Chapter 12 12. Two teenage girls who lost their footing—from low self-esteem to self-abuse

There is another example in which the inferiority complex and the superiority complex can be clearly seen. A 16-year-old girl was sent to me. She has been stealing since she was 7 years old, and she has been sleeping out with boys since she was 12 years old.When she was two, her parents divorced after a long and bitter quarrel.She was brought up by her mother to her grandmother's house, but her grandmother loved the child very much.When she was born, the feud between her parents was at its height, so her mother did not welcome her arrival.She has never liked her daughter, and there has always been a tension between them.

When this girl came to see me, I spoke to her in a friendly manner, and she told me, "I don't like taking people's things or hanging around with boys, I just do it to let my mother know: She can't control me!" "Are you doing this out of revenge?" I asked her. "I think so," she replied. She wants to prove that she is stronger than her mother, but she has this goal because she feels weaker than her mother.She felt her mother disliked her and suffered from an inferiority complex.She thinks the only way to assert her superiority is to cause trouble everywhere.Children who commit theft or other misdeeds are often motivated by a desire for revenge.

A 15-year-old girl disappeared for 8 days.When she was found, she was taken to juvenile court.There she made up a story that she was kidnapped by a man who tied her up and locked her in a house for eight days.No one believed her words.The doctor talked to her kindly and asked her to tell the truth.She was so annoyed that the doctor didn't believe her story that she slapped him across the face. When I saw her, I asked her what she wanted to do in the future, and gave her the impression that I was only interested in her own destiny and that I could help her too. When I asked her to name a dream she had, she laughed and said something like this: "I was in a speakeasy. When I came out, I met my mother.

Soon, my father also came.I asked my mother to hide me so he wouldn't see me. " She was terrified of her father and had been fighting against him.He often punished her, and she was forced to lie for fear of punishment. When we hear cases of lying, we have to look to see if the person involved had strict parents.A lie is meaningless unless the truth is perceived as dangerous.On the other hand, we can also see that the girl can still cooperate with her mother. Later, she told me: Someone lured her to a speakeasy, where she spent eight days.Because her uncle knew about it, she dared not tell the truth, but at the same time she hoped that he would know what had happened, so that he would be at a disadvantage.She felt subdued by him all the time, and it was only when she hurt him that she got a taste of a conqueror.