Chapter 5 Chapter 4 Empty Time

At 8:30 in the evening, we stood in front of that tower again. The cool air at night is very heavy, and the wind blowing on the face makes people feel warm and humid, which makes people quicken their pace. The sky above has been completely covered by clouds.Not to mention the moonlight just now, there is not even a trace of starlight. Xuan'er shined a flashlight on the tower. After a few steps, you can see a double door.The door, the cornice above it, and the plastered walls around it were black, blending in with the night. The reason why this building is called "decagonal tower" is because its plan is decagonal.

I pictured the shape in my head—ten sides of equal length intersecting each other at the same angle, each interior angle being 140°.Compared with general hexagons and octagons, it is closer to a circle. This Western-style tower is a wooden building with no big protrusions except for the eaves above the entrance.It is not a multi-tiered structure like a pagoda, with walls painted in black plaster extending down to the spire.Just now Xuan'er said that the height of the platform is about seven or eight meters. Based on this calculation, the height of the entire tower is about ten meters. "When was this tower built?" I asked Xuan'er, "Is it built in the same period as the main building? Or..."

"I heard it's later." Xuan'er looked at the tower and said, "When the main building is completely finished and people have lived in for a while..." "Is there any special purpose to build such a pagoda here alone? From the point of view of Feng Shui, is it possible to build the pagoda here to ward off disasters for the whole mansion?" "This—" Xuan'er hesitated to speak, "My great-grandfather Xuanyao was not interested in things like orientation and Feng Shui. Only when he was interested in things would he show unusual persistence."

——Extraordinary persistence; "if not like this……" "He won't build this house either?" "Yes. You are right. When you first arrived here, didn't you ask why Xuanyao built such a house in this barren mountain?" I nodded speechlessly, thinking about the situation along the way. The traffic conditions at that time were much worse than now, and it was not easy to move building materials and machines.Of course, the wood and stone can be obtained locally. "As for these things, if you are interested, I can explain to you slowly. But Xuan Yao himself understands many details, and you can't check with him, so you can only give up."

"The decagonal tower is also rare, and this is the first time I have seen it." "Why this tower is a decagonal shape is also a mystery... If there is an answer, it is not impossible." "What do you think." "Xuan Yao built this house with reference to a certain building, including this tower." I was a little surprised to hear this explanation for the first time. "After Xuanyao made money, he left Japan for a while and traveled to Europe. At that time, he stayed in Italy for the longest time." "So he saw a building there?" "I'm not sure yet, I can only say that there is such a possibility. He may have seen a certain building there, and later copied that style to build this house..." Xuan'er hesitated to speak, and fell silent After a while, he turned his gaze from the tower to me, "Have you heard of the name Nicolodi?"

I was a little baffled when I heard this question suddenly: "This is the first time I've heard of this name." "He is an Italian architect. From the second half of the 19th century to the first half of the 20th century, he has been engaged in the construction industry for a long time." "I don't know, I'm ignorant." "Don't say that. It's normal not to know. He's not a well-known figure." "Could it be that Xuanyao saw this architect's design..." "Yes. It seems that when Xuan Yao was in Italy, he saw several buildings designed by Nicolodi and was very interested. When he built this house, even if he didn't copy it, he was still greatly affected."

"What kind of building did Nicolodi design?" Xuan'er didn't seem to know how to answer my question, so she moved the light of the flashlight from the tower to her feet, and kept drawing circles. "They are all weird houses." He said seriously, "He designed the houses to be uninhabitable, and he seemed to design them that way on purpose. Seeing those houses, one wonders whether the designers are normal people, but at the same time It will feel incredible." "Tell me more about it." "That can't be expressed in words...Okay, you will gradually understand these things, anyway, there is plenty of time." Xuan'er moved the light of the flashlight to the tower again, "Maybe, the Shannicrodi design that Xuanyao saw Among the buildings in the city, there are decagonal ones. That’s why I told you just now—if you want to say the answer, it’s not that there are none.”

Xuan'er glanced at me and walked towards the entrance of the tower.I hurriedly followed, stepped up the steps, and walked to the black door. "Hezi said that the door has been locked." "Yes, it should be like this." Xuan'er shined the flashlight on the doorknob, "Huh?! How could this be?" "Locked?" "broken." I stood behind Xuan'er and looked at the door. An old tumbler lock hung over the door, which seemed to be the lock for this entrance.The tumbler lock was supposed to be attached to the door frame on both sides, but one of the screws had come loose.Although the tumbler lock itself is locked, if one side is pulled down, it will not function as it should.

"It was broken by someone?" I asked. Xuan'er shook his head: "It doesn't look like the screw was pulled out by someone. I think it should be loose because of the age." "Has it been broken before?" "This tower is basically not used, so I don't know. It may be broken a year ago, a month ago, or it may be broken today." Xuan'er ignored the tumbler lock hanging from the door frame, and turned the doorknob.With a muffled sound, the door was pushed open. We walked into the ten-pointed tower. It was silent, damp, and dark inside.We shone around with flashlights.

Dirt on the walls, dust everywhere, wood chips and short sticks everywhere... I know the tower is dilapidated, but I still can't see the internal structure with the flashlight. From under the feet—on the ground, there was the sound of bugs.The smell of dust, musty and old wood mixed and irritated the nostrils.This is a unique smell in buildings that have not been inhabited for a long time. Although it is not comfortable, it gives me a long-lost feeling for some reason.this…… --what are you doing?It was covered in mud. The voice from more than ten years ago sounded in my ears again: ——What are you playing?

——You are an older brother, and you actually did that... "Zhongye, this way!" Xuan'er called me. He walked forward slowly, looking forward to the right.In the darkness, a spiral staircase leading to the top can be vaguely seen.Xuan'er grabbed the handle of the stairs, stood up abruptly, and tested its load-bearing capacity.Accompanied by the sound of insects, there was a slight creaking sound. "Come up!" Xuan'er shouted, "Be careful where you step. Some stair boards may be rotten." The width of the stairs does not allow two people to pass side by side.I waited for Xuan'er to go up a few steps, then stepped on the stairs.This old wooden staircase is stronger than expected, and it can carry two people without any problem.I didn't see the damaged stair boards either. The third floor of the tower is the highest level. After Xuan'er climbed up, she immediately shined the flashlight on the wall around her. "Great, and candles." I saw a candlestick on the wall with a few thick candles stuck in it.It seems that there is no electric light in this tower.Xuan'er lit the candle with a lighter, and the "darkness" that affected our sight gradually dissipated.I can also roughly see the situation on the top floor. The entire room is decagonal in shape and roughly divided into two parts, separated by a wooden fence.We stood at the stairs and could see the whole room clearly. "This room is..." I looked at Xuan'er's reaction, "It really looks like..." It really felt like a prison cell to me.In the middle is the fence, on the opposite side is the cell, and we stand on the outside.Calculated from the area ratio, it is roughly 4:1. "Before, there were tatami mats." In the candlelight, the shadow of the fence was projected on the ground, and Xuan'er's figure also overlapped on it, shaking. "As you can see, there's nothing right now." There was a door on the fence, which was open, and Xuan'er passed through it, walking towards the "opposite side".I dusted my jeans with my dusty hands and followed closely. We walked to the center of the decagonal room, looked around by candlelight and flashlights—the room was really empty.Not to mention furniture and decorations, even the tatami mats of the past are gone. "Xuan'er!" On the opposite side of the black fence, candlelight was flickering. I squinted my eyes and asked the friend next to me, "What is this room for?" "What do you think?" Xuan'er asked back, "What did you want to say just now?" "this……" "Are you trying to say—it's like a prison cell here?" "yes." Xuan'er didn't answer for several seconds, took a deep breath, and then exhaled: "You are right." "what?!" His voice sounded weird, and I couldn't help being surprised. "That is how the matter?" "This is a prison cell for confinement. There used to be a strong lock on that barred door." "Prisoner?"—Hearing that word, for some reason, made me shudder. "Who is locked here?" Of course I want to know the answer, but Xuan Er shook her head. "That's a secret. It's the Puden family's secret. If you know it, you can't go back safely." "what did you say?" "Of course it's a joke." After finishing speaking, Xuan'er laughed softly, but which ones are jokes? "About this tower, I don't know the situation at the time. I just heard that the people in the house built this tower for some purpose that they didn't want to tell others." Xuan'er said solemnly, "But at least I know that the tower was used as a prison cell for a while later. Unfortunately, I can't recall it." "Can't remember?" I looked at Xuan'er again, "Is it because of 'that reason'?" "That's right. It's because of 'that reason'." Xuan'er shrugged deliberately as if laughing at herself, "I can't remember now. I feel anxious. You can more or less understand this kind of feeling, right?" --I? I nodded wordlessly. ——Who am I? Here, I should not continue to think about this problem. "Is the platform...over there?" Xuan'er turned around and walked into the room.With the help of a flashlight, we saw an open window. "There are four windows on this floor. Only this window has a platform outside." It was a pair of French shutters as tall as a person.There are no glass windows on the inside, and wooden panels for rain protection on the outside. This structure is strange and strange.The platform was not big, with the decagonal side wide and less than one and a half meters deep, and the other three sides had black fences half a person's height. "Look!" Xuan'er raised his finger, "That's the room we were in just now." I held down my hair, which was blown tousled by the warm wind, with my hands, and looked in the direction of his fingers.There was a huge, dark mansion there.On the second floor of the building in front of me, the East Building, there was a window with a dim yellow light. Just as I was about to take a step forward, Xuan'er hurriedly said: "Be careful! I don't think there will be any more earthquakes, but this building is too old, it's better not to get close to the fence. If I fall this time, I won't I can assure you that you will be saved." As she said that, Xuan'er walked forward instead, leaning on the fence, and looked down.He shone the light on the bottom, nodded, "That's right, that person fell under this." Afterwards, Xuan'er left the fence and checked the platform under her feet. "If only there were footprints... I can't see them clearly now. There should be footprints in the tower too." "footprint?" "You didn't pay attention? Forget it, it's so dark, there's nothing you can do about it." It was my negligence.In this tower, no one has been out and cleaned for a long time, and the ground is full of dust. It is impossible for that person to leave no footprints. "At the entrance of the first floor, on the stairs, and on the ground of this floor, there seems to be footprints left by that person, but the light is too weak to see clearly. Let's confirm tomorrow—by the way, Chuya, look !" Xuan'er stood up and walked to me, "I found this thing." Saying that, Xuan'er stretched out his left hand, and I took the flashlight to shine on it. "watch?" "Yes, it's a pocket watch. And it has a silver chain." "Did it fall here?" "Just before the fence." "You mean the young man dropped it?" "It's possible. When he fell due to a sudden earthquake, this watch fell here..." Xuan'er looked at it carefully as he said. "The surface is fine, but the pointer has stopped. It may have been damaged by the impact when it fell... 6:30. It is the time of the earthquake. Everything matches." "good." "Hey?" "what happened again?" "It seems to be engraved on the reverse side..." Xuan'er held the flashlight again, moved her face closer, squinted her eyes, and carefully looked at the pocket watch in her left hand, "It is engraved with TE" "TE? Is that an abbreviation?" "Likely." Xuan'er nodded, and put the pocket watch into the pocket of his jeans, "This watch must belong to that young man. And the 'T.E' engraved on it is also very likely to be his initials. Anyway, we've finally found something that identifies him." I pictured the pale face of the young man lying in the living room.I repeated "TE" again, but nothing came to mind. I met Pu Dengxuan this spring.To be more precise—five months ago—one evening in late April. Since I was a child, I have loved architecture, especially old western style mansions.When I was in high school, I often used long vacations to travel around and saw buildings in many different places.Luckily - people around me didn't criticize too much, thinking that's not what high school students should do.In fact, they have long thought I was weird, so they took it easy.Of course, my academic performance is also outstanding, which virtually helped me get rid of many accusations. Very early on, I made up my mind that after graduating from high school, I would go to Tokyo to study architecture seriously.I also worked hard for this... In March, I entered my ideal university as I wished. I left my hometown in Oita Prefecture, Kyushu, came to Tokyo alone, and stayed in Chiyogi in Bunkyo Ward.It was a Sunday, and it had been more than a week since the humanities ceremony ended. I remember it was April 20th. After noon, it began to rain lightly. I walked out of the room holding an umbrella and holding a sketchbook.I remember wearing a double-breasted shirt, gray jeans, and a light coat over it.The cherry blossoms were past their full bloom and were drenched by the misty cold rain. That day, I planned to go a little farther to see the former Baron Furukawa's mansion in Nishihara, Kita Ward.It was built by a famous British architect and has a stone Western-style mansion in the Gothic style of the north.I've known about this mansion for a long time, but never had a chance to go. I don't care about the moderate rain at all, and I hope that there will be fewer people visiting in this kind of weather. After arriving, I found a suitable corner, held an umbrella, and started to sketch the building.I love drawing buildings everywhere, a habit I have developed since high school and never changed. For several hours, I didn't rest for a moment, and I concentrated on painting. The light rain stopped and stopped, and when I was about to finish the painting, it suddenly became bigger.I look around, it's getting dark.I closed the sketchbook and hugged it to my chest—I finished the drawing with great difficulty, so I couldn't get wet, and hurriedly left the mansion. ...that is the end of the scene that I can clearly recall. I have no recollection of my subsequent actions and circumstances.There's no recall at all - it's a fragmented memory, a blank time. What I can recall afterwards is that I was lying on a hospital bed full of medicine, surrounded by a few strangers.There was a man in a white coat, a woman in a white coat, and a man in black - he was Puden Xuan'er. "Is it better now?" Xuan'er asked at that time, "If you think of something, can you tell us?" "I...", I was at a loss, tilted my head, "here is..." "It's the ward." "Are you... who are you?" "They are the attending doctors and nurses. My name is Puden Xuaner. I have told you several times. You still don't know anything? What's your name?" "My name is……" --I? "My name is……" I sat up and felt a dull pain in my head, but not so much pain in my body. ——Who am I? I kept repeating this anxious question in my mind. ——Why am I here, talking to these people? This is the morning of Tuesday - April 22nd. In my memory, this was the first meeting between myself and Puden Xuaner, but Pudenxuan didn't think so, he said that our first meeting was two days ago. I left the former Baron Furukawa's mansion on the afternoon of the 20th, and I can't recall anything after that.Not only that, when I "meeted" Xuan'er in the ward, I completely forgot even the things before the 20th - including my name and origin. Later, from Xuan'er's mouth, I learned some "facts". I was near the Koishikawa Arboretum around 7:30 on a Sunday night.This botanical garden is located on the south side of the Baron Furukawa's mansion. It is quite a distance away. I don't know whether I will walk or take a car on a rainy day.Why don't I go back to Chiyogi, but go there?There must be a reason for it, but I don't know it.It may be just to relax, it may be passing there, and another possibility is to get lost.Many possibilities can be envisioned. Anyway, there I was, walking alone on the dark trail after the sun went down. It was there that Xuan'er met me. At that time, the sky was drizzling, and Xuan'er was riding a bicycle, finished his work, and was about to go back.The street lights on the road are sparse, I hold a black umbrella and walk in the middle of the path. According to Xuan Er - he was behind me, and I was carrying a bag and a sketchbook on my shoulders. Then a black Renault sped past me, ignoring the puddles in the road.I quickly jumped up to avoid the splashing sewage, but unfortunately, I happened to block Xuan'er's way. "I didn't have time to brake or dodge. I should be blamed for not paying attention to the situation ahead." Listen to him.He seemed to be joking, but his expression was quite serious, "In the end, we collided head-on... You were thrown into the air, your umbrella and sketchbook were thrown out, and you fell into a small ditch on the side of the road Li. Don't you remember?" I don't remember it at all, just a tingling in my head, like the aftereffects of an accident. Xuan'er quickly helped me up, but I didn't respond.I lay there with my head planted in the small ditch by the side of the road, no matter how much he shouted, I remained motionless.It looked like I was hit hard on the head when I was knocked down. Xuan'er took rescue measures within his ability on the spot, but he still realized that it was not enough.Although I had no obvious trauma, no bleeding, and no deformation of my head or face, the loss of consciousness was critical in itself. He called an ambulance and took me to the relevant hospital.The so-called relevant hospitals have two meanings, one is a hospital that can rescue patients in time, and the other is a hospital under the "Phoenix Society" where Xuan'er's father is in power. After being sent to the hospital, I received timely examination and treatment. It is said that in the beginning, I just regained consciousness, but I don't remember what the doctor and Xuan'er said at all. Although my consciousness has recovered, my thinking and cognitive abilities are still not good enough. After examination, the doctor confirmed that there was no damage to my skull and brain, and there were only a few scratches on other parts, which was fine.From this point of view, the impact on the head and the accident itself caused me to temporarily lose my memory. "In traffic accidents, people often lose their memory for a period of time before and after the accident, which is not uncommon." The attending doctor explained, "But now you can hardly remember your past events at all, which is relatively rare." Xuan'er brought all my copybooks, bags, etc. to the hospital, but even after seeing those things, I still couldn't remember who I was, and what was even worse - among the belongings, I couldn't find anything that could prove my identity. identity stuff. Needless to say, the umbrella, sketchbook, bag and clothes do not have my name written on them.We also checked the stationery, map, wallet, handkerchief, etc. in the bag, but it was in vain.At that time, I generally did not carry my student ID card and address book with me. "You have temporary amnesia. And it's not an organic problem, it's just a mental problem." The attending doctor's opinion is very optimistic, "You don't need to worry too much. You will remember everything soon. Don't worry, take a good rest. " Although he said so, I didn't know who I was and where I should go back. The doctor told me that there was no need for further hospitalization and examination, and I could be discharged early.This was a happy thing, but I didn't know where to go after I was discharged from the hospital.When I was confused, Xuan Er extended a helping hand. "Go to my house." He said that, which is reasonable, "I'm relatively big, so it's okay to live with one or two more people. Besides, I bumped into you, so you should be responsible." In this way, for a period of time after I was discharged from the hospital, I temporarily lived in Xuan'er's residence in Hakusan, Tokyo. At most, it was five months ago, but for some reason, it always feels like it happened a long time ago.Every time I think back, I always feel that since that day, after the "first encounter" with Xuan'er in that ward, I have been living in a fantasy world separated from the previous reality.Now I come to this dark pavilion located in the deep mountains and old forests of Kumamoto Prefecture, which is also a continuation of "that". After coming out of the ten-pointed tower, we stopped by the entrance of the island.Because Xuan'er said he wanted to see the situation at the ferry. "How did that young man come here? Don't you think it's strange?" Xuan'er walked quickly through the forest path, "There are only two boats in the lake, one is driven by Zhishan, the motorboat we took; the other It's a hand-cranked boat. You should see that, right?" When we came by motorboat, the small boat was moored by the trestle.In this way, the young man came to the island in that small boat after us. There is a double-open black door at the entrance, nearly three meters high.In the darkness, the door looked more majestic and weighty.The stone walls surrounding the entire islet form a Gothic dome above the gate. Xuan'er told me - it is said that this was once the city where a general lived, and the stone walls around the island were built on the original foundation. Although Xuan'er also said that the legend may not be true, I think it can be believed.Because the "city wall" was built with countless huge natural stones, no matter how rich the Xuanyao family is, without the original foundation, it is hard to imagine that they could complete such a huge project. There is a gap in the door for one person to pass through.We walked out the door and down the gentle steps leading to the jetty. There is not a ray of light on the lake, and it is dark, which makes people tremble with fear. The sound of rushing water came from nowhere, and it felt like it was nearby: Compared with just now, the wind was much stronger, and standing here, I could vaguely hear the rustling of the forest by the lake. "Is this lake deep?" I suddenly thought of this question and asked Xuan'er. "It is said that it is a bottomless pit." Xuan'er seemed to be joking, "If you fall, no one will survive." "Really? Really?" "I don't know if it's a bottomless pit, but it's really not shallow. And there are a lot of algae, and the temperature difference between the lake and the lake is also very large. When I was young, my family warned me that the lake was dangerous and I must not go swimming. Before, this house was Someone is drowning." "Is it from the Puden family?" "It's the servant in this house and her son. It was a long time ago, before I was born. The child was playing in the lake and drowned. His mother tried to save her, but she also drowned." There was endless darkness all around, and the woods rustled in the wind.Xuan'er continued: "It is said that it was not a simple accident, it was the lake monster who dragged them in." "There are...monsters in the lake?" "It's a monster we've never seen before." Xuan'er seemed to be joking again. "What kind of monster is that?" "There are many legends circulating in the local area. There is such a lake in the deep mountains and old forests, which would make people think about it. If there are no one or two legends, it will be unbelievable." We walked down the long stone steps, near the trestle on the shore.Xuan'er stopped talking to me and shone a flashlight there.Of course he thought the boat was moored there.I think so too.but-- "No!" - There are no boats near the trestle. Suddenly, a gust of wind came whistling, and the lake water was splashing.I felt that I was about to be sucked into the endless darkness, so I blinked quickly. "how so?" "What's going on?" Xuan'er also muttered, "Could it be that he came here by boat? But that..." "What's 'that'?" I turned around and asked, "Is there any other way to get to the island?" "Ah, that's—" Xuan'er frowned, and took another step forward, "Mr. Zhongye, the boat is over there." "what?" "Over there." Xuan'er took the flashlight and shone forward, "Look! The boat is over there." "what?!" Xuan'er took the flashlight and shone it on the lake not far from the trestle bridge.In the darkness, the water could be seen churning, and a single black figure was floating on it—a ship. "there……" "The young man got off the shore by boat, but the boat was hit by the lake without picking up the cable." "Perhaps the cable came loose during the earthquake?" "That possibility is not non-existent." Looking at the past, the boat is not far from the shore. If you are not afraid of the piercing lake water, you can swim there and pull the boat back.But Xuan'er didn't suggest that. "Get in touch with Zhishan later." After speaking, he turned around and walked back. Is my heart dead? Is my dream dead? The so-called memory seems to be gone. Walking along the road, I can't help being dazzled. The first time I heard Xuan'er recite this poem was on the third day after being discharged from the hospital.The so-called third day is April 7th. I gladly accept Xuan'er's invitation——before my identity is clarified, I will temporarily stay at Yi Xuan'er's house for a while. Xuan'er's home is located in a secluded residential area in Baishan. It is an old-fashioned bungalow with a wooden structure. It is generally good, and many places have been remodeled.Just as Xuan'er said, the whole house is quite spacious, and there must be many rooms that are usually unused.There is only a sign on the door, which says "Purden". Seeing him living alone in such a big house, I couldn't help but wondered whether his family members were all dead, but that wasn't the case.Xuan Er's parents live in Kumamoto. He is the eldest son of the family and came to Tokyo alone to study.When it comes to the Pudeng family, those who know it certainly know that it is a big capitalist who owns real estate all over the country, and this house in Baishan is one of them. Xuaner told me that he will be 27 this summer, and he is still a college student, unmarried. He graduated from the medical department of T University at the age of 24, and later entered the literature department of the same university, but he hardly attends classes. "Why don't you just become a doctor?" "I don't think that career is suitable for me." There was a smile on his face, which made people feel that it had some meaning, and it was not as simple as he said. Xuan'er asked me to live in a south room facing the courtyard with eight tatami mats. The grounds looked untended and dilapidated, but the rooms were kept in perfect order, showing that the owner was a meticulous person.It makes me feel like it.On the other hand, the windows in the house are all closed, which makes people feel weird. Whether the weather is good or bad, whether you go out or not, the windows are basically closed, and only open for a short time in a day.In this way, even in the daytime, the house is very dark, quiet, and the air is heavy. "I don't like light very much." Xuan'er's explanation is a bit puzzling, "Sunlight is not a good thing. As long as people go under the sun, people will involuntarily 'move'. It's actually not good, too much' Movement' will only hasten the burning of life. Therefore..." "Really?" My answer was vague. "No, this may have something to do with the environment in which I grew up. My parents' house is like that, and it seems that I don't plan to change it now. I..." Xuan'er showed a self-deprecating look.At the time, I couldn't understand what he meant. What is the "growing environment" like? What does "that's how my parents' house is" mean?At that time, I had known him not long ago, so I couldn't continue to ask questions. A middle-aged woman named Tomie came to make breakfast and dinner for us.Cleaning etc seems to be her job as well.Xuan'er briefly narrated the process and introduced me to her. Deng Meijiang opened his eyes wide: "You don't even know who you are?" "Hey……" "You look like a student... How old are you?" "I don't know." I can't even remember my age or birthday. "So that's how it is." Xuan'er said to Deng Meijiang: "He is temporarily staying with me, please prepare a meal for the two of us." "clear." Then, Xuan'er said to me; "If there is anything, don't be polite, just tell me. If I'm not at home, you can tell Deng Meijiang." "Okay." I nodded, and at the same time rolled my eyes to observe the expression of the part-time worker, and saw that she was also looking at me, as if looking at a foreigner. That night—that is, the third day after I came to Xuan Er's house after I was discharged from the hospital, Tomijiang cooked dinner for us.After eating, Xuan'er sat on the easy chair in the living room, holding a full glass of wine, watching TV programs.At that moment, he suddenly read the poem—— Is my heart dead? Is my dream dead? The so-called memory seems to be gone. Walking along the road, I can't help being dazzled. "What kind of poem is that?" I was taken aback, and thought for a moment that it might be Xuan Er's own poem. "You do not know?" When he asked, I figured it might be someone else's poem. "I don't know—whose poem is it?" "Zhongye. Central Plains Zhongye." I didn't react right away. Although I have lost my memory, what I have forgotten is mainly my past, and I still know some basic knowledge. "Central Plains Chuya" is the name of the late poet, who often wore a black hat.But that's all I know, and I don't seem to have read a volume of poetry in its entirety.It took me a while to think of a few poem titles. "In his later years, he wrote "Sleep", which was collected in "Song of the Goat" and "Song of the Past". It's normal if you don't know it. It is said that he was in his later years, but in fact he was only thirty-six or seven years old at the time." I feel that since there is nothing to ask for, Might as well die. Having said that, I still want to live. Having said that, I don't want to die yet. Even so, in the crisp, I recall what you have said. While reciting, Xuan'er stared straight at me.In the soft light, his cheeks, his neck, his hands—all the bare skin was very pale. "Complete memory loss." Xuan'er stared at me, repeating one sentence over and over again.I can't help but bow my head. "I didn't mean to tell you. Don't get me wrong." "..." "Although it's my own business, I don't know anything, I can't remember anything. I have completely lost my memory—I'm not talking about others, but myself." "Ah!" Xuan'er's words surprised me, "How do you say that?" "In my memory, there is a blank part." "yes?" "Although it's different from your current situation, part of my memory is also blank. I can't remember my childhood—before the age of nine or ten." "Nine, ten...but..." "Maybe everyone's memories of childhood are relatively vague. But mine is more obvious. I can't remember at all. It's like—" Xuan'er put the cup on the table and touched his chin, "It's like , before that, I didn't exist as a person. It's that feeling..." After a moment of silence, I looked at the corner of Xuan'er's mouth. "What caused it?" I asked. "What accident happened?" Xuan'er took out his left hand from the pocket of his jeans, put it on the table, and took off the watch on his wrist. "That's... what happened to that scar?" For the first time I saw a scar around his left wrist, where the watch strap hid it.The scar was shocking, shrinking into a jagged shape. "I don't remember when or how I was injured. I heard about it from others later." "Does this injury have anything to do with your loss of memory?" "This..." Xuan'er closed his mouth after speaking halfway, "Oh, we just met each other not long ago, I shouldn't have mentioned this kind of thing to you—I'm sorry, I surprised you." "No." "Anyway, that's what happened." Xuan'er picked up the cup from the table, "What can I say? Regardless of the responsibility for the accident, I miss you very much. Because I think I can see a part of myself in you .” I lowered my head, and after a while, I said, "It's okay. Because didn't the doctor say that too—I'll recover my memory soon." In fact, I was not optimistic at all. I was very anxious, restless and panicked.But an inexplicable fog surged up in my heart, which seemed to cover all these emotions: the fog was extremely pale and very cold... the fog diluted my sense of reality, blurred my emotions, and made me unable to feel the reality Annoyance and pain. The wonderful floating feeling favors me from time to time.I felt that if I left it alone, my body color would fade until it became translucent—in the dimness, I was in touch with the world.It didn't make me feel bad, so it never occurred to me to tell the police and ask for help... in the haze, I recall your words. For some reason, the last two lines of "Sleep" sounded in my ears. I didn't make a sound and repeated it in the back of my throat.at that time-- “你呀，”玄儿郑重其事地说起来，“那套衣服不适合你。” ——他要说什么？ “是衣服吗？” 玄儿眯缝着眼睛，笑嘻嘻地看着不知所措的我。 “还是那样好，黑色的斗篷加上呢子礼帽。礼帽要能完全盖住头顶。那样肯定好。” “斗篷加上帽子？” “我现在就叫你'中也君'。” “什么？”我更加糊涂了。 “没有人说你像中原中也吗？” “我？像中也？” “我觉得像。”玄儿咪着眼睛，显得更加开心，“我觉得你要是把头发留得再长些，戴上合适的帽子，就无可挑剔了。” “但……” 看见我一脸茫然，玄儿稍微正经了一点。 “你没有名字可不行。我也为难呀。” “那倒是……但……” “中也君——这样叫，不好吗？就这么决定了。明天我们就去买衣服。这年头恐怕没有斗篷，那我们就找类似的衣服……” 就这样，玄儿开始喊我“中也君”了。 正如医院主治医生所说的，大约三个星期后，除了事故前后，其他记忆我都恢复了。但即便知道了我的真名，玄儿依然没有改口，还是叫我“中也君”。