Chapter 2 i love bill.2

Then, Bill asked Ah San to sit between his knees, facing each other.The naked Ah San looked like an underdeveloped little girl, her arms and legs were so slender that they would break if they were folded.The neck is also thin, and the skin is as thin as a sheet of paper.But Bill knew that there was great enthusiasm in the core of this little paper man, and this was what made Bill unable to let go.Bill touched Ah San's hair, which was thin, soft, and smooth like silk, and murmured: How different you are!This is like a human body made of another material. It is a miracle that such a light and weak material does not lose energy at all.Looking at Bill, Ah San remembered a movie in Albania called "The Eighth Is a Bronze Statue" when she was a child.Bill is the "bronze statue".Albanian movies were the only Western movies in that era, so Ah San was very impressed.She touched Bill, who was really steel and iron.But she also knew that there was a soft warmth in the core of the bronze statue, which could be seen from his eyes.The two of them looked at each other, and they both felt that they were not human beings, that they were far away from reality, and that they were imaginary things.

Once, Bill said to Ah San: Although your appearance is a complete Chinese girl, your spirit is closer to us Westerners.This is the answer he found for Ah San's mystery.Ah San listened, smiled, and said: I don't know what kind of spirit is Western.Bill was a little speechless, thought for a while, and said: Chinese people value "Tao", while Westerners put "people" first.Ah San told him about the play "Autumn River", how the little nun lost her mind and went down the mountain to join the folk.Bill listened fascinatedly, and then exclaimed: This story looks like it happened in the West.Ah San snorted: All good things are in the west!Bill confused her again, not knowing where it all started.But Bill still felt that there was some misunderstanding between him and Ah San, but he couldn't find the crux.Ah San, however, knew better than Bill that this was actually a contradiction that bothered her, that is, she didn't want Bill to see her as a Chinese girl, but she attracted Bill because she was a Chinese girl.Due to this contradiction, her behavior will fluctuate.What's more, it makes her try to find the point where China and the West meet, so as to reconcile her contradictory situation.

Now, she is particularly keen on martial arts scenes in Peking Opera.She said to Bill: If the line of action of the characters in "Sanchakou" can be visualized and fixed, what kind of picture will it be?She painted the action lines of "Sanchakou" that she recorded on a long piece of white silk with Chinese paint, and gave it to Bill as a gift on his birthday.Bill liked it very much, and tied it in the collar of the down jacket as a scarf.Then, the two went to eat a buffet in a newly opened big hotel. It happened to be Thanksgiving, and there were a lot of people, most of whom were Americans. Several of Bill's colleagues were also there, waving across the table.Ah San wore exaggerated heavy makeup today. Underneath the denim jacket was a men's rough sweater that reached to the knees. Underneath were wool pantyhose and cotton boots.The hair is tied on the top of the head, tied in a knot, and the broken hair hangs down.It looks like an oriental warrior.attracted people's attention.The young lady came over to light a candle and gave her a sharp look that could almost peel her skin.The ladies in these places have sharp eyes.Ah San couldn't help smiling exaggeratedly, and she also used more English than usual.When Bier went to taste food together, she chatted with Bill all the way, stopping to taste, lingering for a long time.Finally she picked a small piece of cake, put a candle in it, asked Bill to blow it out, and said, Happy Birthday!Bill felt dizzy, stared at Ah San and said: You are amazing.Ah San noticed that Bill didn't say "You are so beautiful".

After leaving the hotel, the two embraced and walked on the road at night.Ah San got into Bill's down jacket, like a kangaroo's daughter.The sound of laughter was carried far away on the road with few people and cars.Both of them have the feeling of wanting to be immortal.Bill feigned surprise and said: What kind of place is this?Manhattan, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, the Vatican?When Ah San heard this nonsense, she was so happy that she really forgot where she was, so she made up some legendary place names along with the nonsense.Bill suddenly pushed Ah San out of his arms, took two steps back, assumed a fencing posture, and said, "I'm Zorro!"Ah San reacted immediately, putting her hands on her hips: I'm Carmen!The two took turns doing fencing and bullfighting, advancing and retreating on the road.The street lamps illuminated them, casting their shadows on the ground in strange shapes.When someone walked by, they stared at them, and when they passed by, they looked back.They don't care, they only care about their own pleasure.After making a fuss for a while, Ah Sanzhong got into Bill's down jacket again.At this time, both of them became quiet and walked quietly, sometimes looking up at the sky.The dark blue sky was blocked by branches, and the air was sweet.

Bill talked about childhood memories.His father was a senior diplomat who traveled to Africa, South America and Asia.His childhood was spent in these places.Ah San asked: What is your favorite place?Bill said: I like them all because they are all different and special.Ah San couldn't help thinking of him saying something special about herself, and felt sore in her heart, so she had to force him to answer which one he liked the most.Bill seemed to know Ah San's thoughts, hugged her tightly, and said: You are the most special.At this time, Ah San asked an unprecedented question: Bill, do you like me?Bill replied: I like it very much.Because he accepted it so readily, Ah San was a little dissatisfied, feeling that something that had been prepared for a long time had passed so easily.She thought: Next time, she will ask the word "love".Bill should be serious about "love"!However, she also hesitated and asked if "love" was appropriate.Does the relationship between them have anything to do with "love"?Ah San didn't know what Bill was thinking, nor did she know what she was thinking.

Ah San rented a house in Huajing Village, so she had fewer dates with Bill than in the past.One is that the road is far away, and the other is that a foreigner appears among the farmers, and he is somewhat concerned.Every time I go, I have to make a big decision.Sometimes I even want to sneak in Bill dressed up, so I can avoid those disturbing stares.After finally entering the house, they would stay for a long time, sometimes one afternoon and one night.Ah San is painting hand-painted silk scarves for a silk factory, each one is different, and one painting costs ten yuan.As a result, the four walls are covered with silk scarves that record the movement lines of Peking Opera martial arts.These flowing lines haunt them, as if they are in a whirlpool.There are also times when the silk scarves have not been drawn with lines, and the white ones are hung all over the wall, and the front and back of the house are full of blooming chrysanthemums.Their mattress is like a psychic at a great funeral.Ah San lay in Bill's arms, really thinking in her heart: even death is happy.As it got dark, Bill's face gradually blurred, but his outline became more distinct, like a Greek god.Ah San kissed Bill passionately. On his giant body, her kiss was particularly delicate and weak, making her doubt whether she could get Bill's love.

Bill said: You are my thumb.Ah San's heart skipped a beat, thinking: Why don't you say it's his ribs?Immediately afterwards, she felt ashamed of having such a thought, and returned Bill's caress with redoubled forgetfulness, as if she wanted to repent.In this way, she will be even more unable to ask if she loves me or not.But she can go deeper into the topic of "like".She asked Bill what he liked about her.Bill thought carefully for a moment, then said: Humility.When Ah San heard this, the smile on her face stopped unconsciously.Bill also said: Humility is a noble virtue.Ah San said in her heart: That's not the virtue I like, but she said: Thank you, Bill.There was irony in the words, but the straightforward Bill didn't catch it.

After Bill left, Ah San stayed in the house by herself, without putting on any clothes, just naked, painting the silk scarf, and earning rent for this seldom-used room.Thinking of the virtue Bill had bestowed on her: humility, brought tears to her eyes.She choked up, her hands trembled, and she sprinkled the paint on her body, here and there.She was angry, but she didn't know who to vent it to.To Bill?Bill just liked her humility, how could he vent his anger on him?Then to yourself!Seeing her, she turned into a cat, a sad cat. During these days, Ah San missed a lot of classes.She didn't have enough time, painting silk scarves to earn money, and being with Bill, both of which were exhausting, she had to get enough sleep.Now, her days are mostly spent sleeping.She curled up alone on the big mattress, with the voices of neighbors talking in her ears, and the light and shadow lingering on her face, so half asleep and half awake, until the sky gradually darkened, and it was time for her to wake up.Her lower eyelids were blue-purple, and there were veins crawling up the base of her nose.If she was going to meet Bill, she would spend a long time putting on makeup.Her makeup became heavier and heavier, and her small face was full of beauties and greens.Especially the lips, she painted them bigger and bigger, and painted them into that kind of sexy thick lips, using pure red, which is so vivid.Ah San's eyes were a little short-sighted, and the lighting in the room was not bright enough, so the makeup was actually more intense than what Ah San thought.It looked like she was wearing a mask.Her clothing is also exaggerated, a batik wide-shouldered suit over a white bodysuit.Or a jacket with a slanted collar and a high collar, a long skirt that drags the floor underneath, and clumsy square-heeled leather shoes at the bottom.

When the school talked to Ah San and reminded her that she still had one year to graduate and had to attend classes seriously, Ah San did not discuss with anyone the next day and issued a report of withdrawal.From then on, she was no longer seen in the school.Until one night before the summer vacation, she quietly returned to the dormitory and took away her remaining things.When I went there, a girl from the same dormitory was there. At first sight, I didn't recognize her, but when I recognized her, I was surprised.Seeing that she was about to leave after packing up, he asked her if she knew.Ah San asked what she knew. She said that the school had already expelled her.Ah San smiled and said: Whatever you want, your expression will eventually be a little gloomy.The classmate wanted to send her off, but she didn't refuse.The two were walking in the deserted campus, and the street lights illuminated the two figures. These classmates were not the closest to each other, but at this moment, they both seemed a little sad to each other, and they walked for a while in silence.The scenery that has been with me day and night for nearly three years is hidden in the shadows, a scene that is about to emerge.Then Ah San said: Go back.After walking for a while, looking back, the classmate was still standing there, so he waved again.

Ah San didn't tell Bill that she was expelled from school, with a bit of self-torture pleasure.Her family members living in neighboring counties have no way of knowing.For a while, she hibernates in Huajing Village, painting silk scarves or sleeping.Even Bill thought she had left the city.During this period of about two months, Huajing Village set up a flower shed again and spread out white chrysanthemums.The fragrance of flowers filled the whole village, and fragments of petals flew in the air.Ah San sat alone in the house, the world was far away from her, and Bill was also far away from her.She drew a batch of plain silk scarves, almost all of which looked like ink paintings, only in black and white, and hung them on the walls.The room is like a Zen room.Apart from eating some bread and drinking some water, it was like sitting in meditation.When she walked out of Huajing Village again, she was pale and thin like a ghost.He is wearing a plain white silk jumpsuit again, with a white silk scarf tied around the waist.The makeup is also as white as possible, and the eye shadow and eye circles are all smoked gray.Lips are red, nails are stained red.The shoes she wears are of the color mosaic type, the upper is white, but the tip of the shoe is red, like a red toenail.That's it, come to Bill.

Bill was amazed by Ah San's change.Somewhere, it became shocking.He stroked her skin, and he didn't know what was burning his palm.He doesn't understand anything.This little woman who was on skin-to-skin contact with him was actually thousands of miles away from him.But he sensed a danger that lay behind the mystery of the East.Still, Bill's lust was burning, and something other than physical was drawing him sexually.This is like a tragic thing, as if something is facing a desperate situation, which makes the sexual impulse have a shocking power.This time, it was in Ah San's friend's room.This friend is a divorced woman, and she gave the key to Ah San very understandingly.Surrounded by other people's things, there are pictures of smiling women who don't know, and the smell of shower gel and cosmetics of women they don't know, forming a trap-like meaning.Ah San was extremely skinny, Bill had never experienced such a skinny girl.The chest is almost flat, showing washboard ribs, and the hips are flat.His desire is not carnal, but a spiritual quality.The clothes that Ah San took off were a pile of snow-white, and the lipstick was messed up by Bill's kisses. It was all over her body, like wounds oozing blood.The dangerous atmosphere intensified. Far away, in the open space among the buildings, there was the sound of creaking swings. Bill gradually calmed down, looked at Ah San beside him, and then gradually recognized her, and said: "A San, what are you doing all these days?"Ah San said: I was thinking about one thing.Bill asked: What's the matter?Ah San said: That is, I love Bill.After finishing speaking, he turned his face away and turned his back to Bill.A lot of time passed, the room was a little dark, neither of them moved, and they remained in their original postures.Finally, Bill spoke, and he said: As a diplomat in our country, we are not allowed to fall in love with girls from communist countries.A lot of time passed, and the sound of the swing became silent.Bill was almost falling asleep, and some dreams passed through his mind, and he seemed to be back in his hometown in the middle of the United States, with its endless cornfields, where he finished high school.Suddenly startled, he found that it was already dark, and Ah San was rustling in his clothes.Her face was washed and her hair recombed.He said: I'm sorry, Ah San.Ah San looked back and smiled: Bill, why are you sorry?So, Bill felt that his essay was wrong. Did something happen just now? Nothing seemed to have happened, and the relationship between Bill and Ah San continued.Bill introduced two tutors to Ah San, one was to teach Chinese and the other was to teach Chinese painting. They taught the children of senior employees of the American business company, and the remuneration was very generous.Because she wanted to be fair, Ah San was very serious, but helplessly, the children didn't care, and even the parents let Ah San "relax".Especially the boy who is learning traditional Chinese painting, with a small freckled hand grasping the brush, dipped in the ink, and with one stroke, a large piece of rice paper is blurred, and the father standing beside him admires him very much. Said: very good!So, Ah San was also happy and relaxed.Both of them live in the Qiaohui Apartment behind the bustling Huaihai Road. There are still hustle and bustle outside, but when you enter the door, you will find another world.The smells are all different, mixed with cheese, coffee, vegetable oil, and international-scented detergents, and the wool carpet has a slightly fishy smell.With these two salaries, Ah San has a lot more financially.She began to look for a house in the city. Later, she found a house in an old apartment building.It is one of the suites. The owner went to the United States to visit relatives. He didn’t know when he would come back. He was looking for someone to look at the house.In addition, a woman who looked like a nanny lived in most of the apartments, and she also showed the house to the owner. Every afternoon, a group of idlers were invited to play mahjong until late at night.Because they each have their own taboos, they have nothing to do with Ah San, and they don't speak when they meet.The houses in Huajing Village were returned. Now it was much more convenient for Bill to come.This place is busier than Huajing Village, and Bill often comes during the daytime, when the city downstairs is buzzing with people and cars.The curtains are old velveteen, and the velvet has fallen out in several places, and countless fluffs will fly up when you shake it.The floor creaked when stepped on, and there was a smell of cockroach droppings.This gave things an old feeling, as if years and months had settled down, and my heart was tired.Ah San made a fuss about this old book.She bought a lot of scraps of silk and satin, and made more than a dozen large and small pillows, all of which were old-fashioned with pleats, on the bed, on the sofa, and on the armchair.She bought herself a men's satin dressing gown and wrapped it around her body, and Bill put his hand into the dressing gown and said: I can't find you.They made love in silky satin, as if time went back a hundred years.Her student's parents gave her a coffee pot, and she brewed small ground coffee in the room, filled with a bitter aroma.The owner's house has an old-fashioned record player, which has been broken for many years and was thrown under the bed. Ah San found it and asked someone to repair it. It can barely listen to it, playing old tunes.Americans are the most vulnerable to the temptation of history, and the sentiment of half a century ago is enough to fascinate them.