Chapter 20 Chapter 08 It's Dawn, Embracing the Sun
When Fang Mengbai walked out of the train station, it was raining lightly on the Baihe River.She recognized Bai Changshan standing in the rain with a yellow cloth umbrella at a glance.The last time we saw each other was eleven years ago, when she was a nine-year-old child.In her impression, Uncle Bai was very handsome and tall.But now, his body seems to be a bit shorter, his back is slightly hunched, his figure is thinner, his hair is already gray, and he looks very old.
Bai Changshan also recognized her at the first time, quickly took a step forward, and put the umbrella on top of her head.At that moment, Fang Mengbai was extremely excited, and suddenly had a feeling of seeing his father.She really wanted to throw herself into his arms and cry heartily.
He said: "You're a grown girl now. You look exactly like your mother."
Fang Mengbai said: "If only I were as tall as you."
Side by side, Fang Mengbai and Bai Changshan walked towards the station in the cold rain with an umbrella together.Bai Changshan said, I just received your telegram, and I couldn't believe it was true. I was so excited that I didn't sleep well for two nights.Fang Mengbai said, you haven't slept well for two nights, and I haven't slept well for several nights.Bai Changshan felt that there was something in her words, so he asked, did something happen?She said that something happened, a happy event.Hearing that it was a happy event, a stone fell to the ground in Bai Changshan's heart, and he guessed what it was.Marriage was out of the question, she was only twenty years old, not yet of marriageable age.Recruitment?I'm afraid it won't be her turn.Serve as a soldier?far worse.She said, let me tell you, I am admitted to university.
After hearing this, Bai Changshan suddenly stopped.Fang Mengbai looked at him and asked, Uncle Bai, what's wrong with you?He said, I'm so happy.Maybe it's because I'm old, my whole body becomes weak when I'm happy, and I can't lift my legs.Fang Mengbai took his arm and said to him, Uncle Bai, when I graduate from university, I will be a national cadre. From now on, I will honor you well, just like you are my father.
Bai Changshan burst into tears, sighed a long time, and said, "Unfortunately, your mother didn't get to see this day."If she lived to this day, I don't know how happy she would be.
Fang Mengbai was at a loss for words for a while.My mother repeatedly told him not to tell him that she was still alive. She was worried that she would lose her words, so she didn't dare to take up this topic, so she could only talk about him, saying, Uncle Bai, Sister Mu Zhi and Sister Mu Jin, and Sister Mu Jin. Did Brother Han take the college entrance examination?Bai Changshan sighed and said, how could they be as smart as you?Mu Zhi didn't even have the courage to sign up, but Mu Jin and Mu Han passed the exam, and they didn't even have the special line.Fang Mengbai said, it doesn't matter, tell them to study hard and take the exam next year.
The house she lived in eleven years ago was even more dilapidated, but it was much cleaner and tidy than when she first saw it.In order to welcome her arrival, Bai Changshan cleaned the inside and outside of the house, and changed new sheets and added new utensils.Entering the room, she sat down on the bed, and Bai Changshan sat on the stool in front of her, staring straight at her, making her feel embarrassed, and said, Uncle Bai, have I changed?Bai Changshan was obviously distracted. Hearing what she said, his body trembled a bit. He came back to his senses and said, yes, yes, it has changed. Last time I saw you, you were still a child.Unexpectedly, in a blink of an eye, they all went to college.Tell uncle, how did you come here all these years?
Fang Mengbai was nervous for a while.He asked about it almost every time in his letters, but she never answered it, because she couldn't answer it at all.Now in front of him, I can no longer avoid this topic.But her mother wouldn't let her tell the truth, so she had to make it up now.She said, I came alone.Bai Changshan said, did you live alone?Where's your stepfather?He doesn't care about you?Fang Mengbai's mouth twitched, and a voice came out of his nose, saying, he?If it wasn't for him, my mother wouldn't be so miserable.He brought a group of people to a meeting at my house to discuss the matter of rebellion, and forged documents from the Central Cultural Revolution Group. He was arrested and sentenced.Bai Changshan was stunned for a moment, tears streaming down his face.He said, so you have been alone all these years?She hummed.He said, but the money I sent you is useless to you. Where do you get the money to live on?
Here comes the hardest question.Fang Mengbai thought that he had helped Uncle Lu's mother set up a tea stand, so he said, I set up a tea stand every day after school, and I paid a penny for a cup.Bai Changshan said, how much money can you earn from selling tea?How can you live?Fang Mengbai thought, it's over, the loophole came out, Grandma Lu set up a tea stall all day long, and only earned three or two cents a day, she said she set up a stall after school, how could she be able to live on her own with that little income?She had to continue to compile, saying, sometimes, I also go to pick up some scraps and sell them.Bai Changshan said, can you eat meat once a month?She said that my mother's colleagues sometimes give me something.He said, child, you are living so hard, why don't you use the money?You made uncle feel bad.She smiled and said, am I not fine now?
Bai Changshan asked for leave and took Fang Mengbai to Shaping Island Park for fun.Shaping Island is a delta on the Songhua River. It has a great reputation in the local area and has already become a good place for Baihe people to spend summer.In fact, most of the island is wasteland, and there are very few buildings. Even if it is a park, there are not many scenic spots.Fang Mengbai was only thinking about his mother and his own enrollment, so he was not too interested.However, Bai Changshan was very interested, and kept telling her, last time you came, your mother refused to come out, and didn't take her to Shaping Island to have a look, and she regretted it when she thought about it.Fang Mengbai said that, in fact, it was impossible for her to go out at that time.Bai Changshan asked why, and she said that not long ago, she was criticized by the Red Guards and had her yin and yang head shaved, so she refused to take off her hat and dared not go outside, fearing that the Red Guards would take her hat off.
Hearing this, Bai Changshan was stunned for a long time.Fang Mengbai was worried that he would continue to ask questions on this topic, pointing to the river not far away and saying, that is the Songhua River, right?Bai Changshan said, yes, so Baihe and Ningchang have the same alias, Jiangcheng.Fang Mengbai didn't want him to return to that topic, and tried to let him say something else.She said, I heard from my mother, have you ever been to Ningchang?when was thatHe said that he participated in the battle of the Fourth Field Army to liberate Ningchang.It was originally thought that Bai Chongxi would fight a big battle in Ningchang, and Si Ye had made full preparations.As a result, several small battles were fought on the outskirts of Ningchang, and Bai Chongxi led the army and ran south.Bai Changshan had not been stationed in Ningchang for a long time. During that time, he spent most of his time sitting in the car, driving the car, and running around carrying weapons and ammunition.
Although Fang Mengbai kept avoiding this question, at night, Bai Changshan still put this question in front of her.Returning to the city from the Songhua River, having dinner at the restaurant, the two returned to her residence together.Bai Changshan sat in front of her, smoked two cigarettes extremely quickly, and then asked her directly, Meng Bai, tell me, how did your mother die?Fang Mengbai's heart tightened suddenly, this moment finally came.
She said, "I was tortured to death by the rebels."
He said: "I know. I want you to tell me the details. I want to know everything you know. Tell me every detail, will you?"
With no way out, she had to make things up.She said that in 1967, there was a lot of fighting there and many people were killed.Later, when a revolutionary committee was formed, one of Peng Lingye's former subordinates reported Peng Lingye's forged letter from the Central Cultural Revolution Group in order to protect himself.This incident was designated as a counter-revolutionary case, and my mother was also arrested.A few days later, two rebels came and asked me, are you Fang Zijin's daughter?I said yes.They said, your mother asked us to take you to her.I said, where is my mother?They said, wait a minute and you can meet, come with us.
The following narrations were all made up by her on the spot.She couldn't tell the details about seeing the dead body, so she could only tell about seeing a dead man on the street that summer.That person was a woman, who died unknown how, her body was abandoned on the street, with a broken straw mat wrapped around her body.Many people gathered around to watch, but no one collected the body.In the afternoon, somehow, the broken straw mat was completely lifted, and the corpse was completely naked.The body is full of scars, and it is difficult to find complete good skin.Some people said that she was a capitalist roader who was beaten to death by the rebels.There were also objections, saying that she looked only in her teens, how could she be a capitalist roader?Fang Mengbai forgot that he had said in his letter that he saw his mother's body in the place where her mother was being held.That letter was written by her mother, but she didn't pay much attention to what was written in it.After making up this story, she realized that if Bai Changshan asked carefully, things would definitely go wrong.
Bai Changshan didn't consider the authenticity of what she said at all.In that era, there were too many absurd things, and there were a thousand times more absurd things. Therefore, he may have no doubts about it.Thinking of Fang Zijin's dead body on the street when he died, he felt sad.When Fang Mengbai was talking, he felt that Bai Changshan's expression was different, so he looked at him.He was sitting on a stool with his head tilted slightly upward and his mouth open.Judging from the situation, it was like wanting to sneeze a lot, but couldn't for a long time.Fang Mengbai's whole body tensed up, as if trying to help him.After dozens of seconds, there was a sudden earth-shattering trombone sound.Not a sneeze, but a cry.Bai Changshan couldn't help but burst into tears.He was originally sitting on a stool, but after crying a few times, his body softened, and he slipped off the stool and sat on the ground.He grabbed the collar with both hands, cried and said, sister, I am sorry for you, I am the one who hurt you.
Fang Mengbai's heart was tightly gripped by his crying.From his cries, she felt that his love for his mother had penetrated deep into her bones, and even after so many years, this love had not disappeared at all.He is an upright man, a man who has experienced blood and fire, such a man will not shed tears easily.But he is shedding now, it is only because the tears have been suppressed in his heart for too long.She couldn't help crying.Her crying has nothing to do with whether her mother is dead, but just about their relationship.
Bai Changshan cried more and more sadly, and finally began to convulse all over his body.Fang Mengbai was terrified when he saw this, and thought to himself, wouldn't he die from being too sad?She was afraid, hesitated again and again, and finally decided to tell him the truth.She really couldn't bear to see him so distraught, she went up to him crying, helped him up, and said, Uncle Bai, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you the truth, in fact, what I just said was all made up by me, I Mom is not dead.Bai Changshan was still crying and didn't hear her words clearly.So she said loudly, uncle, don't cry, my mother is still alive.
This time he heard it clearly, stopped crying suddenly, stared at her for a few seconds, and asked her, "What did you just say?"
She said: "I lied to you, my mother is still alive, not dead."
Excitement flashed in Bai Changshan's eyes.But just for a moment, the light dimmed again.He said: "Good girl. I know, you are afraid that I will be too sad, so you told me like this." With her support, he sat on the bed, tried to suppress his emotions and said to her: "My child, uncle, in this life , All my energy is put into the relationship with your mother. This relationship has emptied my uncle. Now that my uncle is old, he can't stand the blow anymore. "
Fang Mengbai said with tears: "Uncle Bai, I didn't lie to you. Think about it carefully, the first letter I wrote to you said that my mother died in Xia Tian, but I forgot about that just now and said Died in the autumn of that year. And..."
Bai Changshan said, "So, is it true?"
Fang Mengbai said, "It's true."
She thought he had something to ask herself, but he didn't, just sat there, motionless.Sitting in front of him, she felt his love and was deeply moved.She said, in fact, mother has not forgotten you all these years.Every time you write a letter to me, my mother will go there and keep it carefully.The Red Guard rebels ransacked the house several times, but they did not copy the letters.Bai Changshan let out a cry.Fang Mengbai continued, "Many times, I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my mother calling your name in my sleep.Bai Changshan's tears flowed out again, the tears overflowed his eyes, and flowed down smoothly along his wrinkled face.He reached out and wiped his face.She said, I took the college entrance examination this time, and my mother kept asking me, did you tell Uncle Bai?I said, the horoscope has not been written yet, what if I fail the exam?After I got the notice, she said, quickly send a telegram to your uncle Bai and tell him the good news. I don't know how happy he will be.
The next day, Bai Changshan sent her to the station. Although he didn't say much to her, when he saw her, he immediately burst into tears.When the train left, he still stood there, waving at her with his right hand up, with tears hanging from the corners of his eyes.He said a sentence countless times, so that the train was running for a long time, Fang Mengbai's mind still reflected his figure waving on the platform and the words he said: Mengbai, when you have time Now, take your mother to see me, okay?
She thought, I must do something for them, something for this shocking love.But what is it?she does not know.
She never expected that after entering university, she would get closer to Lu Qiusheng and spend every Sunday with him, gradually lifting the fog of another love.No wonder my mother repeatedly told me to visit Uncle Lu more often when I have time. He has been alone for decades and treats you like his own daughter, so you should show some filial piety to him.It turned out that the mother wanted to repay some of the love debts she owed in this way.
In the second half of 1978, after the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee, land reform began to be comprehensively implemented in the countryside. All landlords and rich peasants were all stripped of their hats, and there was no distinction between land rich and middle poor.The city began to comprehensively correct unjust, false and wrongly decided cases. The corrected cases were mainly concentrated in two periods.In addition, there are other policies that are gradually being implemented.
One Sunday, when Fang Mengbai went to Lu Qiusheng's house, he saw that the house was being moved.These residents have lived here for decades, and now they want to move out suddenly, and they are reluctant in their hearts. Many people are complaining and cursing the capitalists.After meeting Lu Qiusheng, I realized that this was the Lu family's ancestral home. It was confiscated by the people's government after liberation, and now it is implementing the policy to return it to the Lu family.Lu Qiusheng's parents died during the "Cultural Revolution". Among the brothers and sisters, the elder brother was killed by the rebels during the "Cultural Revolution".Several other relatives were also affected to varying degrees during the "Cultural Revolution".This time the government returned their old houses and allocated a special fund for repairs.Lu Qiusheng wanted to donate the house to the government, but his brothers and sisters firmly disagreed, saying that the property rights of the house did not belong to them, and there were two uncles, an aunt and a cousin living in Taiwan and the United States .If they want to donate, they also need their unanimous consent.Lu Qiusheng understands the government's intentions. With the reform and opening up, business and capital must be attracted, and he hopes that the descendants of Chinese people living overseas will come back to help the motherland's four modernizations.Over the past few decades, many grievances have been forged. If they don't show a gesture, how can these people come back?
Once the old residents in the house are evacuated, there will be only Lu Qiusheng in the huge house.He looked at the house, and the other party said dreamily, look, I am an old rightist, what do I need such a big house for?Cleaning will kill me.Fang Mengbai said, yes, there is only one woman missing now.After saying that, she couldn't help asking a question, saying, Uncle Lu, now the whole country is decapitating rightists, your problem will be solved soon.It's time for you to find someone to start a family with.He sighed softly and said, I think so.She asked, is there a problem?He looked at her and said that it has been decades, if there is no problem, there is no need to wait until today.When he said this, there was a special desolation and helplessness in his tone.It didn't sound like a fifty-year-old voice, but a hundred and fifty-year-old voice.
Fang Mengbai suddenly understood why Uncle Lu was always single. It turned out that there was always someone in his heart.Who is this woman?Is it worth Uncle Lu's lifetime?She was suddenly full of interest in that woman and pestered him, insisting that he tell herself.No matter what method she used, Lu Qiusheng just refused to speak.
The next week, when Fang Mengbai went, Lu Qiusheng was not there, so he just left a note for her, saying that he was going to Hongchuan to implement the policy, and it would take about two or three days before he came back.Although the mansion was completely cleared, Lu Qiusheng still lived in the original house.When Fang Mengbai was cleaning for him, he wanted to find traces related to that woman.Lu Qiusheng's house is so simple that it doesn't even have a lock.After searching for a long time, she dragged out a rattan leather box from under the bed, opened it, and found a bed sheet and a pillowcase inside, which were brand new.The rest are all books, with a hardcover set of anthologies of Marx and Engels, a set of anthologies of Lenin and four vertical volumes of anthologies of Mao Zedong.Other than that, nothing else.Fang Mengbai took out the sheets and pillow covers and put them on the bed, then picked up the books and opened them carefully.These books have been turned over many times and are heavily underlined.She turned the pages carefully, hoping something like a photo would fall off.But no.She put the box away and checked other places, still nothing.
There was no class the next afternoon, so she came to Lu Qiusheng's house again.As a rightist, Lu Qiusheng's home has been ransacked many times by the rebel Red Guards.If there is something special, either it has been stolen long ago, or it is hidden in some extremely secret place, which most people can't think of at all.Her first thought was that there might be a hole in the wall somewhere where something could be hidden.She searched all the cracks in the walls of the room, but couldn't find what she wanted.Then he looked for the ground, maybe, he buried important things in the ground somewhere.If it is going to be buried underground, there must be a place where the soil is different from other places.The ground plain is paved with green bricks, but I don't know when these green bricks have been removed, leaving the ground exposed.She checked the ground carefully twice, but found nothing unusual.
Fang Mengbai sat down on the bed, thinking carefully.The letters Bai Changshan wrote to his mother, the mother sewed them in the sewing kit.Will Lu Qiusheng put important things in a similar place?His identity is different from that of his mother, and his home is more likely to be ransacked. If it is placed in such a place, the possibility of being ransacked is extremely high.He should be placed in a place where the rebels can get it easily and will never suspect it.What things are not suspected?The writings of Marx, Enriques and Mao will certainly not be doubted.It suddenly occurred to her that the works collected by Lu Qiusheng, even if they were hardcover, were all wrapped in covers. Could they be hidden in those kraft paper covers?
She dragged out the box again, took out an anthology of Mao Zedong, opened the carefully wrapped cover, and saw that there was indeed a photo inside.When she saw this photo for the first time, she was taken aback. Why is it a photo of herself?The person he has a crush on is himself?How is this possible?After the beating heart calmed down, I looked at the photo carefully, only to realize that it was not my own photo, but an old yellow photo.Below is the name and time of the photo studio, which shows 1951.She turned over the front and saw two lines of writing on the back.The upper line reads "To Brother Lu Qiusheng", and the lower part is the signature, which is exactly the mother's name.
Her heart beat wildly again.Could it be that the object of Lu Qiusheng's crush is his own mother?She carefully recalled the Lu Qiusheng she knew, and suddenly understood in her heart.The first time I saw this Uncle Lu was during the three years of natural disasters. He appeared as my mother's brother and brought her a lot of food.Grandpa Zhou should have helped me to send myself to Dongxihu Farm. My mother didn't care about Grandpa Zhou very much, but she repeatedly told me to visit Uncle Lu more often.She took the college entrance examination by herself and was worried about problems in the political trial. Her mother wrote a letter to Lu Qiusheng but there was no reply.I went to college and came to see Lu Qiusheng every Sunday. He treated her like his own daughter, making her feel like coming home.
Fang Mengbai opened the covers of other books and found many letters.Some of these letters were drafts of letters written by Lu Qiusheng to his mother, and some were replies from his mother.Lu Qiusheng wrote many letters, which were written with deep affection and love.But my mother's replies are much less, and she writes as briefly as possible, without emotion, a bit like a running account.Through these letters, she knew the fact that her mother was engaged to Uncle Lu.
She resealed the letters and put them in a box, pushed the box under the bed, and left Lu Qiusheng's house.She was very confused and didn't know how she should deal with this matter.The person my mother loves is Bai Changshan. Although Bai Changshan also loves her, he is a married man after all.Their love was destined not to be tolerated by this society from the very beginning.On the contrary, Uncle Lu loves his mother so much that he would rather be single all his life to wait for this love than to disappoint this relationship in the slightest.After decades of waiting, can't arouse the mother's love?
January 5, 1979, an extremely ordinary day, was also the day of Fang Mengbai's final exam.Before entering the examination room in the morning, it was snowing lightly in the sky.The temperature dropped rapidly, and sitting in the examination room, my hands and feet were so cold that I couldn't bear the pain.Ningchang is a very special area. The average temperature in winter is around zero, the air humidity is high, and it belongs to the non-heating area. The cold is like thousands of fine knives, cutting on the exposed skin.The snow outside the window is getting bigger and bigger, and the thin snowflakes have turned into heavy snow.At the end of the exam, when I handed in the papers and walked out of the teaching building, there was already a thick snow outside.
Fang Mengbai followed her classmates to the dormitory when someone called her name suddenly.She stopped, looked around, and saw Lu Qiusheng standing at the door of the teaching building, without an umbrella, letting the white snowflakes fall on his head and body.She immediately ran over, patted the snowflakes on his body, and said, Uncle Lu, why are you here?Look at you, the snow has melted, why don't you find a place to hide?Lu Qiusheng said, it's okay, I'm happy today, I want to cover myself in snow.Fang Mengbai said, is it possible to implement the policy?Lu Qiusheng said, yes, I just received a call, and the notice of redress has been issued today.She stared into his eyes, and saw that his eye sockets were wet at that moment, and the clear tears began to gather, and soon filled the lower eyelids, and rolled down the drooping bags under the eyes.
She said, "That's great, Uncle Lu, you've finally come to this day."
Lu Qiusheng wiped his face with his hand, and said, "Yes, I'm so happy. I put down the phone, and I just wanted to tell someone the news. Except you, no one else can share my happiness, so, I I didn’t open my umbrella, so I came to look for you.”
Fang Mengbai was secretly startled when he heard this.Apart from himself, no one else can share his happiness?She asked tentatively: "Have you called my mother? If she knew, she must be very happy. "
Lu Qiusheng obviously didn't want to get involved in this topic, and said, "Let's go, my father and son, let's go have a few drinks and celebrate."
There are no state-run restaurants on the campus of Ningchang University, only cafeterias, and students have to walk a long distance from the school gate to eat restaurants.The snow was too heavy and the road was very slippery. Lu Qiusheng couldn't take Fang Mengbai on a bicycle, so he had to push the bicycle forward.Fang Mengbai walked beside him, raised the umbrella high, and covered his head as much as possible, but half of his body fell outside the control range of the umbrella.They walked across the campus, walked down a long ramp in front of the gate, and stopped at the station in front of the school gate.Lu Qiusheng locked his bicycle next to the stop sign, boarded the bus with her, and found a restaurant after one stop.The two sat down in the restaurant, ordered food and wine.
Lu Qiusheng said, you also have a few drinks.It's a cold day, warm up your body.Fang Mengbai said, I can't drink, and I have an exam in the afternoon.Lu Qiusheng said, then drink less and have a drink.Before the food was served, Lu Qiusheng had already poured out the wine.He picked up the wine glasses, put one of them in Fang Mengbai's hand, picked up another glass, touched her, brought the rim of the glass to his mouth, and made a long beep, like a special Charming tunes.Fang Mengbai couldn't help it a little, and asked if the person he loved was his mother.He took the wine glass away from his mouth, looked at her meaningfully, and asked, did your mother tell you?She said, no, I saw it myself.He sighed softly, raised his hand raised in mid-air, brought it close to his mouth, raised his neck, let out a sip, and drank the wine in the glass.He put the glass on the table, grabbed the bottle, and poured it into the glass.His hands trembled a little, and the wine spilled out of the glass and onto the table.He bent down, brought his mouth close to the table, pursed his lips, and sucked on the table, making a sizzling sound.
Fang Mengbai sat opposite, staring straight at him.In her eyes, this man's feelings are unfathomable and hidden.She really wanted to walk into his heart and measure the depth and temperature of his feelings, but all her efforts were in vain.He seemed to be floating on the boundless sea, surrounded by sea water, but calm.She said, why?You have so many opportunities.He said to her with begging eyes, I am happy today, can you say something else?
Since he didn't want to talk about this topic, she didn't talk about it, but asked him if he could stay in the province after resuming work?He said, I'm afraid it won't work, and he has to go back to Hongchuan City.Ready to leave tomorrow.
After returning to the dormitory after the exam in the afternoon, I saw my mother waiting at the door of the dormitory.Fang Mengbai burst into ecstasy, ran over, threw himself into his mother's arms, and said, Mom, why are you here?Did you know that Uncle Lu's correction notice has come down?Fang Zijin didn't seem to be as surprised as her daughter imagined, but just said, "That's really great."Her tone gave people the feeling that she didn't think it was very good.She saw that her mother was absent-minded, so she asked, Mom, what happened?Fang Zijin said, it's all right, I just happened to be on a business trip and came to see you.Fang Mengbai said, that's great, let's go see Uncle Lu together.He will leave early tomorrow morning.Fang Zijin froze for a moment, and said, leave early tomorrow morning?In such a hurry?Fang Mengbai looked at his mother's face, this face full of years of vicissitudes showed a faint sense of loss, and it seemed that a painful electric current flashed deep in his heart.The hearts of adults are too deep, and she can't see clearly at all.
The mother and daughter crossed the river in a car and came to the front of Lu's house. They happened to meet Lu Qiusheng pushing his bicycle out. There was a net bag hanging from the faucet of the bicycle, which contained canned fruits and other things.Fang Zijin said, brother, you want to go out?Lu Qiusheng looked up to see them and said, yo, you are here!Sit in the room.He turned the bike around, led them into the house, and put the fruit on the table.Fang Mengbai asked, Uncle Lu, where are you going?Lu Qiusheng said, your grandfather Zhou is sick, and I am going to the hospital.Fang Zijin was startled, and said, Principal Zhou is sick?sick?Lu Qiusheng frowned and said stomach cancer, hungry.When Fang Zijin heard this, he became anxious and said, which hospital is he in?Let's go see him together.
With the three of them together, Lu Qiusheng naturally couldn't ride a bicycle, and they had to take a bus.Fang Zijin and Lu Qiusheng walked side by side, Fang Mengbai was a little behind.On the street, there are modern youths with long hair, bell-bottom trousers, and radios everywhere.The times have changed unknowingly. Facing all this, Fang Zijin feels like a visitor from outsider.She sighed softly, and said, Teacher Yu's life was really hard, and he finally made it to the end, but...
Lu Qiusheng said, yes, he just came back from down there a few days ago.The doctor said that fortunately, he was discovered early, and after surgery and drug treatment, he should be able to live for a few years.
At the bus stop, Lu Qiusheng continued walking.Fang Zijin was puzzled and asked him why he didn't sit down.He explained that in recent years, the population has increased rapidly, but public facilities have not increased much. In addition to the "Cultural Revolution" in these years, all order has been smashed, and all moral sense and responsibility have been destroyed.The most chaotic thing is the public transportation. There are always cars coming and going. As long as there is a car coming, everyone rushes up and squeezes up desperately.The car was obviously full, and there were still dozens of people to squeeze in.The doors could not be closed, and some people were hanging outside the doors.Every month, there are people who are killed because of the crane door, but people still hang on.Lu Qiusheng was worried about the safety of Fang Zijin's mother and daughter, so he would rather go back two stops to get on the train at the starting point.Even though it is the starting point, there are always more people waiting for the bus than there are seats on the bus. When the bus comes, those people swarm on it, regardless of the elderly, children and women around them. When they finally squeeze into the bus, there are still no seats.
Rushing to the high-ranking ward of the hospital, Yu Shanyao was feeding Zhou Xinruo dinner.Their daughter Zhou was standing at the desk eating, and every once in a while, she would turn her head and ask her father, this fish is so delicious, would you like some?In other words, the tofu in Ningchang is really delicious.Yu Shanyao said, it's the godfather, I have taught you several times.Lu Qiusheng and the others went in, and everyone exchanged pleasantries.Then they were divided into two groups, Lu Qiusheng talked to Zhou Xinruo, and Fang Zijin's mother and daughter talked to Yu Shanyao's mother and daughter.Fang Zijin naturally didn't mention the sad topic, he just said that when you left, you didn't tell me. I didn't know until later that you had been gone for several days.Yu Shanyao said that at that time, she just wanted to get out of there quickly and didn't want to stay for a minute longer.Fang Zijin asked about her return to medical school. She said that the school arranged for her to be a teacher, but she hadn't contacted her for so many years, and everything was unfamiliar.She said, I have suggested to the college to let you return to the team.This matter, if Xin Ruo was not ill, it would be easy to do, but now that he is ill and no one speaks out, it will be a bit difficult.Fang Mengbai said, why?Wasn't my mother also persecuted?Why not implement the policy to implement my mother?Yu Shanyao said that the implementation of policies now mainly involves two major areas.Your mother's going down has nothing to do with these two areas, and it does not belong to the list of implementing policies.So, we can only think of other ways. During the "Cultural Revolution", many medical experts were killed, and some well-connected ones went abroad. Medical schools have to expand their enrollment, and what is lacking is talents.For this reason, it might be possible.
It was past nine o'clock when they left the hospital, and the three of them hadn't eaten yet. The state-run restaurant had already closed, so they had no choice but to go back to Lu Qiusheng's house to order noodles.Now, Lu Qiu has many houses, all of which are empty, and Fang Mengbai has a room by himself.Because there was an exam tomorrow, she got into her room when she got home, this was also to create an opportunity for Lu Qiusheng and his mother to talk together alone.
Fang Zijin said, "Are you leaving tomorrow?"
Lu Qiusheng said, "That's the plan."
Fang Zijin said, "Then what about this house?"
Lu Qiusheng said: "Let Mengbai live in. If you can be transferred, you will also live in in the future."
Fang Zijin stopped talking.Lu Qiusheng took out a cigarette, lit it and took a puff, when he coughed violently again.Fang Zijin said, quit.Lu Qiusheng said, besides it, what else do I have?Fang Zijin was silent for a while, and said, brother, let me discuss something with you.Lu Qiusheng said, what's the matter?Fang Zijin said that he came back and wanted to see Mengbai.Lu Qiusheng didn't come back to his senses for a while, and asked, which one?Who do you want to see Mengbai?She said, which one else?Surnamed Zhao.Lu Qiusheng groaned, and then fell silent.
Fang Zijin said, back then, when I gave birth to Mengbai in the hospital, Li Min called his unit, and he wanted to make a big fuss, and he refused to even look at his daughter.For twenty-two years, Mengbai had never met him once, nor had he used a penny of his money.Forget it, I won't talk about it, you know how Mengbai grew up.What is he doing?I brought up my daughter, but he was fine and came back to ask for his daughter.Lu Qiusheng said, hasn't he been unlucky all these years?Fang Zijin glanced at Lu Qiusheng and said, do you think he is like you?Lu Qiusheng said, maybe he these years... Fang Zijin interrupted him and said, you said he had a very difficult life these years, didn't you?You're wrong, he's having a great time.Seeing Lu Qiusheng looking at her in disbelief, she said, "You don't know that his membership in the party has not been expelled, and his position has been promoted again and again. When he resumed work, people also felt strange. How can a big rightist be a big rightist?" Deputy director of Shangxian Revolutionary Committee?
Lu Qiusheng didn't speak, but took a deep breath, as if he wanted to suck something into his stomach.Fang Zijin understood his expression and asked, do you know about this?
He said, I've heard of it.But I didn't expect it to be him.Like his situation, I am afraid that there are few cases in the whole country.
Zhao Wengong is indeed a special case.At the beginning, he was among the first to be classified as extreme right. After a series of criticisms, he was sent to a labor camp. A year later, he was expelled from the party, expelled from public office, and sent back to his hometown.However, the relevant parties did not send anyone to escort him, but handed over the file to him and let him go back by himself.谁都没料到，公社分管组织的副书记是赵文恭的亲戚，他在赵文恭的档案里做了手脚，然后安排赵文恭当了公社的宣传干事。如此一来，赵文恭又成了干部，并且一步步升迁。粉碎“四人帮”后，县领导班子进行了一次调整，他竟然当上了革委会副主任，政审时，竟然没有查出他的这段历史。按理说，提拔一名革委会副主任是一定要外调的，不仅要外调赵文恭读过的大学，也一样要外调他曾经工作过的省地质局。二十多年间，他会经历无数次外调。可在他那位亲戚的关照下，所有外调竟然全部蒙混过关。直到省里为他平反的通知文件发下来，县里才清楚竟然有这么件事。
方子衿说，是啊，他现在得意了，可以名正言顺当他的副处长了，以为自己有资本来要回女儿了。陆秋生没有说话，却点起了又一支烟，顿时咳得勾起了身子。方子衿充满怜意地看了他一眼，似乎想再劝说几句，话到嘴边，说出的却是：你是不是觉得我太自私了？陆秋生摆了摆手，说，我觉得不是这个问题。他是梦白的父亲，这一点，你不能否认，任何人也改变不了这个事实。方子衿说，你的意思是，让梦白去见他？他说，梦白已经成人了，是个大学生了，为什么不让她自己决定？
方子衿将下好的面条盛在碗里，没有说话。陆秋生说，这一关，总得过的。方子衿叹了一口气，说，我怕。陆秋生不说了，定定地站在她的身后。他知道，她的心里，正进行着一场战争，一种血缘和亲情间的战争。让梦白认下自己的父亲，不仅仅因为他们有血缘，还因为父亲目前回到省里当处长了，户口在省城。相反，她的母亲却在下面的小县里。以目前大学的分配原则，如果没有这个父亲，她要留在省城的机会要小得多。方梦白一旦认下自己的父亲，方子衿或许会认为是对自己的否定吧？情感上无论如何都没法接受。他说，这件事，你不能替她决定。而且，你也不方便出面和她谈。要不，我找她谈谈？方子衿将其中的一碗面递到他的手里，说，如果她要认，怎么办？陆秋生说，那句话怎么说的？天要下雨，娘要嫁人。孩子毕竟大了。方子衿将另一碗面端到他的手里，说，你先去吧。
陆秋生端着两碗面条来到方梦白的门前，没有空出的手敲门，只好用脚轻轻踢了几下。方梦白将门打开，连忙伸手端过面条，说，陆伯伯，你叫我出去嘛。陆秋生说，不碍事，你的学习要紧嘛，我闲着也是闲着。方梦白端过面条，将桌上的书向旁边移了一点，把碗放在空出的地方，吃一口面条，看几行字。陆秋生在她身边坐下来，吃了一口面，对方梦白说，梦白，我跟你商量件事。方梦白从书中抬起头，看着他。他说，我记得你爸爸也是划了右派的，现在也应该拿到改正通知书了吧。她嗯了一声，算是回答。他说，他拿到通知书后，第一件事肯定是想见你。方梦白用鼻子哼了一声，说，我才不稀罕。他说，你是不是考虑一下？他毕竟是你爸爸，血缘关系你不能不认吧。方梦白说，我没有爸爸，我是从石头里蹦出来的，从天上掉下来的。
陆秋生还想说点什么，见她的态度，最终没说，将两人吃过的碗收了，回到厨房。方子衿坐在那里，面前的一碗面没有动过。见他进来，她有点迫不及待地问他，么样？他说，有其母必有其女啊。方子衿心中的一块石头落了地，端起已经冷了的面，往嘴里扒了几口，又像是突然想起什么，说，你觉得我们不应该这样？他说，你快吃面吧，都冷了。
方子衿意识到，在这件事上，陆秋生和自己是有分歧的，她因此不再涉及此事，而是谈周昕若。方子衿说，你说世界上到底有没有命运？如果说没有，那么，周校长和余老师熬了这么多年，好不容易熬出头了，却得到这么个结局。对此，陆秋生的看法又是不同，他认为，与千千万万的人相比，他们已经够幸运了。像胡之彦那样一些人，曾经嚣张一时，结果又能怎样？方子衿说，胡之彦只是一个特例，像李淑芬这样的人，倒是大有市场，无论在哪一个时代的运动中，他们都是幸运儿。相反，像她这样，自从二十岁之后，就像走到了一条岔道上，没有一天是顺的。陆秋生说，是啊，人生走在路上，而面前的路不会总只有一条。人们永远不知道那些被自己拒绝的路会导向什么样的结果，同时，人们也很难认识到，人生的艰难，主要因为选择的错误。
潜意识里，方子衿明白他这是在旁敲侧击，说明她没有选择他，是她这一生错误的根源。他在暗指她对白长山的爱，误了三个人的一生。可她想，如果她真的选择了陆秋生，心里又一直爱着另一个人，这一生，真的就会幸福吗？她曾试图作出这样的选择，于是她先嫁给了赵文恭，后嫁给了彭陵野，事实证明她错了。这或许就是她无法挣脱的宿命，她永远不可能生活在没有爱情的婚姻里。
两人各执己见，谁也说服不了谁。陆秋生感到自己最后的努力成为泡影，再争论下去，也于事无补。他站起来，说，太晚了，明天我还要赶路，你也早点睡吧。他转身向自己的房间走去，脚步并不十分坚定。意识深处，他希望像从前某次那样，她会主动留他。他回到房间，先将门反闩了，又想，或许她犹豫之后，会改变主意？他将门闩拉开，任门虚掩着。直到蒙眬睡去，也没有听到隔壁有什么特别的动静。
天还没亮，他从床上爬起来，先去方梦白的门前听了听，里面传来均匀的鼾声，再到方子衿的门前听了听，里面一点声音都没有。行李昨天已经清好了，几件旧衣服，一箱子书而已。还是当兵时的习惯，将衣服和被子绑扎在一起，给方子衿和方梦白留了张条子，提着箱子背上包便跨出了门。
方子衿竟然站在门口，朦胧的曙色中，她的影子非常模糊，像一尊神。陆秋生一下子愣住了，在她面前站了一会儿，一时失控，伸手将她搂在怀里。她没有挣扎，静静地让他抱着。他突然兴奋得发狂，觉得自己就像是一座千年冰山，瞬间彻底地融化了。他紧紧地抱着她，用他火热的唇去寻找她的唇。然而，在最后一刻，她逃避了，将头偏向了一边。他以为这一切只是出于某种女性的本能，因此用双手掌着她的脸，再一次将自己的唇送上去。这次，她非常坚决地偏过头去。
几十年的时间，变化的只是岁月，却根本无法改变一个人的感情。他算是彻底明白了，松开她，向后退了一步，提起地上的箱子，向前走去。她说，我去送你。他很坚决地说，不用了。她在那里呆立片刻，还是追了上去，伸手去帮他提箱子。他没有松手，而是说，你回去睡吧。她不说话，也不松手。他说，你回吧，还是我一个人走比较好。
他的语气虽然不重，却是很坚决的拒绝。她再没有力气向前走，而是站在那里，看着他头也不回地向前走去。曙色中，他的身影更显得孱弱矮小，整个人似乎萎缩了一般。她很希望自己脚下的地突然陷下去，那样，她就不会独自品味这种刀割一般的疼痛了。她经历了两次无爱的婚姻，不想再经历一次了。婚姻就像一条无休无止的河流，冲涤了她所有的激情，令她只剩下一具空壳了。难道，自己又一次错了？
东边，现出一道白光，勾勒着城市的天穹，对她形成一种巨大的压迫。
昨天大雪纷飞，今天却晴空万里。炽白的阳光照在雪地上，带着一股子寒气。坐在车上的方子衿感到异常冷，比昨天更冷。方子衿知道，她是心冷。这几年，全国各地都在发生着深刻的变化，可她似乎从来都没有顺过，反而有一种越来越迷惑的感觉。
女儿的白河之行，揭穿了她维持十年的一个谎言，白长山对她没有丝毫怨言，反而认定这是天赐的幸福。女儿还没从白河回来，白长山的电报就已经先到了。上面只有七个字两个标点符号：
“天亮了，拥抱太阳。”
医院门房的小伙子将电报递给她的时候说，这是什么呀，什么天亮了拥抱太阳，有钱没地方花了吧？
最初，小伙子叫住她说有电报的时候，她还觉得奇怪，以为是女儿在白河出了什么事。听到小伙子说出那七个字时，她迅速明白了，电报是白长山打来的。接电报的时候，她的手发抖。
女儿回来不久，他的信也到了。信中的每一句话，都像是一团火。这封信，方子衿看了无数遍，竟能一字不漏地背下来。
白长山在信中写道：
子衿妹子：
我刚刚送走梦白，第一件事就是赶去邮电局给你发了一封电报，刚刚回到车队，现在又开始给你写信。
梦白告诉我，你没有死，你只是怕连累我，才想出那种方法，想让我断了对你的念想。妹子，这真是太令我惊喜太让我意外太让我兴奋了。十年了，整整十年了。这十年来，我没有一天不在想你，没有一天不在念你。许多时候，你悄然走进了我的梦里，醒来的时候，我会将头捂在被子里流泪。我感激上天给了我这样的梦，给了我在梦中和你相见的机会。每当你走进我梦中的日子，我会一连许多天充满兴奋和期待。
我在心中默默地祈祷，希望下一个幸福的日子快些来临。那时，我以为这一辈子，除了梦中，我们再也没有机会见到了。我祈祷上苍，让我的梦成为你灵魂的家园，让你在每一个夜深时走进我的梦境。
妹子，无论做多少个梦，我都没有想到，上天会对我如此恩顾，会让你一直活在我的世界里。我想，是我这么多年的祈祷感动了上天，上天才会在那个动乱的岁月里，让你有力量顽强地活下来。
听说你还活着的消息时，我多么希望我能生出一对翅膀，迅速穿过蓝天白云，飞到你的身边呀。那时，我只希望我是一只鸟，一只无拘无束无怨无悔的鸟，一只除了你的方向，再没有任何方向的鸟。
妹子，我的好妹子我的亲妹子啊。
这么多年来，每当想起你的时候，我的心就是疼的，你知道吗？
自从失去你的消息之后，每一个日子都写着苍白，每一天都如同黑夜，我的灵魂，早已经随你而去，只剩下这具没有灵魂的空壳，还在这个世界上游走。行尸走肉是一个常用的词，可我以前根本就不明白这个词所代表的含义。失去你的消息之后，我突然意识到，我自己就是行尸走肉，我的灵魂随你而去了。
而今天，现在，我的灵魂回来了，是随着你的消息一起回来的。我的天亮了。我的生命，重新有了色彩。
妹子，因为有了你，我的第二次人生开始了。
妹子，我太激动了，自己都不知道自己在这纸上写了些什么。我一定是语无伦次了。对了，等一等，我得咬自己一口，证明这一切不是在梦里。
哎哟，妹子，好疼，这么说，这一切是真的了？
妹子，我的亲妹子，我日思夜想的妹子，我一生一世的亲人呀。我好想你好想你好想你好想你呀。
方子衿知道，自己就是一堆干柴，只要有点风吹，再有点火星，这爱情之火，又会熊熊地燃起。她知道，这把火如果再烧下去，将会烧尽自己所有的能量。东西湖的那个夜晚陆秋生给她的暗示，她不是不懂，也不是不动心。同时她也知道，她这颗心，已经没法再动了。她既没有太大的希望嫁给自己爱的男人，也不可能三次结婚，三次都嫁给自己不爱的男人。这就是她的宿命。既然自己和白长山的这段情根本没有希望，既然已经走过了近三十年风雨，好不容易心情可以稍稍平静了，又何必再去搅动？就让那段情在自己枯槁的心中安睡好了。
她没有回信，可白长山的信是一封接着一封。她想，既然他知道自己还活在世上，再不回话不好，便给他写了一封回信。她在信中仅仅写了一句话：“哥，你还是忘了妹子吧。妹子没福，消受不了你的这份情。”
她以为从此自己可以归于平静，没料到白长山一个电话犹如一颗石子，彻底地打破了这种平静。白长山在电话中说，他要来看她，准备放下电话就去买火车票。她试图劝说他，可他似乎已经疯狂。他说接到她的信，他的心被割成了一片片，从来没有这么痛苦过，从来没有这么绝望过。现在他唯一的念头，就是不顾一切地赶到她的身边，和她生活在一起。他已经想好了，准备放弃现有的一切，去和她一起生活。她问他，他所说的一切指什么。他说，就是一切，工作和家庭，他什么都不想要了，只要她。这一辈子，所有的一切都不属于他，只有对她的这份感情，才是他唯一真正的拥有。如果失去了她，他便从此成了乞丐，从此一无所有了。她知道他是说得出做得到的，可他如果真的不顾一切来了，那就将他的一切真的毁了。她被这份情再一次打倒了。她说，好，我答应你，永远再不提分手，我们还像从前一样通信。
既然是宿命，那是一定挣脱不掉的。她不挣了，认命了。
可命运总是和岁月纠缠在一起的。彭陵野的纠缠随着对“文革”的清算而告一段落，她以为自己从此可以和过去告别，没料到赵文恭却突然冒了出来。那天，办公室的人叫她接电话，她还以为是白长山来的。长途电话是需要总机转接的，如果白长山给她打电话，先得拨通白河市，再通过白河邮电局叫通灵远，灵远县邮局再转接被叫机。有些大的单位在邮局有账号，接通之后，只需要报出账号就可以通话了。如果是私人电话，就得去邮局要牌排队轮号。打电话比拍电报麻烦得多，一般人不是有急事或者方便，肯定不会想到打电话。听说要接电话，方子衿的心就怦怦跳得厉害。她想，该不是白长山出差来宁昌吧？
接起电话一听，却是一个陌生的声音。
“喂，我是赵文恭。”
赵文恭？方子衿脑子里某根弦跳了一下。这个名字好熟，是自己的一个熟人。可岁月沉淀了许多的过程，这个赵文恭同自己哪一段过去交接过？她还没有想明白这个问题，对方又开口了。
他说，我们的女儿应该有二十二岁了吧。对了，她叫么名字？
赵文恭，原来是他。她说，她是我的女儿，不是我们的女儿，更不是你的女儿。
对方沉默了半天，给她的感觉是受到打击后开始犹豫了，或许会放下电话。可是没有，几秒钟后又有声音传来：我现在回到省地质局了。我想见一见她。我没有别的意思。
这次是方子衿沉默了，她不知道怎么办。她不说话，他便一个劲地表白，说不是自己不管女儿，毕竟是自己的女儿，身上流着自己的血，他无时无刻不在思念着女儿。可是，命运对他不公，他心有余而力不足。方子衿抓住了机会，说，对了，你的三胞胎女儿怎么样？我记得你好像连红鸡蛋都没有给过我吧。
这样的电话，真是令人尴尬。方子衿捅破这层纸之后，对方再一次陷入沉默，却没有挂电话。她觉得自己已经没有力量握住话筒，很想立即将电话挂掉。同时又想，错不在自己，真理掌握在自己手里，有什么好怕的？心虚的应该是他才对。她意识到，这是自己面临的最严峻的一场战争，她不能退却，不能在他面前显示自己的懦弱。
过了不知多长时间，那边又传出声音，说我没别的意思，只想看看女儿。
方子衿说，这事我做不了主。女儿已经成人了，见不见你，你自己找她问去。
又过了片刻，那边传来犹犹豫豫的一声好吧，挂断了电话。
话筒里的忙音响了很久，方子衿还抓着话筒愣在那里。她最后的那句话是在提醒赵文恭，其实也提醒了她自己。女儿成人了，她这个母亲，再也不能替女儿做决定了，这一点，自己以前倒是没有意识到。何况，女儿在宁昌读书，赵文恭就在省城，要打听到女儿的地址并不是一件难事。如果他直接去宁昌大学找到女儿，几句好话，会不会把女儿的心给说软了？那一瞬间她作出一个决定，要去一趟宁昌。尽管没有想好去了以后怎样向女儿说明，却知道自己一定得跑一趟。
女儿的态度，给了她最大的安慰。可她没料到，自己不得不面对另一段未了情债，尤其没有想到，二十七年前中断的那个吻，被历史进行了重新剪辑。她知道，如果他的攻势更加猛烈一些，自己或许会以某种自己都不可能意识到的方式投降。她早已经不再纯洁，她永远都不可能再以纯洁的方式成为某人的俘虏。
历史又一次从终点走到了起点，她的心绪完全乱了。
春节姗姗而来。艳阳高照，竟然没有雪。女儿提议在宁昌过春节，就住在陆秋生那里。丫头不知知道了些什么，竟然想在她和他之间牵上一根红线。因为她不同意，女儿改变主意，提出邀请他来灵远过春节。这次，方子衿未置可否。最终，陆秋生没有来，方子衿也没有问。方子衿破天荒地买了很多鞭炮，将这个春节炸得天翻地覆。女儿却像一只燕子，整天就在外面飞，除了睡觉，根本不落家。
直到年初四，女儿才总算有时间陪陪她了。乡村的规矩，春节之后的几天都是拜年的时间。初一是拜族中长辈的日子，左邻右舍相互走拜的日子，也是老了人，上新香的日子。大年初二是新姑爷上门的日子，外孙给外公外婆拜年的日子。也有些地方初二不出门，有些地方初三不出门，说是出门不吉利。初四就是拜一些重要亲戚的日子了。“文革”中砸烂了很多东西，只有这个拜年的习俗根深蒂固，没有被砸烂。方子衿没什么亲戚可以走动，只是初一去院长王文胜家拜了个年，便老老实实呆在家里。方梦白的高中同学，只有她一个人考上了大学，其余的人绝大多数还在当知青，也有几个招工了的。以前，她是地主加坏分子的女儿，现在摇身一变，成了天之骄子。同学们闹着要到她家聚会，于是约定了初五。
母女俩一早就开始为第二天的聚会做准备。方子衿为女儿的朋友准备一个招牌式宁昌排骨汤。方梦白从大学同学那里学到一个珍珠圆子，也准备一并献上。方子衿拿出年前准备好的排骨，砍成一段一段的，又将锅烧红，倒进一些菜油，等锅里冒出青烟的时候，把排骨倒进去，操起锅铲，翻动着排骨。不一定要把排骨炒熟，只要在油锅里炒一遍就成。经过这一程序之后的排骨汤，会更香一些。接着，将这些排骨盛进砂吊子里，兑上水，放进比排骨多两倍的切成大块大块的莲藕，加一些八角、桂皮等香料，搁在炭火上慢慢地熬。方梦白的珍珠圆子做起来稍麻烦一些，先必须将肉剁成肉末，为了这肉圆能松软可口，最好加点鱼肉一起剁。剁肉所用的体力不大，可动作频繁，一会儿便会手酸手软。
方子衿把排骨汤放在炭火上之后，走到女儿面前，对她说，我来吧。方梦白拿过脸盆，舀了两碗糯米，往盆里放了些水浸泡着。
母女俩一边干着活儿，一边说着话。母亲说，那个余显洲，对你好像很有意思吧。女儿的表情滞了一下，说，真是烦死了。母亲说，如果不喜欢人家，就早点回了他。女儿说，我回了呀，高一的时候回了一次，高二的时候又回了一次。在东西湖的时候，他一个月给我写几封信，我一封也没有回过。母亲转换了话题，问她，你现在的同学呢？有没有合适的？女儿说，在我们班，我是最小的。那些大哥哥大姐姐对我都很好。母亲再盯了一句，有没有特别好的？女儿说，有几个。不过，学校禁止谈恋爱，我可不想违反校规。
恰在此时，有人敲门。方子衿正在剁肉，没有听到，方梦白先走到了门前。门其实并没有关上，方梦白走过去时，看到门口站着一个瘦高个的男人，五十多岁的年纪，穿着一件崭新的灰色卡叽布中山装，手里提着一刀用稻草系着的肉。方梦白问，你找哪个？男人说，你是梦白吧？I seek you.方梦白疑惑地看着面前这个男人，说你找我？赵文恭说，我叫赵文恭，是你爸爸。方梦白突然之间来了气，说，我没有爸爸，我是从石头缝里蹦出来的。get out.方子衿在厨房里问，梦白，谁呀？你和谁在说话？方梦白说，哦，是，是一个要饭的。方子衿说，大过年的，上门都是客，别怠慢了人家。方梦白答应一声，转向赵文恭说，你走吧，别让我妈知道，否则，我饶不了你。赵文恭还想说点什么，方梦白已经转身返回厨房。
女儿再进厨房之后，显得魂不守舍，方子衿和她说话，她竟然像没听见一般。方子衿奇怪了，问，刚才那个人是谁？是不是余显洲？She said no.方子衿又追问，方梦白提起垃圾往外走，说，我去把垃圾倒了。方子衿说，你忘了四天不出财的？不能倒的。方梦白似乎没有听到一般，端着垃圾出去了。她没有进一步制止。所谓四天不出财这种风俗，她并不十分相信，倒也就倒了。但女儿突然的变化，令她十分疑惑。果然，没过太久，女儿端着那些垃圾，神色慌张地回来了。
方子衿以目光向女儿询问。方梦白在房间里站了一会儿，手里仍然端着装垃圾的撮箕。方子衿再以目光向她询问了一次。方梦白似乎突然下定了决心，端着垃圾转身出了门。方子衿觉得女儿的行为十分怪异，放下手中的活，悄悄跟了上去。她还没有出门，就听到女儿在外面对某个人说，你这人么回事？大过年的，难道要我说难听的话吗？方子衿心中暗自一惊，嘀咕道，这丫头，对谁说话呢，这么凶。她以为是某个追求她的同学，正想出去看看，却听到一个似曾相识的声音传来。
赵文恭说：“我是你爸爸呀。我大老远跑来找你，你……”
方梦白说：“我请你来了吗？我求你来了吗？你还知道你是我爸爸？我们最艰难的时候，你在哪里？我妈去了医疗队，我和阿姨一起去菜场捡烂菜叶子捡煤渣的时候，你在哪里？我妈被造反派抓去批斗，我一个人连家门都不敢进的时候，你在哪里？红卫兵骂我是黑五类，往我脸上吐痰，拦在路上打我的时候，你在哪里？”
赵文恭说：“女儿，我知道你受了苦。你也替爸爸想一想，爸爸已经老了。”
方梦白说：“你老了就找我来了，就要我尽责任和义务了？我有这样的责任有这样的义务吗？这么多年，你想过你的责任和义务吗？我妈在医院里生我，你在搞大鸣大放的时候，想过吗？你想过我妈把我带到这里来，我大病一场，差点就死了吗？你想过我们母女两人怕继父会骚扰我所过的那种忍辱负胆战心惊的日子吗？”
知道赵文恭找到自己家里来了，方子衿真的非常气愤，原想抓起扫帚冲出去，将他打走。转而一想，这事自己插进去，还真不是太好。她小心地退进了厨房，将剁好的肉放进一只大碗里，拿出两只