Chapter 74 Seven Letters From Julie

O my dear friend!You are the only hope in my heart, and you even ran back and stabbed me in the heart when I was extremely sad!I am ready to accept the blow of fate, I have a premonition about it, and I can endure it with strength, but you, it is because of you that I have suffered the blow of fate!well!I cannot bear a blow from your side, nor can I bear to see my afflictions aggravated by you who are supposed to comfort me.All the tender consolations I had hoped for from you have vanished with the loss of your courage.How often have I secretly rejoiced, thinking that your courage would cheer me up, that your virtues would erase my faults, that your virtues would revive my depressed heart!How many times have I wiped my bitter tears and thought to myself, "I suffered for him, and he deserved it; I was guilty, but he was a virtuous man; and though I was troubled and melancholy, But his loyalty sustains me, and I feel that deep down he wants to make up for all my losses!" My hopes were dashed, and the first trial destroyed it!Where is that love which sublimates all sentiments and strengthens virtue?Where have all those heroic proverbs gone?What about the ambition to emulate the greats?Where is the unfortunate philosopher whose will cannot be shaken, and how he breaks down at the prospect of parting from his lover?When I see that the man who has seduced me is nothing but a coward without courage, who only wants to be happy, who is discouraged when he encounters setbacks, and a stupid person who needs reason and cannot use it, I will henceforth How can you still have the face to live!Ah, God!I have already been humiliated by losing my virginity, shall I be humiliated again by misjudging the person?

Look what you've become now!You are obsessed and perverse, and you accuse me cruelly!How dare you blame me!How dare you hate me! ...hate you Julie! ...It's really unreasonable! ...You are so guilty, why do you still write something like that?You used to be so in love, but why can you muster up the courage to insult me?well!If you doubt my heart, it shows how contemptible your heart is!No, don't doubt my heart, you can't doubt my heart, my heart is loyal, your anger is unreasonable.Right at this very moment, I hate this injustice of yours, and you can see it so clearly, for the first time in my life.

Even if I got here by blindly trusting others, even if my plans fail, can it be my fault?You would be ashamed of your brutality, if you knew what hopes I had, and what plans I had daringly conceived for your and mine's mutual happiness, and how all my hopes came to naught!Sometimes, I secretly rejoice, thinking that you will understand these situations more clearly, and you will regret that you have wronged me.You know that my father gave the order to die; you know that people are talking about it; I also expected the consequences, and I asked my cousin to explain it to you, and you felt it as we do; therefore, in order to make If we can take care of each other for each other, we must submit to the fate that separates us.

How dare you say that I drove you away!You heartless lover, I want to ask you, for whom am I doing this!Heartless!For a person who is sincere, for whom I would rather die a thousand times than see me humiliated!You said, what will happen to you if my reputation is ruined?Do you want to put up with my humiliation?Well, come and see me being humiliated, cruel man, if you really think so, then I will have the courage to sacrifice my reputation and endure humiliation just like you.Come on, don't be afraid that I, the one who loves you, will not recognize you.I am ready to tell before heaven and all that we have felt each other; I am ready to proclaim you my lover and die in your arms in love and shame.I would rather the world know my tenderness than see you doubt it for a moment.Your blaming me hurts me more than others humiliating me.

I beg you, put an end to this mutual complaint for good, I can't take it anymore.Ah, God!How can we quarrel with each other when we love each other?How can we torture each other when we are in desperate need of mutual comfort?No, my friend, you are not unhappy, why pretend to be?Let's blame our fate, don't complain about our love.Never have we been so perfect; never have we been in love so long.Our two hearts are united and cannot be separated; we are two parts of one whole and cannot live apart.How can you just feel that you are suffering?Why don't you feel the pain in my heart, your friend?How can your heart not hear her soft lament at all?Her soft lament is more sad than your manic cry!If you understand my pain, you will know that my pain is much greater than your pain!

You think your fate is miserable!Then look at the fate of your Julie, and you will weep for her fate.In our common misfortune, compare my position as a woman with yours as a man, and see which of us deserves the most sympathy.Even though the passion is surging, you have to pretend to be indifferent; when you have all kinds of pain in your heart, you have to force yourself to smile and pretend to be happy; It’s normal for a girl of my age to lie when she’s full of thoughts and expressions;Our good times were spent under the tyranny of kindness, and in the end, we had to follow the orders of our parents to marry an unsatisfactory man!But it is vain to try to tie our hearts; our hearts are not slaves, they will do what they will.Under a yoke not imposed by heaven, only the body is bound, not the mind: the body is not the same as the faith; and while you compel an unfortunate woman to commit a sin, you must Let her violate the sacred duty of fidelity in one way or another.There are some more well-behaved women.what!I know this.They have never been in love at all, how happy they are!They can resist; I have tried to resist the temptation of love.They are stronger than I am, but are they more virtuous than I?Without you, and as long as I am without you, I should always have loved virtue.Is it true that I no longer love virtue? ... You ruined me, and I have to come to comfort you! ...but what will happen to me? ... Without the comfort of love, the comfort of friendship alone is useless!Who will comfort me when I am in trouble?What a terrible fate befell me!For I who have lived in sin, in a repulsive and perhaps inevitable marriage, will sin again!If I yield, where shall I find enough tears to weep over my faults and my lover!How could I have the strength to resist when I was devastated!I think I've seen my angry father throwing a fit.I think I have felt the cry of nature stirring my guts, and the pain of love tearing my heart.Without you, I become a source of nothing, no support, no hope.Past events have corrupted me, present circumstances have saddened me, and future outcomes have frightened me.I used to think that I did everything for our happiness, but I just made us look down even more and had to be separated more painfully.False joys are gone, there is only guilt and regret, and the shame that has humiliated me is hard to wash away.

It's me, it's me who is weak and dead and bad.Let me weep and suffer; I can't atone for my faults if I weep dry; Time, which heals all, gives me nothing but excuses for weeping.But you, you have no tyranny to worry about, shame did not destroy you, you only felt the effects of misfortune, but at least you can retain the original virtue, and how you have fallen like a woman lamenting, Moaning, and mad like a madman?Haven't I had enough of others' contempt for you?I have been despised, but you have not been spurned; I have been disgraced, but you have not been dishonored.So you have to renew your courage, you have to learn to suffer, and you have to be a man.Let me also boldly say, be a lover worthy of Julie's choice.well!If I am no longer worthy to inspire your courage, you should at least remember that I did.You have to be worthy of everything I have done for you, and don't let me embarrass others again.

No, my venerable friend, that effeminate letter, which I could never have recognized as being from your hand, I should like to forget forever, and I think you are now regretting it yourself.Despite my scorn and shame, I hope, I venture to hope, that what I have told of the past will not depress you, that my image may still shine brightly in the hearts of those whose passions I can make alive, I Although I stumbled, I don't want the person who caused me to stumble to become cowardly and make me blame myself. You are lucky in your misfortune, for you have received the most precious compensation that a man of affection can receive.God gave you a friend in your misfortune, and made you think that what he gave you was better than what he took from you.Honor and cherish this heroic man who gave up his quiet life to care for you and restore you to sanity.You'll be thankful if you learn all that he wants to do for you!But why bring up something that hurts you and make you feel grateful?You don't have to know how much he loves you to know how much he's doing for you.If you can't love him as much as he deserves, you can't help respecting him as a man worthy of respect.