Chapter 35 Chapter Thirty-Five

I hardly know how we got through that day.Stroeve couldn't stand being alone, and I myself was exhausted trying to find ways to distract him.I took him to the Louvre, and he pretended to be looking at paintings, but I could see that his thoughts were not leaving his wife for a moment.I forced him to eat something, and after lunch I advised him to lie down and rest, but he didn't fall asleep at all.He would gladly accept my invitation to come to my apartment for a few days, and I would give him some books to read, but after a page or two he would put them down and stare at the sky in misery.In the evenings we played numerous rounds of pickle.In order not to let my efforts go to waste and make me feel disappointed, he forced himself to play as if he was enjoying himself.Finally, I gave him a sip of sleeping potion, and although he was restless, he finally fell asleep.

When we went to the hospital again, we found a nurse who told us that Blanche seemed to be improving a bit.Then she went into the ward and asked the patient if he would like to see her husband, we heard voices in the room where she lived, and after a while the nurse came out and told us that the patient didn't want to see anyone.We had told the nurse beforehand that if she refused to see Dirk, we would ask her if she would like to see me, but she refused to see me either.Dirk's lips trembled. "I dare not push too much," said the nurse. "She is too weak. Maybe in a day or two she will change her mind."

"Is there anyone else she wants to see?" Dirk asked, his voice low enough to be almost a whisper. "She said she just wanted to be alone." Dilker's hands moved strangely, as if his hands had nothing to do with his body, but they were shaking unconsciously. "Can you go and tell her that if she wants to see anyone else, I'll bring him? I just want her to be happy." The nurse looked at him with her peaceful, kind eyes, which had been used to all the fear and pain in the world, but were also filled with the illusion of a world without sin, so they remained peaceful and serene.

"I'll tell her when she calms down a bit." Filled with pity and love, Dirk begged the nurse to bring this message to Blanche immediately. "It may cure her, I beg you to ask now." With a sympathetic smile, the nurse turned and walked into the ward again.We heard her muffled voice, and then I heard an unidentifiable voice answer: "No, no, no." The nurse came out again and shook her head. "Was it her who spoke just now?" I asked. "Why does her voice sound so strange?" "It's as if her vocal cords were burned out with oxalic acid."

Dirk let out a suppressed wail.I let him go first and wait for me at the entrance of the hospital because I still want to say a few words to the nurse.He didn't ask any questions and walked away without saying a word.He seems to have lost all willpower, like an obedient child. "Did she ever tell you why she did it?" I asked. "No, she didn't want to talk, she lay quietly on her back and didn't move for hours. But she kept crying and the pillow was soaked. She was too weak to use a handkerchief and let the tears run down her face." Those words made my heartstrings twitch suddenly, and I wanted to kill Strickland immediately, and when I said goodbye to the nurse, I knew my voice was trembling too.

I found Dilko waiting for me on the steps. His eyes were blank, as if he didn't see anything. I didn't notice that I had come to him until I touched his arm.We walked side by side in silence, and I tried to imagine what had happened to compel Blanche to take such a terrible step.I expected that Strickland knew what had happened to Blanche, because he must have been sent for by the police, and he must have made a statement.I don't know where he is now, I guess he's back in the run-down attic that's his studio.It was strange that she did not wish to see him, perhaps she refused to have him called because she knew he would not come.I want to know what kind of cruel abyss she saw, in fear and despair, she did not want to live any longer.