Chapter 4 Chapter 04 You wait for me, you must wait for me
For a while, Bai Changshan felt extremely depressed.
In the past, he drove a car and ran after the gunfire. Wherever there was the sound of gunfire, the wheels would roll there.He loves that sound, that sound that lifts the spirits.He especially liked the silence on the battlefield after a fierce battle.That kind of stillness is real stillness.The continuous artillery fire drove away all the mice, birds, and the like around the battlefield.If it is night, the sky is full of stars, and in the wilderness, crickets are contending.Bai Changshan likes to sleep in that kind of wild place.Parked the car beside the battlefield, took out a cushion as a pillow, fell on the ground, and fell asleep, the peace of mind in my heart was really incomparable.
Now, the whole country is liberated, the war is over, and there is no more war to fight. Everyone has lived in a decent barracks, and the barracks have been built into large and small courtyards one by one.As the deputy company commander, he no longer needs to sleep with other soldiers, and has his own private room.Walk into the house, it's empty.People get bored and depressed.
Bai Changshan graduated from high school, and after joining the army, he learned some culture.When I first entered the army, I worked as a clerk in the regiment, and often wrote newsletters, poems, essays, etc., and several newsletters were even excerpted by the newspapers of the military department.He has always had a dream to publish his works in the newspapers of the field army.At that time, as long as he was free, he liked to write.Even after becoming an auto soldier, he still hasn't given up on this hobby.Now that I am completely free, my heart is empty, with nothing left.There is nothing else to do except training and reading newspapers every day.
Bai Changshan was idle, but others were not.In the regiment, three happy events were held one after another.
That night, the battalion commander held a wedding, and the daughter-in-law was said by the family since she was a child.After liberation, the army was stationed, and the battalion commander wrote a letter to the government in his hometown. His wife took the letter and found the army.At the wedding, the battalion commander and his daughter-in-law twisted the duo together.Bai Changshan looked at the battalion commander's daughter-in-law, and thought of the concubine of the Kuomintang officer captured on Hainan Island, and unconsciously looked at her chest.Seeing this made his heart jump violently.The battalion commander's daughter-in-law's breasts are so big, when she waved her hands and danced the duet, the two lumps of meat were like two balls, rolling to one side for a while, and rolling to the other side for a while.Later, during the wedding ceremony, the battalion commander and his wife came over to toast him.The battalion commander said: Changshan, when will you give yourself a whole wife?He said what are you talking about, Battalion Commander.Isn't this embarrassing me?He clinked glasses with the battalion commander, and cast his eyes on the chest of the battalion commander's daughter-in-law. What was reflected in his mind was the pair of shining white tits on that moonlit night in Hainan Island.
That night, Bai Changshan and the pair of tits tossed all night.All of a sudden, the battalion commander's daughter-in-law was dancing in front of him, and for some reason, there were two pure white rabbits fighting on her chest.Suddenly, she became the second concubine again, hunched over and working with the deputy in the moon field, with a pair of breasts dangling like two porcelain gourds.For some reason, the regimental deputy became him, Bai Changshan.The morning exercises had just finished the next day, and Bai Changshan started to wash his clothes immediately, scolding himself for being worthless while washing.I am a revolutionary fighter, if I don’t dream about revolution at night, why do I dream about these things?Is this what a revolutionary fighter should dream about?In the final analysis, I was still too idle. Where did these messy dreams happen during the wars?
People are weird, the more he hates himself, the more this incident makes him flustered.His hand holding the steering wheel was very disappointing, and as soon as he lay on the bed, he swam to one place consciously or unconsciously.Bai Changshan, you are no joke.He cursed himself hard.After a while, I would say to myself again, just this time, not the next time.His revolutionary will is too weak, so he has to do it two or three times a night.The next day, the wet underwear dried up, and there was a large hard piece in front, like an iron plate.People in the north are less particular, and if they don’t change their underwear for a few days or even longer, the iron plate will become harder and harder, reminding him that it’s not a joke.
It's all about peace.Therefore, Bai Changshan was very eager to fight.
That day, the superior issued a very strange order: all cadres and soldiers should shave their heads.When everyone took turns to shave their heads, a few photographers came to the camp to take pictures of everyone.As for the cars, they all drove to the train station, and then all ran back to the camp.Everyone in the group didn't understand what was going on, even the head of the group was ignorant.Bai Changshan said, look, a war is about to start.The comrades blew their beards and stared at him, saying that you are talking nonsense, when is it?The battle is over.Unexpectedly, that night, the emergency assembly horn blew loudly, and then trotted all the way to the station.God, the platform was packed with people, all of them soldiers.If it is normal, with so many soldiers sitting together, the singing must be loud.But tonight was special, there was no sound at all.
After waiting for dozens of minutes, a train rumbled over and stopped in front of them.The soldiers began to board the cars, and a whole battalion could fit in one car.The car regiment was different from the infantry regiment in that it had a small number of people. The whole car regiment entered a carriage, and the carriage was not fully occupied. Later, some people from other troops were added.This is the kind of truck, which is what people call a stuffed tank truck. There are no windows and no toilets in the compartment, and there is a toilet bucket in each of the four corners.With a bang, after the car door was closed, it was like night inside, with no light to be seen.Before getting on the bus, everyone lined up to fill a pot of water and got a few cold steamed buns. When they were hungry, they ate steamed buns with cold boiled water, and gnawed out a mouthful of white flour.If it is convenient, I urinate in the toilet. The whole car has a strong smell of urine, which is very pungent.If you want to have a bowel movement, you have to suffer a little bit and hold back.The train has been running non-stop, and it often takes dozens of hours to stop to replenish supplies. So the soldiers took this opportunity to get down to defecate and line up to get water and steamed buns.
Where is this pulling?Everyone in the car is asking this question.There is no answer.Some people say, we are going north, should we not be allowed to return to our hometown in Northeast China?
How do you know it's heading north?The recruit Danzi has no experience, so he naturally said this.
Did you not see it?The temperature is getting lower and lower.
It's almost mid-October, and of course the temperature is getting lower and lower every day.
The low temperature also gradually decreases. How can it be so low, several degrees in a day?If I'm not mistaken, we're probably out by now.Strange, what is there outside this pass?Even if it's a bandit, what can we do?There are several troops stationed here in our four fields, can we still make trouble in the sky?
Making trouble with bandits?Bai Changshan wanted to laugh.These people only care about their own trivial matters every day, and don't read books or newspapers at all.If you read the newspaper, you can make a good guess.
North Korea.Bai Changshan said.You all guessed wrong.We are definitely going to North Korea.
North Korea?Where is North Korea?someone asked.
Have you never read the newspaper or listened to the radio?Bai Changshan said quite proudly.The U.S. imperialist invasion of Korea is a major international event.North Korea is our socialist ally, and we certainly cannot stand idly by.I dare say that our action this time must be to support our North Korean brothers.
Oh my god, are you going to go abroad?Some comrades cried out excitedly.
Hearing that they are going to fight, the recruits' emotions are very special.After all, they have never experienced war and have a special fear of war.The old soldiers were different, there was no sound of guns and guns, they couldn't sleep, and when they heard that there was a battle to be fought, they screamed with excitement.
It was night when I got off the train, and it was also night when I got back into my car.At this time, the car was already full of materials and wrapped tightly in green canvas.No need to look, as long as he smells the smell, Bai Changshan knows that it must be weapons and ammunition.The cars started to move, and many cars drove forward in a single file.Where is ahead, Bai Changshan doesn't know.At every important intersection, there are military police with armbands standing, and they will direct the direction of the car.
The car drove onto a large bridge, and soldiers from the People's Liberation Army stood guard at the head of the bridge.This bridge was different from all the bridges Bai Changshan had seen before. It was made of steel. Where the car passed by, there was a train running side by side. It could be clearly seen that the train was full of soldiers.On both sides of the road, there was a column of soldiers marching in the same direction.As a veteran, Bai Changshan can understand everything with just a glance.This is no ordinary march, but a hasty march, and a secret hasty march at that.The mouths of the army horses are covered with bamboo strip masks, which is to prevent the horses from neighing.No one in the teams on both sides sang, naturally for concealment.
In just a few minutes, the car drove across the iron bridge.At the other end of the bridge, there are still soldiers standing guard.However, their uniforms are not those of the Chinese People's Liberation Army.Bai Changshan thought, yes, his guess is right, they are the Korean People's Army.From this point of view, he has already set foot on the land of North Korea.He looked up at the sky, it was dark, there was no moon, and he couldn't see the stars.At that moment, Bai Changshan once again thought of the woman who was destined to leave an eternal mark on his life journey.He said silently in his heart: My woman, you wait for me, you must wait for me well.I will come back from North Korea with a medal for meritorious service to marry you.
This night, Fang Zijin had a dream lying on his own bed in the student dormitory of Huazhong College of Traditional Chinese Medicine.
The dream was very vague, as if walking on a road in a mountainous area.Suddenly, someone shouted that the devil was coming, and everyone started running wildly.Fang Zijin also ran desperately.Somehow, her parents couldn't run away, so she had to go back to save her parents.The ghosts suddenly appeared, and they caught the parents, and they also caught her.They tied her up and built a fire with pots hanging from it.They will kill their parents and cook meat to eat.Those devils turned into Fang Erguai, who couldn't wait to talk. They held sharp knives in their hands, but the ones held by them were two big white pigs.Fang Zijin knew that the two pigs were her parents, she yelled loudly.Fang Erguaizi said to her with a ferocious smile, what is it called?When the meat is ready, I will give you a bowl too, so that you will have the strength to do good work.
When the meat was ready, those people picked up pieces of meat with knives and stuffed them into their mouths.The meat was bloody, they ate it with relish, their mouths and faces were covered with bright red blood.These people covered in blood pushed Fang Zijin to the ground.They wanted to undress her and rape her.There was a mouth full of blood about to kiss her, and she struggled desperately, shouting desperately.
Just then, a tall man rushed over on a white horse.He was wearing a People's Liberation Army uniform, but somehow it had no collar badge.Fang Zijin tried to see his face clearly, but his face was so blurred that he couldn't see clearly.The man waved the gun in his hand, bang bang bang a few shots in a row, and fell to the ground dead before he could wait for anyone.She and the man rode to the white horse, and the white horse ran forward desperately.The man stretched out his strong hands and hugged her belly from behind.Her head was thrown back against his chest.His face was close to hers, rubbing gently against her hairline and her ear.She turned her head and slowly approached the man's lips.At the moment when their lips were about to meet, the horse under them bounced violently.She woke up, and after waking up, she was still reminiscing about that feeling.
"Zijin, Zijin, wake up." Li Shufen yelled while shaking her body.
Li Shufen is her new classmate, seven years older than her.The two share the same room and seat, and Li Shufen is also the deputy squad leader and deputy secretary of the Youth League branch, treating all the girls in the class like a big sister.Li Shufen is a native of northern Shaanxi. She is rough yet delicate, unrestrained yet shrewd. When she does things, she speaks like a torrential rain. Her voice is rough, with a hissing feeling, as if it has been ground in sand. Crackling, crackling, not vague at all.She likes to have short hair that reaches her ears, and wears an old cloth yellow military uniform with an armed belt around her waist and leggings.Although she is twenty-six years old, she is already an old revolutionary. When the Red Army reached northern Shaanxi on the Long March, she was only ten years old. Work as a nurse in a hospital.She joined the party at the age of sixteen and has been in the party for ten years.
Li Shufen said, did you have some nightmare?It was very uncomfortable.Fang Zijin let out an oh, and his face started to burn.Fortunately, it was night, so no one could see her blushing.After being woken up by Li Shufen, Fang Zijin didn't fall asleep for a long time, tossing and turning, his mind was full of the big white horse and the man on the horse.She thought it was strange, he was obviously a soldier, but why didn't he have a collar badge on his military uniform?Could it be that she has changed jobs like Sister Li?Strange, why would I have such a dream?Moreover, it is really embarrassing to feel that way sitting on a big white horse with a man.
A few days later in the morning, taking advantage of a few minutes before class, Hu Zhiyan stood up and announced a loud announcement to the whole class.He said: "Quiet, he's bright and quiet. Next, I will stutter to announce the announcement of the school league committee." He stood on the podium, with one hand on his hips, and the other hand was raised and waved from time to time, or it was pointed in front of him. Tap a few times on the podium.From the looks of it, he didn't seem to be announcing a notice, but was mobilizing before the battle in an official language mixed with many dialects and vulgar expressions.His pronunciation is very strange, the voice is very thin, and some words have a strange taste when they come out of his mouth.For example, his catchphrases "fuck" and "dick" turned into "he's bright" and "stuttered".He said: "The school league committee decided that all the naughty girls in the school should write a letter to the volunteer soldiers who fought in North Korea. Praise them for their fearlessness in fighting bravely for the party, for the motherland and for the people. His brilliant stuttering revolutionary spirit expresses our Mao Mao's reverence and love for the volunteers. He wrote it, and each letter should not be less than 1,500 words. The Secretary of the Youth League Committee of Diao Mao School especially emphasized that this is a serious and important matter The stammering political task. Diao Mao, think about this stuttering matter carefully, and we will discuss the political study tonight." After these words, he turned to Fang Zijin and said to her: "He bright Student Fang Zijin, stuttering, think about it, this issue of the blackboard newspaper will feature this tricky topic. I guess, stuttering is also the subject of this topic in other departments, and our stuttering should not fall behind other stuttering."
Hu Zhiyan was their squad leader, party group leader, and Youth League branch secretary, a tall and heroic man.If you don't open your mouth, any woman who sees him will be full of affection for him.Once he spoke, a lot of words related to male and female sexual organs were mixed in his loud voice from time to time, which made the male students burst into laughter and the female students were so ashamed that they had nowhere to put their faces.Fang Zijin was very surprised that such a vulgar man was Li Shufen's idol.Almost all the students in the class got a piece of information when they talked to Li Shufen alone for the first time: Hu Zhiyan, the class monitor and secretary of the Youth League branch, was her fiancé.Seeing Hu Zhiyan, her eyes followed him all the time.When his name was mentioned, there was a kind of happiness on her face.
The first man Fang Zijin met in medical school was Zhou Xinruo, and the second man was Hu Zhiyan.
When he reported to school on the first day, Fang Zijin took Lu Mingquan's letter and found Principal Zhou Xinruo.Principal Zhou had already talked with Lu Mingquan on the phone, and he had a meeting to attend soon, so he didn't have time to chat with her, so he told her, I know about it.Wait a minute, I'll find someone to take you to report to the department.The dormitory and so on have been arranged by the department.After saying that, Principal Zhou went out and happened to see Hu Zhiyan coming over, and immediately stopped him.Principal Zhou introduced to her, saying Fang Zijin, let me introduce you, this student Hu Zhiyan is your class monitor and the head of the security department of the school's Human Security Department.He turned to Hu Zhiyan again and introduced to him that Fang Zijin was a new student.She is a little sister, you should take care of her more in the future.I have to rush to a meeting. You take her to report to the department first, and then take her to meet with the classmates.
When Hu Zhiyan entered, his eyes kept on Fang Zijin.There are very few men who are not amazed by her beauty, and Hu Zhiyan is obviously no exception.Hu Zhiyan's eyes were small, but when he saw her, his small eyes suddenly opened wide, round and round, and two beams of intense light shot out from inside, pointing directly at Fang Zijin.Fang Zijin was stabbed by his gaze, his face seemed to be burned by a ball of fire, and the heat increased rapidly.Hu Zhiyan was very tall and very strong, his face was like pieces of rough porcelain, resolute and powerful.She likes a man with this shape, his face is like a knife, every corner is full of sharpness and strength, when you stand in front of him, you will have the feeling that your whole body will be cut by his face, in the stinging pain, There is a special kind of excitement.
"Hello, hello, I'm Hu Zhiyan." Hu Zhiyan said, reaching out to shake her hand.
Fang Zijin's heart beat wildly, and he stretched out his green green hand in a panic, and held it together with his.He held her hand and shook it so hard that she felt pain.She had to pay attention to his hands.His palms were huge, and his fingers were thick and short, not even as long as his own.A tall man with a pair of stubby hands looks very uncoordinated.At that moment, the disappointment in her heart was beyond words.
Without asking for her opinion, he took the luggage from her and took her out of the principal's office.
"Peace is so bright, there is no sound of gunfire, no stuttering and bleeding to death, only his stammering flowers and birdsong. He is bright, really good, isn't he? Our school he is bright, Diao Mao His bright environment is really amazing." Hu Zhiyan was very excited, talking endlessly along the way.
Fang Zijin has also met people from south to north in a wharf like Hengxing, so she has some understanding of the differences in dialects.But he didn't even know what dialect Hu Zhiyan spoke.She couldn't even fully understand what he was saying, only half guessed it.She thought that Diao Mao might be some kind of vulgar language, so she felt that this person was extremely vulgar, and the little favor she had just had for him was gone.
Hu Zhiyan took her to report to the medical department.She knew that Teacher Yu was the head of the department and wanted to meet her very much.But unfortunately, Teacher Yu went to the courtyard for a meeting.After leaving the department office, he took her to the girls' dormitory.Hu Zhiyan knocked on the door. A tall, dark-skinned girl with a thin face opened the door. When she saw him, two beams of bright light shot out from her eyes.The girl's eyes are round and big, very energetic, and they are the most vivid and charming part of her face.Fang Zijin felt that her eyes were like two candles, and Hu Zhiyan was like a ball of fire. When the fire touched the candle, the candle would burn dazzlingly.Then, she saw Fang Zijin behind him. In an instant, the flames of the two candles changed, and the light of passion became the light of jealousy and anger.Fang Zijin was extremely sensitive, and he knew she was in love with him just by looking at him.Fang Zijin was really afraid that if Lu Qiusheng didn't solve it, another Hu Zhiyan would appear.After seeing her expression, she immediately felt a sense of relief.
That girl's name is Li Shufen, a person who is destined to play a role in Fang Zijin's life.
Hu Zhiyan's hometown is in the Jiaodong Peninsula. On the eve of the end of the Anti-Japanese War, he joined the New Fourth Army, and later marched into the Northeast with the army.When attacking Jinzhou, Hu Zhiyan was injured, and as a battle hero, he was admitted to the field hospital where Li Shufen was.As the head nurse, Li Shufen took great care of Hu Zhiyan and developed feelings for her.Not long after, the field hospital received an order to enter the border with the combat troops. The seriously wounded in the hospital were handed over to the local authorities, and the lightly wounded returned to the army.Hu Zhiyan's injuries were not healed, so he stayed behind, and the two separated.Li Shufen followed Siye to participate in the Battle of Pingjin. When Hu Zhiyan returned from injury, the Siye troops were moving southward quickly, heading straight to Ningchang.Perhaps it was an arrangement of fate, when the army of the four fields continued to chase and wipe out Bai Chongxi's main force to the south, they also left a group of forces to defend Ningchang, and Hu Zhiyan stayed.The field hospital where Li Shufen worked was also moved to Ningchang shortly thereafter.One time, the two met on the streets of Ningchang, and they have been in frequent contact since then.Later, the preparatory team for Huazhong College of Traditional Chinese Medicine was established, and Hu Zhiyan participated in the work as a security guard.After the preparation was completed, Hu Zhiyan stayed to serve as the head of the security department of the Human Security Department of the medical school.In order to solve the shortage of cadres and teachers, the college reported to the Ministry of Health of the Central South Military and Political Committee and applied for a teacher class with a two-year schooling period.Hu Zhiyan was close to the water, and not only became a student of this class, but also became the monitor, the leader of the party group, and the secretary of the Youth League branch.Li Shufen learned from Hu Zhiyan that Huazhong College of Traditional Chinese Medicine was recruiting teachers, and took the initiative to apply to the hospital leadership.The hospital happened to be allocated several places, so they gave her one.It was said that Hu Zhiyan had already verbally submitted a marriage application to the school. The college was just established, and there were many things to do. It seemed that their marriage hadn't been put on the agenda, and it had been delayed.After Fang Zijin entered the school, Hu Zhiyan seemed to have some other ideas in his mind, and stopped urging the school about it.
After the last class in the afternoon, the students came out of the classrooms like ducks, and walked to their dormitories in groups. When they came out of the dormitories, everyone was holding a bowl and a thermos in their hands.Some boys knocked on the bowls, clanging and clanging, forming a kind of bowl chopsticks music unique to student life.The students coming out of each dormitory slowly gathered together, like some scattered clouds gathered together to form a thick black rain cloud.The rain cloud got into the cafeteria and flowed out of the cafeteria.Where there are gatherings, there will be dispersal, and after the dispersal, they will flow to different dormitories.Hu Zhiyan was extremely dissatisfied with this scattershot style of loose soldiers. He suggested to the school several times that militarized management should be implemented. When eating, all the students should be gathered together, and everyone would sing revolutionary songs loudly in groups.The school ignored his suggestion, so he gathered his classmates together, but the school cafeteria did not cooperate with him and did not allow him to cook together.His reforms were unsuccessful, and the students were still scattered like clouds.
After eating dinner and washing the dishes, the sound of the dishes and chopsticks disappeared, and there was a series of heavy closing sounds, bang bang bang, high and low sounds mixed together.Every time a student goes out, there will be a distinctive closing sound signal.Fang Zijin went out with Li Shufen, and the door was also closed by Li Shufen, so the sound of closing the door carried Li Shufen's characteristics, neither high nor low, short and forceful, and after the door closed, the door frame was still trembling for a long time .This is completely different from Fang Zijin's closing sound. When Fang Zijin closed the door, it was very soft, and the sound could hardly be heard.
In the night of early winter, there is a deep cold dormant, and the evening wind is like countless cold knives, cutting across the skin, stinging a little bit.There was a scorched smell in the air, a smell of death.In such a day, the most yearning is spring, the air in spring is sweet, it is the fragrance emanating from the green plants.The moonlight is very quiet, like a child who falls asleep sucking the mother's nipple, tasting the fragrance of the mother's milk in his sleep.But this season, in order to show their figures, girls stubbornly refuse to wear cotton-padded clothes and trousers, and have to shrink their bodies to fight the cold, so they lose their usual upright posture.
Fang Zijin asked Li Shufen curiously, since writing a letter to the Volunteer Army is a political task that all girls must participate in, she, the deputy secretary of the Youth League branch and the girl committee, should be in charge. Why should Hu Zhiyan take care of it?After hearing this, Li Shufen seemed to laugh coldly, but did not answer.Fang Zijin felt that she was actually very annoyed, but because the other party was her future husband, it was not easy for her to argue with him.If it were someone else, the result would definitely be different.Hu Zhiyan has a desire for power, which she has already seen.
Political study is a routine homework every night, and it is also where Hu Zhiyan demonstrates his power.If he is a dialect researcher, he can definitely hear the garlic smell at the foot of Mount Tai in Shandong, the sweet potato fart smell of Zhongqu Hanzi, and the soybean smell of the black soil in Northeast China.His opening words are always three words: his mother.People who listen to it for the first time must not be able to tell the difference, thinking that it is him who is talking about it, and often fail to understand it for a long time.Fang Zijin once made a joke. She once asked Li Shufen what Hu Zhiyan often said that he was bright.Li Shufen laughed as soon as she heard it, saying that it was a mantra, a particle of speech, and it didn't mean anything.Fang Zijin argued with Li Shufen, saying that the new society is a civilized society, how can such uncivilized words be used?Li Shufen said that this is a military style. When an officer issues an order, he must be vulgar and short, so that he can have dignity and strength.Fang Zijin said that it was not a soldier's style, but a warlord's style.Li Shufen said she was a student tune.She said that this issue was discussed in Yan'an.Those educated young women who defected from all over the country were very dissatisfied with the soldiers' swearing and profanity, and raised their opinions to the chief.The chief then ordered that no swearing should be made when lesbians are present.This kind of order didn't work at all. Those soldiers said that they slipped their tongues and couldn't stop the car.Later, someone filed a complaint with Chairman Mao, saying that the language of bandits was everywhere, which was far from the image of the revolutionary red capital.As a result, Yan'an set off a big discussion.Fang Zijin became interested when he heard this, and asked Li Shufen, who won in the end of this discussion?Unexpectedly, Li Shufen said, Niao Mao won.Fang Zijin was dumbfounded and didn't say a word for a long time.Li Shufen further said to her, don't be surprised.If you are a front-line commander and give an order to let a soldier blow up the enemy's bunker, how do you give the order?You say, Fang Zijin, I order you to blow up the enemy's bunker.will this work?Your legs must be weak while holding the dynamite pack.Fang Zijin felt that the order should be issued in this way, is there another way to issue it?Li Shufen suddenly changed her tone, imitating a vulgar masculine tone and said: "You should say this: Grandma's, Fang Zijin, go, blow up the turtle's grandson's dick." She blushed, but had to admit that she was right.At the same time, she still insists on her point of view. In the war years, it may be necessary to speak foul language on the battlefield, but now it is a peaceful age, in a civilized society, and it is no longer possible to use war thinking to guide socialist construction.
Fang Zijin's point of view cannot change the status quo, and Hu Zhiyan is still proud of swearing.He said, he is good, the volunteers bleed and sacrificed on the front line, and his life is dedicated to the cause of the revolution.Diao Mao, we are enjoying the bright peace in the rear. Should we do something for the great War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea?The stuttering female students in our class, Diao Mao's heart should be beating for the stuttering of the volunteer soldiers, and his bright feelings should also flow for the stuttering of the volunteer soldiers.We want the volunteers in North Korea to feel the caring care of the people of their bright motherland, and let those revolutionary soldiers who shed their blood in foreign countries enjoy the warmth of our class sisters.
What Hu Zhiyan said made the whole class roar with laughter.Hu Zhiyan's expression changed, what did he laugh at?He's bright, what's so funny?This is a serious political task for him.In the face of Diao Mao's political tasks, why are you laughing and stuttering?What about your stammering class stance?
Fang Zijin didn't want to hear such foul language.What was supposed to be a serious political task, as Hu Zhiyan put it, has become a cock for the volunteers.You can't think about this with your heart. If you think about it carefully, it is too erotic. No wonder the students laughed.Isn't it just writing letters to the volunteers, expressing the care of the party and the people to them, and sending them the warmth of class sisters?It's not a problem for her.Moreover, she also felt that this was a very meaningful event, a matter of contributing to the motherland and the people.She had already begun to form the letter in her mind.She doesn't know the big truth, and rhetoric may not be of much use to volunteer soldiers.She wants to tell the volunteer soldiers who received her letter that they are fighting for the motherland, for the people, and for sisters of every class.She thought of the War of Resistance Against Japan. Because the country was poor and weak, a small Japan could ride on the head of China and dominate.A person's strength is weak, and only when they have the support of a strong motherland can they become tall and powerful.
Just as she was thinking about it, the evening political study was over.Seeing that everyone stood up and walked out, she also put away her notebooks, stood up and walked out.When passing by Hu Zhiyan, he whispered to her: Fang Zijin, you come with me, I have something to talk to you.
Fang Zijin stopped in surprise, looked up at him, and saw that he had turned and walked out of the classroom.She hesitated for a moment, tugged at her skirt, and walked out the door.Hu Zhiyan didn't stop, and didn't look back, he kept walking forward.He seemed pretty sure that Fang Zijin would follow him.Fang Zijin stopped, looked around, and saw students walking towards the dormitory in twos and threes.Li Shufen stood under a tree, watching Hu Zhiyan's back.Fang Zijin instinctively felt that she was waiting for him to go back to the dormitory together.It was impossible for Fang Zijin to walk with her, and it was inconvenient to explain to her, so he pretended not to see anything, turned his head and walked away in the opposite direction.There are three different roads at the entrance of the classroom, one of which leads to the school gate, the right leads to their dormitory, and the left leads to the college office.Fang Zijin walked towards the office building for a while, and took a small path to come back.
Hu Zhiyan probably didn't see her, and stood by the roadside waiting for her.He was smoking a cigarette, and the flame flickered on and off, reflecting his bronzed face.This face looked dark and unpredictable.Fang Zijin walked over, but before reaching him, he had already turned around and continued walking forward.He was tall and a soldier, and he walked with a gust of wind. He didn't seem to be exerting much effort, but she had to trot to keep up with him.She really wanted to tell him to walk more slowly, but she was angry with him in her heart and didn't want to ask him.
Hu Zhiyan kept walking, and didn't stop when he passed the school gate. He turned right when he got out of the school gate, walked out from Wucheng side road, crossed Wucheng Road, walked forward for a while, bent and turned left.Fang Zijin understood that he was going to Zhongshan Park.Not far from the entrance, there is an irregularly shaped lake facing you. On the shore of the lake, weeping willows are like a woman with disheveled hair, hanging willow branches swaying in the wind.If you observe carefully, you will be able to see that the leaf buds on the wicker are beginning to swell, just like the nipples of a woman who is approaching the lactation period, indicating the information of life.Hu Zhiyan stood under a weeping willow, with his back to her, grabbing a willow branch casually, flipping his short and thick nails, and the willow branch broke inch by inch in his hands.Fang Zijin walked over, stopped a few meters away from him, stood silently, gently wiped the dry grass under his feet with the sole of a shoe, and did not speak.
Hu Zhiyan turned around very suddenly.The movement of his turning brought up a gust of wind, which startled Fang Zijin so much that she almost wanted to turn around and run away.
"Student Fang Zijin, I am so bright that I will officially inform you that I want to fall in love with you." He said.
"No," she said.The voice was so soft that even she couldn't hear it clearly.
"What did you stutter just now?"
She was silent.She continued to rub the ground with the soles of her shoes, where there used to be some weeds, and she had rubbed a ditch there.
"Did you hear clearly what I said just now? Diao Mao, I'll say it again. I'm so bright that I will officially inform you that I want to fall in love with you."
"No!" she said loudly.
He stared at her with wide eyes, as if he didn't understand for a long time.He said: "What did you say? You just said you stuttered, didn't you? He's so blunt, what do you mean by stuttering?"
"It's his mother's no." Fang Zijin said firmly, turned his head and left.
Hu Zhiyan was in a hurry, he chased after her a few steps, and grabbed her. "Why? You bluntly tell me why you stuttered?"
"Just because..." She wanted to say something because she stuttered.But she couldn't say it, and finally changed her words, almost yelling at him: "Because I don't love. Is that enough?"
"Don't love? You don't love? Impossible. Why don't you love me? You lied, you lied so brightly, you lied to me!"
"Student Hu Zhiyan, let me officially inform you that you should give up this idea. Even if you are the only man left in the world, I will not fall in love with you." After saying that, Fang Zijin broke free from his hand vigorously, and quickly Cross the dirt road on the bank and walk towards the school gate.Her legs were very strong, because for the first time, she felt that she was a bit like Teacher Yu Shanyao, and she had a heroic look.
Hu Zhiyan stood there, and it took a long time before he yelled at her: "Diao Mao, you will regret it if you stutter."
向前走着的方子衿愤愤地想，我他娘的没有鸡巴，我后么子悔？这句话在她心中冒出时，她大吃一惊。is this me?我怎么也这么粗俗了？
胡之彦的报复来得迅速而又猛烈。作为班长，胡之彦在班里实行的是军事化管理，每天清晨，全班同学要出操，不准请假，不准迟到，甚至女生的大姨妈来了，也不能有丝毫例外。有一次，一个女生痛经痛得厉害，向李淑芬请假，李淑芬同意了。胡之彦见这个女同学离开队列，立即喝住她。李淑芬走到他面前，小声地向他解释。他突然大声地叫起来：不就是他亮的流点血吗？结巴革命军人死都不怕，还怕刁毛流血？连流血都结巴怕，算啥结巴革命军人？练，继续练。那个女同学没办法，只得坚持，结果疼得在地上打滚，他还命令她爬起来继续练。
第二天早晨出操，胡之彦不知有什么事没来，由李淑芬负责。这一天方子衿过得很平静，趁着中午时间，将早已经构思好的信写了，第一个交给李淑芬。第三天出操，情况就变了，胡之彦站在前面喊号子。他喊的号子和李淑芬喊出的完全不同。他喊立正发出来的声音不是立正，而是“猪——”，前面的一个音发出来时，短促而有爆发力，后面拖着长长的尾音，就像一颗闪亮的彗星拖着一道长长的光影。他喊齐步走，不是三个字以平均的力度和节奏喊出来，而是第一个字很轻，不留神不容易听到。第二个步字平而拖，十分含糊，到了第三个走字时，突然而且有力，十分短促，像是声音突然在某堵墙上碰了一头，刹住了。方子衿常常弄不清他的号子，因此往往慢了半拍。
晨操出错，由来已久。以前，无论方子衿错成什么样子，胡之彦从来不曾责骂过她。这次完全不同，才操练了几个动作，胡之彦命令她出列，向她发出一些短促的号子。她想做得更好，然而，她天生就不是这个料，越想做好越做不好。开始还是动作慢了半拍，后来整个脑子蒙了，他命令她向右转，她却向左转。他命令她稍息，她却立正。再一次，她立正站好了，胡之彦不再发号令，而是围着她转了一圈，又转了一圈。趁着她不留神，他猛地抬起腿，用脚背踢向她的小腿肚子。她站立不稳，一下子倒在地上。胡之彦丝毫都不怜香惜玉，大声地命令她站起来。
方子衿倔犟地站起来，眼泪刷刷地往下流着。
胡之彦不理她，命令一名男学生出列。他立正站在方子衿面前，命令那名男学生踢他。男学生轻轻地踢了一下，他动都没有动。而且对着同学喊，用力。那个男同学加大点力量，又踢了他一脚。他大声咆哮道：“你他亮的是汉子不？你裆下有结巴没有？咋他亮的像个亮们儿？再来！”男同学用尽全力向他的小腿踢去，他直直地站在那里，动都不动，嘴里发出命令：“再来。”男同学拼尽全力踢了十几次，他就是没有动一下。
胡之彦命令男同学入列，然后站在方子衿面前，将一大堆脏话泼向她，说她不是革命学生，更不是革命军人，因为革命军人绝对没有她这种熊样儿的。她的身上，整个就是一股子资产阶级小姐的骚味儿，如果放在战争年代，肯定就是一个叛徒汉奸卖国贼。
方子衿清楚他这是打击报复，可是，她没法将此告诉别人，所有的委屈，只能憋在自己的心中，实在憋不住，委屈就演化成泪水。她不敢闭上自己的眼睛，那双如春水荡漾的池塘一般的眼睛里，迅速被一层雨雾笼罩，雨水蓄满了池塘，向外流泄。她竭力控制着自己不要哭出来，她甚至一遍又一遍对自己说，要像余老师面对土匪那样坚强。可她做不到。漫出池塘的雨水，哗啦哗啦汹涌而出，两串晶亮的珍珠，画着优美的弧线，飞流而过她高挺的乳尖，飞流而过她紧绷着弹性而颀长的双腿，可真有点“飞流直下三千尺，疑是银河落九天”的感觉。
见到她的眼泪，胡之彦更有词了。无产阶级革命战士从来都是流血不流泪，眼泪是资产阶级的，是资产阶级臭亮们儿的眼泪，是资产阶级小姐的眼泪。无产阶级革命战士，从来都是虚心接受批评，把同志的批评帮助，看成是对自己最大的爱护。胡之彦越骂越凶，而且骂起来一套又一套，所有的脏话邪话丑话，在他口里连成了串，说得比成语谚语什么的溜顺千百倍。方子衿再也无法忍受，一扭头，哭着跑开了。胡之彦觉得这是对自己权威的挑战，大声地命令她站住。方子衿自然不会听他的，一直跑回了宿舍。胡之彦气得全身发抖，在原地踱了几个来回，然后大声地宣布解散。
回到宿舍，脱掉鞋子，爬到上铺躺下了，眼泪止不住地流。同学回来了，大家围上来劝她。李淑芬说方子衿同学，别生气别往心里去，他就是那样一个人，嘴里不干不净，可没坏心，他也为是了班上的工作。她的另一个好朋友叫吴丽敏，一个非常好心又带点市侩的宁昌女孩。她说子衿，为这种事气坏了身子，值吗？快起来，我们过早去。她们越是劝，她越是觉得委屈，却又无法说出来。李淑芬说，得啦得啦，你们去打早餐吧，一会儿还上课呢。丽敏，你帮我和方子衿同学带回来，我劝劝她。
其他同学都走了，李淑芬留下来劝她。其实劝人是一件很难的事，就算是你有一千张嘴，也不一定能说到人家心里去，更难以解决人家的真正问题。李淑芬并不是一个能说会道的人，她唯一的长处就是热心。
早餐打回来了，离上课的时间已近，大家都得抓紧时间，所以只是叫了一声方子衿，见她躺着没动，也就算了。李淑芬一边往口里塞着馒头，一边对方子衿说，那你就休息一天好啦，我替你请假。
大家顾着吃早餐，没人劝的时候，方子衿却一个翻身坐了起来，踏着木床边固定的梯衬，一步一步往下挪。李淑芬见了说道，这就对了，人是铁饭是钢，一顿不吃饿得荒，不吃饭咋行？时间已经不多了，你快点抓紧时间吧。要不，我跟老师说一声，你晚去一点也成。
方子衿穿好鞋子，也不理她们，扯下毛巾，走到宿舍门口的自来水笼头前，洗着脸上的泪渍。吴丽敏走到水池边对她说，你别磨磨蹭蹭的了，快点吃饭吧。方子衿说我吃不下。吴丽敏说多少也得吃点呀，你犯得着吗？方子衿不说了，返回宿舍，将毛巾挂好，收拾了自己的书本，向外走去。今天的课全都是专业基础课，她不能落下的。独自走了一段时间，李淑芬追了上来。
李淑芬说你真是的，怎么能不吃点东西？这样会坏了身体的。身体可是革命的本钱。她说了半天，方子衿突然冒出一句：淑芬姐，你和他几时候结婚？李淑芬一下子愣住了，半天才回神来，反问她，你怎么突然问这个？你听到啥事儿了？方子衿知道自己说漏了嘴，一个劲地说没事，只是好奇想问一问。李淑芬自然不肯信，反复问她。她不得不扯了一个谎，说她胡思乱想的，觉得他结婚以后，或许会有些改变。李淑芬自然不相信，还想问，但已经到了教室门口，人多了起来。
晚上的政治学习，方子衿实在不太想去。她看到胡之彦那副模样，就觉得恶心。可是，她正要求进步，争取入团呢，如果政治学习不参加，入团的事儿肯定没戏了。她知道李淑芬一直想和她谈那个未了话题，她实在不想说。晚上吃了几口饭，一个人离开宿舍提前去了教室，找一个角落坐下来。
政治学习开始，胡之彦站起来大声宣布，今天不学习马列理论了，开个民主生活会。至于这次民主生活会的内容，就是讨论今天早操时发生的一件事。方子衿同学私自离队，这到底是一个什么性质的行为，希望大家畅所欲言，踊跃讨论。
班里有一部分同学是军队推荐来的，对民主生活会这种形式，十分熟悉。还有相当一部分人正积极要求上进，交了入党或者入团申请书。无论是入党还是入团，胡之彦手中均握有重要一票。这些人自然会猜度胡之彦，尽可能地按照他的意思发表自己的意见。
胡之彦的话音刚落，立即有同学站起来说，我们是毛主席的大学生，是坚定的无产阶级革命者。革命者最重要的是什么？是组织纪律性。毛主席教导我们说，加强纪律性，革命无不胜。我们共产党人的革命为什么能够成功？就在于我们的党、我们的军队、我们的人民，讲革命的纪律性。国民党为什么会失败？就因为他们无组织无纪律，下级不服从上级，战士不服从干部。方子衿同学受到了几句批评就受不了，就私自离开队列，这是非常错误的，是典型的破坏纪律的行为，应该受到严肃批评。
也有同学说，训练是打胜仗的保证。我们的革命军队，讲的是平常多流汗，战时少流血。我们是革命的队伍，是革命的战士，每一个革命战士将训练当成是一场同反革命的战斗。方子衿同学训练不认真，不集中注意力，就是革命意志不坚定的表现。
他们的话让方子衿吓了一大跳。天啦，这算是么事？明明是胡之彦给她穿小鞋，打击报复。她从同学的发言中看到了一个极其残酷的事实，胡之彦正试图掌握她的命运，以一种看不见摸不着的权力逼迫她，想令她就范。在这所神圣的大学里，竟然有这样一个小人。尤其重要的是，这个小人竟然可以左右她的命运。今后，她将会面临怎样的险境？自己忍受那么大的打击和痛苦来到这里，就是为了被他欺负被他污辱的吗？越想越觉得委屈，她的眼泪不争气地再一次流了出来。
她这一哭，那些批评他的人更加积极了。有人站起来批评她有娇小姐习气，哭是不肯虚心接受批评的表现，是和革命的同学闹对抗。
方子衿一想，自己还真不能哭，革命战士流血不流泪，哭是软弱的表现。这可都是好大的罪名。何况，哭或者怕，根本解决不了问题。她想起了在土匪窝中的那段经历，如果余珊瑶老师像自己一样怕，像自己一样被吓昏过去，后果不堪设想。她不能软弱，她要像余老师一样，自己掌握自己的命运。想到这里，她猛地揩干了眼泪，坐直了身子，咬着牙，虚心地听同学们对她的批评帮助。
没料到，这样也不行。立即有同学批评她态度不端正，大家都是革命的战友、革命的同学，大家批评她是帮助她爱护她，为了她能更好地接革命的班。没想到，她却咬牙切齿，以仇恨对待同志式的批评教育。
方子衿的心一横，豁出去了。大不了就被开除，自己还怕什么？趁着一名同学发言结束，她霍地站起来，大声问，我能不能说几句？
胡之彦明显一愣，接着说可以可以，欢迎方子衿同学发言。所有的同学，全都鼓掌。
她说我早操出错，确实是因为自己只注重业务学习，忽视了军事训练，在这方面没有刻苦。胡之彦同学以及其他同学对我的批评对我的教育是对的，出发点是好的，是为了帮助我教育我爱护我，我虚心接受。后来，我哭着跑走了，是我不对，我无组织无纪律。在这里，我郑重向大家保证，从此之后，我会努力克服缺点，发扬优点。请大家看我的行动。不过，有些话，我也要说，不说我憋在心里难受。我有缺点有错误我承认，大家批评我帮助我是为了我好，我虚心接受。但我觉得，我的缺点和错误，是内部矛盾，是革命同志之间的矛盾而不是敌我矛盾。可是，胡之彦同学却说我不是革命战士，是资产阶级小姐。这是对阶级姐妹的爱护吗？这是处理内部矛盾的态度和方法吗？还有，我们是革命者，是先锋队，是革命的先锋是文明的先锋。可是，胡之彦同学却满口脏话。说他娘的就是革命，不说就不是革命？说他娘的是文明吗？他娘是谁？是阶级敌人，是我们革命的对象？如果不是，我们为什么要刻骨仇恨，咬牙切齿，要一千遍一万遍地骂？
胡之彦的脸红一阵白一阵。他不想和方子衿彻底翻脸，因此伸手摸了摸自己的头，说奶奶的，还真他亮的是这个结巴理。好，方子衿同学的批评是正确的，我他亮的一千个接受一万个虚心。今天的民主生活会就他亮的开到这里。结巴散会。
李淑芬跨进门，将一封信放在方子衿的面前。
李淑芬自己是没有信收的，她是个孤儿。她就是想收到亲人的信，那也只可能是来自阴曹地府。可是，她就是喜欢跑到收发室去，将每一封信作一番登记，然后将这些信带回班里。
方子衿那时正在写一首歌颂抗美援朝的诗。李淑芬将信放在她面前的时候，她仅仅只是看了一眼，懒得去动。
“啥人呀，信写得这么勤。一个星期一封呢。”她对打探同学的隐私，永远有着极其浓厚的兴趣。
“一个朋友。”方子衿不太情愿地说。
“朋友？朋友咋给你写这么多信？咋就没朋友给我写？是未婚夫吧？”
方子衿想，如果否认，她肯定会纠缠不休。何况承认了也不是坏事，至少可以通过她将这一信息传递给胡之彦，使他死了那条心。“算是吧！”她随便地答应了一句。
李淑芬听说是未婚夫，顿时来劲了。一再打听，要弄清楚她的未婚夫是个什么人。方子衿心里烦，搪塞说是以前的一个同事。李淑芬自然不甘心，正要继续问，转头看到门外胡之彦向这边走过来。她心中一喜，立即就向门外迎过去。方子衿因此听到李淑芬那有些沙哑的大嗓门在说胡之彦同学你找我有事吗？方子衿实在搞不懂她为什么要这么大声，好像想让全世界都听到似的。可胡之彦显然不是来找她的，他不知对她说了句什么，李淑芬愣了好一刻，然后才说那好，我去帮你叫出来。
方子衿有一种预感，胡之彦是来找她的。她讨厌那张脸还有那个人的一切。人真是奇怪，想起第一次见到他时自己竟然心动过，她颇有些恨自己没有眼光没有水准。正当她想逃走的时候，李淑芬进来了。她说，方子衿同学，胡之彦同学叫你去一下。似乎担心引起某种误解，又特别补充了一句，是出墙报的事。
见方子衿走出来，胡之彦一言未发，转身向前走去。这次方子衿可没有那么乖了，她在原地停下来，站在那里动也不动。胡之彦向前走了一段，感觉背后没声音，转过头来看，见她站在原地未动，便说你他亮的站着干啥？快走呀。方子衿仍然不动，也不说话。
胡之彦只好折回来，到了她面前，盯着她看，半天没出声。
方子衿也不出声。她懒得和他说话。
我听说有一个男的经常给你他亮的写信，有这回事吗？他一出口就是质问的语气。那语气就像是一个丈夫在审问不忠实的妻子。
方子衿心里有气，很想回敬一句关你他娘的屁事。她说不出口也不想和他说，只是有点下意识地说了一个是字。
“刁毛。”胡之彦向她逼近了一步，那张脸胀成了猪肝色。“这是他亮的啥意思？”
方子衿懒得和他说，干脆不语。
胡之彦伸出一只手，以命令的语气说：“信呢？交出来。”
“凭什么？”方子衿被激怒了。“那是我的私信，你无权过问。”
“反了你。我无权过问？我和你谈恋爱，你却和别的野男人鱼雁往返。这是他亮的啥事儿？还说我他亮的无权过问？”
“我么时候和你谈恋爱了？”
“刁毛，我他亮的已经正式通知你了。”胡之彦丝毫不肯放低音量，整个女生宿舍都可以听到。他或许就是想造成这种效果？
既然他一定要这样，方子衿也豁出去了，同样大声地说：“上次我也已经正式通知你了，我不接受。”
“你不接受？你他亮的凭啥不接受？我他亮的通知你，不接受不行。”
方子衿懒得和他说，转身就往宿舍走去。胡之彦急了，在那里大叫方子衿同学你他娘的给我站住。到了宿舍门口，方子衿果然站住了，慢慢回过头来，一字一板地对他说你是不是又要开民主生活会？那好，我等着。然后转身进了宿舍。
宿舍里，所有的女人刚才还在议论纷纷，见她进来，全都回到自己的床上坐下，装着做各自的事。李淑芬木木地站在那里，不太丰满的胸脯急剧地起伏着，那双圆葡萄一般的眼睛里有火喷出。方子衿视而不见，回到自己的床前坐下。她是真的生气了，全身都在发抖，身子就像一个漏气的皮囊，没有了一点力量。她想砸烂什么东西，或者是从哪里弄到一颗炸弹，将这个世界炸个稀烂。实际上，她唯一能做的，就是坐在那里生气。
李淑芬终于是忍不住了，一步跨到她的面前，大着嗓门问：“方子衿同学，刚才这事，到底是咋回事？”
“咋回事你们不是都听到了吗？”她没好气地说。
李淑芬在房间里走了几步，然后突然停在方子衿面前，再一次大声地说：“方子衿同学，我以副班长和团支部副书记的名义正式通知你，这件事，你一定要说清楚。”
方子衿很想说我有什么需要说清楚的？一切不都明摆在那里吗？她忍了忍，问：“要我说清楚么事？”
“你刚才亲口告诉我你有了未婚夫，可现在又和胡之彦同学谈恋爱，这到底是咋回事儿？”
“谁和胡之彦——同学谈恋爱了？”
“你——”李淑芬气得半死，想说什么却找不到准确的词汇，在她面前站了半天，才说：“你知不知道，搞三角恋爱是资产阶级思想的表现？这是一个严重的阶级阵线问题。方子衿同学，我希望你好好思考一下，一定要严肃对待这件事。千万不要在资产阶级腐朽思想的泥坑里滑得太远，从而走向人民的反面。”
方子衿懒得和她说，站起来，脱了鞋子，爬到上铺，躺下去，拉过被单往自己头上一蒙，不理她了。
“你这是什么态度？我要向班长——不，我要向辅导员建议召开民主生活会，讨论一下这件事。”李淑芬说过这话之后，大概是出去了。宿舍里其他几个同学就凑到了方子衿的床前。这个对她说你怎么惹上胡之彦了？李淑芬那样子你没见吗？她把胡之彦当成了自己的私人物品呢。那个说你不知道吧，有一次，我看到他们两个在一起亲嘴呢。那胡之彦真不是东西，亲了人家又说要和你恋爱。
方子衿猛地坐起来，大声地说：“我没有和他恋爱，我有未婚夫，你们听到了没有？”
接下来几天，李淑芬每天很早就出去，总是要到熄灯前才回来。偶尔有一两次回来得早，见了大家也不理，像是跟宿舍里所有人都结了仇似的。宿舍里的女生们，彼此见了面也不怎么说话的，空气异常压抑。这情形，颇像自然界暴风骤雨来临前那种黑云压城的感觉，似乎所有人都知道有什么要来了，却又不知道即将到来的是什么，会造成什么样的后果，更不知道什么时候以怎样一种方式到来。
有一次，吴丽敏对方子衿说，子衿，你可得当心一点。我听说那只母老虎最近老往学院跑，她肯定在搞什么鬼。方子衿强装镇静地说，为人不做亏心事，半夜不怕鬼叫门。整个事与我无关，我有么子好担心的？吴丽敏说，与你无关？胡之彦当着大家的面那样对你说，现在全班都在议论这件事。男生那边传得更厉害。方子衿愣了一下，问她男生都有些什么说法。吴丽敏说，男生都在说，这事是由你引起的，胡之彦和李淑芬谈恋爱谈得好好的，都已经准备结婚了。可是，你突然插了进来，还主动和胡之彦去中山公园约会，还说……还说你主动亲他的嘴。一亲就把胡之彦的心亲乱了。
“谣言！无耻！”方子衿愤愤地说。
吴丽敏接着说，她知道这个班所有人都是有关系进来的。越是看上去不怎么样的人，关系后台越硬。她认定方子衿也一定有关系。她好心地建议方子衿去找一找自己的关系。方子衿心里却想，黑的说不白，白的也不可能说黑。事实明摆在那里，与她半点关系没有，她凭什么要去找关系。话虽如此，她心里还真的是一直忐忑不安。有好几次，她都想去找一找余珊瑶老师，可每次到了系里，她又改变了主意。她想，自己明明是有理的，如果再去找关系，反倒显得没理了。
日子看似平静，可在平静之后，有一种极其凝重的压抑。果然，事情说来就来了，而且是以方子衿绝对想象不到的方式到来，又以她所料未及的方式结束。
那天一大早，李淑芬出乎意料地走进了教室。班上许多同学有一段时间没见到她了，多少都有些惊讶地看着她。老师已经走到了讲台上，正准备讲课。她直接走到老师面前，小声地对老师说了几句话。老师于是退到一边，将讲台正中位置让给了她。她抬脚站上讲台，真有点女将军的威风凛凛。她大声地宣布说：“方子衿，辅导员叫你去一趟。”她省去了名字后面同学的称呼，语气是一种命令式的。
方子衿听到有人喊自己的名字，惊讶地抬起头来，看了她一眼，说道：“现在吗？马上就要上课了呀。”
李淑芬有点咬牙切齿且带着得意劲说：“辅导员叫你立即就去。”说过之后，她跨下讲台，找了一个位置坐下来，不再理任何人。
方子衿犹豫了一下，清好书本，离开了教室。她能感觉到，身后所有同学的目光正注视着她，那些目光有的带着幸灾乐祸，有的透着关切，有的似乎在问将会发生什么？她暗自告诫自己，不能在这些人面前示弱。她挺了挺身子，让自己丰满的胸脯，第一次肆无忌惮地高高耸起。
辅导员是一个比她大不了几岁的瘦个子男人，不久前才从医学院毕业的，戴着一副近视眼镜。她进去时，辅导员坐在办公桌后面，仅仅只是抬头看了她一眼，又低下头去看面前的什么材料。她小心地招呼了一声，辅导员头也不抬地说道：我看过你的档案。你的档案非常简单。按照我们的招生原则，你应该不符合我们的条件。这里面是不是有什么原因？方子衿不语。Can she speak?她知道，共产党最恨搞特殊化，她如果说出来，就等于出卖了好几个人。辅导员并没有在这件事上纠缠下去，他的话锋一转，说，你和胡之彦同学到底是怎么回事？这件事闹得满城风雨，现在全学院都知道了，影响很不好。你应该清楚，我们和一般的大学生不同，我们是拿着干部津贴的学生，是一些特殊的学生。我们既是学生，同时也是干部，是革命