Chapter 146 Letter VIII to Mr. de Walmart

Please enjoy the fruits of your hard work, dear Walmart.Accept the homage of a purified heart, which has lived up to the energy with which you have devoted so much effort.No one ever did what you did; no one tried what you planned; no one's grateful heart felt what you inspired me.My soul has long lost its vitality, its exuberance, and its meaning of existence. It is you who made me regain everything I lost.I once lost faith in virtue and happiness, but thanks to you my spirit has been reborn.O my benefactor!Ah, my father!I dedicate to you my whole being, but, as I dedicate to God, I dedicate to you only what you have bestowed upon me.

Shall I confess to you frankly my weaknesses and timidities?Until now, I have always doubted myself.Just a week ago, I was ashamed of my soul and thought all your work was wasted.That moment was grim and worrisome for virtue: thank God, thank you, it is gone forever.I don't feel healed just because you tell me I've overcome my weakness, but I've felt it myself.I don't need you to vouch for me anymore, because you have enabled me to vouch for myself.I should have left you and her to know what I would be without your support.It was being away from where she lived that I learned not to be afraid to be near her.

I have written to Madame de Olbe with the details of our journey.I will not repeat them here.I would really like to let you know all my weaknesses, but I have not the courage to tell you myself.Dear Walmart, this is my last mistake: but I feel like I've fixed it and I'm immensely proud of it, but it's only been a while so it's hard to admit of.You have repeatedly forgiven my confusion, how can you not forgive my remorse that I am ashamed to express? I am very glad that Mr. Edward has told me all.Dear friend, can I be of service to you?Shall I teach your children for you?Will the eldest teach the other two children?How eagerly I hope it does!I hope I am qualified for this precious job, and I will redouble my efforts to live up to your love for me!How many times have I ventured to express to Julie my eagerness to take up the job!I have often been very happy to interpret your words and hers as approval of my appointment!But although she appreciated my enthusiasm and seemed to approve of it, I found that she did not dare to speak to me formally about it.I feel that I must be worthy of this honor, not force it.Therefore, I am waiting for you and her to show me confidence and esteem.My hope is not wrong, my friends, please believe me, I will not live up to your expectations.

You know, after we've had a few conversations about your children's education, I've written a few thoughts based on the conversations that you've agreed with.Since I left, I have had some new considerations on this question, and I have summarized them into a complete set of educational methods. After I have thought about it carefully, I will tell you so that you can also think carefully.This matter can only be shown to you when we are in Rome, and I hope to complete it.This set of methods is continued after Julie’s education of children is over, or it is the continuation and development of Julie’s method, because its gist is to adapt the people created by nature to society, and at the same time to adapt to society. Protect his nature from dying out.

Because of your care and love, my sanity has been restored: I am healthy and free again, I feel loved by all I love, and a bright future is opening before me, and my future will be Bright, but my heart is doomed never to be at peace.As our trip drew to a close, I saw in it that my friend's trip was a matter of fate, and that I would, so to speak, decide whether it would succeed or fail.Can I do him at least once the kindness he has so often done for me?Am I capable of honorably performing the greatest and most important duties of my life?Dear Wal-Mart, I have your teachings in my heart, but if only I could act wisely like you!what!If only I could see Edward happy someday!If, according to his plan and yours, we shall all be together, what can I wish for?Only one wish remains, but this wish depends neither on you, nor on me, nor on anyone in the world, but only on the virtue of your wife will be rewarded, and quietly write down your God of good deeds.