Chapter 10 G's story

Three days later, Yoshinori Shimada inquired about Keisuke Imamura, the French translator of "Manyoshu", from a friend at the B newspaper office. Imamura is currently living in the D Hospital in Hiroshima City, and he seems to be quite weak.Although I don't know the details of my condition, whether I can meet visitors, and even if I meet visitors, whether I can talk about my former lover are all problems. Nakagaki thought, no matter what, let Rose know first. ——Thank you for your trouble. Nakagaki was probably worrying too much, he felt that Rose's voice was unexpectedly polite.

The next day, a letter was sent to Shousunji Temple, with Kumamoto's address and Yoshioka Jiro's signature on the envelope.But it's no ordinary letter, it's like a magazine. (Did you write such a thick letter?) With anticipation, Nakagaki opened the envelope, only to see that there was indeed a magazine inside, but there was no letter. On the cover of the magazine, there are two large characters of "Yushi" printed in Song Dynasty, and there are about a hundred pages. Taking the name of jade may be because jade and stone are similar in appearance, but their content is very different.

Nakagaki couldn't figure out why Yoshioka used this magazine instead of replying. (what happened?) Nakagaki opened the cover suspiciously, planning to browse the catalog first.It turned out that between the two pages of the catalog, there was a piece of letter paper folded in half, which floated down to Nakagaki's feet. Nakagaki picked up the letter paper and opened it. It was a note.Nakagaki read the end of the letter first, confirmed that the sender was Jiro Yoshioka, and then read from the beginning—— This (G's story) was published at the front of the magazine. Nakagaki walked to the small table and started to read.Since Yoshioka specifically specified that he should decide whether to tell Rose after reading it, which made him extra cautious.

(G's story) reads as follows: I heard people say that S. G died in London. When I got the news from my friend, honestly, I was a little bit surprised that he was still alive. Counting his age, G is only in his sixties, so he cannot be called an old man.G was in his thirties when I met him, but he looked very old. In short, G is what everyone calls premature aging. His personality is taciturn and he is a quiet gentleman.However, this is not the only reason why he looks old.I feel that this person has had many special experiences.In his character, there is a contradiction between toughness and fragility.

Too strong or too weak is human nature.If a person is weak, then in his experience, he often has the strength and resilience to emerge from adversity; if a person is strong, then after hitting a wall, the strength becomes fragile and fragile in an instant. G is an espionage officer who has received special training in the United Kingdom.He first engaged in espionage work in Shanghai, China, and came to Japan for the same mission in Showa 9. So far I still doubt that the so-called espionage is just a simple profession, or it must be backed by a strong patriotism. G chose to buy and sell antiques as a cover for espionage.He collects oriental antiques and resells them to European or American collectors.

Later, when G was under investigation by the Japanese Gendarmerie, he had undergone expert tests.The results of that test proved that his knowledge and appreciation of antiques were no less than that of the so-called experts. Judging from the fact that G is engaged in antique trading, he is quite successful. G studies desperately, maybe he is interested in antiques in the first place, so he wants to use this industry as a disguise. In short, G is easily reminiscent of the celadon he puts in the shop, the color is so deep and bottomless.I think he is only suitable for this industry. From the surface, celadon will show various colors with the light. Similarly, G's psychology has many layers.

After arriving in Japan, in order to conceal his identity, he started trading in antiques.Soon, he was suddenly irradiated by strong light, and his inside changed color like celadon. The source of the light is a Japanese woman named H. He met H in an antique shop in Kyoto. H is a clerk in this antique shop, and she has a lover who lives in the hospital.In order to raise medical expenses for her lover, she sacrificed herself, hoping to find a big brother who was willing to spend money. H is a person who emits a special light, and he has confessed this to Mr. G from the very beginning. ——I want to give him the best, so I need money.

She made it clear. G knows that H's lover cannot be cured, and he looks forward to time to solve his love problem.Therefore, he proposed the following conditions for H's request: —Let's get married officially. Hospitalization costs money. It’s not that G hasn’t thought about it, but H, in order to maximize the effect of self-sacrifice, even asked his lover to receive the most advanced treatment at that time.This is beyond G's expectations. We don't know what the budget of the British spy agency was, but Britain's finances at that time should have been quite difficult. The funds for G to open an antique shop come from the intelligence agency, and any profit or loss must be reported to the superior.

After getting married, G's living expenses or intelligence collection costs have skyrocketed, but the money given to him by the government has not increased. At the same time, his secret mission was also learned by his wife H.Originally, as a spy, he should have the ability to hide even the closest people, but H is very sensitive, so he was caught right away. In any case, based on the fact that he is Japanese, H really wanted to get her husband to give up his spy work. But she dared not tell the truth. Because H's lover is bound to be unable to continue receiving treatment as soon as he leaves G every day.

G was most troubled by financial matters, and he would tell his wife: ——If I hadn’t been a spy, how could I have saved your lover? But, after all, excess spending cannot be sustained forever. As a result, G had to defect to the enemy. He thought of a way to increase his income - linking up with the Japanese spy agency, which is what most people call counter-espionage. Of course, G is subject to the surveillance of his superiors at any time, but establishing a relationship with an enemy country is one of the ways to obtain intelligence.And in order not to make the watchers suspicious, he could also give some information to the Japanese side to prevaricate.In short, G used ingenious means to hide from his country's intelligence agencies and became a double agent.

All of G's thoughts are to raise medical expenses for H's lover, and to satisfy H's patriotism. G betrayed his scourge.Whether this is his weakness or his strong side, I am afraid it is beyond our ability to judge. After the economic problems were solved, G had new troubles. People who don't mind betraying their country must be cruel and ruthless-I don't think so. At that time, I had just been transferred from the political section of the B newspaper to the Kobe branch, and the gendarmerie immediately asked me to assist the counterintelligence G. It is very natural for spies to inquire about news and hang out with reporters from local newspapers, especially if the other party is a reporter who specializes in running political pages. The twists and turns are too professional to repeat here. In a word, we are mainly engaged in the work of information exchange. This is the beginning of my relationship with G. Of course I know that Mr. G was paid to do counter-espionage.Maybe G thought it was an unbearable humiliation for me to see through him. Most of the time he met me with his head down.Especially when I give him money, his head hangs even lower. -Life is like a boat in a storm. One night when we were having dinner together, G suddenly said this in a rather sad tone. I couldn't guess his true intentions, so I kept silent.He continued: —I don't think anyone can escape the arrangement of fate... How small is the self-will compared with fate!We rise and fall with the waves, even if the weather is calm, we are still adrift on the sea. … These words are rich in meaning and very philosophical. ——Do you mean that life is out of control?What about love? I asked. ——People are together by chance, and once you fall in love with someone, you can't extricate yourself... It seems that branches and leaves are blooming from the roots of a chance encounter. Life is actually very hard. he answered. He never invited me to his house because he didn't want to be too noticeable.However, I know a lot about him.Since he is an anti-spy, everything he does has a 180-degree change.In other words, sometimes in order to facilitate the collection of intelligence, he will deliberately violate the instructions of the motherland.Of course, the Japanese side has never slackened the monitoring and investigation of his actions, lest he pretend to betray. During this investigation, I naturally understood the relationship between G and his wife H. G originally expected something that could be improved with time, but it didn't go well.Because his wife's lover actually gradually recovered after receiving the best medical treatment.What a tragedy!It may seem strange to say that the recovery of the patient would be a tragedy, but it was true of Mr. G. H thanked G at the beginning.But after knowing that her husband was working as a spy, she felt that the kindness she had received had been offset, and she owed nothing to anyone. When G was working as a spy, he was assisted by a French woman named K. If G wants to defect to the enemy, he must first convince K. This Mrs. K. is a beautiful widow who likes to flirt with men. In order to conceal the fact that he betrayed his country's intelligence and governance unit, G had to keep her mouth shut, that is, to find a way to win over her.For K, the most effective way to win favor is to sleep with her. ——Therefore, G pretends to fall in love with K. From the very beginning, H hated K, who was of the same sex, from the bottom of his heart, as the saying goes, there is no room for sand in the eyes of lovers. This annoys G very much. First of all, the wife changed from a grateful position to a reciprocal mood, and K's intervention made her even more resentful.And K has mastered G's weakness. Another thing that bothers him is work. I know from the gendarmerie that their relationship with G is not good. They always think that the information provided by G is not important, and strictly order him to collect more important information.Specifically, it is required to completely destroy the intelligence of the British spy network in Japan.To put it more bluntly, the Japanese side knows nothing about who G's boss in Japan is and how his organization operates. ——I know you are in a difficult situation, but since you have awakened at the beginning, you should persevere, otherwise I will be very troubled here. I told him. ——If you were me, would you expose your boss?Let's move on. G resisted. However, from the perspective of Japan, instead of paying attention to the future use value of G as a counter-espionage, it is better to let it destroy the current espionage organization first. A few days later, I had to give G an ultimatum. ——If you don't name your boss again, I'll have to arrest you. The gendarmerie took a stand. I promised the distressed G that as long as he confessed the mastermind, his family and life would be safe and sound. --Let me think about it. G replied hesitantly. But the next day, he confessed M's name.In just one day, he suddenly became very haggard. What is the cause, what is the result? When G decided to be a counter-espionage, he should have also anticipated the current predicament and the difficulties he may face in the future. Perhaps G thought things too simply at the beginning. However, the reality is developing towards the worst. The M he confessed decided to keep his mouth shut because he was afraid that the secret would be leaked——he jumped to his death from the interrogation room on the third floor.The guard in charge of the guard was negligent for a while, and it was too late to prevent the tragedy from happening. Due to the entrustment of the authorities, I had no choice but to get involved in this incident, and I also learned many inside stories that ordinary people have no way of knowing.Of course, I was not there when M committed suicide, so I cannot tell the exact truth.Moreover, even the gendarmerie officer closest to me was unwilling to tell me any secrets. At that time, I suspected that M was actually tortured to death, and the gendarmerie pretended to commit suicide in order to deceive the world-this situation was very likely to happen at the time. To be honest, at first I was only skeptical, but then my doubts became more and more serious, even to the point of half-belief. Why do I suspect that M was tortured to death instead of committing suicide?This is related to G's subsequent temperamental change. I don't know when he became like a devil. Perhaps it was after the torment of that day that made him haggard that his temperament began to change drastically. Not long after M was arrested, G was also arrested.The reason was that if he did not do so, G would be suspected by the secret service of his own country. . In the past, I acted as the liaison between G and Japan.But after G was arrested, he could communicate directly with the gendarmerie without hiding from others. ——Please kill M. Perhaps G will make such a request to the Japanese military. Judging from the circumstances at the time, M's death was nothing less than a great boon to G.First of all, once M dies, the secret will no longer be leaked, and G can be released; at the same time, it is also a good way to ensure that there will be no future troubles. Since the development of things is too favorable for G, I have to consider this possibility.However, at that time, I immediately dispelled this idea. ——G is by no means such a person. It wasn't until I discovered that G had become like a devil that I realized that the denial seemed too fast and the basis was too weak. In short, the incident ended with M committing suicide, another downstream Chinese student was deported, and G was acquitted. Later, the Japanese spy agency found someone else to be in charge of contacting G.Changing liaison officers is also one of the characteristics of espionage work.And because of this, I can have a relatively deep personal relationship with G. Since I became friends with G, I was often invited to his house, so I became familiar with H. Time flies, and the war is over in a blink of an eye—— For G, the end of the war really does not know how it feels. G is a rebel, and the rebel must be punished—this is the premise of doing it under certain circumstances. During the war, G successfully obtained Japanese nationality, and it was done with the instruction of the superior authority of his motherland.So even if he is proven treasonous, he can still be protected because of his status as a Japanese national.More practically speaking, since the two countries do not have diplomatic relations, the British government seems to have nothing to do with G. However, G intends to hide his fact that he is a counter-espionage. When the war was over, he made contact with the secret service of his country, while putting himself in the position of ruin if he was found treasonous. At that time, I once visited G's house.I am ashamed to say that this trip is actually to pick up some foreign-made food. G happened to be away, and my wife came forward to receive me. She happily took out what I asked for, but she refused to accept the money anyway. "I have something to discuss with you." H begged.I knew I couldn't hide, so I simply sat down in the living room. G's home in Kobe narrowly escaped the devastation of the war. "I will be killed by G!" She immediately yelled straight to the point. "how come……" My reaction at the time was that she was probably joking, or she discovered the relationship between G and K and deliberately exaggerated it. However, H's next statement is not groundless, but well-founded. She said that once her husband forgot to lock the drawer, and she found a bottle of poison in it.Because of her long-term care for her sick lover, her understanding of medicine is no less than that of medical staff. Facing his wife's questioning, G only said indifferently: ——As I am engaged in this kind of work, of course I have to prepare this kind of medicine. "Maybe you worry too much." I comforted her. "If our husband and wife are as loving as ordinary people, maybe I will believe his words. However, the situation is far from that. Now, we are either eating people or being eaten!" H is very beautiful, otherwise how could G know that she has a lover, but still fall in love with her with all his heart. However, I feel that her beauty can give people a sense of oppression, as if there is no room to breathe, everything is squeezed together. Her stiff tone befitted her appearance. "yes?……" I had no choice but to echo it casually. "Do you know K?" she said. "K likes G. She is a simple person, she does whatever she thinks of. Recently, she is begging G to divorce me." "No matter how bad she says, you and your husband don't get along for a day or two, and you can't just break up your relationship..." In order to reassure her, I repeatedly comforted her.But she is not an easy woman to persuade. "K has a trump card for my husband... She can threaten him with telling the British government about his betrayal of the motherland. This puts considerable pressure on him. I, like K, have a trump card, and I asked my husband to give up his relationship with K... It was as if K and I were dueling with the same weapon. We held the same weapon against my husband.” (G is so neighborly...) I can't help feeling extremely sympathetic for G who is being cornered by two women with the same weapon. "Do you feel sorry for G?" As if reading through my mind, Madam said.Meticulous women have a sensitive heart. "Well..." I had to admit. "If I'm softhearted, I'm screwed. This is war. G is a fighter too, and to pity him is to despise him!" "look down?" "G is not a man who would face a challenge and walk away shamelessly. What do you think will happen to him?" "this……" "Actually, I know very well. Whether it's me or K...he will get rid of us without hesitation. This is not an exaggeration. I know G too well. He has a soft personality, just like Hamlet. Before making a decision, he always He vacillates, but once he makes up his mind, he will go forward bravely regardless of everything. When you see him betraying the motherland, isn't it like this?" "so……" I recalled the process of G's whole personality changing in one day, and his behavior did change completely in line with the new decision afterwards. "He was persecuted by two women, and at the same time, these two women also held trump cards... G can only be freed by killing us, it must be so." Hearing this, I couldn't help but think of M's suicide by jumping off a building.My doubts about this incident gradually increased with Madam's words. "Really?……" I can only make a vague sound again. "There is nothing to doubt." Madam said firmly. "I know very well that once I challenge him, I will definitely die. So I dare not sleep at night. Although we have separate rooms now, as long as he is determined, it is not a problem to lock the room... And I have no one to tell. Because if It is too complicated to explain the ins and outs. You are different. You are very clear about our husband and wife. You don’t need to say much to understand... If one day I suddenly encounter misfortune, it is likely that G did it... Maybe he will arrange it very cleverly, but please investigate carefully and redress my grievances... please." I gazed upon her fair face, sure: (She's not suffering from persecutory delusions.) "I know." I replied sincerely. "Hope this tragedy never happens." "I prayed the same way. It's just that G will do anything to protect himself. He must be thinking now whether he should kill me first or K first. K knows nothing about the hidden crisis. This idiot A woman only knows how to hum a song every day and live a leisurely life. Because she is stupid, she doesn't have to worry too much. A stupid woman is easy to deal with. Even if you are an enemy of her, you don't have to be too afraid... Thinking about it this way, G's partner must be me. " She maintained her usual calm demeanor despite such a horrific subject.I even found her calm demeanor creepier than the content of her conversation. She continued the topic—— "Perhaps you think I'm too calm. There's a reason for that." She saw through my mind again.But it was her words that really surprised me. "Why?" I asked. "The reason why I'm not too nervous is because I know that G has another strong enemy. That person is much more difficult than me and K. G once said to me that he wants to break up with K, but he can't be too eager. I have to entangle with her for a while. I believe he has said similar things to K. That stupid woman K must be more deceptive than me. As long as we don't use our tricks, everyone will be fine." "Then who is G's rival?" "You know that person too." "Oh?……" She showed her white teeth and smiled, but it was a pity that she didn't smile sincerely.Restraining her smile, she said a name. I do know that person very well. He was the former Japanese military police captain who was in charge of buying G.Because of his involvement in espionage work, this person also went into hiding after the war. "Interesting, isn't it? The gendarmerie captain also used the same weapon as us. I heard that he was short of money, so he threatened my husband to give me money, otherwise I would reveal my husband's betrayal of the motherland. G did give him money three times .If G decides to kill people, he will start with the gendarme first, and then it will be K and I." Although her expression was very calm, when the word "murder" came out of her mouth, it still made people shudder. Soon something happened that was giving me chills from my back to my chest. The former gendarmerie captain was murdered. The body lay in a burnt-out house in Kobe, where it was shot with a pistol. The war was just over, the police force was pretty weak, and similar atrocities were happening everywhere.Ordinary people regard this murder case as a vendetta of profiteers doing black market business, fighting each other for territory. Only I know who the murderer is.But I have no evidence to prove that everything comes from G's scheme.I knew the history and friendship of the former gendarmerie captain who was killed, so I couldn't find any other suspects except G. I immediately called G's home. It's Mrs. G doesn't seem to be home. "The captain of the gendarmerie was killed." I still remember my voice being hoarse and trembling.On the contrary, it was the lady's voice that came out of the microphone, which seemed unusually calm. "As I said, right?...It will be my turn next. Well, of course I will be careful. If there is anything wrong, you must investigate it according to the agreement." As a reporter, doing research is a breeze.Based on my own inferences about this incident, I wrote the following story. This story is called "G's Story", and it is written in G's tone and in the first person—— …Shooting and killing the former Japanese military police captain made me understand my own ruthlessness.The most frightening thing is that I have not received any condemnation of conscience. In the back of my mind, it was only natural to shoot a bullet through the heart of this arrogant and vile fellow. On the contrary, it was my wife's scolding that represented my conscience and whipped me. — There is no one who protects himself more carefully than you.Is it necessary to have this? She often used these words as mantras, and I answered Ruyi: "Of course it is necessary. If I don't protect myself, who will protect me? I'm not like someone who has a close lover who will take care of her to the death!" As soon as she said that, she immediately shut up. She is a woman who can clearly like and hate, she will be loved deeply, and she may also be hated deeply.There is only a thin line between love and hate.No, maybe it can be said that love begets hate.Until now, I've avoided hurting her feelings, and I don't think those words hurt her. Instead, she takes great pride in caring for a sick loved one.Actually, the one who was really hurt was me. When I first fell in love with her, I planned to sacrifice myself, that is, to love-but this contradicted my true intention.Because I love her and selfishly want to have her. After all, everyone loves themselves the most. After thinking it through, I decided on my code of conduct.It's such an easy question—I must live! I still remember sitting on the banks of the Thames when I was a child, overlooking the slopes with white pebbles and the endless orchards in the distance.That's proof that you're alive. I haven't been back to the UK for decades.After the war, the so-called way of survival seemed to be considered in conjunction with returning to England. I convinced myself that I must return to England alive.No, it can also be said that only by returning to England can I live. I was too humble and dirty in Japan. As an intelligence officer, I know that in this world, rewards and punishments are clearly defined.If they knew that I would be betrayed, they would not let me go. In order to survive, no matter what happens, I must bury my ugly past. However, some idiots are planning to use the exposure of my past to intimidate me and ask me for money.He didn't know that it wasn't just about money.In order to survive, I have forgotten my original appearance. The M incident is a good example. So as soon as I was cruel, I cleaned up this stupid guy. My wife immediately found out that I had done it. However, K didn't notice it.Wife and K, like this ex-Gendarmerie captain, threatened me with past events.My wife said that if I didn't break up with K, she would make it public that I was doing counter-espionage: and K also warned me, telling me to divorce my wife quickly. "Why are you still obsessed with that Japanese woman?" K said. "She doesn't love you at all, she loves other men! Do you want to endure it forever?" "But she knows about my past. If she goes around talking about it, I'm going to go to hell." "That's terrible. Isn't there a better solution?" K pursed his lips and said.At this time, she looked like an idiot, with a delicate appearance. "There are other people who know about me. Do you remember? The Japanese military police captain who dealt with me..." "Ah, it's the murdered person...Fortunately, I don't know who killed that person." "It's not someone else, but I did it." "Oh?" K gasped. She was taken aback. However, that was just pure shock, not yet a sense of crisis, or a sense of terror. Without my telling, my wife knew who was the murderer of the captain of the gendarmerie, and she was terrified of me.She even took precautions everywhere, and she was determined to fight with her back if she couldn't escape. Now the only people in the world who know my secret are my wife and K.Compared with the situation in which his wife was accustomed to fear, K seemed completely unaware of the danger she faced.Even with the example of the murder of a former gendarmerie captain, she was still ignorant. "Hello." K said to me in a low voice. "They've killed people anyway, and killing one is no different than killing two... I mean your wife." The last sentence is really superfluous.Did she think that if she didn't say it so clearly, I wouldn't be able to think of it? "I'm planning to do the second one," I said. "Is it... that's the only way to do it." K silently nodded in agreement. She is really frighteningly dull.I have already hinted that after she kills the second person, there will be a third one, but she is indifferent. "But, I'm afraid it won't be easy." I said with a frown on purpose. "Why? Didn't you kill the gendarme captain?" "If you think about it, she's my wife, and everyone knows we're not on good terms. Now that she's been killed... nine out of ten people would suspect me. Between the Captain of the Gendarmerie and myself Only a few people know about his relationship. His situation is different from my wife's. Isn't it?" I struggled to explain. K seemed to be sorting out what I just said in her head, and it took her a little time to figure out the ins and outs with her intellect.After a moment she said: "So as long as you're not suspected, it's easy, right?" "Of course." I tried to be careful not to betray contempt in my tone of voice.Maybe for a stupid woman like her, you don't have to worry so much. "Then it will be all right if you're not there!" said K. hoarsely. "You won't be suspected if you're not there. That's right, as long as you're not in Kobe at that time, it's fine. It's better to go to a place farther away, such as Tokyo... No, it's fine." "But I'm not in Kobe, how did I kill my wife?" This sentence is too plain.But if I don't do this to K, I'm afraid she won't understand. "You don't have to do it yourself." K's shoulders trembled with excitement. "I don't have to do it myself?" In fact, I heard what K said, and I knew what she was thinking about.Inserting this sentence is just an interruption. "I'll do it!" K leaned forward and said. "Can you?" "It's very simple... Doesn't your wife take sleeping pills before going to bed? I can do it in the middle of the night when she is asleep... At that time, you deliberately went to Tokyo, as long as you leave the key to me in advance, it's not difficult at all." .” "Really? But there are still many problems. For example, even if my wife is asleep, there is still a maid at home." "I've thought of that a long time ago," said K. confidently. "Let her take a vacation. It's not too late to do it when Ah Fang returns to Arima's hometown." "Well, that sounds perfect. But I don't have a gun anymore. I threw the gun away when I killed the gendarme captain last time. Otherwise you'd know I did it by comparing the gun to the bullets." "I don't want to use a gun. Only you men can kill people with such violence." "Then how do women kill people?" "set fire." "set fire?" "Yes! As long as you sprinkle gasoline around the room where your wife sleeps, and then light it on fire, it will be burnt up with a bang. Even if you don't take sleeping pills, you can't escape. At the same time, because gasoline is used, the fire truck has not yet By then, the house was nothing but scorched earth." I stared at her face. A smug expression—it's hard to describe.For me, it's a relief.Rather than saying that there is a wonderful sense of tragedy, it is better to say that he is a little confused. "But, I have a daughter." I said. "Oh, it's Little R." K didn't notice my daughter's presence until then.However, after thinking for a few seconds, she asked, "Do you love Little R?" "Of course, she is my own flesh and blood." "Then ask Ah Fang to take her out to play. Didn't Ah Fang take her out before?" "That's right. Ah Fang will take her daughter to Arima and stay for one night." "That's natural. It's all right, isn't it?" The Temptation of the Devil—However, K is not yet a devil.Moreover, the development of the whole thing is not that K is seducing me, but I am seducing her. "Then it depends on the time." K said. K was also afraid of being exposed for his conspiracy with me. "is it okay?" "no problem." K giggled and replied, showing an angelic pure expression. Seeing that calm face gave me a lot of peace of mind. Although K has been engaged in relatively low-level work, he is doing highly dangerous espionage activities after all.At the same time, her previous work performance is also quite good. I think the reason why K can do espionage well is mainly because she never considered such boring things as the meaning of work, and followed the instructions of her superiors completely.Considering the meaning or effect or something, it is easy to do bad things. Under the circumstances, K accepted the task of killing my wife without hesitation.She doesn't think about moral issues such as depriving human life, in other words, she just goes forward without scruples. When she was still working as my assistant, she showed her agile and leopard qualities. "When do you act?" she asked. She seemed to be looking forward to this day. "Anyway, pick a day for me to go to Tokyo." I replied. "I usually go to Tokyo for nothing, and it is easy to make people suspicious. However, I have something to go to recently, so you wait a while." "Okay." She said a little hesitantly. (Try to fix it quickly!) I think. Taking advantage of her high spirits now.If it is delayed again and again, it may affect her determination to act.Engaging in espionage is just doing things, but now this task is related to her own interests. In addition, I also feel that the future must be made clear in advance. "After my wife died, we couldn't be together right away." "why?" K immediately pouted. "Because you will be suspected. Wouldn't it be troublesome then?" K put his hand on his forehead and thought for a while, "Well, being together right away will indeed make people suspicious." "I think it's at least two years," I said. At that time, I had to go to Tokyo every month because of the civil affairs of the garrison. After arriving in Tokyo this time, I deliberately invited a few friends to the dormitory to play bridge and create an alibi. I seem to be particularly enthusiastic about winning and losing. As a spy, I have been trained to give up all emotions in the world.However, as soon as I thought of the scene of my wife being burned to death, I was immediately disturbed.In order to get rid of that horrible image, I had no choice but to play cards desperately. Gambling is a thing, once you lose your calm, you will only fail miserably.That night, as expected, I fought and lost repeatedly. (I lost so badly, what should I do?) But the more you want to win, the more you lose. "Stop playing!" Seeing that I lost so badly, my colleagues persuaded me sympathetically, but I refused to listen. Everyone should be able to see that my expression is different.Being good at hiding one's emotions is one of the most important skills of being a spy, but even I, who thought I was familiar with it, almost failed that night. Fortunately, afterward, no one connected my gaffe with my wife's death.Maybe I worry too much.Because my colleagues are also obsessed with winning or losing, my anxiety was interpreted as an inevitable manifestation of my enthusiasm for winning or losing. We played bridge until midnight. Around three o'clock in the morning, someone suddenly called the dormitory from Kobe through the company I was on a business trip with. I almost jumped out of my chair when the phone rang. I was the only one in the room who was expecting the phone to ring, but I was the only one who looked the most panicked. (No, I still have to pretend to put all my energy on the poker table.) The thought flashed through my mind as the phone rang.I desperately suppressed my trembling body from fear.Everyone is watching me.I thought, I must have panicked after hearing the call, I had to answer the call first. "At this time, who is calling!" A person next to the phone picked up the receiver, "What's the matter?" "Hey, G, it's your phone number. I heard that Kobe has urgent matters to contact." I tilted my head and said.This act of faking doubt is what I do best. What happened next required no acting. I turned pale and fell on the couch, feeling really dizzy. "What happened?" Can't remember who asked.It may be more than one person. "My house is on fire." I answered painfully. "Oh! It's too bad. Are Mrs. Sister-in-law and Qianqin okay?" I can't answer that question, I can only shake my head feebly. I don't know who brought the cup close to my mouth. The liquid in the glass flowed to the tip of my tongue. I closed my eyes and felt the aroma of brandy. My colleagues helped me take care of everything and booked a seat on the military plane to Osaka early in the morning. (I must live!) On the plane, I yelled from the bottom of my heart in tune with the rumbling sonic boom. 我已预知自己应该表现的态度，并且练习过许多次——那是一个丧偶丈夫的悲鸣。 事实上，如同在东京听到噩耗一般，根本不需要任何演技。 泪水自然地从我眼里汨汨流出。 面对妻的遗体时，我几乎无力抬起双脚，必须要靠左右两旁朋友的搀扶才站得住——那焦黑的尸体，当我乍见它时，觉得自己的心也化做灰烬。 而且，这灰被风一吹便四散飞扬。 一切按照预定计划进行。唯有我的心似乎逸出原先画好的线条，成为一个意外。 首先我害怕见到K。 我要活下去——尽管这是我的最高原则，但我却害怕活着见到K。 当K以吊问客的身分来致意时，我想我的脸色一定很难看。 寻常寒喧过后，K悄悄地说：“我想我们暂时不要见面比较好。” 听到这话，我松了一口气。 自从见到妻的遗体，对活着的我而言，回国似乎已不再那么甘美。 活着变成了一种惩罚。不久，我决定带女儿搬到东京，过自我放逐的生活。 我想，总有一天我要回到泰晤士河畔，只是归去的日子必须往后延而已。 至于对我的惩罚则是永不停止的。 或许我这么说太过矫情。 间谍的心是冷的。 可是，一个背叛祖国的间谍，已经丧失了干这行的资格，无法再继续冷酷下去。这样的我多亏有杀妻这件事，才能保持冷酷。 而后，像冰一般冷的心不会变热，只会化为灰烬。 一旦摇晃，立刻四散飞扬，什么也没留下。 我那一向反抗激烈的妻，这次居然默默承受了死亡。说不出是为什么，她的逆来顺受，反而让我觉得什么地方怪怪的—— （G氏的故事）到此结束。 但是最后写着“待续”二字。 在文章的最后一页也夹着一张便条，里面写着： 这篇小说（或许你不认为它是）尚未完成，其实我真正想描述的是G以后心情苦闷的部分，但我的想象力目前仅及于此。 当然这是虚构的故事，可是我认为真实情况八九不离十。至于我嘛，可以算是第四个知道G底细的人，但G一向把我视为知己，并没当成敌人。G搬到东京以后，我们亦见过数面。那时他的模样和谈吐，都令我相信这个虚构的故事确实发生过。 容我再赞言一句。K后来男女关系变得那么复杂，与她和G相恋无疾而终这点，有莫大的关连…… 读完（G氏的故事），中垣认为最好不要让罗丝看到这篇文章。 （文章中所写的事，她是不是也隐约察觉到了？） 不过，那毕竟只是罗丝一时的幻想，倘使再加上这篇小说佐证，岂不太残忍了？ 虽然想象很恐怖，但只要尚存“应该不是这样”的后路，罗丝就可以获救。 从罗丝最近的情况来看，可能她的思维已陷入某种困局。（G氏的故事）其实只不过是吉冈想象出的小说。但是，假如他们两人的想象一致，不就等于证明那是事实了。 中垣想着，把杂志塞到皮包底层。