a second-rate art dealer, and he probably came to urge him to hand in the painting. "He said he saw a good ham in a department store, so he bought it for me." She pushed the teacup slightly towards him and said so. "Are you here to urge the painting on the 20th?" "I didn't say it, but it's obviously for that... When will you be able to draw it?" Suzue rolled up her triangular eyes and cast her eyes on him for the first time.Since the fat on the eyelids has become less, my wife's eyes have gradually become this shape. "It's going to be another month." Yazawa is drinking tea. "It will take so long? I have already collected money from others." You were the one who received the money——the words almost blurted out, but Yazawa managed to stop. "Even if the money has been collected, I can't do anything about the errands I'm not interested in." "After laying the groundwork, there is no progress?" "Ok." "Since you did it so reluctantly, you shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place." You are the one who promised him—Yazawa wished he could choke her. Suzuki is in charge of dealing with art dealers, and her family is not very rich now.When Yazawa had not yet made a fortune, Suzue relied on selling paintings everywhere.Suzumi not only sent the paintings to company or bank executives through her personal connections, but also showed them to unknown art dealers, but they were either returned on the spot or the price was slashed to the point where there was not much left.She experienced the same humiliation as an insurance salesman or a salesman.The habit developed at that time has made Suzue still the intermediary window between Yazawa and the client and art dealer. It is not uncommon for other painters to be represented by their wives as well.The painter did not want to be disturbed by this kind of transaction when he was working, so he was represented by his wife.In addition, it is not convenient for the painter to bargain by himself.From the wife's point of view, taking care of such chores so that her husband can concentrate on creation is tantamount to playing the role of a "good wife". But, of course, the painter will inevitably be at the mercy of his wife, the agent, in the end.In this role, the wife acts as an agent for the client or dealer.For those who desire to own the painter's works, of course they will try to curry favor with the painter's wife who is the agent. It is very rare to buy paintings directly from the artist, and it has become a taboo to go directly to the artist beyond the agent.If an art dealer breaks this rule, if the other party is a master, maybe they will cut off contact.Not to mention anything else, the painter would first dare not agree to the buyer's request in order to avoid offending his wife.Therefore, anyone who wants to own a painter's work will first court the painter's wife. (I am my wife's slave.) Painters often complain to their peers secretly or laugh at themselves like this, accusing their wives of only making decisions for clients and art dealers. Yazawa felt that he could also be included in this category. At first, he also felt that it would be easier for Linghui to negotiate.But she promised too many deals, and he couldn't help but get angry when the painter pushed him into a hurry.But the next deal cannot be withdrawn, and the wife, who is a broker, refuses to give in no matter what, saying that she wants to give others an explanation, so as to spur her husband on, the method can be described as merciless. In addition, Yazawa always feels indebted to his wife for letting Suzue sell paintings in the unknown era, so he can't speak too forcefully.In addition, Suzue always likes to emphasize the hard work at that time. It would be a different matter if it was a great painter—she always said that to Yazawa. After becoming a master, the painter's wife will try not to let her husband paint, because she is afraid that creating casually will cause the authority and market price to drop. Certain art dealers will also ask the wives of master painters to reduce their works. "But, like you..." Suzue said to Yazawa, "For ordinary people like you, you must work hard now. Only by constantly creating, your paintings will get better and better, and you will be able to diversify. You can find a new direction in your creation. Look at Mr. A and Mr. B. Although he is respected as a master now, when he was your age, he worked so hard!" The masters mentioned by Suzue are indeed similar at first glance, but in fact they are quite different in their internal factors.These people have a strong backing like stars and moons. Those foreign aids are either powerful groups of popular writers, influential art dealers, or financial leaders with a paranoid interest in art.Moreover, the conditions will vary from time to time.Sometimes such foreign aid is very effective, and sometimes it is completely ineffective. Only by catering to the turbulent artistic innovation can we stand on the wave of luck. "No matter how much I push and pinch, I don't have that kind of good luck and talent!" Yazawa once told Suzume. "That's why I said you're useless." Ling Hui pouted as she spoke. "Why am I useless?" "Because you have no courage! Just look at your paintings." "What do you know?!" "There is no devil in your painting, it's just very skillful." "Don't be so self-righteous!" "It's useless for you to yell at me like this. You will be angry if you are hurt by what I say. Because you refuse to concentrate on painting well, you can't produce demons. Your mind is spent on other things." His thoughts were all spent on other aspects——this sentence made Yazawa feel discouraged immediately.He knew that if he continued to argue, the topic would definitely jump from art to his past.At that time, the wife will be possessed by a demon, and the hysteria that has subsided will relapse again. The reason why the painter feels "slaved" by his wife as an agent is not only because the wife will replace the client and the dealer to supervise the number of paintings and the date of delivery.What's more important is that the wife is not only responsible for negotiating and deciding the price (of course, formally, it will still be discussed with the painter), but also takes the money.After the transaction is completed, the wife will report to the painter that the money has been credited, and the money is still managed by the wife.Since the wife has already been entrusted with full responsibility for negotiating with the buyer, it is naturally not easy to ask the wife to hand over the money.According to his wife, it is "custodial on behalf of him". However, matters such as bank deposit and withdrawal are all in charge of his wife.Although the painter did not give his wife this right, but because of the habit of leaving annoying chores to his wife, it will become this state over time. Necessary expenses - not to mention the material cost of painting, even the travel expenses for sketching, or the money spent on drinks in decent teahouses or bars, Yazawa also asked the store to hand over the bill to Suzue.I have to ask her for pocket money. It is pocket money, but since the above-mentioned necessary expenses are all paid by Suzume or transferred from the bank, Yazawa should not need that much money in theory.Therefore, it is natural for Yazawa not to ask Suzume for an unreasonable amount, and he has to bother to explain it every time he opens his mouth. However, Yazawa desires freedom of money as well as freedom of action.Not only Yazawa, but all painters in this position have the same aspirations. On the grounds of "tax avoidance", Linghui asked the consignor and the art dealer to deliver the payment for the painting directly to the door in cash.She declared that any bank transfer or check would invite "interference from the IRS" and be avoided as much as possible.On this point, not only Linghui, but almost all painters' wives must have similar requirements. The painter who was forced to paint all day long but was robbed by his wife of the painting money was really quite desperate.I didn't get the money, so I have no sense of value, and I can't use it freely.The lack of freedom in money also limits the freedom of action. In principle, professional painters create in their studios.As a wife, she went in and out of the studio all day long, and she remembered everything her husband drew in her mind clearly.They also know the buyers who order paintings like the back of their hands.In other words, even if a painter wanted to secretly sell his paintings to make some private money, it would never be possible.Every painting in the studio is under the control of the agent. The more he is under such constraints, the more the painter longs for financial freedom.That is directly proportional to the freedom of action, and this need makes them start to use their brains and find ways.And the way to find it is generally the same—however, it is still difficult to achieve without the willing cooperation of art dealers. Yazawa used this trick from time to time before. The reason why the painting that Amano ordered on the 20th has not been completed is not only because of the emptiness caused by Yazawa himself not being able to get a dime of the painting money into the hands of Suzue.He is also unwilling to admit that he will lose his will to create because of this reason, but he really has no interest. The real reason is that Amano was entrusted by the president of a certain company to order the painting. The customer's preferences and requirements were completely different from Yazawa's style, so he was not interested.But Linghui didn't understand this point, and said something about the devil, but the point was not that she had accepted Amano's entrustment and was obliged to deliver the goods on time. If he was dealing directly with the bookseller, at least the other party would not dare to boss him around like this, and he could find all kinds of excuses on his side.But through his wife, the daily progress is clearly tracked.In addition, his wife would not be polite to him, she urged him extremely severely, and even scolded him cynically. The idiom "restriction and punishment" was originally used to describe the government's merciless collection of taxes, but as far as the painter's wife squeezes the labor of her husband, this idiom seems to be more appropriate. "Facing Mr. Amano, I can no longer find excuses to procrastinate. When will you finish the painting?" Suzue put the teacup to her lips, and gave Yazawa a cold look. "Well. Two more weeks." Yazawa picked up a cigarette. Yazawa deduced that the reason Suzue was unhappy was because Amano urged her today. Amano Senta's old and cunning smile appeared in front of his eyes, he must be flattering Suzuki in every possible way, while pressing every step of the way.Once this kind of art dealer meets Yazawa, he will only humbly apologize. "What kind of party is it tonight?" Suzuki changed the subject. "It's not a party, I went to drink with Komori. We made an appointment on the phone yesterday." That call was answered by Linghui, so she should know that he will meet with Sen tonight. Knowing clearly, she purposely asked him what kind of party it was because Ling Hui still remembered the fact that he used the party as an excuse to sneak away to other places. I thought Linghui was going to take the opportunity to find trouble again, but she stopped there, drinking the remaining tea in the cup and said: "Taizi said that he will resign after another month of work." Changing the subject suddenly is her bad habit. "I'm going to resign in another month? But, hasn't she been in our house for less than a year?" Yasuko is a twenty-one-year-old maid from Hokkaido. "Only ten months." "Didn't you agree to stay for two years? Why do you want to leave suddenly?" Yasuko was sleeping in another room, although it was far away, Yazawa lowered his voice slightly. "I don't know either. It seems that I found a good job in Tokyo." Now Yazawa finally understands the reason for Suzue's displeasure. It seems that the maid's resignation has stimulated her. "Isn't it useless to keep it?" "There was a woman who claimed to be Yasuko's friend who called her every three days. I think that woman must have encouraged her to quit. It's too contemptuous. Everyone regards our house as a stepping stone to Tokyo." Almost all the maids hired from the countryside before left after only one or a year and a half, and they all went to Tokyo to find another job.Because Yazawa's family paid for their travel expenses when they came to Tokyo, Suzue was very angry, thinking that they were just using this family to settle down temporarily before finding a satisfactory job in Tokyo. The resignation of the maid is not pleasant news for ordinary people, let alone a woman like Linghui, no wonder she is so angry. "Since she doesn't want to do it anymore, she can't force it. She has to find someone to take over." Yazawa comforted her while swallowing. "Where can I find someone to take over for a while! Every household is too busy." Suzue said sharply as if she wanted to vent her anger on him. "It's better to ask the personnel company to find someone through the previous relationship. It will be more expensive, but there is no way. Use this period to slowly find a replacement." "The people in the personnel company seem to be very bad these days. I heard that there are also housewives who come to work from the countryside." Yazawa remembered the conversation with Mori tonight. Not only men but also women came to work in the city from the countryside. Only the elderly and children stayed at home.Sen said that this kind of situation will lead to family problems in the countryside... From here they talked about the disappearance of the husband who left the countryside to work hard, and then talked about the novel "The Man Who Died Twice" written by the Italian Nobel Prize-winning author. "If you can't find the maid again, you might as well look for it." Suzue suddenly showed a sarcastic expression. "You want me to look for it? I don't have any contacts in that area." "Not at all. You forgot, that Chengzi who used to be your model, where is that girl now? She should be obedient to you, you can bring that girl back. I don't mind letting her Be a maid." Linghui has become hideous. Sumiko is the model that Yazawa caused problems five years ago, and Suzue is still brooding over this matter. Although now she would still speak sarcasm, and sometimes she would become hysterical because the taunting caused the emotions at that time to explode again, but it was nothing compared to the time when the incident happened. Chengzi was twenty-one years old at the time, with a petite face and a fit body. She was born to be a painting model.She reported to Yazawa's studio through the introduction of other painters, and had a relationship with Yazawa unknowingly a month later.At first they secretly went to the hotel for a tryst, then Sumiko began to accompany Yazawa on a sketching trip, and finally Yazawa even went to and from her apartment. The painter has to contact the model for his work, and it is reasonable to say that the painter's wife should take it for granted and get used to it.But even a wife with an open-minded attitude on the surface will never let go of her surveillance, and Suzue belongs to this type. Of course, not every female model can make the painter empathize.In other words, there are still likes and dislikes.When creating paintings featuring nude women, the models are treated as objects by the painter, and have nothing to do with the beauty or ugliness of their appearance.Painting is a creation on canvas, not to mention that the secular definition of beauty is often quite different from what painters think.The painter is smashing reality and shaping the beauty in his own heart, so he should not be attracted by the external beauty of the model. However, after all, people have their own preferences, so there will be abnormal love between the painter and the model.However, even if it happens to be in line with your preferences, if you are emotionally attracted to a female model at any time, your body will still be overwhelmed, so painters usually try to ignore this emotion as much as possible. The same is true for Yazawa.Staring at both the model and the canvas at the same time, there will be a struggle in my heart when I create with a brush. This investment and the anguish brought about by art work together to sublimate and purify the vulgar feelings I had for the model.This is the unique sublime of art, and reality is kicked away.After experiencing this experience many times, Yazawa gradually appreciates the joy brought by art. However, these are just the theories of fledgling art students, and it happens from time to time that this theory cannot be applied in practice.Likes are natural and cannot be controlled.Therefore, once Yazawa finds that he is about to be attracted to a female model, he will try to find out the shortcomings of the other party and amplify them. No woman can be perfect.When it comes to actual beauty and ugliness, such as too big nostrils, too high cheekbones, too thin lips, showing gums when you smile, etc... there is always a flaw in some aspect.As long as the ugly part is magnified and used to negate the whole, you can get rid of the budding evil thoughts.The same applies to a woman's body below the neck. A painter friend once told him that once he fell in love with a model, he would speak ill of the model in front of his wife, so that even the suspicious wife would feel at ease.另一招则是尽量主动让妻子接触在画室里工作的模特儿，任何为人妻的都会有与丈夫一体的意识，因此妻子在面对模特儿时，都会自然而然地产生身为主人的优越感，同时陷入模特儿不再是情敌的错觉。 “再说得明白一点儿，”那位友人说，“你看那些跑去轻井泽避暑的画家妻子，有机缘承蒙一些名士赏脸，应邀住进对方风景区附近的别墅，结果有些画家的妻子还真以为自己也成名士夫人了呢。” 在妻子面前说情妇的坏话，或是让妻子参与职业中有女人的部分，虽然都是解除妻子猜疑的伎俩，但有时候并没有那么顺利。总会在哪儿露出端倪，之前的手段随之前功尽弃，妻子还是一眼就发现了。 就算放大对方的某个缺点，有时候画家还是抗拒不了诱惑。这时人性会优于艺术家的身份。因为艺术并非艺术家依靠空泛的观念塑造出来的，唯有发挥人性，历经血泪交织的苦斗才能创造出来，只有尝过这种炼狱苦闷的人才会有恶魔附身——某人说过的话突然浮上矢泽的心头。他不可避免地陷入到两个女人之间的人性苦斗。 通常风流韵事不会发自苦闷，一开始总是充满充实与欢乐。矢泽和澄子出轨的起因很普通，进展也平凡无奇。去旅馆幽会，带澄子去写生旅行，乃至大胆地直接到对方的住处，都算不上什么特别的行动。 异常的是妻子铃惠。事情败露后，铃惠曾经自杀，还曾抓起菜刀威胁矢泽。 由于这种事过去也发生过几次，所以矢泽和澄子来往时特别提高了警觉。但随着起先的戒心在习惯了之后逐渐淡忘，甚至产生情性，矢泽还是不慎露出了马脚。 打从结婚不久，铃惠发现矢泽有了别的女人以后，便开始出现歇斯底里的行为。 矢泽和铃惠虽是自由恋爱结婚，但早在两人结婚之前他已与友人的妹妹有所来往。当时他与铃惠的婚事遭到女方家长反对，矢泽绝望之下浪迹东北。整整三个月，他都住在彼时尚未开发的十和田湖附近的山中温泉旅馆，一边自炊一边作画，期间曾把友人的妹妹偷偷接来过一两次。当时矢泽年仅二十六岁，难耐独居的寂寞；不过倒也不是单纯为了肉体享乐，在友人之妹的深情羁绊下，他也考虑过干脆一起生活吧，直到收到铃惠称父母已答应婚事的电报…… 矢泽会狠心抛弃对他一往情深、无怨无悔的友人之妹，是因为心中有个疙瘩，令他无法下定决心，当时铃惠还没出现，所以不算移情别恋。原因是那女孩长得不漂亮，这一点令矢泽不想娶她。“如果和此人结婚将来一定会离婚吧，我一定会爱上别的女人，无论对她还是对我，都将有不幸的结局，所以还是不要跟她结婚吧。”——他如此下定决心。矢泽一向把爱情和婚姻划清界限，视为两回事儿。 那个女孩叫道子，矢泽享受着她单方面的爱情时二十六岁，道子二十四岁，彼此都正处于肉体成熟期。她来访期间，矢泽便会抛下绘画，两人从早到晚、没日没夜地缠绵交欢。那里是东北地区的山中温泉，来旅馆泡温泉的客人几乎都是农家老人，顶多会有两三人蹲在走廊偷听，反正他那时已经几乎自暴自弃地过日子了，更加不在乎。 矢泽时常抱着写生板，越过溪流，走进白桦林。那时奥入濑远没有现在这么多游客。他并不是去写生，而是和道子在密林中做爱。浸淫在道子的浓情蜜意下，矢泽甚至觉得，如果要死，也要在把体内的生命力统统榨干以后，在精疲力竭的状态下失去意识。 然而，当时毕竟年轻，身体内有强劲的青春活力。虽已几近放弃，却还没陷入到彻底的绝望，对于绘画的渴望又宛如天边一隅露出的晴空。只不过不巧的是，那片晴空的对面，是与铃惠结婚的可能性。这令他得以挣脱随时都会答应陪他殉情的道子的温柔怀抱。 “跟我在一起，你永远都无法定下心画画吧？”道子抛下这句就主动回东京去了。幸运的是，她前脚刚走，铃惠的电报就紧跟着送到了。 在与铃惠举行婚礼的三天前，矢泽与道子在旅馆里度过了最后一夜。虽然正在筹备婚礼忙得焦头烂额，但他仍然无法漠视道子的感受。 他在一个星期前把婚事告诉道子，本来担心会发生什么悲剧，没想到道子出乎意料地爽快接受，只露出寂寞的微笑说：“反正我早就知道不可能嫁给你，因为我早就知道你没有那么喜欢我。”她向矢泽道喜之后才激动地浑身颤抖，放声大哭。 在婚礼前三天共度最后一晚是道子提出的要求，矢泽无法拒绝，想到她过去付出的丰富爱情与诚意，他怎么开得了口拒绝她这个心酸的愿望。 况且他还有自私的盘算。如果一口回绝，他怕道子不知会使出什么手段。世间有很多婚礼上冒出女人搅局的例子。此外，也有不少女人挟怨投书给不知情的新娘，或是留下这一类遗书含恨自杀。矢泽很怕发生这种事，为了保卫自己的幸福，他只好听道子的。还有一个原因，那就是期待着三天后与铃惠的婚礼，矢泽在肉欲上也的确很亢奋。 我得小心点儿——矢泽在约定的那一天暗想。某个朋友的朋友，就是在同样的状况下去女人的公寓赴约，结果熟睡中遭到女人杀害。而那晚正是他即将与另一个女人步入结婚礼堂的前一晚。矢泽想起这件事，顿时有种不祥的预感，但事到如今也不能开溜。因为他觉得如果背信毁约，女人很可能会爆发出极端的愤怒，酿成大事。一切都是自己的错，一旦有了不好的预感，就会越想越胆战心惊。 总之千万不能睡着，熟睡太危险，矢泽想。只要保持清醒，就算真有什么危险，也起码可以阻止，想到这一点，那天他尽量先睡了一个长长的午觉，才去道子等候的旅馆赴约。 然而，人怎么可能彻夜不眠，一想到这是分手前的最后一夜，虽说是被动地接受道子的爱，但矢泽也燃起了熊熊的热情之火，事后的疲劳诱人入睡。 黎明将至时道子又向矢泽讨了一次拥抱。 “谢谢，”道子说，“这下子我总算可以死心了，你肯答应我的任性要求，我真的好开心。对不起，谢谢。” 矢泽说不出话。虽觉得自己是个罪人，但在心底，想到已平安度过最后危机，不禁还是松了一口气。 他和铃惠完婚后一个星期，道子便自杀了。她死在奥入濑溪谷的森林中，正值枫叶转红之际，遗体过了很久都无人发现。她哥哥收到了遗书，矢泽这边倒是没收到任何信件。 这件事不可能没传入铃惠耳中，流言总是这样转来转去。半年后，矢泽遭到了铃惠的逼问。 矢泽向铃惠坦承了与道子的恋情。但并非主动招认，是在逼问下勉强挤出最低限度的答复，还隐瞒了许多详情。如果把他和道子之间的爱欲贪欢全部说出来，新婚不久的铃惠一定会昏倒。 铃惠无法原谅的，是矢泽直到结婚前夕还与道子保持来往。她认为一边和那种女人发生关系，一边若无其事地向她求婚的行为太龌龊了，她指控这是欺诈。矢泽虽无从辩驳，但还是试图解释。 “没把道子的事告诉你就跟你结婚，的确是我不对。但那时我一心想娶你，怎么可能有那种勇气说出来。如果说出真相，你一定会离开我，那比什么都令我无法忍受。说出真相，我就没把握你会答应嫁给我了。我和道子交往，本来就是一时鬼迷心窍，早在跟你恋爱之前我就已经跟她了断了。只不过她一直对我有爱慕之意。我早就拒绝她了。我对你的爱绝不龌龊，同时也没有欺骗你。不仅如此，你爸妈反对我们结婚时，我不是还在绝望之下隐遁到十和田湖附近的山中旅馆吗？那时，我甚至打算自杀……” 矢泽如此向铃惠解释，而对于他如何叫道子去山中旅馆找他，并沉溺于彼此的爱欲一事却只字未提。“道子的自杀纯粹是她自己想不开，和我毫无关系。”——他如此解释。所幸身为道子兄长的那位友人没把她的遗书内容公开，因此矢泽费尽口舌后，总算让铃惠平静了下来。况且，站在铃惠的立场，想必也有一种胜利者的心态，所以才会这么快被说服吧，矢泽如此分析妻子的心理。 谎话是在一年后被揭穿的。有个同行知道当年十和田湖的那些事，结果他那个多管闲事的妻子偷偷向铃惠通风报信。像这种表面上看似是为对方着想，以示交情亲密，其实骨子里藏着恶魔般好奇心的麻烦制造者到处都有。 铃惠立刻横眉竖眼地通问矢泽。她气得太阳穴上青筋暴起，下唇直打哆嗦，脸上毫无血色。这是婚后一年半以来，矢泽首次发现妻子异于常人的妒火。 从此，铃惠的监视变得极为严格，一逮到机会就发作。对她来说，往事似乎永远忘不掉，一想到就发火，而且发作得非常突兀。比方说饭后本来好端端地在厨房洗碗，或正对着梳妆台化妆，这时忽然响起碗盘破碎声，矢泽探头朝厨房一看，只见铃惠把矢泽用的碗盘、杯子全砸了，筷子也折成两截，正呆然伫立。饭碗的碎片割破了她的手指，不停滴着血。矢泽半推半搂地把她带进房间，她就扑上来乱抓矢泽的手掌和手臂。似乎铃惠只要往梳妆台前一坐，就会边化妆边左思右想，想来想去就想到了道子，于是越想越火大，然后就毫无预警地抓起化妆品瓶子朝他乱扔。 那段时间矢泽正全心投入绘画，也无暇拈花惹草。何况连陈年往事都能让铃惠抓狂，现在要是稍有二心，不知会闹成什么德性，所以他也不敢放肆。 不过，那十年之中，也不能说完全没出轨。在出外写生的旅途中，和风尘女子有过一夜情；也和画材行的女店员及贫民区小酒馆的女人有过短暂来往。这些风流韵事均为期甚短，也都在铃惠察觉之前就已妥善处理了。 后来他与另一个酒吧女的关系被铃惠发现，他自认为已经够小心了，却还是一时大意被铃惠逮到。这次足足一个多月，矢泽的手背和背部一直累累伤痕。 十年下来，矢泽的画作终于勉强赢得了画商的肯定，在美术展中得过几次奖以后，美术评论家开始在报上提起他的名字，美术杂志也开始报道他了。 从那时候起，矢泽便把画作定价等一切工作交涉都交由铃惠负责。他觉得为了让画艺精进，这么做比较轻松。而且他听说大师和一线画家都几乎如此。此举实在太轻率，等他发觉自己已沦为“老婆的奴才”时，一切为时已晚。 曾有位也是由妻子担任经纪人的画坛大佬遇到这样的事。一次，一位收藏家未提前说明就跑去找这位老画家，想请他在盒子上盖章签名。可他妻子一查自制的作品清单，发现那幅画并未登记在案。大佬当然一口咬定那是一幅伪作。 直到这位大佬死后，人们才发现他早已与情妇在外头生了两个孩子。某画商也出面宣称上次那幅画的确是他请老画家在别的场所画的，美术评论家也拍胸保证那幅画是真品。生前向来以寡作闻名的巨匠，死后作品数量竟顿时大增。 由妻子担任经纪人的画家之中，还有人背着妻子快手画些小品，或是签名、写短句，然后偷偷交给画商换取临时零花钱的。当然，这些收入在国税局那边也查不到扣税资料。 原来如此，矢泽听了茅塞顿开，他渴望自己也能早日成为这种有商品价值的画家。 这天，矢泽收到一封森祯治郎的来信，信封塞得鼓鼓的，看起来颇有分量。 那晚真不好意思。当时酒酣耳热，聊到意大利作家皮兰德娄写的那篇《死了两次的男人》，似乎勾起了您的兴趣。事后我生怕自己讲错了故事情节，未免太失礼，于是回家之后连忙找出《世界文学鉴赏辞典》查阅了一下，确定没有叙述错误后才安心。 信笺如此开头，全文长达十四五页。 矢泽躲进画室看信。大开的天窗和窗户灌进阳光，室内明亮得恍如户外。待在画室就像置身在自己的世界里，他总会关紧房门。这里原则上禁止妻子进出，不过这个原则常常因铃惠的情绪起伏而遭到破坏。 于是，我开始对深受患有精神分裂症的妻子的折磨、把写作当成唯一消遣、足足忍了十五年的皮兰德娄的个人生活生出好奇。他究竟是个怎样的人呢？不过，他虽贵为诺贝尔文学奖得主，在日本却似乎少有人知，也找不到相关书籍。我从专攻法国文学的友人的书库里好不容易才找到一本相关书籍。是玛格达·马提尼（Magda Martini）写的《皮兰德娄评传》，翻阅之后，皮兰德娄超乎想象的痛苦生活令我大吃一惊，也深受震撼。虽然我的译稿拙劣，但还是随函附上，供您参考。 虽是美术杂志记者，却热爱文学的森，写到这里换了一张纸。 路易吉·皮兰德娄于一九六七年出生于西西里岛的阿格里琴托城，先赴罗马大学求学，又在德国的柏林大学专攻语言学。 一八九四年，皮兰德娄迎娶安东妮叶塔·波特拉为妻，在罗马高等师范学校担任语文教师。一九○四年，由于父亲事业失败，妻子开始出现精神异常的征兆。直到她病死为止，他们的家庭生活都极为悲惨。这场家庭悲剧对皮兰德娄的作品造成了超乎想象的重大影响。 一九○四年皮兰德娄发表长篇小说《死了两次的男人》，预示皮兰德娄独特的形而上风格。他试图探究人类的生命与众人安身的虚构世界之间的关系，并找到极限为何。第一次世界大战以后，他从小说家变为剧作家，名作《六个寻找作者的剧中人》（一九二一年）震撼了欧洲戏剧界。之后他巡回欧美各地介绍自己写的喜剧，一九三四年获诺贝尔文学奖。 皮兰德娄的剧作几乎均已收录在《裸体假面剧·全四卷》中，其中《六个寻找作者的剧中人》和《亨利四世》（一九二二年）并称为二十世纪的杰作。 他的作品一贯会设定一个充满种种极限的虚构世界，并把剧中人为精神苦恼的挣扎描写成一出奇妙的现代悲剧。例如《亨利四世》的主题是狂人，《给你的生命》（一九二三年）描写母亲的固执，《变成某人时》（一九三三年）则描述主角被视为名人的大悲喜剧。他的作品虽具有喜剧的形式，却洋溢着到头来人类灵魂还是无法互相理解的浓厚悲观色彩。这种哲学观点和有相通之处。 父亲的死，使得妻子安东妮叶塔的精神状态进一步恶化，导致她精神病发作。之前能勉强抑制她精神错乱的围栏至此已完全崩溃，父亲在她心目中变得比以前更伟大。她开始语无伦次，而且越来越严重。 皮兰德娄为了逃离妻子，在镇上租了一个房间。妻子是个热爱力量、轻蔑软弱的女人，对她来说，丈夫在镇上另租房间逃避自己，只代表丈夫承认了失败。 面对妻子的精神官能症，唯有动用粗暴而严厉的手段才能制止。如果顺从她那生病的脑袋萌生出的种种奇想，那等于投降。妻子日益疯癫，家庭生活益发不幸。皮兰德娄虽然尽可能慈悲对待，却用错了方法。他眼睁睁地看着妻子忽而精神分裂歇斯底里，下一瞬间又突然道歉反省，并从中感受到了女人的不可思议。 然而，他仍不忍抛弃疯妻。而一味软弱逃避的皮兰德娄那种充满人性的情感世界，却意外促成了他未来文学作品的萌芽，进而将皮兰德娄带入到种种不同主题的巨大器皿中。 他的艺术正是从那伟大的孤独中诞生的。他只能选择逃亡这个懦弱的方法。在他遭受不幸蹂躏的同时，他的小说也令世界为之战栗。 安东妮叶塔的疯狂毫无康复的迹象。从妻子身边逃开，最终也不能使他摆脱妻子。 不幸的安东妮叶塔，她在那明显的疯狂被世人所知后主动前往西西里。然而，对医生和精神医师的诊断结果绝望的皮兰德娄又把妻子带回了罗马，医学已经无法摆救她了。 皮兰德娄为了理解这一悲剧的真实状态，试图探索妻子的心理。他以为西西里之旅能让她想起昔日的青春岁月，事实上，妻子的病情却每况愈下。 他的心象在现实生活中解体，又在他的作品中重新构建。在那永远阴暗的屋内，令人心疼的气氛中，蜷缩着他妻子的身影。我们或许可以说，正是这无限阴郁、无药可救的悲剧，创造出了皮兰德娄那种悲观又宽大的艺术吧。 皮兰德娄之妻的精神异常原来不是来自于对丈夫外遇的嫉妒，而是源于父亲的事业失败——这点令矢泽既感到意外，又有一点点失望。因为他原本以为，艺术家妻子的精神异常都来自丈夫的外遇。 不过，姑且撇开这个不谈，文中一段正是矢泽在面对妻子铃惠时脑中不时浮现的念头。 面对妻子的精神官能症，唯有动用粗暴而严厉的手段才能制止，如果顺从她那生病的脑袋萌生出的种种奇想，那等于投降。 这个乍看之下有些矛盾的治妻之策，实则表里一致。 矢泽曾使尽全力推开扑过来的铃惠，也曾出手揍过她。有时当她无理取闹地主动出手时，他也曾用蛮力制伏过她。矢泽一直深信那是丈夫抑制妻子的异常亢奋，令其顺服的唯一方法。 然而，面对发狂的妻子，那样做究竟能收到多大的效果？妻子的想象已接近妄想，妄想导致她采取暴力攻击他。她是如此地不可理喻、无法沟通。本来谈得好好的，她也会突然话题一转，从意想不到的地方展开攻击。 铃惠曾经闯入画室，拿刀对着尚未完成的画作一通乱割；也曾把溶有颜料的调色盘直接往画作上砸。就连在矢泽思考构图时，妻子也没有停止过谩骂。 这样根本无法工作。对于需要在安静环境和平稳心境下创作的画家而言，妻子的狂乱几近致命，却也只能顺着妻子的脾气。矢泽渐渐觉得，还是尽量顺从妻子这种时怒时笑、时而呆滞沉默、时而突然发飙的不稳性格比较贤明。本以为这是“避风头”，但如果借用《皮兰德娄评传》中的说法，就是“等于投降”。 铃惠从什么时候开始变成这样的？时间应该和矢泽在画坛发迹一致，因为经济变得宽裕多了。 以前偶而为之的逢场作戏，妻子就算有点不满也不会深究，当时她的精神还很正常。 铃惠频繁发狂，是从岩泽明美从濑户内海某城市跑来东京投靠矢泽开始的。那年春天，矢泽沿着濑户内海徒步写生旅行，在那个城市停留了大约一个星期。到了晚上，那里只有一条二三十分钟就能走完的商店街可逛，除此之外无其他去处。但奇妙的是，这个城市酒吧特别多，甚至还有两家所谓的夜总会。 明美就在其中一家工作。她的歌声非常动人，起先矢泽误以为她是某乐团的专属歌手，在舞台上的架势也很老练。她身材高挑，短发，瓜子脸配两弯柳眉。和某知名流行歌手有几分神似。她自己似乎也意识到了这一点，很喜欢模仿那位歌手的性感姿态。 她习惯一边甩动响葫芦一边唱歌，结束后就走到客人的桌边说说笑笑。看到她与客人共舞，矢泽才明白她是陪酒小姐。 向身旁的女人一打听，知道她名叫Akemi，事后得知她的本名是岩泽明美。矢泽把她叫来自己这桌，她本人没有舞台上看起来那么高，显得有些稚气，款款扭动柳腰的动作分明是在模仿那位知名歌手。明美拿起杯子，喝完两杯后两人双双走下舞池跳舞。她的身体没有那位歌手的那么有分量感。 矢泽在跳舞时开口相邀，明美点点头，双眼在灯光的照射下发出异彩，看起来只有二十二三岁。由于她是边笑边点头的，矢泽搞不清她是不是真的答应了，遂问她几点能离开？在哪里碰面比较好？他第一次来这家夜总会，本来并没作此打算，只是那时他一个人待在旅馆，每晚都很无聊，所以当下突然很想拥有明美。平时游戏人间的心态也被抛到了一旁，心中不免有些焦躁。 明美让他十二点左右到店旁边等她。她答应得实在太爽快，加上之前也有女人用这招放过鸽子，因此矢泽不免有点半信半疑。不过他还是把所住的旅馆和自己姓名告诉了她。那家旅馆在这个城市里算是一流。 矢泽回到桌旁正想离开，一名年约五十、身材矮小、体型瘦弱的女人走过来。明美向矢泽介绍说这位是妈妈