Chapter 21 Chapter Sixteen

When Connie got home, she endured some grilling.Clifford, who went out at tea time, did not return until the storm began. Where is the lady?No one knows.Only Mrs. Poe realized that she had gone for a walk in the woods.Go to the woods in this storm! ... This time, Clifford was in a frenzy of nervous excitement.When the lightning flashed, he jumped in surprise, and when the thunder rumbled, he lost his mind for a moment.He looked at the icy thunderstorm.As if the end of the world had arrived, he became more and more manic. Mrs. Poe tried to comfort him. "She'll hide in the cabin in the woods. Don't worry. The lady will be all right."

"I don't like her in the woods in a thunderstorm like this! I don't like her in the woods at all! She's been out for over two hours now. When did she go out?" "You went out not long before you came home." "I didn't see her in the garden. God knows what happened to her there!" "Oh, nothing's going to happen. You see. She'll be back as soon as the rain stops. It's just the rain that stops her." But the rain had stopped, but the lady didn't come back right away. Time passed, the setting sun came out and gave off its last yellow light, but there was still no sign of the lady. knocked.

"It's no use waiting!" said Clifford in a frenzy. "I'll send Field or Betis to her." "Oh, don't do that!" cried Mrs. Poe. "They're going to think there's been a suicide or something. Don't let anyone gossip. . . Let me go over to the cabin and see if she's there. I can find her." " After some persuasion in this way, Clifford allowed her to go. In this way, Connie met on the road, her face was pale, and she hesitated to move forward. "Don't blame me for coming to you, ma'am! Lord Clifford is so mad! He thought you must have been killed by Ray, or by a tree falling down. He was determined to get Field and White out of the way." Tees came to look for the dead body in the woods, so I think it's better for me not to disturb all the servants.

She spoke uneasily, and she could see Connie's face still glowing and dreamy with passion, and she felt that she was angry with her. "Exactly!" said Connie, who had nothing more to say. The two women moved slowly through the wet world.Neither of them spoke.Some large drops of water dripped brightly in the forest.When they reached the big garden, Connie walked ahead.Botai was a little out of breath, and she was getting fatter by the day. "What a fool to make such a fuss about Clifford!" said Connie at last, exasperated, though she was only talking to herself. "Oh! You know what men are like! They're mad. But it's all right when you see your lady."

Connie was annoyed that Boss knew her secret: because she undoubtedly did. Suddenly, Connie was standing on the path. "It's unreasonable that they dare to follow!" she said, her eyes shining. "Oh! Don't say that, madam! If I don't come, he will send those two, and they will go to the cabin. I don't know where the cabin is." Heard this.Connie blushed even more.Although, when she still has a passion in her heart, she can't lie.She couldn't even act like she had nothing to do with the hunter. She looked at the other woman, standing there slyly, with her head bowed. After all, she was a woman too, and she was an ally.

"Oh, well!" said she, "then I have nothing left!" "But don't worry, ma'am! You're just sheltering from the rain in the hut, and it doesn't matter." They got home.Connie went straight into Clifford's room, furious with him, with his pale tense face and protruding eyes. "I've got to tell you, I don't think you need a servant to follow me!" she began. "My God!" he was also furious. "Where have you been, woman? You've been away for hours, and in such a storm! What the hell are you doing in that plague wood? What are you doing here?" The rain has stopped for hours! Hours! Do you know what time it is? You can drive anybody crazy! Where did you go? Why did you go?"

"So what if I don't want to tell you?" She pulled off her hat and shook her hair. He looked at her, his eyes protruding, the whites of which were yellowed, and this rage-his damage was great: the result was that Mrs. Poe had no good time for the next few days, Connie. Suddenly feel guilty. "Indeed!" she said, more gently, "everyone will wonder where I've been! I was just sitting in the cabin when the storm came, and had a little fire, and was very happy." She speaks at ease now.After all, why bother making him sad!He looked at her suspiciously. "Look at your hair!" he said, "look at yourself!"

"Yes." She replied calmly, "I took off my clothes and ran in the rain for a while." He looked at her in astonishment. "You must be crazy!" he said. "Why? What's so crazy about liking rain baths?" "What do you use to dry yourself? "Dried with an old towel and fire." He kept staring at her dumbfounded. "What if someone comes?" "Who's coming?" "Who? Whoever! Where's Mellors? Isn't he here? He must be there for dinner." "Yes, he came after the rain stopped, and he came to feed the short pheasants."

The calm demeanor with which she spoke was astonishing.Mrs. Bo, who was listening in the next room, was overwhelmed with admiration.Just imagine how naturally a woman can adapt to change! " "Suppose he came while you were running naked and crazy in the rain?" "Then I think he must be so frightened out of his wits that he'll run away fearing nothing." Clifford looked at her all the time, motionless.He never knew what was going on in his subconscious mind.He was too panicked, so he couldn't form any clear thoughts in his subconscious mind, and he couldn't admire her by himself.She looked so rosy, so beautiful, so radiant: the radiance of love.

"Anyway," he said, gradually calming down, "you're lucky if you don't catch a bad cold." "Oh, I'm not frightened!" she replied.She was thinking of the man's words: "You have the most beautiful woman's ass!" She wished, she really wished, that she could tell Clifford that someone had said that to her during the thunderstorm.However!She put on the appearance of a disobedient queen, and went upstairs to change her clothes. Clifford was trying to please her that night, reading a new book on the religion of science: he had in his veins a disingenuous religion.He is selfishly concerned with the future of his ego.It was like his literary conversation with Connie.Because the conversation between them is almost chemically produced.They almost chemically modulate their conversations in their heads.

"Well, what do you think of this?" he said, taking the book, "if our universe evolved a few more epochs, you wouldn't have to go out into the rain to cool your hot flesh. Oh, listen Come on!--the universe presupposes two conditions for us: on the one hand, it wears out materially; on the other hand, it ascends spiritually." Connie waited for the next sentence.But Clifford did not read on.She looked at him in amazement. "If it goes up spiritually," she said, "what's left down there, down there where the tail used to be?" "Ah!" said he, "you have to pay attention to what the author means. I think what he said is that ascending is the opposite of depleting." "Then it can be said that there is something wrong with the spirit, and it has come out of the shell!" "Well, be serious, don't joke, what do you think?" She looked at him again. "Material depletion?" she said. "I see you are getting fatter and fatter, and I don't necessarily deplete myself. Do you believe that the sun is smaller than it used to be? I don't. I think Adam gave Eve Apples may not be bigger than our orange cores, what do you think?" "Okay, listen to the following: the universe has passed slowly, beyond our imagination, and has reached a new situation of creation. In this situation, the physical world we see today will become becomes an ethereal ripple indistinguishable from nothingness." She hesitated absurdly, and all sorts of inconvenient words welled up in her mind; but all she said was: "What a stupid, deceitful nonsense! As if his poor little senses knew what was going to happen in such a long, slow time! That's just to say that he was a material failure himself, so he wanted to make the whole world The universe is also a material loser! Nonsense hypocrisy!" Ah, hang on!Do not interrupt the great solemn words: The present condition of the world has been born out of an unimaginable past, and will perish in an unimaginable future.What remains is the endless kingdom of abstraction, the ever-changing creativity of the new, and the wise God who dominates the universe.That, that is the conclusion! " Connie listened contemptuously. "He's out of his mind, out of his mind," she said. "What absurdity! What an unimaginable thing. What annihilation of worlds, what ever-changing creativity, and even God together! What idiots say!" "I admit he speaks a little vaguely, like a smokescreen," said Clifford, "but I believe there is some truth to the universe's physical weariness and spiritual ascension." "Yeah! Let it go up then, as long as it keeps me physically safe and solid here in the Nether." "Do you like your physique?" he asked. "I love my physique!" At the same time her heart welled up with these words: "This is the most beautiful, most beautiful woman's ass in the world!" "But your words startle me a little. For Greg is certainly a superfluous thing. It seems to me that women do not enjoy the highest pleasures of the spiritual life." "The highest pleasure?" she said, looking at him, "is that idiot's idea the highest pleasure of the spiritual life! Thank you! I don't want this highest pleasure! I only want the body, and I believe that the life of the body is better than the life of the mind." Life is more real - as long as the body does have life. But there are many people in the world, like your famous wind machine, whose spirits are only attached to their corpses!" He looked at her in astonishment. "The life of the flesh," he said, "is but the life of an animal." "Even this is better than the life of a serious corpse. But you are wrong! The human body is only just beginning to live now. Among the ancient Greek peoples, physical life flourished and was soon destroyed by Plato and Aristotle. , has risen from the grave. This human physical life will be a beautiful, beautiful life in this beautiful universe!" "Honey, you talk as if you're leading this physical life into the world! Yes, you're going to travel, but please don't be so happy, trust me, if there's a God, never mind What kind of God, he will eliminate the intestines and stomachs in the human body. And make human beings a higher and more holy thing." "Why should I believe you, Clifford? I feel that if there were some God, he would wake up in my stomach and rippling there like the dawn of happiness. Why should I believe you? I Believe the exact opposite of what you are!" "Yeah! Really? What made you so strange? Was it running naked in the rain for a while, learning a lesson from the drunken Bacchanalian priestess of old? Or some sensual lust? Or Because you're going to Venice?" "That's the reason; isn't it surprising that you feel so excited about traveling?" she said. "It's strange to be so explicit." "Then I'll just hide it." "Oh, no need! You're almost as excited as you are doing. I almost think I'm going on a trip." "Then why don't you come with me." "The reason we have already said. However, I think the reason for you is because you can say goodbye to all this for a while. There is nothing more exciting than saying goodbye to it at this moment.  … But there must be Avoidance, and any avoidance is a new relationship." "I don't want any new relationship." "Don't talk too much, God is listening," he said. "No! I don't talk too much;" she said crisply. But she's not less excited about traveling to cut off old relationships.This is something she can do nothing about. Clifford, who is incompetent, plays cards and gambles with Mrs. Poe all night until she falls asleep and wants to die. The day of Hilda's coming came, and Connie and Mellors had agreed that, if nothing hindered their evening of love, she would hang a green scarf at her window; otherwise, hang a red scarf. Mrs. Poe helped Connie with her luggage. "A change of air will be of great use to my lady." "Yes, I think so too. You have to take care of Baron Clifford's affairs by yourself for a while, don't you mind?" "Ah, no! I can handle his stuff. I mean, I do everything he needs me to do. Do you think he's better than he was?" "Oh, much better, you've done some amazing things for him!" Oh, where!But men are all the same; they're just babes and you have to flatter them, trick them with sweet talk, make them believe they can do whatever they want, don't you think so?lady. " "I'm afraid I don't have much experience with this sort of thing." Connie stopped packing. "Even your husband, do you have to coddle him like a baby and seduce him with sweet words?" she said, looking at Mrs. Poe. Mrs. Poe also stopped. "Speaking of him".She said, "Yeah, I have to flatter him too. But he usually knows what I'm talking about, and that's what I have to say. But he usually backs down." "Does he never put on airs, Mr. Monsieur?" "No! Sometimes, though, when I see the difference, I know I have to give in, but Ordinary always gives in. No, he never puts on airs like a gentleman, and neither do I, and I know I can." No matter how tough you are with him, you will make concessions; although such concessions are sometimes very disadvantageous." "What if you get tough?" "Oh, I don't know, I've never been tough, even if he's wrong, and if he's stubborn, I back down. You know, I'd never want anything to be broken between us, if you're stubborn about a man , that's the end. If you love a man, when he's really made up his mind, you've got to give in, whether you have a reason or not. You've got to give in, or something's going to break. But, I have to He said, sometimes when Dedi sees me making up my mind, he backs down even when I don't respond, and I think it's the same for both parties." "Do you do that with all your patients?" Connie asked. "Oh, that's different. I'm not like that with them. I know what's good for them, or I try to know, and then I try to do it for their good. That's not the same as what you really love. Same, very different, if you really love someone, you can love almost anyone, even if he doesn't need you, but that's different, you don't really love him, a person Having truly loved once, it is doubtful if you can truly love again." This startled Connie. "Do you think a person can only love once?" she asked. "Love once, or never, most women never love, never begin to love, they don't know what love is. Men are no exception. Me, when I see a woman in love, I have all sympathy for him." "Do you think men are irritable?" "Yes, if you hurt their vanity. But women are not the same? But men's vanity is a little different from women's." Connie considered these words, and she began to feel a little suspicious about her going to Venice. In fact, didn't she want to avoid her lover on purpose?Although it was only for a short time, he knew it, so his expression was so weird and sarcastic. Although!Life is often dominated by the machinery of the environment, and Connie is the victim of this machinery.She couldn't get out of it in five minutes, and she didn't even have the heart to get out of it. On Thursday morning, Hilda arrived at the appointed time, driving her two-seater limousine, her trunk strapped securely to the back, and, like the family, she looked dignified and virginal; But as well as peace at least, she had a stubborn spirit, a devilish stubborn self-will, which her husband had discovered.But now, the husband is asking for a divorce from Hajime.As for her, although she has no lover, she has given him a lot of convenience to make his request.now.She is estranged from the men.She was content to be master of herself, and of her two children, whom she intended to bring up "well," whatever that term meant. In the car, Connie was only allowed to take a suitcase.But she had sent a large trunk to her father, to be taken away by train.Her father had just arrived in London from Scotland.Why did he think it was necessary to take a car to Venice?It was too hot to travel by car in Italy on a July day, so he took the train in comfort. In this way, Hilda, like a generalissimo, seriously planned the important events of the brigade loss.She and Connie were talking upstairs in the house. "But, Hilda," said Connie, a little appalled at what she was going to say. "I'm going to spend the night here and near here; not here; near here." Hilda's grey, incredulous follow, watching her sister.Her appearance seemed very calm, but she was often in a fit of rage. "Spread the other party, where is it?" She asked softly. "Hilda, you know I'm in love with someone, don't you?" "Yes, I know what's going on." "He lives near here, then. I'm going to spend my last night with him, and I must! I've said yes." Connie became stubborn. Hilda bowed her Minerva-like head silently, then looked at her. "Will you tell me who he is?" she said. "He's our hunter," faltered Connie, flushing brightly like a child who's done something wrong. "Connie!" said Hilda, sticking her nose out in disgust--a gesture passed down from her mother. "I understand, but he is indeed a lovely man, and he is indeed a man who understands tenderness." Connie attempted to defend her lover. Hilda, like bright-faced Athena, bowed her head in thought.In fact, she was furious.But she didn't dare to show it, because Connie, who was so close to her father, would immediately start a fight. Doubtless Hilda disliked Clifford and his cool air of greatness, and she felt that he was making shameless use of Connie.She had hoped that her sister would leave him.But she belonged to the solid middle classes of Scotland, and she hated any debasement of her own status.Or things that demean the reputation of the family. "You will be sorry!" she said. " "No! I'm not sorry!" cried Connie, blushing. "He's a rare exception, and I do love him, and he's a wonderful lover! Hilda was still thinking. "You'll tire me of him for a second," she said, "and then you'll be ashamed of it your whole life." "No, never! I hope I'm going to have a child of his soon." "What, Connie!" said Hilda, stern as a hammer, and pale with rage. "If you and I could, there would be a child, and if I had his child, I'd be madly proud." Hilda knew it was useless to argue with her, she mused. "Didn't Clifford guess something?" she asked. "Oh, no! Suspect what?" "I am convinced that you must have given him a lot of opportunities to be suspicious." Xi Nier said. "No, not at all." "I think what's going on tonight is pure insanity, where does that guy live?" "In the cottage beyond the woods." "Is he not married?" "It's over! But his woman has deserted him." "What age?" "I don't know, older than me." Connie's every answer made Hilda more angry, as angry as her mother was when she was alive, and she couldn't be more angry, but she still held it back. "If I were you, I would never do what happened tonight." She advised quietly. "I can't! I must spend the night with him to-night, or I can't go to Venice, I never can." Hilda recognized her father's voice from Connie's words, and she had to give in, but it was nothing but diplomacy, and she agreed to dine with Connie at Mansfield, and take her back after dark. At the end of the mountain road to the cottage, go there to find her in the morning.She herself was to spend the night at Mansfield, which was only half an hour's drive, if the car went fast, but she was so angry at her sister's sabotage of her plans that she smothered it in her heart. Connie hung a bright green scarf over her window sill. In her anger towards Connie, Hilda felt lenient towards Clifford, who was a wise man after all.It is better to say that he has no performance; there is one less reason to quarrel!Hilda didn't want any more physical love, the thing that turns men into selfish, hateful little devils.Connie's life is actually more comfortable than most women's lives, but she doesn't look like her. And Clifford concluded that Hilda was, after all, an unquestionably bright woman, the sort of woman who would make a perfect assistant and companion if a man wanted to be politically active.Yes, she was not so childish and unreliable as Connie. In the Great Hall, where everyone had an early afternoon tea, the Great Hall door was left open to let in the sun.Everyone seemed a little out of breath. "Goodbye, Connie, girls! Come back safe and sound!" "Goodbye, Clifford! Yes, I'll be back soon!" Connie almost softened. "Goodbye, Hilda! Keep one eye on her, please." "I shall use both eyes," said Hilda, "and she shall never be so lost." "That's the guarantee!" "Good-bye, Mrs. Poe! I know you will serve Lord Clifford well." "I will do my best, ma'am." "Write to me when you have any news, and tell me everything about Lord Clifford," "Yes, ma'am, I will not forget, I wish you good luck and come back soon!" Everyone waved their handkerchiefs, and the car drove away. Connie turned her head and saw Clifford sitting in a wheelchair on the steps. After all, he was his husband, and Wragby was her close relative, which was determined by circumstances. Mrs. Tibbs opened the gate, wished her a safe journey, and the car slipped out of the great garden, dark with groves, onto the high road, where the miners were trudging home.Hilda headed for the Cross Hill road, which was not the main road, but the road to Mansfield, and Connie put on her dust goggles.They drove along the railway track, which was in the trench below them.Then they crossed on the bridge over the trench. "Here's the path to the cottage!" said Connie. Hilda looked angrily down the path. "It's a great pity we can't go on all the way!" she said, "or we'd be in Palmer by nine o'clock." "I'm so sorry for you," said Connie with the glasses on. They were soon in Mansfield.Once upon a time it was a wonderful city.Now it is a depressing miners' city.Hilda stopped at an inn described in a guide book and opened a house, which meant nothing to her, and she was almost too angry to speak.But Connie couldn't help telling her something about the man. "He! He! What's his name? You're talking: He! Hilda said." "I never called him by first name, and he never called me by first name. It's weird to think about it. We just use Mrs. Jeanne and John Thomas sometimes, but his name is Ollie. F. Mellors." "How do you think being Mrs. Oliver Mellors compares to being Baroness Chatterley?" "Much cuter!" Connie is a disappointment!Although, that man has been an officer in the army for four or five years, he must have a certain appearance.He seemed to be a man of distinction, and Hilda softened a little. "But you're going to get tired of him soon," she said, "and then you'll be ashamed of having sex with him. We don't mix with the working class." "But you yourself are a zealous socialist! You are often on the side of the working class." "In a political crisis, I can be on their side; but just because I am on their side, I know how impossible it is to live with them, not because of snobbery, but because we Nothing in tune with their rhythm." Hilda had lived in the political and intellectual circles, so her words were irrefutable. In the hotel, I slowly passed the ignorant evening, and finally had an ambiguous dinner.After supper, Connie picked up something, put it in a little silk bag, and combed her hair again. "Hilda," she said, "love is beautiful after all, it makes you feel that you are alive, that you are at the center of creation." She seemed to be boasting. "I think every Keiko feels the same way," said Hilda. "Is that so? I'm happy for it!" Dusk is wonderfully clear, even in this city, dusk cannot be forgotten, tonight must be a translucent night.Hilda's angry face was as cold as a mask. She drove the car away, and the sisters went back to the original place, but took another road connected by Posso. Connie sat silent in her dust-glasses and hat that concealed her face, while Hilda's objection made her more determined to side with her lover, to whom she would cling to him in spite of everything. As they passed Cross Hill, their headlights were on, and the light of the little train passing by in the trench gave the impression that it was night.Hill's teaching and research office intends to turn into a small road at the end of the bridge.She slowed down a little abruptly, and the car left the road, its headlights shining brightly on the overgrown weed, and Connie looked out, saw a shadow, and opened the door. "Here we come!" she whispered. But Hilda had put out the lights and was concentrating on backing the car and trying to turn her head. "Is there nothing on the bridge?" she asked curtly. "No, you quit." A man's voice said. She backed the car to the bridge, turned around, took a few steps forward on the main road, and then backed into the lane, under an elm tree, overwhelmed the grass and hid Connie and stepped out of the car.A man stands under a tree. "Have you been waiting long?" Connie asked. "Not long," he replied. They both waited for Hilda to come down, but Hilda closed the car door and sat still. "That's my sister Hilda. Would you like to come and talk to her? Hilda! This is Mr. Mellors." The gamekeeper took off his hat, but did not go forward. "Hilda, please come with us to the cottage," pleaded Connie. "It's not far from here." "But the car?" "Put it in the lane, it's okay, you have the key." Hilda said nothing, she hesitated, and then she looked down the path. "May I back around this bush?" she said. "Oh, yes!" said the hunter. She backed away slowly, went around behind the bushes, locked the car, and walked down. It was already night.But the night was bright, and the desolate village was lined with high wild hedges, which looked very dark, and a fresh fragrance hung in the air.The gamekeeper went first, Connie followed him, and finally Hilda, all in silence, he shone his torch in the hard places, and went on.An owl hooted softly in the oak, and no one could speak; there was nothing to say. Finally, Connie saw the yellow light in the house, and her heart skipped a beat, she was a little scared, and they went on. He opened the locked door and led them into the warm but empty little room.The fire burned low and red hot.There are two glasses on the table, this time, the tablecloth is white.Hilda shook her hair and looked around the empty, melancholy room.Then she looked at the man with courage. He was of medium height and slender, and she thought he was good-looking, and he kept a silent and indifferent attitude, as if he never wanted to speak. "Sit down, Hilda," said Connie. "Please!" said he, "what shall I give you, tea or something else? Or a glass of beer! Beer is cold enough." "Beer!" said Connie. "Yes, please give me a beer, too!" said Hilda with an affected timidity, and he looked at her coldly. He took a blue jug into the kitchen room, and when he returned with the beer, the expression on his face changed again. Connie sat by the door, and Hilda sat in his usual chair with her back to the wall, facing the corner of the window. "That's his chair," said Connie, and Hilda stood up as if the chair had burned her. "Don't get up, don't get up! Sit whatever you want, we don't have a bear here." He said calmly in the vernacular. He gave Hilda a glass and poured her beer first. "I don't have sweet wine here," he said, "but maybe you have some. I don't smoke myself. Would you like something to eat?" He turned to Connie and said, "Would you like Would you like something to eat? You usually don't refuse." He spoke his dialect with a strange ease, as if he were the owner of a country inn. " "What's there to eat?" Connie asked, blushing. "Cooked ham and dry walnuts, as you like. Nothing good." "Yes!" said Connie, "would you like a little, Hilda?" Hilda looked up at him. "Why do you speak the Yorkshire dialect?" she said gently. "That's not Yorkshire, that's Derby," he said, looking at her with a vague sneer. "Derby dialect, come on! Why do you speak Derby dialect? Didn't you speak English as everyone said in the beginning?" "Yes! But if it pleases me; can't I change it? Well, well, let me speak Derby if it suits me. I don't think you'll object!" "That seemed a bit contrived," said Syble. "Ah, maybe! But Davashiha, you are the one who looks like a dwarf." He looked at her with a strange and distant attitude, as if to say: "You, who are you?" He went to the pantry to fetch food. The sisters sat in silence.He came back with another dish and blade, and he said: "If you don't mind, I'll take off my coat as usual." He took off his coat and hung it on the hook, and sat down at the table in a thin, flannel shirt of light yellow. "As you wish!" he said, "as you wish! Don't wait for someone to come and invite you!" He cut the bread and sat still, and Hindha felt the strength of his silence and indifference, as Connie had done earlier.The small, sharp hands she saw were casually placed on the table.Undoubtedly he is not an easy job!No!He is contrived!pretentious! "However," she said grimly, taking a small piece of spare parts, "if you speak plain English to us, it will come more naturally than vernacular." But looking at her, I felt her demonic strong will. "Really?" he said in plain English, yes?But is there anything natural to say between me and you?Unless you tell me that you wish me to go to hell so that your sister will never see me again; and I answer something as embarrassing as that, what else is natural? " "Oh, yes!" said Hilda, "it's only natural to be polite." "That's second nature, so to speak!" he said, laughing. "No, I hate manners, leave me alone!" Hilda clearly had nothing to say.He was full of anger, hmph, he should know that he was dismissed, but he put on the air of an important role, as if he thought he was showing respect to others, how reckless!Poor Connie, lost in the paws of such a man! The three ate in silence, Hilda paying attention to his manner at the table, and she had to admit that he was instinctively more elegant and noble than herself.She had a certain Scotch clumsiness, and he, with all the Englishman's reticent, self-contained Antaeus-the bored Antaeus, was not easily submissive. But she would never yield to him.she says: "Do you really think it's worth the risk?" She softened a little. "What is worth the risk?" "This thing with my sister." With an unhappy wry smile on his face, he said in vernacular: "Then you have to ask her!" Then he looked at Connie. "That's what you want, isn't it, girl? I didn't force you?" Connie looked at Hilda. "I hope you won't find fault, Hilda," she said. "我决不想挑拔什么是非。但是总得有个人去想想是非。在生活中，不得不有点某种永久性。你不能一味胡闹的。" 他们静默了一会。 "咳，永久性！"他说，"那是什么意思？您自己的生命里可有什么永久性？我相信您正在离婚罢，不知道这里头的永久性是什么？这不过是您自己的执锄性的永久性罢，我看很明白，那永久性于您有什么好处？您不久便要厌恶这永久性。一个执锄的女人和她的自我意志！咳，这两种东西合起来便成个好漂亮的永久性，的确！谢谢天，幸得您的事与我无涉！" "你有什么权利对我说这种话？"希尔达说。 "什么权利？你又有什么权利把您的永久性来厌烦他人？不要管他人的永久性罢。" "我的好汉哟，你以为你和我有什么关系么？"希尔达温和地说。 "是的！"他说，"有的，愿他罢，不愿也罢，你多少总是我的阿姨了。" "还差得远呢，我确实告诉你。" "并不如您想象的远，我确实告诉您。我有我自己的永久性，我的永久性决不输您的永久性！假如您的妹妹到我这儿来找点性爱和温情，她自己知道她打的是什么主意。她在我的床上睡过，这是非您的永久性所能有后，谢谢上帝！"他停下一会，然后继续说，"嗳，我不是个呆子，假如一块天鹅肉落在我嘴边我只好多谢天，有这么一个美人儿，一个男子不知能够享受多少的乐趣，不象您一类的女了那么难说，说起来也是可惜的，您本来是可以象一只好苹果的，而你却是个好看不好吃的野苹果，象你这样的女子是需要接种的。 他带了一种鉴赏家的有点肉感的怪笑望着她。 "而象你这样的男子。"她说，"是应该了不起来，这是他们的极鄙与自私欲所应得的惩罚。" "是的，太太！世上还有我这种人已经是幸福了。至于您呢，没有人睬您，这是您所活该的。" 希尔达已经向边走去，他也站了起来，在衣钩上取了他的外衣。 "我一个人很可以找到我的路。"她说。 "我恐怕你不能呢。"他从容地答道。 在静默中，他们重新在那可笑地鱼贯面蚝，那只猫头鹰还在叫着，他恨不得把它杀掉。 汽车还是好好地停在那儿，有点给露水沾湿了。希尔达上了车，把机器开动了，剩下的两个人在等待着。 "总之，我的意思是，"她在汽车里面说，"我诚恐你们两个都要觉得悔不当初！" "一个人的佳肴是另一个人的毒物，他在黑暗里说，"但是在我，这既是佳肴又是美酒。 " 车灯亮了起来。 "康妮，早上别让我等。" "是的，我不会让你等的。晚安！" 汽车慢慢地出到了大路上，然后飞逝了，寂静的夜又笼罩了一切。 康妮羞怯地挽着他的手臂他们向着村舍归去，他一句话也不说，过了一会她使他站住了。 "吻一吻我吧！"她喃喃地说。 "不、等一会吧。等我的气消了。"他说。 这话使她觉得好笑起来，她依旧挽着他的手臂他们静默地，匆匆地回去，她现在和他在一起了。她是怪高兴的，当她想到希尔达差不多把他们拆散了时候，她寒战了一下，他在不可思议地静默的。 当他们回到村舍里去时，她觉得脱离了她的姊姊了。她高兴得差不多跳跃起来。 "但是你使希尔达太难为情了。"她对他说。 "她实在是该吃耳光的。" "为什么呢？她是怪好的人！" 他并不回答，只是沉静地、安泰地忙着晚上的工作，他在外表上是愤怒的，可不是对她愤怒，康妮觉得出来。在愤怒中的他，有一种深刻、光泽的、特殊的美，使她心醉，使她的四脚酥软。 他老是不注意她。 最后，他坐下去解鞋带。然后他仰望着她，那眉端依旧蕴藏！着怒气。 "你要上楼去么？"他说，"那边有一枝蜡烛！" 他迅疾地把多倾了一倾，指示着桌上点着的蜡烛。她驯服地把蜡烛拿在手里，当她上楼的时候，他注视着她的饱满的臀部的曲线。 那是个惊人的情欲之夜。在这夜里，她有点吃惊而且差不多觉得无可奈何起来，然而在那最恰人意的关头，一种比温情战栗更不同、更尖锐、更可怖的刺人的战栗，把她钻穿了。虽然是有点怕，她却毫不推却地让他瓷情任性，一种无因而不羞怯的肉感，摇撼着她，摇撼到她的骨髓，把她脱到一丝不挂，使她成了一个新的妇人。实在那并不是爱。那并不是淫欲。那是一种火似的烧人的尖锐的内感，把灵魂烧成火绒一样。 这种火似的肉感，在那最秘密的地方，把最古老而最深刻的羞耻心焚毁了。结果是使康妮地卖力让她的爱人您情任性的享受她。她是个无抵抗的、逢迎迁就的东西。好象一个奴录，一个肉体的奴录，情欲的毁灭的火，却舐着她的周身，当这欲焰紧束地经过她的心怀与脏腑的时候，她真是觉得她是互着了。可是好一个痛快而神奇的死哟！ 她曾常常地奇怪过，亚培拉所谓他与海萝伊斯相爱之时，所有情欲的微妙花样都尝过了，是什么意思，原来同样的东西，在千年以前，甚至在万年以前就有过了，同样的东西在希腊的土瓶上，随处都有！情欲的种种微妙、肉感的种种放肆，那是必需，绝对地必需的。用纯粹的肉感的火，去把虚焦的羞耻心焚毁了，把人体的沉浊的杂质溶解了，使它成为纯洁。 在这一个短短的夏夜里，她不知懂得了多少的事情！在这夜以前，她差不多相信了一个妇人是会因羞耻而死的；然而现在，死的却是羞耻，羞耻不过是恐惧罢了，在我们的肉体的根蒂里深伏着那种官能的羞耻，那种古老的，古老的肉体的恐惧，只有肉感的火才能把它赶走。最后，它是给男子的"地乐士"的追击所惊醒而溃散，于是她便来到她的生命的莽原之中心了。 现在，她觉得已经来到了她的天性的真正的原如处所，并且觉得她原本就是无羞惧的了。她是她的原来的、有肉感的自我，赤裸裸的、毫无羞惧的自我。她觉得胜利，差不多光荣起来！I see!生命原来是如此的！一个人的本来面目原来是如此的！世上是没有需要掩茂怕东西，没有需要害羞的东西的！她和一个男子一另一个人，共享着她的终极的赤裸。 而且是个多么肆无忌惮的恶魔似的男子！真象个恶魔！一个不坚强的人是承受不了他的。但是要达到那肉体的莽原一中心，要达到那官能的羞惧心的最后最深的伏处，是不容易的。只有"法乐士"有这窥探的本领。what!他把她压得多么紧！ what!在惊怖中，她曾多么恨它，但是实际上，她多么需要它！现在她明白了，在她的灵魂的根基处，深深地，她是需要而且秘密地希望这"梅乐士"的追击的，不过她相信她不会得到罢了。现在，突然地，它来到了，一个男子在共享着她最终最后的赤裸，她一点儿羞惧都没有了。 诗人和世人真是一些骗子！他们使你相信你需要感，其实你所最需要的是这尖锐的、消蚀的、有点可怖的肉感。找个无羞惧、无罪过、无心疚的大胆从事的男子！假如他事后觉得羞惧，而且令人觉得羞惧，那就令人寒心了！多么可惜，多数的男人都这么怯懦，害羞，如克利福！甚至如蔑克里斯！这两个／、在肉感上都是有点儿象狗，有点儿奴颜卑膝的。所谓"精神的无上快乐！"这对于一个女人有什么价值？而且事实上，对于一个男子又有什么价值！那不过把精神弄得一塌糊湖糊涂而卑鄙罢了，甚至想把精神纯洁化、灵敏化起来，也得要这唯一的肉感才能成功，唯一的火假的肉感，而不是混沌一团的幻想。 what!上帝啊，一个真正的男子是多可珍贵的东西！男人们大都是些只知东跑西窜，只知东闻西嗅，只知苟且交尾的狗。找到了一个无畏宿、无羞惧的男子！多可珍贵！她望着他在酣睡着，好象一个睡着的野兽似的，深深地迷失在睡官中。她鸟儿似地栖依在他的身边，诚恐脱离了他。 他醒来的时候，她的睡意也全失了。他坐了起来，俯望着她，好从他的眼里，看出了她自己的赤裸，直接的她的自我。那男性对她的认识，好象流液似地从他的眼眼里传到了她身上，把她春怠融融地包了起来，啊，这半睡的、饱和着热烈情欲的、沉重的肢体，是多么撩人肉欲，多么可爱！ "是起身的时候了么？"她说。 "六点半了。" 八点钟她便得到咱的尽头去，老是，老是，老是这不容人的世事！ "我可以去弄早餐，弄好了带上这儿来，好吗？" "啊，好的！" 佛萝茜在楼下轻轻的呜咽着。她起身把睡衣除了，用一条毛巾擦着他的身体，当一个人充满着勇气与生命的时候，是多么美丽！她一边静默地望着他，一边心里这么想着。 "把窗帘拉开，好不好？" 太阳已经在早晨的嫩绿的树叶上照耀着了。近边的树林，显得蔚蓝而新鲜的颜色。她坐在床上，梦一般地望着楼窗外面，她的赤裸裸的两臂把她赤裸的两只乳房挤得凑合拢来。他在穿着衣服。她在梦幻着生活，与他共同的生活：这才叫生活！ 他正在走开，避开她的危险的媚人的赤裸。 "难道我把睡衣都失去了么？"她说。 他伸手在床下边摇出一条薄薄的绸衣。 "在夜里我就觉得脚踝上有着什么绸的东西。"他说。 但是那睡衣已经差不多裂成两片了。 "不要紧！"她说，"它是属于这间房子的；我把它留在这儿罢。" "是的，留在这儿罢，夜里我可以把它放在两腿间陪伴我。上面没有什么字或标记么？" 她穿上了那撕破的睡衣，梦一般地望着窗外。窗门开着，清晨的空气和乌声透专进来，乌儿不住地飞过，然后她看见佛萝茜徘徊着走出门外，这是早晨了。 她听见他在楼下生火，舞水，从后门出去，她渐渐地闻着了煎肉的气味。最后，他端了一个大得刚能通过门框的黑色大托盘，走上楼来，他把找盘放在床上，斟着茶，康妮穿着那撕破了的睡衣，蹲伏着狼吞虎咽起来。他从城那唯一椅子上，他的碟子放在膝上。 "多么好！"她说，"在一起吃早餐是多么美妙！" 他静默地吃着，心里想着那在飞逝的时光，那使她想起来了。 "啊，我真希望我可以留在这儿和你一块，并且勒格贝在一百万里以外！但是事实上我正脱离着勒格贝呢，你知道吧，是不是？" "是的！""你答应我们将住在一起，将在一起生活，你和我！你答应吧，是不是？" "是的，当我们能够的时候。" "是啊！这不会久了，不会久了，是不是？"她向他斜依着，握着他的手腕，她把茶杯里的茶倾溢了出来。 "是的！"他一边说，一边整理着溢在托盘的茶。 "此后，我们再也不能在一起生活了，是不是？"她恳求地说。他苦笑了一笑，仰望着她。 "不！不过在二十五分钟内你便得走了。" "只有二十五分钟了么？"她叫道。突然地，他举着手指，叫她不要出声，他站了起来，佛萝茜猛然吠了一声，跟着又高声地吠着几声，仿佛告警似的。 默默地，他把碟子放在托盘上，走下楼来，康妮听见他向园里的小径出去，一个脚踏车铃声在那外边响着。 "早安，梅乐士先生！一封挂号信！" "啊，喂！你有铅笔么？" "有的！" 停顿了一会。 "加拿大！"那生人的声音说。 "是的！这是我从前一位朋友，他在在英属哥化比亚。不知道什么事用得着挂号信。" "也许他寄你一笔大钱呢。" "或者是来要点什么东西吧，这倒更象。" 静了一会。 "喂！又是个睛朗的日子！" "yes!" "早安" "早安！" 过了一会，他回到楼上，脸上带点怒容。 "邮差。"他说。 "他来得好早啊！"她答道。 "这是乡间的邮递；他来的时候，多数总是七点左右来的。" "是不是你的朋友寄给你一笔大钱？" "不，只是几张关于那边的一个产业的像片和文件罢了。" "你想到那边去么？" "我想或者我们是可以去的。" "啊，是的！我相信那是个可有可爱的地方！" 但是，这邮差的来到，使他扫兴了。 "这些该死的脚踏车，不等到你留神它们便来到了。我希望他没有听见什么。" "要是他听见什么呢！" "现在你得起来，作好准备。我到外面看看就来。" 她看见他带着他的狗儿和枪，到那小镇上巡察，她下楼去梳洗，等到他回来时，她已经准备好了，把几件零的东西也收拾在她的小绸裹里。 他把门上了锁，他们向着林中下去，却不走那条小径。他小心着。 "你认为人一生中可以有几个好时期过着象昨夜那种生活么？"她对他说。 "是的！不过也得想想其余的时期呢。"他有点简短地答道。 他们在林中草径上缓缓地；他默默地走到前面。 "我们不久便将在一起共同生活，是不是？"她恳求道。 "是的！"他答一道，头也不回，只顾前进。"当时机到了的时候！但是此刻你正要到威尼斯或什么地方去。" 她无言地跟着他，心里抑郁着。啊，多么难舍难离！ 最后他站住了。 "我要打这边过去了。"他指着右边说。 但是她举着两臂环抱着他的颈项，紧紧地依着他。 "但是你对我的温情不会变吧，会不会？"她细声说，"我爱昨夜！但是你对我的温情不会变，会不会？" 他吻了吻她，把她紧紧地拥抱了一会。然后他又叹息着，重新了吻了吻她。 "我得看汽车来了没有。" 他踏过了那低低的荆刺和羊齿草丛，经过处留晒了一条痕迹。他去了几分钟，回来说： "汽车还没有来．但是大路上停着一部送面包的货车。" 他显得焦虑不安的样子。 "听！" 他们听见一部汽车轻轻地驶近了，这汽车在桥上慢了下来，她无限悲伤地踏进了荆刺丛中，沿着他留下的脚痕走去，到了一排庞大的冬青树篱笆面前，他正在她的后面。 "那边！打那边过去！"他指着一个空隙说，"我不过去了。" 她失望地望着他，但是他吻了吻她，叫她出去，她满腔悲伤地爬过了冬青树丛和木栅，颠踬地走下小壕堑，颠踬地走上那小坡上去，希尔达不见康妮，正在那儿恼怒着走下车来。 "啊！你来了！"希尔达说，"他在哪儿呢？" "他不来了。" 当康妮拿着她的小手囊上车去的时候，她的脸上流着眼泪，希尔达把风帽和眼镜交给她。 "戴上罢"她说。 康妮把掩饰的东西戴上了。然后再穿了一件乘汽车用的外套，变成了一个不能的不象人的东西了。希尔达匆匆地把汽车开动了。她们出了小路，向着大路驶去，康妮回转头去望了望，但是没有目的地见他的影迹。she left!gone!她苦楚地流着眼泪，这离别来得这样骤然，这样意外！好象是死别似的； "谢谢天，你要离开这人一些时日了！"希尔达一边说；一边把车子转着方，免得打克罗斯山的山村落经过。