Chapter 8 chapter eight

Smack, slap, slap—someone is tapping me on the cheek.It was so annoying, I was so displeased, my heart was so angry that I opened my eyes, only to find Junko Goda standing in front of me—she was hitting my face with a plastic bottle. I found myself leaning on the bench, hurriedly straightened my upper body, and rubbed my eyes while moving my head and neck.The head still hurts badly, and the shoulders are so stiff that they don't seem to grow on the body.Goda Junko leaned over and looked at me, as if I was a completely useless man: "Slept so deeply." I did fall asleep, so it was irrefutable, so I had to brag and say: "I really admire myself for being able to fall asleep in this kind of place." I looked around, looking for my brother, and at the same time observing the craft building.Chun was absent, and the building did not catch fire.I vaguely remember that Chun once stood by that concrete wall, but there was no trace of Chun there.In fact, I don't even know if that really happened.

"You..." I stood up, "You're still here." "I'm worried about Chun." There is always only one rule of thumb for her. "Where did Chun go? I remember seeing him around that corner. In fact, we came to catch the arsonist. There is a building there, the slender ten-story building. There may be Set it on fire." I spoke much faster than usual, my head was still heavy, in order to get rid of the heavy feeling, I forced myself to speak quickly. Goda Junko sighed, and her breath seemed to never end. "You seem to have realized something."

"I've made up my mind." Looking at her serious expression, I started to panic.It's not because of being stared at by a beautiful woman, but I know that her awakening will definitely not be a pleasant thing. "Actually, he begged me not to tell Brother Quanshui." "By whom?" I asked with my mouth, but I already had the answer in my heart. "Be Chun." "Don't tell me what?" "Don't tell you everything Chun did." "Could it be..." I was suddenly blessed, "about graffiti?" It's been a really nasty night.Headache, shoulder pain, bad sleep, no moon... What a nasty night... I suddenly wanted to run away.

"Recently, there have been a lot of strange graffiti here in Sendai. The contents are all in English, and they are walking in various places. These graffiti are directly related to the arson incident. And the person who drew these graffiti is Haru, is that so?" If this is the case, although I don't want to admit it, I have already noticed it. "Yes." Although she nodded, she acted a little disappointed, as if I was a bad student who couldn't understand her train of thought. "It's not just like that?" I carefully looked at Junko Goda's face. Although it was only a few seconds, I felt that we had been facing each other for hours.

"Could it be arson too? Could it be that Chun is also arsonist?" I finally said it out, and the horrible imagination that I was not allowed to think about this aspect for countless times finally poked my head out. She nodded. My eyes were pale, and then I was in the boundless darkness, like a light bulb bursting in my brain.His feet were as heavy as lead, and it seemed that he was about to fall into doom on the spot. "I saw it with my own eyes." "I do not want to hear." "It was when Brother Chun and Quanshui were in the cram school at Xikou."

"I said I don't want to hear you still say!" "I saw that Chun set fire to that building." "So I said I don't want to hear it!" "He probably put gasoline in a plastic bottle, poured it on the pile of papers by the wall, and lit it with a lighter." I looked at the plastic bottle beside me in a daze, which should be ordinary drinking water.It was the same last time.Only the plastic bottle in Chun's hand was filled with gasoline.Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered that when I was ambushing at Northeast Research Institute, I once wanted to drink the bottle of liquid in Chun's hand, but Chun was furious, and even said that I would die if I drank it. —that is, I almost drank gasoline once?

"Why did Chun set those buildings on fire?" "Chun's mental state is very unstable." She repeated this sentence again, "It must be like this. So is that notebook. In that room before, you told me that the imprint on the map I saw indicated that I really shuddered to see where the fire started." "Too many," I replied. "There are not more than thirty arson incidents. There are too many markers on the map." "Then what do you think? The place marked on the map is not the place where the fire has already started." "That is to say...?"

"That map may show where he is going to set fires in the future." I was speechless again. "If Chun is the arsonist, then this argument can be established." My face at this moment must be described as extremely ugly.I blinked and tried to say something, but the only words that came out of my mouth were "but...", "then..." and I was embarrassed.From mouth to nose, from anus to urethra, the power in my body is draining from every pore of my body, and instead seeps in a dark and melancholy fluid.I was really terrified of drowning in that liquid.I tried hard to stand still, but I still staggered from the trembling.

Goda Junko said nothing.Her big eyes were wide open, and her lips were stubbornly twisted. "Don't open your mouth", I really want to say to her, once you open your mouth, even if you only open a small gap, you will be swallowed by this endless melancholy. "Chun is an arsonist." "Is Chun an arsonist?" "I saw it." "He told you not to say it?" "He told me never to speak out." I understand her distress.For her who has been following Chun for nearly ten years, Chun's request is more important than anything in the world.But she failed to keep this agreement and told me everything.If you want to ask the reason, it is also because she is worried about Chun.

I'm still in a dazed state.It turns out that the younger brother is not only the criminal who drew graffiti, but also the real culprit of arson?My father's thin face floated in front of my eyes.Did my father, who was battling cancer, have expected all this?If so, then I finally know why when I visit him in the morning, he asks me "Is that you?".Maybe my father was also suspicious of Chun. Then I started thinking about maps.The map of Sendai city is a detailed map based on 1:12000.I recalled where the red and blue markers I had marked were.The law of genes.I thought about it all along the way.If it is said that Chun is both a graffiti artist and an arsonist, it means that Chun also considers the laws of genes.Chun has basic knowledge about genes.He even knew about the p53 gene.

However, he pretended to me that he didn't know about genes.He is trying to deceive people, and he doesn't want people to know that he is the one who designed that set of rules, right?But why did he do such a troublesome thing?Why should the first letter of the graffiti and the first letter of the arson site conform to the law of genes?What is the reason? There are reasons.I immediately came to a conclusion. It's all my fault, it's all for me. "Big brother will lose motivation if he joins in the middle of the game, but he will become tenacious and enthusiastic when he participates in the game by himself." That's what Chun said about me.I, who get angry just because someone else writes down the answer to the crossword puzzle, should also enthusiastically participate in the arson incident and the graffiti puzzle, right?Moreover, if the puzzle is related to my job content, then I must be more enthusiastic, right?Perhaps Haru had anticipated this. That said, he wanted to involve me in all of this. Foolish plans, ethereal tricks.I was surprised by his actions, but I was also not reconciled because everything was as he expected. I also participated in this event. But then I wondered again, why must I be involved? Goda Junko blinked slowly and looked at me steadily. At the same time, I felt a new uneasiness attacking me.I almost collapsed.Looking at the plastic bottle in his right hand, he gradually realized that maybe this bottle of water was mixed with some other chemical substances.That sudden drowsiness was not normal. "I fell asleep suddenly, it should be because of the medicine. Chun put the medicine in the bottle." "Why did he do this on purpose?" I seem to be able to hear Chun answering in my ear: "Because big brother is my amulet." "Probably, he called me out because he wanted to be with me; but he didn't want me to know what he was doing, so he let me fall asleep again." "what is this?" "It seems so from what happened." "Then Brother Quanshui is regarded as a charm to avoid evil, a talisman or something like that?" "Exactly." I laughed at myself, "Where did spring go?" Goda Junko suddenly raised her right hand like a ghost, pointing obliquely in front of me. "Turn around there, and there is an elementary school opposite." "Did you see him go in?" "I climbed the school gate to get in. That's why I was very worried, so I came to wake up Brother Quanshui." "I hope you can tell me that you said that you followed a very suspicious man when you were studying fire in the Northeast last time. But if the arsonist is Chun, then who is that suspicious man?" "It seems that Chun called him out. I saw the two of them talking in the building, although only for a short while. The man quickly went back angrily." "Then Chun lit the fire?" Was he trying to frame that man? "The man appeared after the fire was lit." "Ah..." The answer appeared in front of my eyes without warning. "What's wrong?" "I see." "Understood?" "Chun he..." I just opened my mouth, but immediately I didn't know how to go on, I was very afraid to say all this. "Will Chun still set fire?" "Probably...not anymore." If it was arson, there was no need for me to fall asleep.He didn't drug the water during the last ambush.He must have wanted to do something else.That's why I fell asleep this time.Before I knew it, I had already taken a step, the bottle of water was left on the bench by me, and my goal was that elementary school. Goda Junko rushed to my side in a hurry: "Is Haru all right?" "He's mentally unstable." My pace was getting faster and faster. "Brother Quanshui, what do you understand?" Goda Junko's face turned pale: "What will happen next? Isn't it arson? Is it a good thing? Or a bad thing?" "Good and bad." As the school gate approached, because of the terrible premonition in my heart, I wanted to stop many times, but every time I walked faster. "Brother Quanshui... a little slower." Goda Junko's breath was short, but I couldn't hear it at all. Those novels flashed through my mind again. Salamander was very sad.Melos was very angry.What about spring?What will happen to spring? "He decided to get rid of that evil and tyrannical king." I remembered this sentence again. Good and bad things are about to happen.I never knew that the playground in the middle of the night was so dark.Maybe there is something wrong with the street lighting on this street.In short, you can hardly see your fingers. I climbed up to the school gate, and after landing on the ground inside the school, I wanted to help Goda Junko open the school gate, but the lock on the door looked quite strong, and it was impossible to open it.In desperation, Goda Junzi had to be several times more cautious, and turned over the school gate one by one.Her fingers were digging into the checks, and her trousers were scratched to rust, but she didn't care. "Chun must be on the playground, right?" Goda Junko muttered softly. "Why do you think that?" I asked her, leaning down. "Feeling." She answered seriously and truthfully. "Stalker hunch." She joked despite her nervous expression. "Yes, Chun is on the playground." "Is this my brother's premonition?" The playground is just opposite the teaching building.On the trail paved with gravel, every step you take will make a sound, which makes people shudder.For whatever reason, we agreed to approach it cautiously. With few lights, we waited for our eyes to get used to the darkness around us before heading to the playground with trepidation.The four-story teaching building with a rectangular outline looked down on us like a giant, and those closed windows became his silent expression.This burly but silent giant is glaring at us at the moment, as if yelling: "Go to the playground!" Through the corridor leading to the gymnasium, we arrived at the playground. Only then did we notice that it was fogging up.The playground is surrounded by thick fog, like burning in thick smoke.The air is damp.I could see Junko Goda standing next to me, but if it was any further away, I couldn't see it at all.A hazy mist floated in the darkness, and the entire playground looked like a bottomless abyss.As the saying goes, "the mist curls up and the incense burns." I stretched my arms forward, and I couldn't even move forward without doing this.I can't even judge the situation within ten meters ahead. If I advance rashly like this, I might suddenly fall into the abyss. I suddenly found myself holding my breath at some point, and I naturally felt a tightness in my chest.I quickly opened my mouth to breathe, while paying attention not to make a sound.Because I have lost the sense of distance and can't judge the positional relationship at the moment, and at the same time, because of the effect of sleeping pills and being woken up suddenly, my head is still dizzy, and the endless fog in this dark playground makes people feel bad I couldn't help but feel dizzy several times. "Is Spring here?" "Perhaps." Although I said so, in this fog, it is not easy to find someone. "What is Chun going to do?" "Duel." "Hey?" "He's going to a duel." My voice was very hoarse. I don't know whether what I see above my head at this moment is the sky, the teaching building, or the ground made of gravel.I just felt like I was stuffed into a dark and steaming box.So narrow.It's so cramped and dark and scary in here - I almost want to cry. "What showdown?" When she asked me that, I squatted down and rubbed my left knee against the gravel on the ground. I covered my eyes with my hands and felt that my breathing was abnormally disordered. "What are you going to fight with?" Goda Junko asked in a low voice. I have no questions and answers.No, it should mean that when I was about to answer, a voice came from the thick fog in front of me.On this stage filled with only white water vapor, we heard whispers of conversations.Apart from this dialogue, we never hear any other voices.I pricked up my ears and listened carefully, wishing that the skin pores all over my body could melt the eardrum.Although I don't want to hear it, I have to.I warned myself, but turned a deaf ear to the advice that came from me. - I've given you a chance. We knew immediately who was speaking.Goda Junko nodded silently.Such a calm tone could only be from my younger brother. There's another man there too.Although I couldn't see his face, I could immediately know who he was. — Are you out of your mind? The man opposite answered. "It's definitely him." I thought to myself.It must be Katsuragi's voice.It's the man I'm running the genetic test on.The man who welcomes guests with a naked woman lying on the bed.I slowly closed my eyes.We were already surrounded by thick fog, and we couldn't see anything even with our eyes wide open, but I still closed my eyes and pretended not to see.In that split second, I already knew what was going to happen.So, I closed my eyes.No, I told myself so. "Who is he talking to?" Goda Junko's voice was softer than a mosquito. "It's Katsuragi." "Who is he?" "It's the man you followed earlier, the one who talked to Chun at the fire site." "Who is he?" Goda Junko repeated the same question, and I almost cried. "Didn't I answer you just now?" "Not this, I want to ask what kind of relationship Chun has with that man." I can't answer.I know it's not something that needs to be explained.I seem to hear a regular drumbeat, boom, boom, boom, boom, which is annoying.Where did the metronome come from in the thick fog? After I thought about it, I realized that it was the sound of my heartbeat.My blood boils. —Are you the prisoner who set fires everywhere? Although Katsuragi's voice was not loud, it had the momentum to resound through the ground. ——That is a warning to you, I have given you a chance. But Chun's answer was as thin as a fog molecule, and he admitted the fact that he was an arsonist gracefully and lightly, like reciting a poem. --you are my son? When Katsuragi finally said this sentence, my mind went blank.I felt Goda Junko's gaze shoot into my face immediately, but I couldn't respond at all.All I could hear was a scream from the bottom of my heart. ——I also investigated your matter.And immediately understood.Don't you have no shame in your family?The family actually brought up a child born of rape in such an open and aboveboard manner?What a shameless family. Katsuragi's words hurt me.I almost got out of control and picked up the stick and beat him. "Ah..." I groaned in pain, squatting on the ground trying to suppress the feeling of nausea. And when I was suppressing the feeling of vomiting, I seemed to see people standing around Chun.Wearing the same exaggerated costumes, they listened to their conversation without saying a word.I was like, no, that's how I see it.There are countless bystanders lurking in this thick fog.Countless juries, countless judges, countless witnesses, and countless spectators are standing here, talking softly at a volume that I can't hear at all.I can feel their presence, and the hairs on my body stand on end.I trembled, although I couldn't see anything clearly in this thick fog, so I couldn't really see such a group of people-but the imaginary group of people was so real. —Yes, that shame is me. Chun's voice was faint. --what you up to?They also sent photos of the fire site to my house.Moreover, I was called out last time.Also say "Are you introspecting?" I didn't know what introspection was since I was born.Isn't that rape?What's wrong with rape?You can tell me about it. Although Katsuragi was very excited, he didn't show the slightest timidity.From a certain point of view, this kind of fearlessness is also commendable. ——Already, no need. Chun's voice melted in the mist, and then gradually dispersed.At this moment, I seemed to hear Katsuragi gasp. "What's wrong with rape? Tell me about it." Katsuragi, who said this, probably planned to refute Haru with the same arguments that I used when I was talking nonstop.I plan to use arguments such as "I have an imagination" and "It's not me who is suffering" to silence the other party.Up to now, he is still trying to convince others with a bunch of fallacies, and he is complacent about it.So, after he heard Haru's reaction, he got scared. "Already, there's no need." Chun had already given up arguing with him, and this calm resignation made him embarrassed.That's why he made such a dry voice.Although I closed my eyes, I could still clearly imagine Chun's appearance at this time.Even when the fog obscures my vision, even when I close my eyes, even when it's all so irrational, I can see what I wouldn't otherwise see. I am absolutely sure that what Chun is holding must be that Jordan bat. Katsuragi should have escaped by hiding in the dense fog immediately, but he didn't.He even opens his mouth to say lines that are intended to be moving: —Are you going to kill your own father? Genetically speaking, he has every right to say so.He also said: ——If you don't know, let me tell you.Because of me, you can stand here now. These words are exactly the same as the proposition that often troubles me in my dreams, should I choose my mother or choose Chun? ——If I hadn't fucked that woman, you wouldn't have been born at all.do you know?I am your father.We are connected by blood.How could you plan to kill your own father. —So sorry, my father is the one fighting cancer in the hospital right now. ——Is he just raising you up?There is no blood relationship.Your real father is me!To kill a father is a great sin, not even an animal would do it.Can you live peacefully after you kill me?Which is worse, a murderer or a rapist?Have you not considered it?Although I have fucked many women, I have never killed anyone.Do you want to be worse than me? Chun's answer was very simple, at first I could hear him exhaling, maybe he was smiling.Then, he said this- ——An outsider for no reason, don't put on airs like a father. Boom. A sound.There was no pleasure in this dull voice, which made me unable to stand still in the dense fog with my eyes closed.Then, I felt someone fall.Katsuragi rolled to the ground. The ceremony continues.The solemn air flows quietly. Although it is only an illusion, I seem to hear Schubert's "Ave Maria" ringing in my ears.As if to wash away the horror and horror brought about by the act in front of me, the solemn, gentle and overflowing music sounded in my mind. Someone is moving.It is the footsteps of spring.The whistling wind must have been because he was swinging a bat.The voice sounded again. Boom, boom. A sound that was almost disappointingly dull.It's like the sound of a wooden fish.In the silence, I only heard the sound of "Boom, Boom, Boom" lingering in my ears.Junko Goda leaned close to me. Kurosawa sitting across from me was the same as when we met before, looking calm and leisurely, but seemed to have seen through me keenly. For four days I just lived in a trance.Although I still go to work as usual, I have no interest in communicating with my colleagues. Although I still go to work by bicycle, I feel powerless.Rather than living, it would be better to say that I am living.In the middle of the night four days ago, Goda Junko and I still failed to witness what happened in the fog with our own eyes, but walked away step by step.We are fleeing.Even after turning over the school gate, my heartbeat was still rapid, it should be said to be beating faster, so that I had to adjust my breathing several times.Junko Goda and I barely spoke, and after we parted, I rode my bicycle home by myself. Chunyi never called. I didn't contact him either. The events of that day were dubbed "roadside robbery and homicide" by the morning papers the next day.It only occupies a page the size of dried tofu.The body was not found in the primary school, but on a dark path nearby.The body was obviously removed in spring.Because the wallet of the deceased was stolen together, the police identified the suspect as a "killer".The portrait of the deceased published in the newspaper really looked like an actor, and he looked like a decent person. Did the murderer do it? "You look bad." Kurosawa said. I was suddenly called out by Kurosawa on his mobile phone. "Evening is fine too, do you want to meet?" he said.And I know my current exhausted mental state very well, so I plan to reject him.But he said again: "Can you tell me about your family?" Hearing this, I couldn't help but understand. "I know something." Kurosawa's face did not show the satisfaction and superiority of the "discoverer", which made me feel a little good, and I even thought that the person in front of me might not belong to this narrow world, but an emissary sent from another place. "Your father commissioned me to investigate something." "What did Dad entrust you with?" In fact, I didn't expect him to tell me, but Kurosawa seemed to laugh at my premonition, took out a map from his bag, and said to me unexpectedly: "Let me explain." "Shouldn't the content of the entrustment be kept secret?" "Ah, this." He smiled. "You also said that even if you were tortured, you wouldn't reveal it." "Unless I smash my knees with a hammer." "But now it's not time to hit your knee with a hammer." "I will not allow myself to reveal secrets because I am being tortured. But, when I want to say it myself, I will say it." "Your rules are really random." This was the first time I laughed in four days, "This detective is too bad." "To be honest, I don't think I'm a detective." His tone was flat, and it didn't sound like he was making excuses or nonsense. I don't find it offensive.I reached for my coffee cup and brought it to my lips, my eyes on the map.A lot of words were written with a pen on the spread out map. "This map was lent to me by your father." "The place where the fire started is circled here. Dad is very motivated." "It was really motivated at first." "At first?" "He thought that the location of the fire was regular, so he conducted an investigation. According to his own words, 'At first it was simply a reasoning game for fun'. But, looking at these marks, he gradually discovered other things." "What is it?" I asked anxiously. "It seems to say that these actually represent other places. He remembered that he had seen such a map. So he entrusted me to help him confirm whether his memory is wrong." "Elsewhere?" I moved the glass to the table and looked at the map carefully.Soon, I suddenly exclaimed: "Ah..." This map is very similar to the one posted on the wall by Chun.My father circled the location of the fire with a red pen, and there are about thirty red marks.Moreover, the marks made by Haru are almost the same. "What exactly does this indicate?" "28 years ago..." Kurosawa said, I thought he was going to say "28,000 years ago", is he going to listen to the Neanderthals who are tired of hearing it again? "This is the scene of multiple rape cases that occurred in Sendai 28 years ago." "Huh?" I feel like I've been slapped in the face. "The location of the fire is very close to where a teenager was killed in a serial rape incident." "Why..." I asked, trying to calm myself down. "Why, Dad would know about such things." "It seems that because I was very concerned, I investigated the rape case." Kurosawa did not tell clearly how much his father had told him. "I had no idea Dad ever investigated." It's true, I never heard Dad mention that incident.In other words, no one in our family would ever mention that matter. "He entrusted me to investigate whether the location of the fire is the same as the location of the serial rape 28 years ago." "Is it the mark on this map?" I was reminded of the news bulletin I saw in the library nearly 10 years ago, where there was also a map showing the locations of serial rapes. "It can't be wrong. The point where the fire started in the arson incident is basically the same as the place where the rape case happened 28 years ago. Although it can't be said to be the exact same place, it can basically coincide with the place where the case happened at that time. As long as This is immediately apparent upon investigation, even obvious." I stared blankly at the map, not knowing what to say. "So I want to ask you something." "what?" "I accepted your commission not long ago. It was not from your company, but from you personally. Right? Your commission was 'Please investigate the criminal who was arrested in a serial rape case 28 years ago. where now'." "Mr. Kurosawa was very efficient and helped me a lot." "The rapist has now changed his name to Katsuragi and returned to Sendai. I also told you Katsuragi's net worth, job, and address. I also gave you a photo of him taking a woman to a hotel." "Your work is very professional." "What I want to confirm is that you commissioned me to investigate the place where Katsuragi lives now. On the other hand, your father also commissioned me to investigate the rape case 28 years ago, that is, the case committed by Katsuragi. At the same time, The scene of the rape case is being set on fire one after another. Are these three things related?" "Why do you want to know?" "To enrich life." Kurosawa said with a smile. I gulped down my cold coffee and decided to tell the detective in front of me without any concealment. "These three things should be related." I replied first, "However, this was not done after everyone discussed it. It was just a coincidence." "Coincidentally? I forgot one more thing. A few days ago, the newspaper published a roadside robbery and murder case, and the victim was Katsuragi." "yes." "Is this also a coincidence?" "It can be said to be a coincidence, or it can be said not to be." "Then I will continue to ask." "Please." "You entrusted me to investigate Katsuragi's address. What is the purpose?" "Yes," I lowered my eyes, then raised them quickly. I had already decided not to lie or hide anything, so I answered very easily, "That's very simple." "How to say?" "I'm going to kill him." My voice didn't shake, which reassured me that I wasn't making a confession, so there was no need for shame or regret. "I was going to kill that man from the start," I told him. "Katsuragi?" "Yes, I intend to kill Katsuragi." "I see." Kurosawa's expression didn't change, he didn't seem to be forcing himself, I couldn't help but feel very incredible. "Aren't you scared?" I asked him subconsciously. "Is it better to be scared?" Kurosawa's reaction was still calm, "How do you plan to kill him?" "First of all, I have to confirm that Katsuragi is indeed the prisoner, and then I will do it." "What do you mean by confirmation?" "I don't have the confidence to be sure that Katsuragi is the rapist back then. The name has also changed, maybe there is some tolerance in it. I'm not doubting Mr. Kurosawa's ability, but I need absolute confirmation. Anyway, I intend to kill , must not kill by mistake." "How are you going to confirm?" "Paternity test, confirmed with DNA." "Is DNA a gene?" "Mr. Kurosawa, you also know that our company is engaged in related businesses, right? So I conducted an inspection. I lied to him that it was a case inspection, and the genes of Katsuragi were collected. Then a paternity test was carried out-with the genes of the prisoner's son. Comparison." Kurosawa didn't ask me how to obtain the genes of the rapist's son, as if he was not interested, or he already knew the answer. "Then, the results of the paternity test of the two came out. They are indeed the real father and son. Therefore, Gecheng must be the rapist." I remembered the scene when the hero contacted me.Haru and Katsuragi are father and son.In fact, I still had a little bit of luck in my heart, and hoped that this would not be the result, but the truth easily betrayed me. "Then how are you going to kill him?" "It's a very simple method, please don't laugh at me." "Maybe I will laugh." "I'm going to meet with Katsuragi and let him drink alcohol mixed with sleeping pills. For this, I even prepared sleeping pills." Since this is a regular drug in our company, it is very convenient for me, "Then, put the sleeping pills Katsuragi stuffed it into the car, and took it to Qingye Mountain." "Green Leaf Mountain?" "Did you know that there is a bridge over the valley there? Under the bridge is a valley 100 meters high. Moreover, part of the railing there is broken. If you accidentally hit it, the car will overturn and fall." "It's too dangerous." Heise said calmly, "What is the government doing?" "I noticed it a long time ago. So going to take advantage of it. I figured it would just be an accident." "But you've given up on it?" "No, I was taken a step ahead." It really was a step ahead.Four days ago, I called Katsuragi to meet him in order to kill him.If we can meet each other that day, I should have taken him to Qingye Mountain. "That robbery murderer wasn't you?" he said. "I knew it from the beginning." "why?" "Human observation. I am very confident in my professionalism." Kurosawa seemed not to be moved by my confession at all, but I was surprised by his calm and even leisurely appearance, "By the way, let me say two more words In other words, I know the arsonist wasn't you." "correct." "When you looked at the map just now, you didn't even dream that the location of the fire would be the same as the location of the rape." "I haven't thought about it at all." "Can I ask you something?" "I will not tell you the name of the arsonist." "I know." "Hey?" "I understand that you will never say the name of that person. You must not say it. And I have no interest in that. But, I hope you can tell me why he set the fire? I think the arsonist and killing Katsuragi It should be the same person. It should be. But what's the point of arson?" The conversation between Haru Mist and Katsuragi came to my mind. "I gave you a chance", "That was a warning to you", "Send me the photos of the arson scene", "Are you reflecting on yourself?" From these conversations, I can roughly guess the truth. "It was to remind him of the serial rape." "So set fire to it?" "The prisoner sent photos of the fire site, newspapers, etc. to Katsuragi's residence, trying to remind him of the serial rapes. He probably expected Katsuragi to notice that the fire happened along the rape scene. Then tell him 'I have not forgotten the crimes you committed', hope he will face his past sins again." "To threaten him?" "It's to make him reflect on himself." I explained to Kurosawa, and at the same time told myself. "In other words, he wants Katsuragi to look at the photos of the successive arson incidents and say, 'This is the place where I committed crimes. I'm sorry. I'm already thinking about it. Please don't do it again'?" "As stupid as this sounds, it should be." I bowed my head. Haru gave Katsuragi a chance.在对东北研习纵火的时候，他曾经把葛城叫出来，确认他是否有所反省。虽然他早就知道葛城是个与反省以及后悔无缘的人，他依旧按照顺序一步一步地来。 《奔跑吧，梅洛斯》里，那个邪恶暴虐的国王在最后也承认了自己的错误。或许春对葛城也抱有这样的期待。 我想起之前在电视里看到的电视新闻，然后说：“国家之间的战争也是如此。” “上升到国家了吗？”黑泽笑了。 “想要对别的国家开战，也需要一步一步来的不是嘛？按照正常的手续，就能以正义为名发动战争。” “是为了获得国际舆论的支持吗？” 大概春期待的是葛城不反省不后悔。他给过葛城反省的机会，但如果他却拒不认罪的话，那么他就可以毫不犹豫地实施自己的复仇计划。春或许是这么考虑的。revenge?For whom?为母亲？为自己？还是为父亲？不，并不只是这样，我想，他复仇的对象或许是更为抽象的、对善恶没有明确判断、暧昧模糊以对的敌人。 “就算是这样，也没必要去烧那些毫无关系的大楼吧？”黑泽又说。 "yes." “因为葛城没有反省，所以才杀了他？” "I think so." “那个犯人对葛城怀有如此深刻的仇恨吗？” “恨他恨到几乎希望自己不曾出生。” 我伸手拿起杯子，用喝水掩饰起那几欲作呕的呻吟声。 黑泽将地图摺好，开始总结陈词。 “你的外套很帅。”我看向黑泽身上的衣服。 “就是我盼了很久那件让·保罗·高缇耶。”他有些得意地扬起了鼻。 “你买了？”和我想的一样，黑泽很适合这件衣服。 “有了些收入，终于买得起了。” “啧啧……侦探真是赚。” “不，这是我用老本行赚的。” “啊，话说回来，你的本行是什么？” “要开自动锁还是比较辛苦的。” “自动锁？那是什么？” “你对小偷、小偷闯空门有什么看法？” “小偷？闯空门？偷东西是犯罪啊！” “不是的。”黑泽微笑着说，这一瞬间我几乎分不清他的年龄，从少年到青年、甚至是中年，他身上有着各种年龄阶段男性的特质，“如果世间平等，那么就不会有小偷。小偷是为了均衡原本就不平等的分配。也就是说，他们只是为了恢复平等。” “你是想说小偷其实很伟大？” “萨德的小说里好像有类似的故事，我挺喜欢的。” “是说萨德侯爵吗？我弟弟很讨厌萨德和巴塔耶。” “是啊，巴塔耶的确令人反感。”黑泽摊了摊手。 “萨德OK，巴塔耶就NG吗？” “巴塔耶说，小偷因为缺少人性所以欲望更强烈。自说自话也该有个限度。” “你竟然是帮小偷说话呢。” “唔，差不多吧，同伴意识。” “这个有什么关系吗？” “和这件高缇耶有关。”黑泽整理了下衣服的领子，“正是由于纠正了不平等，我才能买下这件衣服。” 完全听不懂，我摆出投降的姿势。但是，这样彼此争论、意味不明的对话却使我平静了心绪。和黑泽说话时那一丝小小的焦虑与害怕也渐渐地消除。 “真不可思议。” "what?" “和黑泽先生这么说说话，心情似乎好了很多。” “本来心情不好吗？” “不好。实际上这四天来，我一直都在苟且度日。感觉自己正蜷缩在慢慢合起的贝壳里。”庆幸的是，家里还有大量的安眠药，我甚至考虑过不如把它们吃了。如果黑泽没有打电话来，或许今天回家后我就会付诸行动。将大量的药片嚼碎和着水吞下，或许这样还来的好过点。“我可以夸张地说句话吗？” “如果你想说，我不阻止。” “我感觉被黑泽先生拯救了。” “你可以更夸张地赞美我。” “感觉像在跟辅导员说话。” 黑泽的脸上露出一丝困惑：“之前也有人这么说过。” “那么，你打算怎么做？”在准备走出茶馆的时候，我问黑泽。 "what?" “黑泽先生已经了解了路边抢劫杀人的真相。” “不知道的更多。” “但大致已经知道了不是吗？” “大致……嗯，差不多吧。” "Then what are you going to do?" "How to do what?" “我想了解，知道这件事情真相的人会采取什么样的行动，希望你告诉我。” 于是，黑泽露出认真的神情：“明天我会打电话。” “你要告诉警察吗？”这也可以理解……我暗忖。 “我？警察？”黑泽大笑，“怎么会，是政府啦，打电话给政府。告诉他们青叶山的桥很危险，让他们快点修理。” 父亲手术的前两天我打了电话给春。这是他自小学发生的那件事之后第一次跟我说话，但他的口吻却依旧是淡淡的：“我也有话要跟大哥说。”他的话里丝毫不显慌张与紧张，反而主动提出，“明天去看爸爸之前先找个地方见面吧。” “哪里碰头好呢？”我一边说一边想到，“不如去给妈妈上坟吧？”虽然我自认为这个提议很好，但春却立刻拒绝了。 “大哥，这画面就像俗滥的悬疑电视剧一样。” 虽然是在电话里，我还是涨红了脸。 “那种电视剧里，犯人如果要自白或者被逮捕，一般都会找一个视野很好的悬崖或者是某个重要人物的墓前，无一例外。” “这已经是惯例了吗？那么去哪里见面呢？”我假装没听到春所说的自白与逮捕。 “就我所知，有个很好的地方。” 所以此刻，我们正站在宠物店里。正确的说，是站在宠物店里一排关着狗的笼子前。没有坐的地方，简单来说，我们只是普通的客人。 眼前的黑色迷你腊肠犬此刻正把头枕在前脚上酣睡，那一脸的解脱感令人好不羡慕，仿佛早已放弃了这世界上所有的责任。大概因为今天是工作日，除了我们以外几乎没有什么客人，偶尔会有带着孩子的客人前来询问买猫的事宜。 所谓狗还有猫的气味到底是什么？我一边想一边环视四周。房间里弥漫着一股奇怪的气味，像是体味、尿粪味以及汗味中掺杂着灰尘。我总是分不清，这到底是难闻、令人反感的气味，还是令我安心的怀念感。 店员正在柜台旁忙碌地为狗刷毛，她们的目光偶尔扫向我们，并不是觉得我们可疑，而是被春吸引了吧。虽然她们装得很平静，却反而显得不自然。 “你所说的，很适合两个人说话的地方就是这里？” 我们接下去所要讨论的，或许是此生不会再说第二次的重大话题。我很了解这一点，也已经做好了觉悟。但是，这个地方——这个充斥着狗叫猫叫的宠物店未免过于奇妙。奇妙到几乎让我觉得这是犯规。 “有这么多的狗狗在，不是很幸福吗？”春一脸幸福，“倾听我告白的是大哥你，还有这里的狗狗。” “说什么倾听呀，它睡着了。”我指着迷你腊肠犬。 我们一起笑了。在店员眼里，或许会看成是感情亲密的“男同志”一起来买宠物狗。 “那个，你给这迷你腊肠犬下药了吗？”我坦率地质问。在来宠物商店前，我就已经决定好要这么问。 “我的大哥真是敏锐。”春回答道，随后向我解释，他利用注射器从塑料瓶上方下了药。 “多亏你，我毫无察觉地喝了下去。睡得很熟。我睡着的时候，那天，并没有发生纵火案。” “我回到长椅那边的时候大哥已经不见了。” “乡田顺子把我叫醒了。” "Hey?" “之前那个给我名片，号称乡田顺子的美女，实际上就是以前跟在你屁股后面的那个女生吧？” “大哥太容易被骗了。” “那个女生对你过去的事情几乎了若指掌哦。对你现在的事或许也是。” “那个女生……”春揉了揉太阳穴，“我挺对不起她的。” 我不知道再问什么好，感觉还是什么都别问比较好。 “大哥对这事知道多少？” “'God can talk'、'Ants goto America'、'280 century ago'这些涂鸦艺术作品都是你画的。” “那些不是艺术，只是乱画而已。” “放火烧楼的也是你吧？” "Exactly." 其实春对我如此坦白，我也并不感到惊讶。因为我早已做好了这样的觉悟。可以毫不夸张地说，这几天我正是为此觉悟而活。我是有了觉悟后才决定和春见面的。 店里传来亢奋的狗叫声，像是在揶揄我：“你这样的觉悟足够吗？”虽然眼前的狗丝毫没有要醒来的样子，但我依旧觉得它似乎边睡边质疑：“你这样的觉悟够吗？” “那你为什么要带我去纵火现场？”我问他，“护身符吗？” “要这么说也的确是这样。” “果然是这样嘛。” “唔，但是……”春接下去的话语很短促，“我们兄弟是最强的不是吗？大哥。” 我顿时不知该说什么，脑中瞬间浮现起父亲曾经提起的往事。当时我和春在街道组织的越野识途比赛中获得了最后一名，当时，春倔强地说过：“我和哥哥是最强的。”——还是这句话吗？我很震惊，半晌说不出话来，难道，春一直这么坚信着这一点？ “从小时候起，有什么重要的事情大哥都在我身边，所以，如果大哥不在的话就会不安。” 我想起了春习惯于趋吉避凶。 “我觉得就算一个人做不到的事，只要和大哥在一起就能办到。” "Are you serious?" "real." “你真的是因为这个理由才把我卷进来？所以会模仿基因弄出那个暗号也是为了让我产生兴趣？为了让我也加入？”我很难相信这一点，于是飞快地问出口，“你是故意这么绕圈子的？” “如果我一开始就把我的目的告诉大哥，你一定不会帮我的。再怎么说也是协助杀人啊。”春说。 “我会帮的。” “哎？”这次轮到春吃惊了。 “大概，会帮你的。”这话其实并不能表现出我的心意，我可以很肯定地说，我确信我一定会帮他。“纵火地点是一开始就决定好的吗？”我没有说出28年前的那场强奸案。 “大哥也注意到这点了？” 我没告诉他注意到这点的是父亲。“真有那么巧吗？纵火目的地附近正好都有以A或者T、G、C开头的建筑？” “意外地都有哦。”春摇头，“目的地这个说法不够严谨。其实只要是在目的地附近纵火就可以了。在这附近如果有这几个字母开头的建筑当然最好，大部分的大楼里都有很多公司，所以可以勉强从里面找。” 朝日房产中介就是这种情形吧。春说的是“朝日房产中介被放火”，但实际上被烧的却是那栋大楼的一楼。这是为了符合基因的法则而硬扯出来的。 “为什么要纵火？” “这是因为……”春的声音细不可闻，他低着头，用食指摸着自己的鼻子，“木花开耶姬。”他小声地说，“大哥大概已经不记得了。” “那个啊！”我大吃一惊，“我印象深刻啊！” 那是日本神话。被丈夫逼问“你肚子里的孩子真的是我的吗？”的木花开耶姬的故事。我应该是和春一起在电视上看到这个故事的。 “大哥你还记得当时电视屏幕上出现的那句话吗？” 我忍着笑意点头。没有任何指示，我们却异口同声地道： “大火能证明我的清白之身。” 我们同时说出这句话，又几乎在同时笑出声。没错，那个讲述木花开耶姬的节目里曾经偌大地打出过这样的字幕。 “没想到你也记得。” “那真的是印象深刻。” “简直称为精神上的后遗症了。是吗，那么，所以你才会放火？” “我想大火或许能证明那个男人的真正心意。”春很自然地引出了那个男人。 “证明葛城有没有为以往的事情而反省？”我也很自然地说出了那个男人的名字。 “是啊，就是这样。” “通过火灾？” “说了是这样了。”春有些恼羞成怒，很不耐烦地回答。 “你就因为这种事而纵火？” “你真烦啊，大哥。” “模仿木花之佐久夜姬？” "Yes, so to speak." “有老人因为火灾而受伤啊。” 听我这么说，春有一瞬露出了被刀刺穿的痛苦表情，而这时，我似乎看见他被“后悔”所包围：“是的，因为我的任性，有老人被受伤，建筑物也被烧了。” “你觉得这是不对的吗？” “不。”春的回答和我预料的相反，他坚定而迅速地回答道，“我没有反省，也没有负罪感。” "Hey?" “如果我会这么想，那一开始就不这么做了。” 春的语气很坚定，表情却很温和，他眯着眼看着笼中的小狗。我听着春的话，并没有因为他那没有责任心以及傲慢而迷惑。恐怕春是怀着我无法想象的决心做这件事的。因此，他早就舍弃了那些会使他半途而废的内疚感以及罪恶感。 春把脸凑向另一边的狗，那应该是一只小柴犬。小小的身体正在笼中愉快地走动。他把手指伸进笼子逗弄着它，嘴上继续说道：“那家伙完全没有反省。”他说，“他甚至完全不记得了。我给他火灾现场的照片，甚至给他标有记号的地图好让他回忆起以前的事情。但对他来说，那些却成为了真正的往事。” "yes." 春的表情并不痛苦。或许就跟我想的一样，春其实还是期待着葛城能有一丝悔意。 “那么，大哥。”春转向我，“等看了爸爸以后再去好吗？” “去什么？” “去警察局自首。” “你想去找警察？” “怎么可能。”春立刻说，“但是，我做了坏事。” “你所做的事情，不管从哪个角度来说都是好事。”坏的好事，我心中暗暗说道。 “不，在这个世界上，这叫做坏事。而我，大概是个疯子。”春继续在说。 听到这话，我的大脑像被什么刺了一下，紧接着是胸，我的胸口一阵剧痛。就跟春说的一样，他所做的一切在第三者看起来，那就是彻底的、名副其实的犯罪，而犯下这些罪行的他，也一定会被视为可怕、猖狂的人。而且，我也是如此。所以我索性也对他坦白：“其实，你的大哥也想杀了葛城。” 春将脸转向我，似乎并不理解我所说的，只是沉默地眨眼，皱了皱眉。然后，他舒展愁眉：“你的意思是你恨不得杀了他吗？那我就能理解了。” “不是。”我立刻否认了，“这不是比喻。我真的打算杀了他。” “骗人吧。” “不是，我最近一直在准备。我也找到了那个男人的住址。” 春微张着嘴，半天才说道：“大哥恐怕是做不到的。” “我是很认真地在跟你说。”我有些生气自己的勇气与行动力被小觑，“听我说。”我详细解释了自己的计划。就跟告诉黑泽的一样，我向他说明了我打算利用安眠药与酒使葛城烂醉如泥，随后让他撞到青叶山上的桥后摔下去。 春一瞬不瞬地盯着我，像是在估量我的话到底有几分可信。他观察着我的表情以及动作。 “你上次跟我提到青叶山的桥时候，我真的大吃一惊。还以为你已经发现了我的计划。” “大哥，你说的都是真的？” “就算骗你也没有意义吧。” “但是，一旦进行尸检，安眠药立刻就会被发现的。” “哎？是这样吗？”我的脸红了，声音也放低了不少。 “还好大哥没有这么做。全是破绽。果然还是应该由我动手。” 我可以感到他的话语中所蕴藏着的强烈信念。春想亲自动手。对于春来说，那个人是他无法原谅的、同他有着相同基因、在生物学上被称为父亲的存在。如果不能由自己亲手抹杀他，那么未来的日子里，他或许会一直都无法过平静的生活。 春望着脚下，他穿着一双黑色的运动鞋。我不由怀疑那里是否也沾有生活垃圾？我又想起了十多岁时候的春不顾脚被弄脏，发狂地踢着垃圾袋的场景。 “这几天，我一直都觉得很不可思议。” "What's wrong?" "I'm calm." 我轻轻点头表示同意：“你的确很冷静。” “我做了那种事情竟然还能保持冷静。似乎我和电影里常常会看到的、小说里所描写的苦恼无缘。也没有感受到良心上的纠结，更没有几欲作狂的感觉。我很冷静。” “你所做的并不是坏事。” “真是不可思议。读小说的时候，那些人在杀了自己亲人以后，不是会被写得极度苦闷吗？要不就是在犹豫、纠结、烦闷了很久以后才动手杀了自己的父母。但是，实际上我却并没有如此。在这几天里，我的心情十分安详。这才是令我惊讶的。” "indeed." “就像樱花的落英漂浮在水面上一样平静。” “樱花是属于春的。”我从心底这么认为，所以这么说了出来。 “到今天我终于明白了。” “明白什么？” “我早就做好了觉悟。自从爸爸告诉我有关那个人的事情之后，这十年以来，我一直想杀了他。已经十年了，而且是每天想。每一天、每一天，我满脑子都在想这个。所以，我才会毫不慌张，毫不动摇。虽然说这是杀人，却并不怎么像小说。” “是吗？每天啊！”我回应道。是啊，每天啊。I thought to myself.我又想起了那个在垃圾堆放处发狂的春。或许只有那么做，他才可以让潜伏在心底的暴戾之马、烦闷之牛平静下来。每一天、每一天，渐渐地习惯他们的存在，最后终于到了达观的境界。所以他才会这么冷静，毫不慌乱。对于火灾被害者的同情与忏悔也一并消失。也许事情就是这样。我问他是如何找到葛城的。 “我只不过是每天都找他而已，一步一步脚踏实地地搜寻，从不气馁。” “然后他回到了仙台。” “我心里已经做好准备了。” “是的，你心里已经做好准备了。”他把迄今为止一半以上的人生浪费在这件事上，如果在这时退缩反而显得奇怪。 “大哥，你知道疟疾疗法吗？”春突然开口，“19世纪末，梅毒还是不治之症。病菌会潜入人的脑部使人发疯甚至死亡。当时当然没有什么抗生素。这时候，一个精神科医生想到了利用疟疾来治疗。” “疟疾也是病吧？” “蚊子吸血的时候，所携带的疟原虫会借机转移。据说亚历山大大帝也因罹患疟疾而死。总之，患上疟疾的病人往往会发高烧到40度，十分要命。” “那要怎么利用呢？” “梅毒病菌不耐热。所以，让梅毒患者感染已经减弱毒性的疟原虫。这样，利用疟疾所发生的高烧杀死患者脑部的梅毒病菌。而这样的做法，似乎获得了不错的成效。而想出这个办法的精神科医生还获得了诺贝尔奖。” "So what's the matter?" “要不就是让梅毒病菌侵占头脑，要不就是成为疟疾患者，这怎么看都是疟疾比较好。所以，才会有这样的治疗方式。这不就跟我所做的事情一样吗？难道错了吗？为了杀死更大更严重的病毒，于是做了别的坏事。” 我瞥了一眼春，他并没有表现出将错就错的样子，而是正视自己所犯下的罪行。春的口吻虽然干脆利落，但他在这件事上却比谁都要客观。 “难道错了吗？”他有些不安地又说了一次。 我本来想回答“正是这样”，但途中却突然改变了心意，我笑着用手指向他。