Chapter 57 Letter Fifty-five to Julie

what!My dear girlfriend, let's die together!The favorite of my heart, we can die!We have tasted the joy of youth, and now it is insipid, so what is the use of it in the future?Please tell me, if possible, what is the meaning of all that I feel on this incredible night.Tell me what will be the result of a life thus spent; and if I shall never again enjoy the pleasures I shared with you last night, let it be for me.what!I was nothing but an empty dream, imagining only the happiness of a child.My senses deceive my dull mind.I sought only the highest sensual pleasures, and found that my sensual pleasures had only just begun when they were exhausted.Ah, you are the only masterpiece of nature!Holy Julie!It took all the passion of my most ardent love to begrudgingly possess you in ecstasy!No, it's not all that passion that I regret most.what!No, take back, if necessary, your enchanting love, for which I would have given my life a thousand times, but give me back everything that does not belong to this love and can be written off .Leave me the close bond of heart that thou hast promised me, and which thou hast let me enjoy; Leave me the sweeter feeling of waking from a dream; leave me the choking sobs and tender tears; leave me those sweet kisses we've shared so lingeringly; hold you close to me, Leave to me those most tender low moans that I have stuck to your heart.

Julie, you are good at guessing other people's feelings with your own feelings, so just tell me, do you think what I felt before was the feeling of real love?Believe me, my feeling has changed its character since yesterday; it has become a little less violent, but calmer, more tender, more charming.Do you remember that solid hour we spent together?We are pouring out our love quietly, feeling confused and worried about the future, so we feel that the present is more precious.This hour, alas!It was simply too short, and there was a touch of melancholy that made our heart-to-heart talk so heart-pounding.I was very obedient at the time, but I was close to you: I admired you without any extravagant thoughts; your face was against mine, your breath floated on my cheeks, your jade wrists held My neck, I can't imagine being happier than this.How serene my senses are!What kind of carnal pleasure is that pure, continuous, and pervasive!That charming enjoyment is kept in the heart, no longer escapes, and lasts forever.How different is that wild love in such a state of extreme tranquility!It's the first time in my life that I've felt this difference next to you, but please judge this strange change I feel, this is the most precious hour of my life for me , and the only hour I would have liked to go on endlessly.

Tell me, Julie, did I never love you before, or do I no longer love you? Now do I no longer love you?What nonsense!Am I already dead?Does not my life live more in you than in mine?I feel, I really feel, that you are a thousand times more precious to me now than ever, and that, in my downfall, I find new strength to love you more tenderly.It is true that my affection for you is calmer than before, but it is more full of different kinds of love.Instead of diminishing, it is widening and strengthening: the tenderness of friendship overpowers the passionate love, and I cannot imagine any reason why I should not be united to you.Ah, my dear sweetheart!O my wife, my sister, my dear friend!Even if I exhaust the most precious words in a man's heart, it is still difficult to express my true feelings!

I must confess to you that one of the doubts in my mind when I was ashamed and humiliated with myself was that I thought you knew more about love than I did.Yes, my Julie, it is you who make my life and my being; I adore you with all the wisdom of my heart.However, your heart is more passionate, and love is deeply rooted in your heart. I see your love and feel your love; The beautiful eyes are gentle and charming, making your voice beautiful.It is love that spreads to others when you are present, and the infected person tastes this love without knowing it.But why don't I have this kind of touching power that fills my heart!I was thinking of pleasure, but you were thinking of love.What I have is fanaticism, but you are lingering affection. My fanaticism is far less than your lingering affection. The emotion in your heart is the only noble happiness.I enjoyed such pure joy only yesterday.You have left me with that incredible beauty in you, and I think you have opened a new soul to me with your sweet breath.I beg you, hurry up and finish your masterpiece.Take away everything left in my heart and replace it with your soul.No, celestial beauty, angelic soul, only emotions like yours can make you attractive.Only you are qualified to inspire a perfect love, and only you can feel it.what!Give me your heart, my Julie, that I may love you as you deserve.