Chapter 13 dawn light

"It is indeed Madame Rimbaud." Rose said clearly. A white cloth covered Madame Rimbaud's face. Since Nakagaki Terumo was also asked to confirm the identity of the deceased, the body has not yet been put into the freezer. The cause of death of the deceased was suicide. In addition to leaving a suicide note, it can also be clearly determined from the appearance of the body, so forensic autopsy is not required. — both the doctor and the police said so. After the police officer who was originally staying in the ward went out, Rose stayed alone in a certain ward of K Hospital, guarding Mrs. Rimbaud's body alone.

She lifted the white cloth and stared at Mrs. Rimbaud's face again. "Mother……" Rose called softly. After Nakagaki told her about Toyoko Kurata, Rose began to suspect that her mother was still alive. In order to prepare teaching materials, she checked a lot of books introducing Japanese folklore, which included the following introductions for festivals: ——The Sunflower Festival was originally held on You Day in the middle of April in the lunar calendar, but it is now changed to May 15th... Every time she reads this, she will reflexively think of her mother's memorial day.

At the same time, on the day of the Aoi Festival in the second year after the end of the Great War, my mother brought a friend who was seriously ill and dying to go home. The two things were connected together, and suddenly a spiritual light pierced her chest. That was shortly after visiting Dr. Kitsugi in Himeji. "Ah!" She couldn't help but exclaimed. Finally, I have a little understanding of the factors behind Dr. Beishan's hesitation and weird behavior. (Does Dr. Beishan know that his mother is still alive?) Recalling Dr. Beishan's heavy voice, Rose suddenly felt a strange force drill into her body.

——Miss Rose, life is inherently fortunate and unfortunate...Too much worrying will lead to misfortune... —I have told you all I can say, and I have nothing to hide. ——There are some things you might not know better.No, it should be said that it is impossible to know, of course I didn't say this part... What is it that Rose cannot know?Isn't it the fact that her mother is still alive? (Do I look ignorant and pathetic?) When Rose walked out of Beishan's hospital, this idea suddenly appeared in her mind. I always feel that Dr. Beishan has been looking at her with pity.Probably anyone who knows that Tachibana Hisako is still alive will look at this kept-in-the-dark daughter with the same eyes.

If the mother was still alive and in Japan, she would definitely want to be close to her daughter—Rose thought. Since the incident with Mrs. Rosen, Rose?Gilmore's name appeared in major newspapers, which was equivalent to a free advertisement for her coming to Japan. However, Rose thought about it again and again, and there seemed to be no middle-aged woman around her mother's age. (Could it be Madame Rimbaud?) The reason for my doubts is that when I was dating Nakagaki, I heard him say that Mrs. Rimbaud specially warned me on the Wuchang: —Be a good man for Rose and don't ruin her dreams.

This exhortation seems a bit beyond the level of general concern. If the other party is not one's relatives, it will only make people feel that they are nosy. The more Rose thought about it, the more troubled she became. This trouble made Nakagaki worried.Originally, she planned to temporarily suppress her rushing thoughts while preparing for homework—— However, it was really unbearable for her to always have a heart hanging in the air. Whether or not my mother died twenty-three years ago, there is no definite evidence in the first place.Anyway, let's find out this first. (Check out Toyoko Kurata.)

After making up her mind, Rose came to Wenhuatang in Yasaka Street, Kyoto alone. I heard from Nakagaki that the boss of Wenhuatang and Toyoko Kurata are from the same village. It was not the proprietress who stood behind the counter that day, but a middle-aged man who seemed to be the owner of the shop.Rose bought a small Tamba teapot and asked casually, "Are you from Kyoto?" "I have lived in Kyoto for a long time, but I was born in Hiroshima." The boss replied. "Ah, really? I have friends in Hiroshima too...is it in the city?" "No, it's in N Village."

"Is it close to Hiroshima?" "It will take an hour by car." Hearing this, she decided to go to N Village to find out. When traveling with Nakagaki Hiroshima, she lied on the third day that she wanted to go to the countryside alone, but in fact she was going to N Village. In fact, the day before Rose went to Village Z, she realized that her mother was indeed Mrs. Rimbaud. Because I met Mrs. Rimbaud in Bizhishan Park. Rose knew that her mother would definitely stay by Imamura Keisuke's side.Since Imamura is in Hiroshima, Mrs. Rimbaud also appeared in Hiroshima. What does this mean?She noticed it right away.

At that moment, Rose's voice trembled and her whole body stiffened. And Mrs. Rimbaud's behavior is also very strange.Ordinarily, I haven't seen Rose and Nakagaki for a long time, and I should hope to chat more, but she left in a hurry on the pretext of leaving Hiroshima that day. Rose later understood that Mrs. Rimbaud had only come to Bizhishan Park to catch her breath. (That person's life is dying, and I'm afraid he won't survive today, so he must go back quickly.) The answer seems to have been revealed. The next day, Rose went to the household registration unit of village Z alone to read the transcript of the household registration.

Toyoko Kurata's household registration has been removed.That's because she married a foreigner in Showa 23 and lost her nationality. From this point of view, after the Gilmore house fire, Toyoko Kurata was still alive on the household registration. The next day, Rose learned of the death of Keisuke Imamura. For this man whom she had never met, knowing that there was no possibility of improvement, the news of his death would not bring much shock to Rose. (Mom's lover finally died.) At first, it was just a general feeling in my heart. When she returned to Hijiyama Park from Hospital D, Rose reconsidered the news of Imamura's death, pondering:

— Mr. Imamura is dead... Halfway through, I can't continue anymore. Then Rose almost shivered with fright. Because she discovers the terrible meaning behind Imamura's death. The reason why Rose's mother survived until now is all because of Imamura Keisuke. (Imamura died, and my mother also lost the courage to live.) Thinking of this, Rose was so excited that it was difficult to calm down. Mrs. Rimbaud said that she would go around the mountain and then set off for Kansai, which was an excuse. Rose wanted to turn back and ask when the hospital held Imamura's farewell ceremony. However, it is uncertain whether Mrs. Rimbaud will attend. (Even if my mother wants to die, she will appear in front of me again.) Rose said so to herself, and left Hiroshima at the same time. After returning to Kobe, she lived in anxiety every day. Reading the newspaper was also frightening, especially when the words "suicide" came into view, she couldn't help but close her eyes. Although I believed that Mrs. Rimbaud would definitely contact me, there was no news since then. Not long after, Kanazawa's aunt came to Kobe, stayed at Rose's house for one night, and then went to the foreigners' cemetery in Shuhohara the next day. (Mom will also go to worship today.) Rose had this hunch. Because today is the memorial day for Toyoko Kurata, who died instead of someone else. If Mrs. Rimbaud, Rose's mother, were to commit suicide, she would have chosen this day. (Would such a strong mother seek death?) To calm herself down, Rose thought. However, this hope was like a membrane, and it was instantly shattered with a stab. When Rose's mother knew that Imamura was terminally ill and rushed back to Japan from the United States, she might have thought of suicide in her heart. Now, Rose also guessed who was the murderer of Mrs. Lusen.Except for the mother who was almost killed by Mrs. Lusen twenty-three years ago, who else had a sworn feud with that woman? Over the years, Rose's mother had returned to Japan many times, whenever she wanted to murder her enemy, Mrs. Rosen. This time, Mrs. Lusen was finally killed—was it because Rose's mother had made up her mind to die? If Mrs. Rimbaud came to the Eucalyptus room rashly in the morning and met her younger sister Yasuko face to face, it would be a shame.Rose was worried about this. (If you want to come, I will definitely call first. And in terms of timing, I am afraid that the afternoon will be better.) Despite trying desperately to comfort herself, Rose still felt uneasy. When she arrived at the cemetery, she saw the bouquet of red roses for the first time, her heart tightened, and she thought: (Mom is already here!) Auntie said that because she had contacted by phone beforehand, the caretaker of the cemetery might have specially prepared a bouquet. Maybe that's the case. (Look it up and you'll find out.) Rose thought it would be best if Nakagaki and Auntie were not present when this question was asked. So, after the worship, she found an excuse, sent Zhong Yuan and her aunt to the pool, and went to see the administrator alone. After thanking the administrator, Rose asked: "There was a bunch of red roses on the grave just now, did you prepare them?" "No, we're not particularly..." The administrator replied suspiciously. (really……) Rose felt her heart beating so fast suddenly that she seemed to be shaking her body. "So, who was here just now?" Rose tilted her head, looking listless. "Ah..." The manager nodded sharply. "Only one lady came today." "When did this happen?" Rose asked breathlessly. "Not long before you guys came, less than ten minutes." "Thank you..." At this moment, she was not in the mood to talk about the cemetery at all. The cemetery of foreigners is covered with green turf.Rose walked quickly along the white cross. Since it was only ten minutes early, Mrs. Rimbaud probably hid deliberately because she saw Rose and the others. Maybe he was hiding behind a certain tree, watching Rose and the others bow down to the dead. If it was only Rose, maybe Mrs. Rimbaud would like to show up.However, she couldn't show her face in front of her sister who thought she was dead, because it would cause an uproar. (Mom, I'm alone now!) Rose yelled loudly in her heart, and at the same time walked towards the woods. Sure enough, under the sumac tree not far away, there was a woman in black sitting. Rose instinctively walked towards the woman. When they were about ten meters away, the woman under the sumac tree stood up and shook her hands while smiling—it was indeed Mrs. Rimbaud. "Huh? Isn't it Rose?" Mrs. Rimbaud spoke first. "I heard that the scenery here is very beautiful, so I came to have a look. We are really green, including Hiroshima, we have met many times by chance... This time I will stay in Kobe for a longer time, and I will call you in the evening." Rose came to her side, feeling the pain in her chest, she couldn't breathe, her head throbbed, and her tears flowed down involuntarily. "Mother……" A hoarse sound came from Rose's quivering lips. Mrs. Rimbaud stared at Rose for a long moment with round eyes.The eye sockets behind her silver-rimmed glasses also gradually turned red. "You know!?" Mrs. Rimbaud said, the voice was as thin as a mosquito. Rose nodded silently. "Sit down, I'm so tired." Mrs. Rimbaud said in a hoarse voice, and then sank down on the ground. Rose complied and sat down beside her. "When did you know?" asked Mrs. Rimbaud. "When the cherry blossoms bloom in April." After Rose finished answering, she quietly put her hand on her mother's wrist. After returning from Hiroshima, she kept imagining the scene of reuniting with her mother every day, and repeated in her heart what she wanted to say to her mother.It's just that there are too many things to say, and it's hard to sort out the clues. In addition to words, what she really wanted to express to her mother was her longing for more than 20 years. "yes?" Mrs. Rimbaud trembled slightly while staring at Rose's face. "The day after our meeting in Hiroshima, I went to Village N to investigate household registration." Rose spoke calmly, as if she was doing a procedure to complete the imaginary picture. "Well. Then I won't explain any more. It's a pain to explain!" Mrs. Rimbaud took Rose's hand, which covered her left wrist, with her right. They are in harmony with each other.This wonderful feeling is really hard to describe in words. It is not just a simple emotion, but a kinship that transcends reason. Birth mother—since Rose was sensible, that was a distant term.She now seems to be in a holy place isolated from the world. Although it is an ordinary performance, everything seems to be in a dream. "I went to Hospital D on the third day and heard the news of Mr. Imamura's death, so I was very worried about my mother." Rose said. She cuts to the chase and hits the nail on the head. "What are you worried about?" asked Mrs. Rimbaud. "Because Mr. Lingcun is dead, I'm afraid that my mother...will be overwhelmed and do something stupid!" "Ha, ha, ha!" Mrs. Rimbaud poured her strength into her hand, squeezed the back of Rose's hand, and said with a smile. "Are you worried about this?" "However, I also believe that my mother will find a way to meet me first before doing something stupid." "Well, didn't we meet today? I just watched your grave sweeping and felt that I have no regrets. That's right, just as you worried, I have done something stupid." "Stupid thing?" "I took poison." "what?" Rose looked directly into her mother's face. Mrs. Rimbaud closed her eyes as if avoiding Rose's gaze, and at the same time said each word with difficulty: "When I heard that the man was critically ill, my first reaction was to go back to Japan. Because as soon as he died, I was finished, completely finished. Before that, I wanted to go to England to see you first, but by mistake, I knew You are coming to Japan. The news was obtained from my friend in college, and he also told me about your travel agency and that you are going to take the Wuchang ship in Hong Kong. So, I also booked a ferry ticket from Hong Kong to Japan. I want to fly directly to Hong Kong, maybe there is time." "You made all these arrangements just to meet me?" When Rose spoke, tears slid down her cheeks and flowed into her mouth. "Yes." Mrs. Rimbaud nodded and finally opened her eyes. "We chatted a lot on the boat. Although you don't like dealing with my old woman very much, you can probably bear it... When I know that you want to investigate the affairs of your dead mother in Japan, you are terrified. Because in Japan Too many people will say bad things about me, I really can't bear to see you looking around in a hurry, and then face the shattered dreams... You are a good boy, I just want to protect you more." "Mother……" Rose called out excitedly, as if she would collapse if she didn't. "It doesn't matter, the effect of the medicine won't happen so quickly." Mrs. Rimbaud said quietly. "I have always hoped to die in Japan. If he is not in this world, I would be meaningless to live. The seventy-six-year-old Mr. Rimbaud is indeed pitiful, but my heart is even more sad...After chatting with you on the Wuchang , It rekindled my desire to live. I thought, I could live for him before, why can’t I live for my lovely daughter now?...Because I still have a little attachment to life!" "Mom, don't die!" Rose grabbed her mother's hand. "It's too late, I've taken the poison." "I'll take you to the doctor by car." "No need." Mrs. Rimbaud stroked the back of Rose's hand, "I should give up my attachment to the world. I have always acted simply and never dragged my feet." "But……" Rose felt the salty taste of tears in her mouth, which reminded her of blood. "However, I still can't bear it! I want to maintain a beautiful image in front of my lovely daughter, which is also a kind of attachment to the world. I just want to be the mother in your mind - I know you live in the eucalyptus house. It's a no-brainer to find out - to my surprise, Clara Russen lives next door to you... You know about Clara's holiday with me?" "Ok." After answering, Rose bit her lip. "I guess that woman is going to slander me, and maybe make up something out of nothing to lie to you... Clara is a very scary woman, and I can't let her talk nonsense about my daughter... So I took action." Although Rose had already burst into tears, Mrs. Rimbaud, with a calm expression, was now weeping from her reddened eyes. "Except for not wanting her to ruin my image," Mrs. Rimbaud went on. "In addition, there is a tragic past that remains in my heart. That is the greatest punishment I have received in my life." "You mean she told mother..." Rose sobbed. "yes." Mrs. Rimbaud muttered in a low voice, as if talking to herself. "You want revenge." "Revenge? Well, this idea is good, at least it will be psychologically balanced. You know, that woman did something terrible. Since you have been to Z village, you must know about Fengzi, right?" "That day, my mother brought her home..." "Who did you hear that from?" "The proprietress of Wenhuatang in Kyoto, she used to work in Shimomura." "That woman is terrible too... Oh! After I say it, it seems that every woman in the world is terrible. Your mother is so picky! But, that woman's treatment of Fengzi... Forget it, let's not mention it. Anyway, That night, Fengzi’s condition deteriorated rapidly. I called the doctor, but no one came, probably because the situation was not peaceful... I was about to drive Fengzi to the hospital by myself when I heard a strange sound Look out quietly, huh? Isn’t that Clara sprinkling gasoline? Of course, that heavy gasoline barrel couldn’t have been brought by that woman herself, and it might have been hidden in a corner of my house for a long time.” "Mom, stop talking!" Rose twisted her body and managed to get out the words. "I don't want to mention it again. But, I hope you can understand the truth. Please forgive your mother's stubborn nature!" "Okay, I'll listen." Rose closed her eyes after speaking. (Mom and I have similar personalities.) she thinks.Both like to stay the course.Now that my mother is dying, what else can I not bear? From Clara?Lu Sen has the key to the gate, and the family has already prepared gasoline cans. It seems that Rose's father is indeed an accomplice behind the scenes. This inference was embarrassing to Rose. "I didn't leave Fengzi alone. I hope you can understand the whole story... That day, I couldn't take my eyes off of it, Clara went to the back door, crumpled up the paper, lit a match, and lit the little fireball. I threw it to the back door, turned around and fled. The fire ignited violently with the help of gasoline. At that time, I wanted to escape with Fengzi on my back, but when I moved her, I found that she was dead... Although I Sad, but I have to escape alone. The fire has already started to spread, and it will be too late if I don’t leave. If I carry her on my back again, I’m afraid both of them will be buried in the fire pit.” "I understand, I understand." Rose repeated this sentence. "The next thing, I will also tell you." "Well, I'll be listening carefully...but, Mom, how are you?" "Well, it will take another twenty minutes for the medicine to take effect." "Mother!" Rose almost screamed. "Even if you drive me to Kobe in a car, it's useless. But we still have time to chat." "..." "I didn't think about anything, I ran desperately...to his side...in the hospital where he lived, there was a doctor I knew." "Is it Doctor Beishan?" "Huh? You know him?" "I met him." "You are amazing, you can even find Beishan... But, what happened after the fire was told by Doctor Beishan?" "No, he didn't say anything." "That's a secret between me and him. Actually, it was Kitasugi who came up with the idea of ​​pretending to be Toyoko Kurata." "Is it Doctor Beishan?" "Well, Dr. Kitasugi was not married at that time, and he lived alone in a broken house that survived the Kobe disaster and commuted to work. I cried until dawn that night. Really, you see, I can still say it now I shed tears, which shows how frightened I was at that time, and I was about to go crazy. Dr. Kitsugi promised me to check the situation the next day. When he came back, he told me: You are dead. Because of Toyoko Kurata’s age, My height is about the same as mine, so everyone mistook her body for me, and she was wearing my clothes, which made everyone believe that it was correct. Dr. Beishan persuaded me: Anyway, if someone wants to kill you, you will die at any time if you are alive. It’s dangerous, it’s better to continue to be mistaken for dead, it’s safer.” Having said this, Mrs. Rimbaud took a breath, as if she was very tired. "Why didn't you tell the police about Mrs. Russen's crime?" said Rose. There was no reproach in his tone, but he just wanted Mrs. Rimbaud to take a rest and worried that she was too tired. "I don't want to," replied Madame Rimbaud. "Because your father is also involved. Maybe he doesn't love me, but I worry about you as a child." "for me?" "That's just one of the reasons. In fact, I was physically and mentally exhausted at the time, and I just came back from the gate of hell. I only thought about how to save my life, let alone other things. Fortunately, when I left Fengzi, I didn't tell anyone my name. Only a few A good friend of mine knew about this matter... After weighing the pros and cons, I decided to impersonate Toyoko Kurata. The situation was critical at the time, so I had to follow Dr. Kitsugi's advice." After listening to Mrs. Rimbaud's words, Rose could finally understand why Dr. Beishan had a gloomy face and always looked at her with pity. Because in the process of Kilmore Hisako's transformation into Kurata Toyoko, Dr. Kitsugi was an accomplice. "He did it for the good of his mother." Rose can't help defending Bei Shan. "Indeed, this is the only way to think about it." "How to say?" "It wouldn't matter if I was alone, but..." Mrs. Rimbaud choked up so much that she couldn't make a sound. "Because you need money to treat Mr. Imamura's illness?" Rose said. "Yes." Madame Rimbaud replied in a low voice. "I have to go out to work to earn money, but how can a dead person find a job? At least in my hometown where there are many acquaintances, I couldn't stay any longer, so I had to move to Tokyo. It was very hard for a while... I wanted to give up several times, but I didn't. A voice shouted from the bottom of my heart: No matter what, we must persevere to the end. Maybe it’s the end of all hardships. At that time, I met Mr. Rimbaud. Although he was a bit older, he was rich and loved me very much... I looked again and For your father's marriage, I feel that once you marry Mr. Rimbaud, you can not only use the money freely, but also move to the United States, which is the best cover for a person who changes his status." "I see." Rose felt a big lump in her chest and up her throat and wished she could get it out of her mouth by howling. So Rose buried her face in her mother's lap and wept aloud. "Don't cry, don't cry... aren't you a strong child?" Mrs. Rimbaud comforted Rose as she stroked her back. Rose's shoulders shook violently. As if protesting against her mother's statement that she was a strong child, Rose's tears rolled down like a flood. "Be good, Rose, don't cry. Come on, watch your mother well, watch your mother well." Mrs. Rimbaud clasped Rose's shoulders and tried to lift her limp body. Rose wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and replied, "Yes." "Stand up!" said Mrs. Rimbaud, helping Rose up. The vibrant green of May unfolded before Rose's eyes like a backdrop. She snuggled up to her mother. Madame Rimbaud put her arms around her waist and said: "Let's go for a walk? At first I wanted to use this place as a burial place, but now I want to change it... There are graves everywhere, and dying here is like digging your own grave!" Rose looked sideways at her mother's face and thought: (What a strong woman!) However, there is still fragility hidden in the strong. It was a few fragile threads tangled among thousands of strong fibers that had thrown the chaos into Mother Rose's life. Like marrying Simon?Gilmore, being Mr. Rimbaud's wife, aren't these all masterpieces of vulnerability? Rose let her thoughts dwell on the subject indifferently. "As you can imagine, I've done a lot. It doesn't matter now. You have a right to know everything," said Mrs. Rimbaud. Rose cuddled up to her mother as she walked, thinking: (I was abandoned by my living mother when I was five. I was one of the victims of her weakness too!) "Have you met Mitsuko Kato?" asked Mrs. Rimbaud. "what?" Rose couldn't remember for a moment. "It's the man who came to see you at the Tokyo Hotel." "Ah, she said that she used to be a colleague of you at the Xiacun Chamber of Commerce..." "When I was working at the Shimomura Chamber of Commerce, I did have a female colleague named Kashiwa Mitsuko, who later married a man named Kato. But it's not the woman you saw." "Not me?" "The person who met you was a completely unrelated third party...she met me not long ago, she is a very eloquent insurance salesman, her real name is Yamamoto... I asked Yamamoto to pretend to be Kato Mitsuko and you Meet." "why?" "I'm sorry to say that I asked her to praise me...Of course, I didn't tell Yamamoto that I am your mother. I just said that the daughter of the deceased friend wanted to know more about her mother. Instead of being described by my confidant, it is better to tell It may be more convincing to pass the mouth of a third party. So I asked her to pretend to be Kato Mitsuko, and spent most of the day explaining many past events beforehand." "No wonder……" Rose remembered seeing the woman who claimed to be Mitsuko Kato in the hotel in Tokyo. At that time, Rose always felt that what the woman said was unreal. Only now did I suddenly realize the truth. No matter how good an insurance salesman is, just listening to other people's narration must act as if he has personally experienced it. After all, sincerity is not an easy task.Therefore, even if she exhausted all the words of praise, she could not move people in the slightest. Rose and her mother walked out of the foreigner's cemetery and went around inside. Rose quietly looked at her watch. Time passed by every minute, getting closer and closer to the moment when the mother died. How to get through this horrible time? "Nevertheless, I'm not at ease," continued Madame Rimbaud. "Of course Yamamoto didn't know my real identity, but in order to impress you, I finally revealed to my acquaintances what I had concealed for many years. My old friend was naturally taken aback. To him, I have always been a person who has been dead for many years. A ghost, he never thought he would see a ghost one day." "..." "When you came to Kanazawa, did you meet Mr. Izawa?" "Mr. Kanazawa? Well, we met by chance at Tangyong Hot Spring... He called and said that he saw my name in the passenger register." Rose spoke quickly, for time was so precious. "That's not accidental, but I asked Mr. Izer to do this." "Oh?" Rose stopped. "I thought Yamamoto alone couldn't satisfy your curiosity. Besides, for a person who can't figure out the ins and outs at all, no matter how much you brag, I'm afraid it won't hit the point... Do you feel the same after hearing what she said? ?” "Well, it's like memorizing a manuscript." "Sure enough, that's why I asked Mr. Izawa again. I knew you were going to Kanazawa, so I decided to take the first step and go to Xiaomoro." "To Xiaozhu?" "Yes, I managed to strike up a conversation with the abbot of Fazui Temple where Mr. Nakagaki is staying... I got Nakagaki out of him and bought two express tickets to Kanazawa, and I rushed to Kanazawa first. When you and Mr. Nakagaki got off the train , I was hiding on the platform and waiting. Then, I followed you to the travel agency to book a room, of course I changed my makeup...Anyway, I found out that you live in Tangyong Hot Spring." "Why didn't I notice?" "After I knew the hotel you were staying at, I started looking in the phone book and found Mr. Ize's phone number. I used Mr. Beishan's name. I knew that Beishan had a younger sister, so I said that my brother recited it in the name of Beishan's sister." Message, I want to invite Mr. Izawa to come out. To be careful, I deliberately changed my voice... Izawa and I also made an appointment at Kenrokuen, and I was always worried that it would be bad if we met you there! In front of Xixing’s writing tablet, Mr. Yi Ze couldn’t say a word when he saw me for the first time, but I tried my best to explain the whole story to him..." "Desperately..." Rose murmured and repeated Mrs. Rimbaud's words. As the minutes passed, Rose felt dizzy for a while. "It was a desperate effort," said Mrs. Rimbaud. "I guess you will look for my sister when you go to Kanazawa. Yasuko has always hated me, and probably won't say anything good. So, I have to ask Mr. Izawa to praise me. Mr. Izawa nodded despite his pale face. promise." Mrs. Rimbaud's tenacious willpower, sometimes even Rose is impressed. The two extremes of strength and weakness coexist in Rose's mother.As Dr. Beishan said, she is like a fireball rolling along a straight line, but the fragile straight line will be broken by the wind because it is too tight! She was believed to be dead but still alive. Now that Imamura died, she would immediately abandon her precious life.Whether this kind of self-destruction is strong or weak, even Rose can't tell. Madame Rimbaud continued: "When you went to the Peacock Hall, I followed behind. I waited for a long time, but I didn't see you coming out. I peeked into the store and found that the workers had brought your luggage in, as if they were planning to stay overnight...I wanted to keep you and Koko from So close, I deliberately wrote a letter in katakana and sent it by courier. Maybe it was too much care. On the one hand, I was afraid that Yasuko would speak ill of me, and on the other hand, I was also afraid that she would take my place... Didn’t she also Come to visit the grave? Probably scolded me badly." "No." Rose shook her head. "Auntie is just envious of you...Auntie said that my mother is so good that she wants to live in your shadow." "Then what does Mr. Izzy say about me?" Mrs. Rimbaud seems to be very interested in the plays she wrote and directed, and she is very interested in knowing how it will work. "He said that my mother was one of the most outstanding women at that time. I am afraid that no one in the world can understand your true value." "Oh... I made an unreasonable request to Mr. Izawa. However, I believe that person, no matter what happens, he will not tell my secret... Mr. Kitasugi is like this, and Mr. Izawa will do the same in this way." The people Mrs. Rimbaud believed were all her ex-boyfriends! There are many red pine trees in the back mountain, occasionally mixed with a few mountain cherry trees. Mrs. Rimbaud looked around, pointed to the red pine in front of her and said: "That tree is beautiful. Don't you think it is the most lush tree?" Rose felt like a sap had been tapped on her chest. For the mother is choosing her death-- "Mom, mother..." Rose grabbed Mrs. Rimbaud's wrist with both hands and shook it like a child. "It's time." Mrs. Rimbaud also said in the tone of teaching children. "Let's sit here for a while, and it will be over in one click." Rose couldn't remember how she and her mother walked under the red pine tree. The heart is no longer throbbing.After finally getting there, she felt that all the remaining strength in her body had disappeared. When Mrs. Rimbaud sat down under the red pine tree, Rose also sat on the ground shaking like a puppet. Madame Rimbaud took her handkerchief from her purse. "Wipe your tears...Come on, I have to see Yasuko and the others later." After finishing speaking, she gently pressed Rose's chin with her left hand, and then carefully wiped away the tears on her face. Rose allowed herself to be manipulated by her mother. Mrs. Rimbaud then wiped her own face, taking out her compact and lipstick at the same time. "Wipe it and you'll feel much better. Come on, put on some powder and some lip balm." "it is good." Rose Yishu nodded, and took the compact and lipstick. She had borrowed cosmetics from friends before, and always felt that the smell was a little different from her own. However, the cosmetics that her mother borrowed from her not only smelled the same, but even the lipstick color was exactly the same. After putting the compact and lipstick in her purse, Mrs. Rimbaud took out her notebook, opened it, and pointed to the first page. "Write your name and address here." "it is good." Rose meekly left her name and the address of Eucalyptus House. "In this way, when the police find my body, they will definitely contact you first, because there is no other information." "Mom, why?" Rose suppressed the grief in her heart and asked choked up. "I don't know, maybe it's the best way to do this. I've planned for this day for a long time... Ah, there's one more thing I almost forgot." As Mrs. Rimbaud said, she took out the compact and lipstick again, and wiped them carefully with a handkerchief, even the notebook. Even Rose, who was in an extremely excited state, could understand the meaning of these movements.Mother wanted to erase Rose's fingerprints. Although she hopes that Rose will be the first to be summoned to identify the body, she worries that her daughter will become a suspect. "I even have a suicide note ready." Mrs. Rimbaud pulled out the letter from the envelope, unfolded it in front of Rose, and said, "Please read it, but don't leave fingerprints." goodbye-- The first paragraph of the suicide note contained only two words, and Rose continued to read: I thought about it a lot, and finally decided that instead of being entangled in troubles, it would be better to die for liberation.I don't want to mention any troubles.Probably because of living abroad for a long time, my mind was confused and nervous.My husband is old and has dementia, we have no children. I don't have any hope for the future, and there is darkness in front of me. I just want to end my life in the land of my birth no matter what. If I go back to the United States right now, I'm afraid I will lose the courage to seek death, and I can only let myself wither day by day, and finally go away.If this is the case, why not use your own hands to end your life! Goodbye, this suicide note is not signed to anyone. Because there isn't even a single person to say hello to.I wanted to write another suicide note in English to my husband, but I’m afraid I don’t have to. Anyway, he is so demented that he can’t read. I have no relatives in Japan, and I left two thousand dollars at the P Hotel in Tokyo, please use it as funeral expenses.I don't need a funeral, and I don't need a grave. I am a person who has nothing to do with Buddha. Sorry for your trouble—— When Rose finished reading, Mrs. Rimbaud asked, "What do you think?" "this……" Rose read the suicide note, and her mood calmed down. 因为她的母亲并没有在遗书内写出任何实话，也就是说，那些可怕的事实将随着母亲死去而被尘封遗忘——想到这里，罗丝油然生出一种类似安心的感觉。 “这样可以吧？”兰波太太笑着说。 “可是不像一般的遗书呢。”罗丝回答。 "yes?" “妈妈也是，一点都不像快要死的人。” “呵、呵，因为我已经死过一次了啊。嗯，用这个信封放遗书会不会有点奇怪？” 兰波太太用两根手指夹起装着遗书的信封摆了摆，说道。 那是一只粉红色的信封。 “好像应该用来装情书。”罗丝说。 她对自己的话吃了一惊。料想不到在这个节骨眼，居然还有闲情说些无聊的事。 “在遗书里，”兰波太太说。“我写的也不是谎话。只不过隐瞒某些事实罢了。” “那不是和不留遗书没有两样？” 罗丝说完后，被自己草率的措辞吓了一跳。 好像有一些不是出自她本意的话，受了引诱似地脱口而出。 （这种情境是妈妈营造的。） thought Rose. 母亲曾经为了给罗丝制造完美的假象，刻意请保险推销员假冒加藤光子，还像幽灵地现身吓人，只为请伊泽出马。 虽然那一切到后来都被拆穿，但她这回是否又想在女儿心目中留下其他的印象呢？ 这个念头在罗丝脑际闪过。 兰波太太不停用手指抚弄信封，说： “也有道理啊。不过，这封信只是用来证明我是自杀。至于真正的遗书，不是已经刻在你的心版上了？难道这样不好吗？” “刚才您所说的话，便是遗书？”罗丝问。 “是啊。那些话将会永远在你的心底，不会消失。” “嗯，我不会忘记的。” 嘴里回答着，罗丝的疑惑却越来越深。 母亲会刻意安排加藤光子与伊泽和她见面，为什么不会安排她自己和女儿在此刻相遇？ （不可能！） 罗丝强烈地否定了。 假如金泽的阿姨不来找她，罗丝会想到这儿扫墓吗？既然已知母亲还活着，那么便没有必要在所谓的祭日前来扫墓。 如此一来，她便不可能和母亲相遇。 但是，她的母亲很想亲口对女儿诉说遗书的内容。 “妈妈，您猜得出我晓得您还活着吗？” “不晓得，所以我也吓了一跳……不过，上回在广岛碰面时，我便觉得你的神情有点僵硬。” “假如我什么都不知道，您会一直瞒着我吗？还是会在我的心头用永不褪色的墨水留下遗书。” “嗯，我想我会告诉你实情……或许你会受到惊吓，但我认为你是个坚强的女孩……而且，你一辈子都不会忘记妈妈。” 兰波太太把遗书的信封放进皮包，然后用手摸索了一阵子，不知找什么东西。 “可是，妈妈怎能预测到临死之前可以见到我？就算您躲在一旁看到了我，能坦然走出来碰面，同时交代刚才那些话？” 罗丝像是要调整混乱的呼吸，如此间道。 “中垣先生是个好人。”兰波太太岔开话题。“虽然有点优柔寡断，不过至少是个表里一致的人。这样的男人可以带给女人幸福。我一宜搞不懂你父亲，直到现在我仍怀疑……火灾过后，你父亲是否知道死者并不是我……” “妈妈，您还没回答我的问题。为什么不回答？” 罗丝用力抓住母亲的手腕。由于兰波太太的右手仍放在皮包里，所以罗丝一摇晃，皮包也跟着一阵晃动。 “你问的问题，”兰波太太缓缓地说。“我早该回答。” “妈妈……您并不是刻意来见我的，对不对？反而是我怀疑您来过，才找到了您。既然您不预期我们会碰面，怎么可能已经吞下毒药？……倘使您已经服下毒药，却未能与我见到面，如此离世岂不是太过遗憾？” 罗丝一面忘我地瞪着兰波太太的脸，一面说道。于是，她握住对方手腕的力气不由得减小。 就在这时候，兰波太太放在皮包内的右手突然握拳，挣脱了罗丝的控制。 同时，那只右手飞快地抬起来移到唇边，把一个东西塞进口中。 罗丝想要阻止，却已经来不及。 只不过是一瞬间的事。 罗丝急忙再度用力抱住母亲的胳臂，使出浑身之力想把它拉开。 然而，当兰波太太的手离开嘴巴时，手上已空无一物。 “没错。”兰波太太闭上眼睛。“我的确没有服用什么至多再活半小时的毒药。而且，恐怕也没有这种药吧。如你所料，我什么药也没吃……我没有向你和盘托出以前，是不会贸然吃药的。可是，现在我的心愿已了，我可以安心地离开人世。这个药的药效在两分钟内就会发作。” "Mommy mommy……" 罗丝疯狂地呼唤着，同时摇晃母亲的身体。 然而，兰波太太已咕咚一声往后仰躺在地上。 “罗丝，把妈妈的衣服裙襬弄好。” 这是罗丝之母最后的遗言。 兰波太太再度睁开眼，凝视趴伏在她身上的罗丝片刻之后，还是闭上了眼。 然后，下巴微微蠕动，仿佛在点头说——再见。 罗丝失魂似地半张着嘴，坐在草地上，陷入恍惚状态。 也许只是过了几秒钟吧，她才恢复神智。 兰波太太的脸朝向罗丝。 脸色惨白。 罗丝脑子里一片茫然。 摸了摸母亲的手腕，已经触不到脉搏。 仔细一看，右手的掌心上还沾着一些白色粉末。 接着，再把手放在母亲胸口，也感觉不到心脏的跳动。 （不要想任何事！） 罗丝命令自己。 同时一经提醒，不安有如波浪般摇撼着内心。 （我现在所做的只是例行公事。） 罗丝为自己的行为提出说明。 既然只是例行公事，便不带任何感情。 （还有什么可以做的？） 为了防堵情感泛流，她亟需找点事做。 她想起母亲最后的遗书——把我的衣眼裙襬弄好。 其实兰波太太的衣服一点儿也没乱，尽管如此，罗丝还是依书把裙子拉直，把衣襟弄正。 （我必须堵上感情的决堤口，而且要筑很高很高的堤坊……） she thinks. 现在不是沉溺于悲叹母亲之死的时候。 接下来，必须尽快回到阿姨和中垣身边，一滴眼泪也不能流。 她从皮包里拿出一直摆着的镇定剂，一次连吞三颗。 （接下来，必须理智地处理一些事！） 她再三叮咛自己。 她知道自己的脸色肯定白得吓人，于是一边用双手揉搓双颊，一边站起身。刚开始举足时，步履蹒跚，似乎还无法行走自如。 她勉强拖着踉跄的步伐离开母亲的尸体。直到看不见母亲的尸体时，她才颓然跌坐在地。 她坐着休息了好一阵子。 水池边不时传来欢愉的笑声—— 至少必须赶在阿姨和中垣他们起疑心以前，恢复正常。 过了好一阵子，才觉得失去的力气回到体内——同时，她的脑子里也开始盘算，应该采取什么态度应对别人。 她站起身，缓缓走向水池。 一方面努力克制情绪不显露出来，一方面又不能面无表情，罗丝只好尽可能使神色及行为看起来正常。 或许做得并不自然，总感到中垣狐疑的目光一直在打量着——罗丝有此感觉。 她担心自己心绪不稳无法开车，所以好不容易开到中突堤送走阿姨之后，便也叫中垣下车。 她害怕一个人，却不得不独处。 （还有什么事可以做？） 她以为找点事做，便可使自己不致沉溺在纠缠不清的情绪中。 修法原赤松下横躺着母亲的遗体——这样的情景陡然浮现在罗丝的脑际。 面容依旧安详。 可是，让遗体躺在那里接受日晒雨淋…… 她简直无法承受这个念头。 （一定要让人尽快发现妈妈的遗体！） 于是等中垣搭出租车走了之后，罗丝走到公用电话亭，拨一一零的号码。 “喂，在修法原外国人墓地的树林里，有一个女人躺在那边，动都不动，不知道怎么了。” 对着话筒一口气说完，她不留姓名地挂上电话。 当初告诉中垣说要还车，只是个借口。她和车主已经约好第二天在尤加利屋的停车场碰面。 开车行经市镇时，把全副精神都放在驾驶盘上，无暇思及其他。 直到回宿舍，罗丝才飞奔进房间，打开心防，让贮积甚久的情感一股脑儿地渲泄出来。 罗丝扑倒在床上号啕大哭。 她不必再有所顾忌，尽情让泪水汩汨流下。 她啜泣着走进浴室，冲了个澡，然后再裸身倒在床上，放声大哭。 现在她只有借着流泪，使自己不致崩溃。 直到没有泪可流，她才再度进浴室淋浴。 胸口闷得很，一点食欲也没有。 天黑了，她没点灯，直接躺在黑暗中。莫名的疲倦袭卷而来。 电话铃声把她吵醒，是警察打来的。 警察表示在一名自杀者的皮包里，找到写了罗丝的地址及电话的笔记本。 “请立刻到K医院来好吗？” 罗丝在K医院再度目睹母亲的遗容。 听说警方在兰波太太的皮包里找到护照，所以也请美国领事馆的人来鉴定身分。 不久中垣来了，他和罗丝一样提出证词：“这位的确是兰波太太。” “不会耽误太多时间。我们只想询问一下兰波太太在船上的情形，请稍等一下。” 穿制服的刑警把罗丝和中垣引到另一个房间。 在这个空荡荡、充满药味的房中，两人面面相观。 中垣望向窗外，低声说：“我们去坐船的时候，你和母亲见了面，对不对？” "Ah?" 罗丝吃了一惊，不由得从椅子上站起身。中垣把视线投向罗丝。 “中垣，你已经知道了？” 当视线相遇时，罗丝如此问道。 “嗯，刚刚才想到的。因为今天是葵祭……” 罗丝把椅子挪到中垣身边，“连你都知道了啊！或许爸爸也察觉出妈妈还活着……” “有可能。从事那种工作的人都特别敏感。”中垣说。 “怪不得爸爸在墓碑上刻着MANY DAWNS SHALL BREAK。如他所说，妈妈在其后依旧迎接了许多个清晨……而且是二十三年的清晨！” 罗丝在心底把墓志铭重复默念一次。 她好像觉得心被揉成了一团。 只要想到终其一生都要独自背负这个秘密，罗丝便气闷到难以呼吸。 可是，现在还有另一个人可以帮她承担。 罗丝毫不迟疑地伸出手，握住中垣的手。 中垣也把罗丝拥入怀里，手重重地反握回去。 （又是崭新的一天！） 罗丝清楚地看见。 眼前出现强烈的拂晓之光。在眩目的光芒里，马歇尔事件、宪兵上尉之死、基尔摩家的火灾都消融了。而鲁森太太的死也随着匿名的立花久子之死，埋葬在万丈光芒中—— 这是明亮的拂晓之光。 但是，接下去迎接她和中垣的每一个清晨，都将比这个还要恂烂夺目—— (Finish)